HIP3E
MANAGING PERSONAL
RESOURCES
GRADE 11, WORKPLACE PREPARATION
Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Introduction
Introductory Information for HIP 3E
Managing Personal Resources
Introduction:
This course prepares students for living independently and working successfully with
others. Students will learn to manage their personal resources (including talent, money,
and time), to develop interpersonal skills, and to understand economic influences on
workplace issues, in order to make wise and responsible personal and occupational
choices. The course emphasizes the achievement of expectations through practical
experiences and introduces students to skills used in researching and investigating
resource management. (The Ontario Curriculum, Grades 11 and 12, Social Sciences
and Humanities).
Materials Required:
This course is made up of 4 units. Each unit has a lesson book. In the lesson book
you will find all of the reading material necessary to complete the assignments. The
lesson book may suggest web sites and additional resources that you may find
necessary for the assignments.
The assignments that MUST be handed in for evaluation are called KEY QUESTIONS
and are shown as follows:
Key Question #
If you see any assignments called SUPPORT QUESTIONS, these do not need to be
submitted to the marker but they may help you understand the course material more
fully. You may wish to have a dictionary handy when you are working through the
assignments. Look up unfamiliar words in the dictionary and write their meanings in
your notebook. This way, you will have a record of the terms used in the unit and your
own vocabulary will grow.
Structure of the Lessons:
Each unit has 5 lessons and each must be completed for credit. You will begin with Unit
1 (lesson 1-5) and when you have completed this unit, you will submit your work for Unit
1 to the Learn-at-Home office for marking. The office will give you the next unit to
complete. Upon completion of Units 1 and 2, you will write a mid-term test on Units 1
and 2. When you are finished the mid-term test, you will complete Units 3 and 4. After
you have finished Units 3 and 4, you will write the final examination. In summary, the
HIR 3E course is made up of 4 units with assignments, a mid-term test and a final
examination.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Introduction
What You Must Do To Get A Credit:
In order to be granted a credit in this course, you must
1. Successfully complete the Key Questions for each unit and submit them
for evaluation within the required time frame.
2. Complete the mid-term test.
3. Complete and pass the final examination.
The evaluation will include assessment in the four categories as outlined by the Ministry
of Education (knowledge and understanding, application, research and inquiry, and
communication). The evaluation is balanced according to the divisions outlined in
Durham District School Board’s Guidelines for Grading Practices.
The weighting for the course will be as follows:
 Each unit has 5 lessons each worth 2% (total 10% per unit x 4 units = 40%)
 Midterm Test worth 30%
 Final Examination worth 30%
What You Need to Get Started:
You will need determination and self-discipline in order to complete this course. Make
sure that you have:
-
a regular time to work on your lessons,
a quiet space to work,
a dictionary and a thesaurus,
access to the internet at times
resource material relating to managing personal resources.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Introduction
LESSON OUTLINE
Unit 1: Personal Responsibilities
Lesson 1:
Lesson 2:
Lesson 3:
Lesson 4:
Lesson 5:
Self-Esteem, Self-Concept & Communication
Workplace Communication Essentials
Communication
Promoting Communication
Productive Interaction with Others
Unit 2: Preparing For The Challenges Of The Future
Lesson 6:
Lesson 7:
Lesson 8:
Lesson 9:
Lesson 10:
Decision Making and Well-Being
Managing Your Talents
Managing Your Time
Managing Your Money
You Are A Consumer
Unit 3: Socialization of Children
Lesson 11:
Lesson 12:
Lesson 13:
Lesson 14:
Lesson 15:
Planning For Employment
Personal Inventory and Employment Plan
Personal Hygiene and Positive Attitude in the Workplace
Workplace Diversity
Rights and Responsibilities in the Workplace
Unit 4: Social Challenges
Lesson 16:
Lesson 17:
Lesson 18:
Lesson 19:
Lesson 20:
Economic Trends and the Importance Of Saving
Attitudes towards Financial Arrangements
Types of Financial Institutions
Types of Bank Accounts
Working For Pay: Benefits and Costs
Note: HIP 3E is based on the Ministry of Education’s curriculum guideline, Social
Sciences and Humanities, The Ontario Curriculum, Grades 11 and 12.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Introduction
Assessment
A general assessment of the work you have completed for each unit will be based on the
following rubric.
Categories
Knowledge/
Understanding
Level 1
Level 2
Level 3
Level 4
The student:
- knowledge of facts
and terms
- demonstrates
limited knowledge
of facts and terms
- demonstrates
some knowledge of
facts and terms
- demonstrates
considerable
knowledge of facts
and terms
- demonstrates
thorough
knowledge of facts
and terms
- understanding of
concepts, principles,
and theories
- demonstrates
limited
understanding of
concepts, principles
and theories
- demonstrates
some
understanding of
concepts, principles
and theories
- demonstrates
considerable
understanding of
concepts, principles
and theories
- demonstrates
thorough and
insightful
understanding of
concepts, principles
and theories
- understanding of
relationships among
concepts, principles
and theories
- demonstrates
limited
understanding of
the relationships
among concepts,
principles and
theories
- demonstrates
some
understanding of
the relationships
among concepts,
principles and
theories
- demonstrates
considerable
understanding of
the relationships
among concepts,
principles and
theories
- demonstrates
thorough and
insightful
understanding of
the relationships
among concepts,
principles and
theories
Thinking/Inquiry
The student:
- critical and creative
thinking skills (e.g.
decision-making
skills, problemsolving skills
- uses critical and
creative thinking
skills with limited
effectiveness
- uses critical and
creative thinking
skills with some
effectiveness
- uses critical and
creative thinking
skills with
considerable
effectiveness
- uses critical and
creative thinking
skills with a high
degree of
effectiveness
- research and inquiry
skills (e.g.,
formulating
questions; selecting
strategies and
resources; analysing
and evaluating
information; forming
conclusions)
- applies few of the
skills involved in a
research/inquiry
process
- applies some of
the skills involved in
a research/inquiry
process
- applies most of
the skills involved in
a research/inquiry
process
- applies all or
almost all of the
skills involved in a
research/inquiry
process
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Categories
Level 1
Introduction
Level 3
Level 4
- communicates
information and
ideas with some
clarity
- communicates
information and
ideas with
considerable clarity
- communicates
information and
ideas with a high
degree of clarity,
and with confidence
- uses language,
symbols and
visuals with limited
accuracy and
effectiveness
- uses language,
symbols and
visuals with some
accuracy and
effectiveness
- uses language,
symbols and
visuals with
considerable
accuracy and
effectiveness
- uses language,
symbols and
visuals with a high
degree of accuracy
and effectiveness
- communication for
different audiences
and purposes
- communicates
with a limited sense
of audience and
purpose
- communicates
with some sense of
audience and
purpose
- communicates
with a clear sense
of audience and
purpose
- communicates
with a strong sense
of audience and
purpose
- use of various forms
of communication
(e.g., reports,
interviews)
Application
- application of ideas
and skills in familiar
contexts
- demonstrates
limited command of
the various forms
- demonstrates
moderate command
of the various forms
- demonstrates
considerable
command of the
various forms
- demonstrates
extensive command
of the various forms
The student:
- applies ideas and
skills in familiar
contexts with
limited
effectiveness
- applies ideas and
skills in familiar
contexts with some
effectiveness
- applies ideas and
skills in familiar
contexts with
considerable
effectiveness
- applies ideas and
skills in familiar
contexts with a high
degree of
effectiveness
- transfer of concepts,
skills, and procedures
to new concepts
- transfers
concepts, skills,
and procedures to
new contexts with
limited
effectiveness
- transfers
concepts, skills,
and procedures to
new contexts with
some effectiveness
- transfers
concepts, skills,
and procedures to
new contexts with
considerable
effectiveness
- transfers
concepts, skills,
and procedures to
new contexts with a
high degree of
effectiveness
- application of
procedures,
equipment, and
technology
- uses procedures,
equipment, and
technology safely
and correctly only
with supervision
- uses procedures,
equipment, and
technology safely
and correctly with
some supervision
- uses procedures,
equipment, and
technology safely
and correctly
- demonstrates and
promotes the safe
and correct use of
procedures,
equipment, and
technology
Application
- making connections
The student:
- makes
connections with
limited
effectiveness
- makes
connections with
some effectiveness
- makes
connections with
considerable
effectiveness
- makes
connections with a
high degree of
effectiveness
Communication
- communication of
information and ideas
The student:
- communicates
information and
ideas with limited
clarity
- use of language,
symbols, and visuals
(e.g., between personal
experiences and the
subject, between
subjects, between the
subject and the world
outside the school)
Level 2
This workplace level course is authorized under The Ontario Curriculum, Grades 11 and 12,Social Sciences and Humanities, by the Ontario Ministry of
Education.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Introduction
REFERENCES
Adams, G. & Gullotta, T. (1989). Adolescent Life Experiences. California: Brooks/Cole
Publishing.
Bolin, F. (1990). Growing Up Caring. Illinois: Glencoe.
Caughey, V. (1992). Decisions for Independent Living. Illinois: Glencoe/McGraw-Hill.
Eubanks, E., Sasse, C., & Glosson, L. (2000). Shaping Your Future. Illinois:
Glencoe/McGraw-Hill.
Holloway, M. (2003). Individuals and Families in a Diverse Society. Whitby: McGrawHill Ryerson.
Krembrell, G & Vineyard, B. (1989). Entering the World of Work. California: Glencoe.
Meriorg, E. & Holloway, M. (2001). Individual and Family Living in Canada. Toronto:
Irwin Publishing Limited.
Misener, J. & Butler, S. (2000). Horizons 2000+. Whitby: McGraw-Hill Ryerson.
Riker, A. & Brisbane, H. (1997). Married and Single Life. Illinois: Glencoe/McGrawHill.
The Ministry of Education (2000). The Ontario Curriculum – Social Sciences and
Humanities. Queen’s Printer for Ontario: Author.
http://uoleadership.uoregon.edu/tips/TimeManagement.pdf
http://www.scotiabank.com/
http://www.visasavings.ca/en/
http://www.ccra-adrc.gc.ca/menu-e.html
http://soc302.tripod.com/soc_302rocks/id6.html
http://www.helpforschools.com/sikb/tips/workplace_article_effective_interaction.shtml
http://www.mapnp.org/library/grp_skll/theory/theory.htm
http://www.interactionstyles.com/
http://www.isabellemori.homestead.com/tests.html
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Introduction
http://www.articles911.com/Problem_Solving_Skills_and_Techniques/
http://www.practicalmoneyskills.com/index.php
http://www.themint.org/index.php
http://cpsweb.columbus.k12.oh.us/centennial/chslib/teenissues.html
http://www.essortment.com/in/Finance.Budgeting/
http://www.inspiredliving.com/life/parent.htm
http://www.healthyplace.com/site/tests/psychological.asp
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HIP3E
MANAGING PERSONAL
RESOURCES
GRADE 11, WORKPLACE PREPARATION
UNIT 1 – Self and Others
Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1
Overall Expectations

