Positive Relationships, Gender and
Bullying: A Guide to Resources for
Educators working with Primary
School Children
This guide to tackling the subjects of positive relationships, gender and bullying with primary
aged children begins by recognising that work with young children around gender and
bullying can be both sensitive and complex.
We often may want to not think of harm coming to the very young children we work with or
feel that addressing these issues is best left until they are older.
However, in the primary years, we can lay the foundation for later work with teenagers.
Work on positive relationships, gender and bullying enable young children to;

be healthy

stay safe

enjoy and achieve

make a positive contribution
It is central to achieving the aims of the Every Child Matters agenda. Similarly, work in this
area meets many of the requirements of the Citizenship and PSHE curricula.
The skills that enable children to keep emotionally and physically safe are vital to ensuring
both their well-being and success as young learners.
‘It’s hard to get good music out of an unhappy choirboy [or girl].’
– Edward Higginbottom, Director of the Choir of New College, Oxford.
This guide offers some points for consideration when delivering work on these issues,
signposts users to other relevant guides on dealing with disclosures and sources of support
and suggests a series of resources which have been found to be useful and informative by
White Ribbon Campaign UK and its partners. All of the online resources are free to
download.
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Guidance for Professionals
We recognise that you are the experts on the young people with whom you work. Some of
the resources below will work well with one group of young people, in one setting and less
well in another. Therefore, when choosing a resource, we recommend:
1. Fully familiarising yourself with the resource. For example, if it is a film watch it all
the way through.
2. Consider how your young people will react to the content of the resource. For
example, is it likely to provoke strong reactions and, if so, how can these be best
managed?
3. Consider whether it would be advisable to liaise with colleagues before using the
resource or have it pre-approved by your line manager.
4. Consider whether you need to consult with parents or carers before using the
resource.
5. Consider whether the resource is appropriate for the age group with whom you
work.
6. Consider whether you need to adapt the resource in any way so that it better meets
the needs of the group or individuals you work with.
7. Consider whether you are prepared to deal with any disclosures arising from the
work (see Tender’s guidance on how to deal with children who make disclosures of
abuse at:
http://www.tender.org.uk/files/Guidance%20On%20Responding%20To%20A%20C
hild%20Disclosing%20Abuse%20compressed.PDF )
8. Consider whether you are prepared to signpost students to other agencies and
sources of support (see our guide to Support Services).
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Resources for work with Younger Children
Expect Respect Toolkit
The Expect Respect Toolkit by Women’s Aid consists of one easy to use
core lesson for each year group from Reception to Year 13. It can be used
in a variety of settings such as youth clubs and play schemes, as well as
schools. The lesson plans and resources are mapped to the curriculum
and are based on themes which have been found to be effective in
tackling domestic abuse. Available at:
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/page.asp?section=0001000100280001&sectionTitle=Educ
ation+Toolkit
Spiralling
Spiralling by Bristol Domestic Abuse Forum is an educational film and
toolkit which offers activities for children aged 4 to adults designed to
prevent relationship abuse in the next generation. It enables learners
to; recognise safe and potentially abusive relationships, know how to
help themselves and support their friends, develop conflict resolution
skills, have respectful, trusting and equal relationships and
understand the law and how it can protect victims. Spiralling can be
used in a wide range of education and support settings. Available at:
http://www.bdaf.org.uk/professionals/spiralling-dvd-and-toolkit
Gold Stars and Dragon Marks
Gold Stars and Dragon Marks is a 20 minute film and teaching resource
pack by the Scottish Government, which guides teachers and pupils
through an exploration of the issues of domestic abuse and bullying.
Available at: http://www.dartsscotland.org/resources/teachingresources/view/87/gold-stars-%2526-dragon-marks
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Feel safe at home: what to do if violence is happening around you
Feel safe at home: what to do if violence is happening around you is a
compact user-friendly booklet for children aged 7-12. It talks in a straightforward language about what domestic violence is, how it can make
children feel, and how and where they can get help. It explains that
domestic violence is not their fault and that there are people who will listen and
understand. Available at:
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/Inform/publications/domesticviolence_wda56390.html
In the know: keeping safe and strong
In the know: keeping safe and strong is aimed at children aged 8-11.
It uses illustrations, quizzes and cartoon strips to tackle the difficult
subject of child abuse. Children can feel alone with their problems;
they often think that they cannot tell anyone or that no one can help
them or protect them. This booklet helps children understand the
problems faced by young people who are abused and advises them
on how to keep safe. Available at:
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/Inform/resourcesforteachers/classroomresources/intheknow_
wda49558.html
All about me: ChildLine teachers’ pack for children with special
educational needs (Key Stage 2/ Key Stage 3)
This pack is designed for children with a variety of special needs including:
visual and hearing impairments, physical disabilities, emotional and
behavioural difficulties (EBD), moderate learning difficulties (MBD) and
multiple disabilities. It meets PSHE criteria for Key Stage 2 and also has
elements of music, art, drama and multimedia. The pack helps to increase
children’s self-esteem, identify people whom they can trust, communicate
when they are feeling unhappy or unsafe and enables them to learn the
skills to access help. Available at:
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/Inform/resourcesforteachers/classroomresources/classroomre
sources_wda49900.html
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Chicken Little
Chicken Little (2005) tells the story of a chicken that is the target of
school bullies. Having thought that they sky was falling, Chicken Little
causes widespread panic and finds his reputation in tatters. He has to
overcome great odds to overcome bullying and teasing and to try to fit in.
