Summary of:
Afifi, W.A., & Burgoon, J.K. (1998). “We never talk about that”: A Comparison of cross-sex
friendships and dating relationships on uncertainty and topic avoidance. Personal Relationships,
5, 255-272.
Summary by Ashley Allen and Tatianna Smith
For Dr. Mills’ Psychology 310.01 class, Fall, 2008
Introduction
Research conducted on relationships, both friendships and dating relationships, have
become a very popular field of study over the decades. The constructs that most researchers
initially hypothesized on in their study’s were on the notions of openness and self-disclosure.
Many of these researchers believed that a relationship’s development relied heavily on the
amount of self-disclosure, or interpersonal sharing of information, and without high levels of
self-disclosure and openness these relationships would not survive. Parks (1982) and Bochner
(1982) however argued against this belief. Both Parks and Bochner “pointed out several cases in
which openness is not always synonymous with relational growth and other instances in which
openness may be harmful to relationships” (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 255). The idea of being
more closed or “closedness” in relationships has been shown to be an important part in a
relationship’s development. Walid Afifi and Judee Burgoon point out in their study that not
much research has been done on topic avoidance or “closedness” in different relationship types
and this is why they decided to focus on this in their research.
The construct of uncertainty was one that Afifi and Burgoon found to be useful in
understanding the patterns of topic avoidance in relationships. Researchers Berger and Calabrese
(1975) were the ones to first outline the Uncertainty Reduction Theory (URT) which “argued
that individuals are uncomfortable with uncertainty and are motivated to increase predictability
when involved in interactions characterized by uncertainty” (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 256).
This theory is highly supported by researchers when focusing on the roles of uncertainty in
dating relationships but not in cross-sex friendships. Researchers have found that in cross-sex
friendships people tend to maintain high levels of uncertainty in certain areas of their
relationship. It has been hypothesized by Baxter and Wilmot (1985) that people in these crosssex friendships may have higher topic avoidance because they have more romantic potential.
These same people in cross-sex friendships may be “less certain of their friends’ reaction to the
disclosed information” unlike people in dating relationships who may know where their partner
stands (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 256). Afifi and Burgoon sought to explain the frequency of
topic avoidance in cross-sex friendships and dating relationships by focusing on uncertainty.
Uncertainty Reduction Theory and Uncertainty Research
Uncertainty according to the URT is defined as “a function of both the ability to predict
and the ability to explain actions of others and of self” (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 256). People
who know more about their partners therefore have low levels of uncertainty when compared to
people who know very little about their partners and have high levels of uncertainty. There has
been some debate however on the URT and the two main issues are whether or not uncertainty is
actually viewed as something negative by people in relationships and whether or not high levels
of uncertainty cause people to find ways to reduce it. While some researchers believe that
uncertainty is always bad or aversive in relationships others have found that at times it can lead
to excitement due to unpredictability in relationships. Also in regards to the topic of health
researchers have found that some people avoid learning more information about their health
status when uncertain about it, due to the fear of finding something they do not want to know.
The debates on both of these issues continue to rage on today.
Topic Avoidance in Relationships
A study conducted by Baxter and Wilmot (1985) “found that 97% of their participants
had avoided discussing at least one topic with their relational partner (friend of the opposite sex
or dating partner)” (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 258). Guerrero and Afifi found 5 general topics
in their numerous studies that people in relationships tended to avoid talking about. These 5
topics are: relationship issues, negative life experiences, dating experiences, friendships, and
sexual experiences. When trying to understand why so many participants admitted to avoiding
certain topics the participants stated that by talking about these things it would be destructive to
their relationships and therefore it was better to be avoid them. Both Guerrero and Afifi
concluded that in these relationships “the unknown may be preferred to the possibility of hearing
undesired information” (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 259). These findings lead Afifi & Burgoon
to come up with their three hypothesizes which stated that: “there is a positive linear relationship
between degree of uncertainty and amount of topic avoidance, members of cross-sex friendships
experience higher uncertainty regarding relational state than do members of dating relationships,
and finally members of cross-sex friendships avoid discussion of relation state to a greater extent
than do members of dating relationships” (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 259-261).
Methods
The study conducted by Afifi and Burgoon consisted of seventy-two cross-sex friendship
dyads and 39 dating dyads. The participants could bring either a friend of the opposite sex, who
they had never dated and had known for at least 2 months or a dating partner who they had been
with for at least 2 months. The participants were recruited from a southwestern university and
were given course credit. In the study the participants ranged from 18 to 42 years old with the
mean age being 22 and the participants were mostly Caucasian. Participants who were in the
dating group had been dating for 2 years on average and friends had been friends on average for
a year and 10 months. A 7-point scale was used to measure the satisfaction levels of all
participants in their relationships and on average they had a satisfaction level of 5.20 for friends
and 5.89 for daters. All participants were given two different surveys and participated in one 20
minute interview with the researcher. The two different surveys were done independently and in
two different locations, at the participant’s house and at the university’s communication research
lab. While taking the surveys the participants were told to keep in mind their friend or
boyfriend/girlfriend. Both qualitative and quantitative data was gathered by the researchers in
this study through the use of different measures. The first survey measured “general uncertainty,
relational state uncertainty, relational satisfaction, jealousy experience, and social desirability”
(Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 262). The second survey measured “jealousy expression, topic
avoidance, romantic interest (only given to the friends sample), and relational closeness” (Afifi
& Burgoon, 1998, pp 263). In all surveys a 7-point Likert scale was used. When measuring topic
avoidance the researches had the participants report on when they avoided topics that dealt with,
“relationship norms (time spent with one another), prior dating relationships, the state of their
relationship, negative behavior, other friendships with members of the opposite sex, conflictinducing topics, other friendships with members of the same sex, and negative relational
behavior (past behavior that caused strain on the relationship)” (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 263).