demonstrate an understanding of self-concept and its role in effective
communication;

describe the role of “interpersonal intelligence” in successful relationships;

demonstrate an understanding of the elements of communication;

describe techniques that lead to effective interaction with others;

demonstrate an understanding of the basic nature of conflict and identify ways in
which conflict may be resolved.
Specific Expectations:

explain self-concept and identify the factors that influence it;

demonstrate an understanding of the importance of self-concept and its role in
effective communication (e.g., how one relates to others, one’s acceptance by
peers, one’s ability to communicate a point of view);

describe the impact of a positive self-image in the workplace;

describe the ways in which an individual might build on personal strengths and
address areas for improvement in order to form good relationships and achieve
effective communication in the workplace;

read and report on articles and advertising related to personal resource
management found in newspapers, magazines, and “how to” books.

identify different power positions in the workplace (e.g., superior, peer,
subordinate) and behaviour patterns associated with them (e.g., employer-toemployee, employee-to-employee, employee-to-employer);

demonstrate an understanding of the importance of developing rapport within
personal relationships (e.g., team members, work associates);

identify the role of initiative, persistence, and motivation on the job, and identify
when these qualities are appropriate and helpful;

describe the role of empathy in making connections with others.

identify the components of spoken communication (e.g., language level, tone of
voice, volume, cadence) and non-verbal communication (e.g., body language,
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1
appropriate contact, personal space, image projection), taking into account
cross-cultural differences.

demonstrate an understanding of active listening skills, through observation and
practice;

identify and differentiate instances of the three basic styles of communication:
passive, aggressive, assertive;

describe appropriate levels of assertiveness within interpersonal relationships.