This film could be used to start a conversation about bullying and teasing
with small children. Please observe the BBFC guidance with regards to
showing this film to audiences.
Edward Scissorhands
In Edward Scissorhands (1990) an outsider character with scissors for
hands forms a relationship with a suburban high school girl. Despite
being gentle, Edward is bullied for being different and is
misunderstood by many. This film could be a gentle way to introduce
themes of bullying and prejudice. Please observe the BBFC guidance
with regards to showing this film to audiences.
Stand By Me
In Stand By Me (1986) four friends set out on an adventure to find the
body of a local teenager. Having been bullied by older siblings, Geordie,
Chris, Teddy and Vern undertake a journey in which they risk their lives,
stand up to bullies, conflict with one another and bond together as
friends. The film could be used to explore issues of bullying, friendship
and the pressures of being a teenager. Please observe the BBFC guidance
with regards to showing this film to audiences.
Jacqueline Wilson’s The Illustrated Mum
Jacqueline Wilson’s The Illustrated Mum is a television adaptation of
her novel in which Star and Dolphin are two young sisters who act as
carers for their alcoholic and manic depressive mum. Available at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8guIaxghyLI
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Goodnight Mr Tom
Goodnight Mr Tom is an ITV adaptation of Michelle Magorian’s
novel about Willie who is evacuated from London’s East End
during the Second World War and, in so doing, finds an escape
from the mother who beat him, with kindly and taciturn Mr
Tom. Available at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0ZCMwHlNfs
Amazing Grace
Amazing Grace by Mary Hoffman tells the story of Grace; a girl
who loves stories and believes, quite rightly, she can be anything
she wants to be. Her classmates tell her that as a black girl she
can’t play Peter Pan, which causes Grace to feel downhearted, but
with help from the positive role model of her grandmother, Grace
finds her faith in herself in time for the auditions.
“A wonderful, hopeful and yet realistic story for today's children.”
--Lucie Naylor
A Terrible Thing Happened
A Terrible Thing Happened by Margaret M. Holmes is the story
of Sherman, a little badger, who sees something terrible. The
unnamed “something” scares and upsets him and Sherman
attempts to deal with these feelings by becoming angry. When
Sherman meet Ms Maple he finds that by drawing pictures,
playing games and talking to a responsible person about the
thing that happened he can feel happy again. This book is aimed
at 4-7 year olds and can help them to recover, build self-esteem
and feel safe.
Bill’s New Frock
Bill’s New Frock by Anne Fine is the story of Bill who wakes up one morning
to find he has changed into a girl. His mother sends him off to school in a
pink frock! How will Bill survive, when everything is so different for girls?
“Fine has a rare genius for building a funny, enriching and moving story
around the nuts and bolts of school life” - The Times
“Anne Fine is an author who knows how to make readers laugh” – The
Guardian
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Clover’s Secret: Helping Kids Cope with Domestic Abuse
Clover’s Secret: Helping Kids Cope with Domestic Abuse by Christine M.
Winn is set in an imaginary land where people can fly. Two young girls form
a friendship that helps one of them deal with the problems she faces at
home.
Dizzy and Sundae Girl
Dizzy tells the story of a young girl who is emotionally abused by her
inadequate mother. She is initially spellbound when her absent mother, Storm,
returns and takes her daughter travelling on the New Age festival circuit, but
she is soon disappointed and left feeling vulnerable by Storm’s unreliability.
Farmer Duck
Farmer Duck by Martin Waddell is a cross between Cinderella
and Animal Farm and can be used to introduce ideas of Marxism
and exploitation to even the youngest children. A gluttonous,
lazy farmer spends all day in bed, leaving all his work to his poor
duck. One day the duck collapses and is comforted by the
chickens who hatch a plan.
Farmer Duck won the Smarties Book Prize and British Book
Awards Children's Illustrated Book of the Year.
Goodnight Mr Tom
Goodnight Mr Tom by Michelle Magorian is an unconventional and
classic tale that tells the story of Willie who, during the second world
war, is evacuated from his unhappy home in London’s East End, where
his mother beats him, and finds love and security with Mr Tom and his
dog.
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Hands are not for Hitting
Hands are not for Hitting by Martine Agassi simply reinforces that
hands are not for hitting; helping children to learn what are and are
not appropriate ways of using their hands and promoting best
behaviour in and out of the classroom.
Hansel and Gretel
Hansel and Gretel by Anthony Browne is a picture book which retells the
Brothers Grimm tale. It offers opportunities to discuss emotional abuse,
imprisonment and abandonment in the family. The imagery is sombre
and the themes are mature enough to appeal to children up to their early
teens.