Results and Discussion
The results from the study found that cross-sex friendships were more likely to be
uncertain and avoid certain issues of their relational state when compared to dating relationships.
The researchers also found a “positive linear trend between levels of uncertainty and degrees of
avoidance” (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998, pp 266-267). Also, participants in the study who were more
uncertain about certain topics were more likely to avoid reducing their levels of uncertainty on
those topics by talking about them. By keeping in mind that the average length of relationships in
the study were 2 years, that would give enough time for the participants to try and reduce their
uncertainty by talking with their friends or partners, but instead they continued to avoid the
topics all together. The researchers hypothesized that when the people in these relationships
think that they will not receive the information they want, they avoid these topics. These
“individuals sometimes seem to prefer not knowing than finding out negative information” (Afifi
& Burgoon, 1998, pp 267). While there were higher levels of uncertainty in cross-sex friends
than in dating relationships, there was still a relatively low amount of uncertainty in all of the
relationships, average was about 3.13 on a 7-point scale. The important fact that not all cross-sex
friendships are the same was brought up in the study’s discussion. There are differences between
close cross-sex friendships and causal cross-sex friendships. The levels of closeness between
these friendships can have an effect on whether or not they avoid certain topics. In the study they
also found that even with higher levels of uncertainty, cross-sex friendships were still just as
satisfied as dating partners in their relationships. This finding correlates with the finding that
uncertainty can be seen as exciting and mysterious in relationships, both with friends and with
lovers. While friends avoided discussing relational state and relationship norms more than the
dating dyads, the dating dyads avoided discussing past dating relationships and current oppositesex friendships more than the friendships. Afifi and Burgoon (1998) also found that “the two
relationship types did not differ in the extent to which they avoided discussing negative personal
behavior, negative relational behavior, same-sex friendships, or conflict- inducing topics” (pp
268). More importantly the researchers tried to explain their findings by stating that “whereas
fear of inducing or experiencing jealousy seems to underlie the avoidance of discussing past
relationships and current opposite-sex friendships, fear of vulnerability or embarrassment may
motivate the avoidance of relationship issues in cross-sex friendships” (Afifi & Burgoon, 1998,
pp 268).
I.
INTRODUCTION
A. Views on relationship development
1. Self-Disclosure, good or bad in relationships?
2. Uncertainty in friendships and relationships
B. Uncertainty Reduction Theory
1. Definition of the theory
a. The aversion to uncertainty
b. Uncertainty and the motivation to reduce it
C. Topic Avoidance
1. Correlation with topic avoidance and uncertainty (Hypothesis 1)
2. Uncertainty in cross-sex friendships
a. More specifically relational state uncertainty (Hypothesis 2)
3. Topic avoidance in cross-sex friendships (Hypothesis 3)
II.
III.
IV.
METHODS
A. Groups
1. Cross- Sex Friends- 72 dyads
2. Dating partners- 39 dyads
B. Experimental Procedure
1. 1st Survey
a. Taken independently at home with partner/ friend in mind
nd
2. 2 Survey
a. Taken independently at lab with partner/friend in mind
3. Interview with researcher
C. Measures
1.
All measures used a 7-point Likert scale
RESULTS
A. Positive Relationship between Uncertainty and Topic Avoidance
1. Comparison between cross-sex friendships and dating relationships
B. Higher Levels of Relational State Uncertainty in Cross-Sex Friendships
1. The influences on this finding
C. Higher Levels of Topic Avoidance in Cross-Sex Friendships
DISCUSSION
A. Patterns
1. Low levels of uncertainty in both groups
2. High satisfaction regardless to uncertainty
B. Limitations
1. Participants were only from one southwestern university
2. Only college students used in sample
3. Reliance on other older measures in the study
Critical Review
I.
Liked
A. That the study controlled for satisfaction in both relationships, in relationships
where people weren’t satisfied they would have uncertainty and topic avoidance due
to lack of communication, not other factors.
B. Multiple measures were used in the study. There were two separate surveys and an
interview with experimenter.
C. There was a large sample size of over 100 participants in the study.
II.
Disliked
A. The methods section was unclear on how experimenters distributed the surveys.
B. The researchers primarily used Caucasian and Hispanic participants in the study.
C. The researchers used other study’s measures and did not operationally define the
measures.
Test Questions
1. Which issue was not measured in the study:
a) topic avoidance
b) general uncertainty
c) sexual fidelity
d) romantic interest
2. How long did the participants have to know their friend or partner for in order to participate in
the study?
a) 2 months
b) 8 months
c) 1 year
d) 5 years
3. Dating relationships, in comparison to cross-sex friendships, avoided discussion more on the
topic of
a) Relational state
b) Opposite Sex Friendships
c) Same Sex Friendships
d) Relational Norms
4. (T/F) The study focused on same-sex friendships and their elevated levels of uncertainty and
topic avoidance.
5. (T/F) Members of cross-sex friendships avoid discussion of relational state to a greater extent
than do members of dating relationships.
6. (T/F) The procedure in the study consisted of distributing two surveys and giving one
interview.
Answers:
1) C, 2) A, 3) B, 4) F, 5) T, 6) T