describe the dynamics of group interaction;

identify the variety of interactions in which they are involved;

demonstrate an understanding of the nature of conflict within interpersonal
relationships;

analyze the effects of living and working in a threatening environment;

analyze appropriate models of conflict resolution as they apply to specific
workplace challenges;

record information and key ideas collected in their research, documenting the
sources accurately and using correct forms of citation.
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HIP3E
MANAGING PERSONAL
RESOURCES
Lesson 1
Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
LESSON 1:
Unit 1 – Lesson 1
SELF-ESTEEM, SELF-CONCEPT &
COMMUNICATION
Humans need a good self-concept and good self-esteem in order to
develop and function in the world.
A GIRL WITH GOALS AND VISION
Imagine that!!!
Avril Lavigne grew up in a family in small town Napanee, just west of Kingston, Ontario.
As the middle child who “always wanted to be the centre of attention”, she remembers
that she had to work very hard to pursue her goals.
Avril began singing as a youngster, trying to convince everyone who would listen that
she would one day be a major rock star. A “small town kid who couldn’t sit still in class”,
Avril had to call upon her confidence and determination to “make it big”. She started
singing gospel music in church and at festivals, she sang country music at Fall Fairs
and Talent Contests. Avril suffered many rejections and disappointments but, through
perserverance, she was discovered eventually by Arista Records in New York.
Although this was the breakthrough she needed, her efforts didn’t pay off at first. She
was determined to be a success and made the gutsy move, at age 16, to move to Los
Angeles. There she found the perfect producer/songwriter and she has never looked
back.
Avril states that even as a child who quit school early, she still had goals. Sometimes
“the days were dark” but she kept her focus on her dream and put a plan into action to
make it happen. “Everyone has a dream”, says Avril, “just take stock of yourself and go
for it!”
What are your dreams?
How might your present skills relate to that dream?
What new skills might you need to develop?
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 1
SELF IMAGE
Self-Image is the idea, conception, or mental image one has of oneself.
Self-image is how you perceive yourself. It is a number of self-impressions that have
built up over time: What are your hopes and dreams? What do you think and feel? What
have you done throughout your life and what did you want to do? These self-images
can be very positive, giving a person confidence in their thoughts and actions, or
negative, making a person doubtful of their capabilities and ideas.
Surprisingly, your self-image can be very different from how the world sees you. Some
people who outwardly seem to have it all (intelligence, looks, personal and financial
success) may have a bad self-image. Conversely, others who have had a very difficult
life and multiple hardships may also have a very positive self-image.
Some believe that a person's self-image is defined by events that affect him or her
(doing well or not in school, work, or relationships.) Others believe that a person's selfimage can help shape those events. There is probably some truth to both schools of
thought: failing at something can certainly cause one to feel bad about oneself, just as
feeling good about oneself can lead to better performance on a project. But it cannot be
denied that your self-image has a very strong impact on your happiness, and your
outlook on life can affect those around you. If you project a positive self-image,
people will be more likely to see you as a positive, capable person.
However, it's important that your self-image be both positive and realistic.
Having a self-image that is unrealistic can be a drawback, whether that selfimage is negative OR positive. Sometimes having an occasional negative
thought or criticism about oneself can encourage change, hard work, growth
and success. Sometimes having too positive an image of oneself can
encourage complacency, underachievement, and arrogance. Finding the
balance between feeling positive about oneself but having realistic goals is
important.
Define Your Self-Image: What's Your Internal Voice Saying?
It's surprising how often, and how natural, it is to judge oneself. Have you ever asked
yourself "what was I thinking?" or thought to yourself "that was stupid" when doing
something? That was your internal voice judging you. In some people that internal voice
can be too critical and harsh, leading to low self-esteem. In others, it may be so weak
that they don't notice when they are mean or insensitive to others.
Listening to your internal voice and judgments of yourself is the first step to changing
your self-image and esteem. Being aware of self-criticisms (or lack of criticisms) can
help you determine your current self-image and decide if it needs to be improved and
how.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 1
One way to gain a better understanding of your current self-image is to imagine your
reaction to certain situations. For example, if you start a beautiful morning thinking, "I
can't wait to get outside and do things!" instead of chiding yourself for not getting out of
bed, "don't be such a lazy slob; start moving", you are exhibiting a more positive internal
voice.
But sometimes it's hard not to listen to an internal voice, even when that
voice is critical. Sometimes a person passes internal judgments to protect
him or herself from potentially awkward or uncomfortable situations. For
example, telling yourself you aren't able to do something or convincing
yourself that others won't like you is a way of avoiding potential failure or
rejection. Because of this, people often put up with internal criticisms, even
though they lead to low self-esteem.
But it is possible to protect yourself without limiting yourself. For example, you could
place less importance on other's opinions of you ("so what if they don't like
me?"), or emphasize the positive ("at least I wasn't afraid to try"), or you
can practice silencing your internal voice or correct it when it exaggerates
your negative traits. It's important that when you make internal judgments
you also listen to the more rational part of yourself that can adjust for any
unreasonable criticism.
IMPROVING YOUR SELF IMAGE
Improving your self-image, like improving any skill, takes time and practice. Developing
good self-esteem involves encouraging a positive (but realistic) attitude toward yourself
and the world around you and appreciating your worth, while at the same time behaving
responsibly towards others. Self-esteem isn't self-absorption; it's self-respect. By
working from the inside out (focusing on changing your own way of thinking before
changing the circumstances around you), you can build your self-esteem. The goal of
this positive thinking is to give yourself a more positive self-concept, while seeing
yourself honestly and accepting yourself, and removing the internal barriers that can
keep you from doing your best.
Positive Thinking
There are many ways a person can change negative thoughts and self-criticism to more
realistic and positive thoughts. Focusing on all of them at once may be overwhelming,
but focusing on a few at a time and reminding yourself of these positive approaches
regularly can change your self-esteem.
Read the positive thought strategies below and choose several that would help
you most. Write them down and remind yourself to pause and change your way
of thinking each time you are being critical of yourself. As you become more
comfortable with each new way of thinking (for example, learning not to apologize or
accept blame for other's anger) try adding a new positive thought strategy to your
list.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 1
Positive Thought Strategies

Avoid exaggerations.
Correct your internal voice when it exaggerates, especially when it exaggerates
the negative. Try to avoid thinking in extreme terms ("I always make that mistake"
or "I'll never get that promotion.")