It’s My Body: A Book to Teach Young Children How to Resist
Uncomfortable Touch
It’s My Body: A Book to Teach Young Children How to Resist Uncomfortable
Touch by Lory Freeman enables children to learn appropriate responses to
physical assault, in a manner which is sensitive and doesn’t provoke
damaging guilty feelings. It contains phrases for the children to practice
saying, should they ever feel uncomfortable about any kind of touch.
Ultimately, it helps children to value and celebrate their bodies and
develop a sense of autonomy and independence.
Owl Babies
Owl Babies by Martin Waddell tells the story of Sarah, Percy and Bill,
three baby owls who wake up to find their mother has gone. Owl
Babies may be used to reassure children, who are being left at school
for the first time, that their parents will return.
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Princess Smartypants
Princess Smartypants by Babette Cole is a story about an unusual and
extraordinary princess who rides a motorbike and doesn’t want to get
married. As she is a pretty and rich princess, a lot of princes want to
make her their Mrs, so Princess Smartypants fights for her
independence and puts her admiring princes to the test.
Something is Wrong at my House: A Book about Parents Fighting
Something is Wrong at my House: A Book about Parents Fighting by
Diane Davis is differentiated; having a simple story for younger
children and one with more detail for older children. It can help
children to deal with feelings arising from experiencing domestic
abuse and includes positive affirmations to enable healing and
develop self-esteem.
Sundae Girl
Sundae Girl by Cathy Cassidy tells the story of Jude, whose home life is
characterised by her mother’s alcoholism and her grandmother’s Alzheimer’s
condition. Jude is effectively a carer and is weighed down by her
responsibilities. As such, she struggles to accept love, but she is supported by
her devoted grandfather and this lends hope to an otherwise bleak story.
Talking to my Mum: A Picture Workbook for Workers, Mothers and
Children Affected by Domestic Abuse
Talking to my Mum: A Picture Workbook for Workers, Mothers
and Children Affected by Domestic Abuse by Catherine
Humphreys is an activity pack for 5-8-year-olds whose families
have experienced domestic abuse to help and encourage them to
open up to their mothers about their distressing experiences.
Based on the authors' work with families who have experienced
domestic abuse, the book is full of illustrated worksheets,
featuring animal characters that encourage the young reader to
explore a range of memories, such as changes in the family's
living arrangements or happy memories with siblings or favourite
toys that each prompt a particular emotion.
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The Illustrated Mum
The Illustrated Mum by Jacqueline Wilson tells the story of Star and Dolphin,
two young sisters who are effectively parenting their alcoholic and manic
depressive mum, Marigold. The themes are explored with unsentimental
compassion helping to make the story appropriate for younger readers and
the book could act as a lifeline to some.
The Paper Bag Princess
The Paper Bag Princess by Robert Munsch is the story of a
resourceful princess and her useless prince. It reverses the
“princess and the dragon” stereotype and celebrates its
feisty heroine.
“One of the best children’s books ever written.” – New York
Times
The Princess and the Secret
The Princess and the Secret by Narinder Dhami is a short story which
introduces themes of alcoholism and emotional abuse in the family
and is told from the perspective of a young girl who feels responsible
for her alcoholic mother’s welfare. She writes her own story as a fairy
tale which she accidentally submits as homework and finds that by
talking to others she can work towards her own happy ending.
Suitable for children aged 9-11. Available at:
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/Inform/resourcesforteachers/classroomresources/classroomre
sources_wda49900.html
The Right Touch: Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child Sex Abuse
In The Right Touch: Read-Aloud Story to Help Prevent Child
Sex Abuse by Sandy Kleven, young Jimmy’s mum explains the
difference between touches that are positive and touches
that are secret, deceptive or forced. She tells him how to
resist inappropriate touching; affirming that abuse is not the
child’s fault. This book won the 1999 Benjamin Franklin
Parenting Award. It was a finalist for the Small Press Award
and was also "Selected as Outstanding" by the Parent
Council, Ltd.
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The Tulip Touch
The Tulip Touch by Anne Fine tells the story of Tulip’s abuse by her father and
the damage Tulip does in return as a compulsive liar and arsonist. Tulip makes
many imaginative cries for help and forms and forms a relationship with
Natalie, who is Tulip’s rescuer, victim, and, eventually, betrayer. It enable’s
reflection on society’s responsibility for unhappy children
Your Body Belongs to You
Your Body Belongs to You by Cornelia Spellman helps young
children to learn assertiveness and respect for body boundaries.
It distinguishes between “good” touches and “bad” touches and
defines private parts as those parts of the body that are covered
by bathing suits. It also encourages children not to feel that they
have to keep secrets if they are touched in an inappropriate way.
This list is by no means exhaustive and should you have any suggestions of resources for
tackling; teen partner abuse, sexual bullying or gendered violence, that you have found
particularly useful when working with young people, please let us know. Your feedback is
welcomed.
White Ribbon Campaign UK
Address: White Ribbon House, 1, New Road, Mytholmroyd, Hebden Bridge,
West Yorks, HX7 5DZ.
Tel: 01422 886545
Website: www.whiteribboncampaign.co.uk
Email: info@whiteribboncampaign.co.uk
Registered Charity: 1123874
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