Nip negative thoughts in the bud.
Sometimes putting a stop on negative thinking is as easy as that. The next time
you start giving yourself an internal browbeating, tell yourself to "stop it!" If you
saw a person yelling insults at another person, you would probably tell them to
stop. Why do you accept that behaviour from yourself?

Accentuate the positive.
Instead of focusing on what you think are your negative qualities, accentuate your
strengths and assets. Maybe you didn't ace the test you were studying for, but
maybe your hard work and perseverance led to a better grade than you would
have had. Maybe you felt nervous and self-conscious when giving a presentation
at work, but maybe your boss and coworkers respected you for getting up and
trying.

Accept flaws and being human.
Maybe you did get nervous and blow that presentation at work - so what? Talk to
your boss about what went wrong, try to address the error in the future, and move
on. All people have flaws and make mistakes. Your boss, coworkers, friends,
family, postman, congressman, and favourite movie star have all made mistakes.
They've forgiven themselves; so can you.

Accept imperfections.
Perfection is a high goal to aim for -- you don't need to start there or even end
there. Make doing your best your ideal -- what more can you realistically do?
Focus on what you've gained from the process and how you can use it in the
future. Avoid focusing on what wasn't done or 'should have' been done differently.
Allow yourself to make mistakes and then forgive yourself. Try laughing instead of
criticizing.

Don't bully yourself!
"Should have, could have, would have…" Try not to constantly second guess
yourself, criticize yourself for what you "should" have done better, or expect too
much from yourself. Don't put standards on yourself that you wouldn't expect from
others. It's great to want to do well, but expecting yourself to be perfect (which is
impossible) and then punishing yourself when you fail is a vicious cycle. Using
expressions like "I should have" is just a way of punishing yourself after the fact.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 1

Replace criticism with encouragement.
Instead of nagging or focusing on the negative (in yourself and others),
replace your criticism with encouragement. Give constructive criticism
instead of being critical ("maybe if I tried to do ____ next time, it would
be even better" instead of "I didn't do that right.") Compliment yourself and
those around you on what you have achieved ("well, we may not have
done it all, but we did a pretty great job with what we did".)

Don't feel guilty about things beyond your control.
You are not to blame every time something goes wrong or someone has a
problem. Apologizing for things and accepting blame can be a positive quality, if
you are in the wrong and if you learn and move on. But you shouldn't feel
responsible for all problems or assume you are to blame whenever someone is
upset.

Don't feel responsible for everything.
Just as everything is not your fault, not everything is your responsibility. It's okay to
be helpful, but don't feel the need to be all things (and do all things) for all people.
This is taking too much of a burden on yourself AND limiting those around you. Let
others be responsible for themselves and their actions -- you shouldn't feel
responsible for their happiness.

Focus on what you CAN do, not what you can't.
Avoid "can't" thinking or other negative language. If you say
something often enough, you may start to believe it, so keep
your statements positive, not negative. Don't be afraid to
seek help in accomplishing things, but remind yourself that you
don't need approval from others to recognize your
accomplishments. Focus on what you're able to do. Remind
yourself of all your capabilities and positive qualities.

Do feel responsible for your feelings.
Just as you can't "make" other people happy, don't expect others to "make" you
feel happy or good about yourself. In the same way, they shouldn't make you feel
guilty or bad about yourself. You create your own feelings and make your own
decisions. People and events may have an affect on your emotions, but they can't
dictate them.
$ Treat yourself kindly.
People often feel more comfortable treating themselves in ways they wouldn't
consider treating others. Do you criticize yourself with terms like
"stupid" "ugly" or "loser"? Would you use those terms to describe
a friend? Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated as well
as you treat others. Do something nice for yourself sometimes -either in thought (give yourself a compliment) or action (treat
yourself to a nice dinner or new book.)
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 1

Give yourself a break.
You don't need to be all things to all people or please everyone. Give yourself
permission to decide you're doing the best you can. Remind yourself when you're
doing things well -- don't wait to hear it from someone else.

Choose the brighter side of things.
You can choose how to interpret comments and events, so try for the
more positive interpretations. If someone says, "You look good
today," don't ask yourself "What was wrong with the way I looked
yesterday?" Accept compliments graciously (don't ask yourself why you
haven't been complemented on something else or why you haven't complemented
you before.) Look at temporary setbacks as opportunities for growth.

Forgive and forget.
Try not to hang on to painful memories and bad feelings - this is a surefire way to
encourage negative thoughts and bad moods. Your past can control you if you
don't control it. If you can, forgive past wrongs and move on. (Don't forget that
forgiving yourself is an important part of this process, too!) If you have a hard time
forgiving or forgetting, consider talking through your emotions with a good friend or
counsellor, but try not to dwell. It's important to work through things, but you can't
let the past determine your future.
Using just one or two of the above strategies on a regular basis can greatly increase
your positive self-image and self-esteem. Making these internal changes will increase
your confidence in yourself and your willingness and ability to make external changes
and improve your life.
Self Concept and Communication
How Do You See Yourself?
Self-Concept




the picture individuals carry in their mind of who they are, what they can do &
what they are like - IMAGE OF YOURSELF
relatively stable set of perceptions (emotional states, talents, likes, dislikes,
values, roles, body image, etc.)
foundation laid by early childhood (experiences)
continually changing
How the Self-Concept Develops




Our communication with other individuals
Our association with groups
Roles we assume
Our self-labels
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
Self-Concept: Association with Groups
Our awareness of who we are is often linked to those with whom we associate:


Peer pressure is a powerful force in shaping attitudes and behaviour.
Gender asserts a powerful influence on the self-concept from birth on.
Self-Concept: Assumed Roles
Your self-concept likely reflects the roles you assume:
 mother
 brother
 teacher
 student
Support Question: Complete the following Self Image Test in your own
notebook. (Do not submit this Question)
SELF IMAGE TEST
How positive is your self-image? Answer these true or false statements and find out.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
My glass is always half-empty, not half-full.
I'm always apologizing for things.
I'm always telling myself I "should" be doing this or that.
I constantly criticize myself.
What other people think about me dictates how I feel about myself.
I am critical of my mistakes and relive them over and over.
I always let the people who care about me down.
I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
A partial failure is as bad as a complete failure.
I bend over backwards to please others.
I am not sure I have done a good job unless someone else points it out.
It's hard for me to forgive and forget.
I have to work harder than others for relationships and am afraid that the relationships I
have will fail.
14. If I don't do as well as others, it means that I am not as good as them.
15. If I can't do something well, there is no point in doing it at all.
Results: Give yourself 1 point for each question you answered with a "true".
0-4
5–8
9 or more
You have a generally positive way of thinking and should feel good about
yourself. Keep it up!
You may be struggling with some negative emotions. Take time to review
your good qualities.
You can be very critical of yourself. Challenge yourself to change your way
of thinking!
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
How Does SELF CONCEPT Develop?
1)
Reflected Appraisal
$ self concept matches the way others see us
$ throughout life your self concept is shaped by reflected
appraisal. For example, after meeting someone new you
criticize the silly giggling you did.
$ your self concept is affected by significant others in your life.
2)
Social Comparison
$ self concept is shaped by comparing ourselves to others
3)
Self-concept is influenced by culture in which we are raised
Characteristics Of The Self-Concept


Self-Concept is subjective--we may have a distorted and inaccurate view of
ourselves.
Self-Concept resists change.
Private (Inner You) and Public (Outer You) Selves
Each of us possesses several selves, some private and others public.
 “Perceived self” is the person you believe yourself to be in moments of honest selfexamination.
 “Presenting self” is the way you appear to others (public self).
AFFECTS
YOUR SELFCONCEPT
OTHER’S
REACTIONS
TO YOU
AFFECTS
AFFECTS
Copyright © 2004, Durham Continuing Education
YOUR
BEHAVIOUR
WITH OTHERS
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
COMMUNICATION
Human communication is the process of making sense out of the world and
sharing that sense with others through verbal and nonverbal messages.
Why Study Communication?



To improve your relationships
To improve your employability
To improve your physical and emotional health
Communication Characteristics





Communication is inescapable
Communication is irreversible
Communication is complicated
Communication emphasizes content and relationships
Communication is governed by rules
Communicating with Others
Interpersonal Communication
Interpersonal communication occurs when we interact with another person and there is
an attempt to influence each other.
Group and Team Communication
Groups have goals. Their members feel they belong to the group and work
toward the shared goals.
Public Communication
Public communication occurs when a speaker addresses a gathering of other people to
inform, persuade, or entertain.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 1
Key Question # 1: Self-Concept and Self-Esteem
Directions: Read your Lesson 1 notes carefully and then answer the following
questions in complete sentences. Submit your answers for evaluation.
1.
What is the difference between self-esteem and self-concept? Describe them
both.
2.
What is the difference between the “inner you” and the “outer you”?
3.
List two (2) factors in your environment which most influence the “inner you”.
4.
How has your heredity affected your self-concept?
5.
Think of someone you know who has a positive self-concept. How does that
person interact with others?
6.
What are three (3) ways in which self-concept can affect behaviour?
7.
Explain how a positive self-concept is developed.
8.
Why do some people have poor self-esteem? What could you do to boost
someone’s self-esteem?
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
Communication and Self
Engage in Positive Self-Talk




Intrapersonal communication involves communication within
yourself. This will be called “self talk”.
Your self-concept and self-esteem influence the way you talk to yourself.
Your inner dialogue also has an impact on your self-concept and self-esteem.
Self-talk is related to the building and maintaining of one’s self-concept.
Visualize


Visualization involves “seeing” yourself exhibiting some desirable behaviour.
Apprehensive public speakers can manage their fears by visualizing positive
results. This reduces negative self-talk and enhances confidence and
speaking skill.
Develop Honest Relationships

Have at least one other person that will give you honest, objective feedback.
Surround Yourself with Positive People




Surround yourself with people who have higher levels of
self-esteem.
Don’t engage in pity parties.
Immunize yourself from negativity.
Do not repeat negative comments in your self talk.
Lose Your Baggage


Avoid constantly reliving negative experiences.
Let go of past experiences that cause your present self-esteem to suffer. For
example, if you find yourself telling people about past experiences that have
made you feel bad, stop yourself and find something else to say. Perhaps
ask them a question and concentrate on their answer.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
Key Question #2: Self Help is Out There
Directions: Go to a library or bookstore. Survey the “self-help” section. Locate and list
three (3) books which provide information on how to boost self-esteem or self-concept.
Submit your discovered information for evaluation.
Include the following:
(a)
(b)
(c)
(d)
(e)
Title of the Book
Author(s)
Year of Publication
Place of Publication
Publisher
You may wish to use a chart like this one to organize your information. Just recreate or
photocopy this chart and fill in the blanks.
Title of Book:
Author(s):
Year of Publication:
Name of Publisher:
Place of Publication:
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
Support Question: Sample Self Image Situations
Directions: The best way to improve your self-image is through practice. Below are a
number of experiences you may have that require you to question your self-image. Try
practicing your responses to the situations below. You may want to ask a relative,
friend, or advisor, whom you feel has a positive self-image and confidence in you, to
listen to your responses and offer advice.
Scenario 1. Your friend has invited you to a party, which you'd really like to attend.
Unfortunately you have nothing new to wear and you haven't got the money to buy a
new outfit. Which of the following would you do?
a) Turn down the invitation.
b) Go, but know everyone realizes you couldn't afford a new outfit.
c) Think of some way to modify an old outfit and go.
d) Realize that you were invited, not your clothes, and go.
Responses:
If you chose option A, you are not only punishing yourself by turning down a fun
opportunity, but you are also placing too much emphasis on physical appearance and
others' perceptions of you. Remind yourself that a 'sparkling' personality can be far
more attractive than a new outfit.
If you chose option B, you have decided to go but are setting yourself up to have a bad
time. You're also not giving others the benefit of the doubt - they may care more about
how you behave than how you appear.
Option C is not a bad decision and shows a lot of ingenuity on your part. Congratulate
yourself on being creative, but remind yourself that appearances (and others' opinions)
aren't everything.
Option D indicates you have enough self-esteem to accept the invitation as an
indication of your self worth.
Scenario 2. The boss asks you to organize a going-away luncheon. You've never done
this before so:
a. You tell your boss you can't do it.
b. You ask you boss to pick someone else because you've never done
this before.
c. You talk to someone who has done this before and get advice.
Responses:
If you chose option A, you've given up without even trying. Not only are you limiting
yourself, but you are also limiting your opportunities. The more often you respond with a
'no', the less often you'll be asked or offered special opportunities.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
If you chose option B, you've provided an honest answer. This is good, but you've also
foregone a chance to improve your relationship with your boss and his or her
confidence in you. It's fine to admit that you don't have a specific skill, but you can make
this admission positive by showing your boss you have initiative and are eager to learn.
Instead of recommending someone else, you may want to say "I've never done this
before, but I'd love to try and will read up on it and get advice from someone who has"
or "I'm not sure I know how to do this, but would like to learn; maybe Mr. X (a co-worker
with more experience) and I can work on this together."
Option C is another sensible approach. If, after getting the advice, you still think you
can't undertake the assignment, you at least can go back to your boss, showing him or
her that you've made an effort to learn.
Scenario 3. Your class assignment from the night before is due, but you weren't able to
figure out some of the answers. You:
a.
b.
c.
d.
Copy your neighbour's work.
Skip class.
Don't hand in the assignment.
Hand in what you have done with an explanation that, although you
tried, you weren't able to answer all of the questions and ask for an
appointment so your teacher can help you.
Responses:
Neither A, B nor C are good reasons for not turning in your assignment. Worse, option
A is cheating! If you chose any of the first three options, you have not focused on the
real problem: you didn't understand the assignment. This is no reflection on your
capabilities. Everyone has difficulties at certain times or with certain subjects, but you
are limiting yourself even more by not addressing the problem and learning how to
handle it in the future.
Option D shows your teacher that you have made your best effort but still are having a
problem. Most teachers will understand this. The purpose of class assignments is to
'test' your understanding of what you are learning before you are actually tested and
your teacher is there to help. You may just need one-on-one time to ask questions that
weren't answered in class, or maybe you need to review the lesson again or walk
through the exercises with your teacher.
Scenario 4. You are behind on bills so you decide to use a credit card to pay them.
When you discover you're still behind on bills the following month, you decide to use
another credit card. Eventually you're behind on all your bills and cards, so you:
a. See if you can get another credit card.
b. Borrow money from family and friends.
c. Seek advice from a financial advisor or consumer group about how to
create a budget, consolidate your debt, and pay it off.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
Responses:
If you chose option A, you are just making your financial difficulties worse! Anyone can
have financial problems, but "covering them up" by using credit cards with high interest
rates is just going to make you deeper in debt. The first thing you should do is put yourself
on a budget and pay off your credit cards. You may also need to get a loan or work out a
payment plan with some of your creditors. Don't be ashamed to admit that you need to work
within a budget - this is far more financially responsible than pretending that you don't. You'll
be surprised at how understanding and helpful many financial institutions and corporations
can be: they'd rather work with you to get their money back than 'punish' you.
If you chose option B, you are admitting you need help, which is good, but be sure you
don't use this loan as a band-aid. You still need to address the cause (why you can't pay
your bills), not just the immediate problem. Again, you may need to put yourself on a budget
and be sure that your budget includes setting aside money to pay back that loan (or for
future emergencies.)
Option C is probably the best option. Although it may be difficult to admit to others (or
yourself) that you need financial help, advice from experts can be invaluable. Even people
who don't have financial difficulties often seek expert advice on getting the most from their
money. An honest and responsible approach can save your reputation and lead to wellearned esteem. It can also lead to a debt-free and even profitable future!
Scenario 5. A close relative is always criticizing your job, which you happen to enjoy
and pays your bills, you:
a. Get a new job that your relative approves of so that he will leave you
alone.
b. Start to question if your job is right for you.
c. Repeatedly make excuses to your relative about why you're keeping
the job.
d. Ask your relative to explain why he hates your job and address his
concerns. If the criticism continues, you ask him to keep it positive or
withhold it altogether.
Responses:
If you chose option A, B, or C, you are placing too much emphasis on what your relative
thinks is important, not what you think is important. If you are happy with your job, if your
coworkers treat you well, and if your job meets your financial needs, you are already luckier
than most! Don't let groundless criticisms make you question your own judgment. If, on the
other hand, a nagging voice in your head (not your relative's), says that there is some truth
to the criticism, you might want to ask yourself why you are staying with your job.
Option D shows self-confidence in your judgment and a willingness to defend it. It also
shows a respect for others' beliefs. By taking the time to listen to and address your relative's
criticisms, you are not only being open to new ideas but also showing him that you respect
his beliefs. Taking the time to listen and respond may be enough to stop future criticisms. If
it's not, you have every right (and the confidence) to ask him to stop.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
Key Question #3: My Good Day
Imagine a really good day AT WORK or AT SCHOOL. Things are looking up. You feel
good about yourself. Write a paragraph to respond to the following questions. Submit
the paragraph for evaluation.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
f.
Describe your day.
What specifically is going right in your life?
How do you feel about yourself?
What have you done to make this happen?
What can you do to make this day happen?
Give five (5) of the “Positive Thought Strategies” from your Lesson Book that you
can use to make this day happen.
g. What choices or decisions do you need to make?
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
SELF-IMAGE IN THE WORKPLACE
You play a huge part in your happiness, and you can greatly increase it
by taking action and changing your attitude toward yourself. You are
responsible for yourself. Your happiness (or your misery) depends in a
great part upon what you tell yourself, how you treat yourself, and how
you interpret your world.
Believe in yourself and believe that you are capable of handling life's
problems.
It's okay to fail, but not to keep thinking you are a failure. You need to boost your
self-image if you want to succeed, say training consultants.
"I think I can, I think I can", goes the refrain from the popular children's story, The Little
Red Engine. Despite having to carry a heavy load up a steep hill, the engine believed
he could do it and his sheer determination saw him succeed. But what about those
whose engine capacity is inadequate or when the hill is too steep? When faced with
impossible odds, belief alone is not always good enough if you don't have the hardware
to go with it. Research has shown that simply trying to emotionally charge yourself up to
achieve a goal will not guarantee long-term success.
What Leads to Success?
Ever wondered why kids have so much energy? When you watch your
children learn tennis, you will be continually amazed to see just how many
times they can miss the balls but still want to try again. The champions are
those who can pick themselves up quickly and keep going even after having
failed. They have the ability to manage mistakes effectively. Many people
would say that failure is due to a lack of desire or talent. But desire and
talent do not guarantee success. A pessimistic outlook and negative "selftalk" may paralyze the decision-making abilities of some individuals,
which in turn can lead to feelings of helplessness. The missing ingredient can be
optimism.
All of us have habitual ways of explaining good and bad events, which often stem from
how we see the world and our place in it - whether we think we are deserving or
worthless. Some people have ways of explaining events to themselves that give hope.
Failure makes everyone at least temporarily helpless, but some people have the ability
to bounce back, which helps them achieve more in their work and their relationships.
Good health, high achievement, a long life have been attributed to an optimistic
mindset.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 1
Key Question #4: How is Your Self Image at This Moment?
To check up on your self-image at this moment, answer these questions in full
sentences. Submit your answers for evaluation.
1. Are you satisfied with the way you relate to others?
2. Do you generally like the results of the decisions you make?
3. Are you comfortable with your present environment? If your answers happens
to be no, do you have some specific, realistic plans for changing it?
4. What are challenges in your life that keep you on your toes, that excite and
motivate you?
5. What things about yourself you would like to change?
6. Explain why is it important to have a positive self-image.
7. Explain what aspects of your life seem to be beyond your control.
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HIP3E
MANAGING PERSONAL
RESOURCES
Lesson 2
Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
LESSON 2:
Unit 1 – Lesson 2
WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION ESSENTIALS
WORKPLACE COMMUNICATION
Whether you own your own business, or work at Tim Hortons, you need to
collaborate with others in order to do your work. You need to communicate,
and communicate well. The value of skillful communication can be seen in
the most extraordinary groups and individuals, who go beyond basic number
chasing to excel in ways that lend a deeper mystique and meaning to their
work.
Yes, workplaces are filled with stories of poor communications from managers, leaders,
or employees who get shuffled around from one post to another. No one wants the
unpleasant job of holding them accountable for their poor social skills. Indeed, surveys
show that poor communication is one of the root causes for workplace stress, higher
absenteeism, and people leaving their jobs.
But just because there are many mediocre performers, do you really want to be one? In
some cases, following the pack is really just the lazier and less desirable option. While
greater mastery has its demands, the fruits of those labours include better relationships,
less stress, deeper meaning, greater satisfaction, higher confidence, fewer
miscommunications and misunderstandings, and more. Aren't these worth putting in a
little bit more effort?
Essentials for Effective Workplace Communication
• Listen well. Skilful listening makes other people feel heard. It
also ensures that you're getting authentic, good quality
information and are making deeper and more positive
connections with others. Poor listening happens often, and results
in miscommunications, misunderstandings, and other mishaps.
• Speak clearly. Ums, ahhs, errs, uh-hmmms, and other poor
habits make it difficult for people to understand what it is you're
trying to communicate. This includes speaking too quickly (or
speaking too slowly or softly. Try to relax your voice, take a deep
breath, hold a positive thought and say what you're trying to say.
• Think creatively. Do you think? It's a weird question, to be
sure, but it's amazing how often people don't think — they just
DO or follow without putting any updated thought into their doing or following. Asking
questions, among other things, is one great way to stimulate creative thinking. For
example, you can ask, does my approach to do this need to be updated? Have I
fallen into a rut? What other solutions are possible for this problem? How else
could I be seeing this?
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
• Be receptive. Be open to what others are saying or offering, consider potential
solutions that might be just on the other side of your perception. Often, you might
restrict the flow of ideas or communication, or just make yourself feel unnecessarily
tense or anxious, because you're making too many assumptions or are being too quick
to judge and criticize. Allow yourself the pleasure of increased receptivity.
• Inquire skilfully. Asking good questions is a facet of skilful listening and creative
thinking. Skilful inquiry is different from interrogation, where you're basically grilling
someone in order to dismantle a belief or idea that you don't agree with. Skilful inquiry is
also different from making statements that have question marks on the end, such as
"You don't really believe that?" You inquire because you want to learn more, and by
learning more you are enriched.
• Stay relaxed. Have you ever spoken with someone who was very
preoccupied or agitated? This is very difficult as they cannot listen
actively. Stress and tension must be relaxed in order to allow you to be
more skilful and effective in your communication. Choose whatever
strategies appeal to you to help you stay relaxed.
• Be mindful. This is a lovely way of saying, "Pay attention!" It can be downright
frightening when someone isn't paying attention to where they're driving. But it's also
annoying if you don't pay attention when you're speaking with someone. “Cultivating
mindfulness” is simply learning to pay attention to what you're doing.
• Have intention. What's your intention? You can ask yourself this question when
you're starting a project or task, getting ready to go to a meeting, or starting a
conversation or responding to something someone has said or done. You can also ask
this question of someone else, as in, "What is your intention for involving me in this
project?" or "What was your intention for saying that?" Knowing your intention, and
understanding someone else's intention, will help you be more conscious of what you're
doing or saying something — which means you'll be able to be more effective and
skilful.
• Be genuine. Being genuine can include speaking honestly, being friendly,
saying "no" when you feel like saying "no," or expressing excitement or
sadness or sympathy when you feel it. It might mean admitting, "No, I don't
really agree with that," or "You know, I think you've changed my mind!" Being
authentic or genuine doesn't give you license to be rude or lacking in
compassion, however. "I was just being honest" isn't a good excuse for being
hurtful. By increasing your interpersonal communication capabilities, you'll feel
more confident.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
Key Question #5: You’re Hired
Directions: Read the case study below and complete the task that follows.
Simone and Ashish began working at a sports store at the same time. Both young
people have very good sales records and get along well with other employees.
When the assistant manager’s position became available, Simone immediately applied
for it, presenting her reasons why she could do the job well. Ashish thought that the
manager would ask him to apply because of his good performance and when the
manager said nothing, Ashish put in his application at the last minute.
The duties of the assistant manager include marketing and sales, stock control, banking
of receipts and supervision of employees.
If you were the manager, which employee would you promote given the information
described above and the criteria listed below?
For each statement given below, indicate if the statement is positive (+), negative (-) or
neutral (0). Then choose one of the two employees for the position of assistant
manager.
SIMONE
ASHISH
Often works through coffee break
Is always prompt in returning from lunch
Has excellent taste in clothes and is very
fashion-conscious
Is very well organized
Has an excellent rapport with customers
Has a few close friends
Prefers small groups of people over a
large group
Considers her job the most important thing
in her life right now
Sings in the church choir
Seems reluctant to speak up at staff
meetings
Has an above-average knowledge of the
products
Has two years of university education
Is willing to work overtime
Has a steady boyfriend; the relationship
appears to be leading towards marriage
Loves children
Is a member of a small investment club
Is sometimes late returning from lunch
Occasionally takes longer coffee breaks
Has a wide circle of friends who often drop
in to the store
Has a neat appearance
Coaches little league hockey
Is a member of a local service club
Has no plans for marriage at this point in his
career
Tends to be disinterested in paperwork
Is considered a sensible, responsible citizen
Is studying marketing management at night
school
Is reluctant to work overtime because of his
studies and community involvement
Is very outgoing with most people
His father is a personal friend of the store
owner (who is not the manager)
Displays natural leadership skills
Graduated from Grade 12 with Honours
Complete the following questions, in sentence form, based on your evaluation.
1. Which employee would you hire for the position of assistant manager? Why?
2. Which employee would you not hire for the position of assistant manager? Why?
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
Improving Your Workplace Communication
THE BOTTOM LINE: Following common-sense guidelines for better
communication in the workplace can improve your work relationships
immeasurably.
If you're drowning in a sea of difficult relationships at work, take a look at your
communication skills. Communication is the glue that holds an organization together.
You can learn new communication skills and improve your work relationships by
following these essential seven C's of communication.
(1)
CONTACT
There's a good reason companies send people throughout the country meeting
potential clients, even though salespeople could communicate with them by email, telephone or teleconferencing. People relate better to a person when they
meet face to face. You can get instant feedback when reading the person's
body language.
(2)
COMMONALITY
Get to know the people you work with by sharing personal experiences or interests. For
example ask them about their families, what enjoy doing in their spare time, what's the
best vacation they ever had or whether they have any pets. You will soon begin to see
your co-workers as complex people, not just computer programmers, salespeople, or
administrative assistants. This personal connection will make you feel happier at work.
(3)
COURTESY
Being courteous lets people know you care. You can instantly improve your
relationships with co-workers by thanking them for their help. The
number one thing people want is to be appreciated. And when you need
something done, it's better to ask for cooperation than command it. Ask
“Would you please answer the phone?” instead of saying “Answer the
phone.”
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
(4)
Unit 1 – Lesson 2
CONSISTENCY
Consistency is created when you match your words with your tone of voice
and your body language. For example, when you say, "That's a great idea"
with a smile and excitement in your voice, you appear as if you really
mean it because you are consistent in your message. But if you say the
same phrase with sarcasm and a frown, your message is mixed and may
come across as critical and ridiculing. It would be better to honestly say, "I
see some problems in using your idea."
(5)
CLARITY
Don't assume people understand everything you say. It is your responsibility to make
sure. Ask someone, "Did I explain this clearly? Do you have any questions?"
(6)
COMPROMISE
While nobody likes the tension of conflict, conflict opens the door to exploring other
options and new ideas. Not everyone may agree on a solution, but people won't take
the conflict personally if you focus on what's best for the company. This allows everyone
to compromise without creating ill will.
(7)
CONFIDENCE
When you believe in what you say, when it comes from your heart, your inner
confidence will shine, and you will have the courage to deal with difficult situations as
they arise.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 2
GETTING ALONG WITH YOUR EMPLOYER
Most employers want to see the following traits in their
workers:
(1)
Ability to Understand and Follow Directions
Do exactly what you boss tells you.
 1st step is to listen carefully
 2nd step is to make sure you understand the directions
 3rd step is to follow the directions carefully
(2)
Cooperation
Means working together well with other people.
Includes doing YOUR part to get the job done.
(3)
Dependability
Means that others can count on you.
Part of being dependable is always being at work when you are supposed to be
there. It also includes getting the job done that has been asked of you.
(4)
Initiative
Means doing work without being told.
Workers with initiative are called self-starters.
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(5)
Unit 1 – Lesson 2
Eagerness to Learn
Employers like workers who are eager to learn.
Being eager means showing you want to learn.
(6)
Enthusiasm
If you are eager to learn, you will likely show
enthusiasm. Enthusiasm means being excited
about what you do.
(7)
Loyalty
There may be some things you do not like about the company you work for. But
as long as you work there, be loyal to the company. Do not speak badly about
the company. If you cannot be loyal, get another job.
(8)
Honesty
Employers want their workers to be honest in all their work. Be honest with your
boss. Deal honestly with your co-workers and they will trust you.
(9)
Ability to Accept Criticism
Criticism is an explanation of what you are doing wrong. Most people do not like
to be criticized. But on the job, criticism can be helpful. It helps you know what
your employer expects of you.
Kirk works at a home fashion store. He cleans and moves the larger
pieces of furniture. When Kirk was hired, Mr. Pinder told him he wanted
a fast worker. He had fired the last worker because he moved too
slowly.
Kirk worked as fast as he could. He finished one job then almost ran to
the next. One day he was moving a large table. Kirk did not see an
expensive lamp. The table hit the lamp and sent it crashing to the floor.
Kirk knew he would get into trouble. Mr. Pinder was upset, but he did not
fire Kirk. He just said that Kirk was moving too fast in trying to do a good
job. He suggested Kirk slow down a bit and try to be more careful. Kirk
said he was sorry for breaking the lamp. He did thank Mr. Pinder for his
advice.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
Key Question #6: Employer-Employee Case Studies
The purpose of this activity is to make you aware of some typical problems in employeremployee relationships so that you will be better prepared to handle similar problems in
the future.
Directions: Below and on the next few pages are several case studies involving
employer-employee relationships. Read each case study carefully, then answer
the questions following it.
Jessie was ticket agent for a local movie theatre. Because Jessie was new to
this job, Mr. Smiles, his employer, decided to test his honesty. He put an extra
$5 in the cash register to see what Jessie would do about it. When the evening
accounting turned out $5 over, Jessie decided to keep the $5 for himself,
although he could have recorded the $5 in the cash short and over account. As
a result, Mr. Smiles fired him and said that if Jessie would take a small amount
now, he might take a larger amount later.
1. Do you think Jessie was dishonest? Explain.
2. If you were Jessie’s employer would you have fired him? Why or why not?
A number of customer complaints were made to the manager of a donut store
about the poor service of the salespeople. Most of the complaints mentioned
situations taking place during the morning rush hour, between 8 and 9 a.m.
Since the experienced sales clerks were allowed to choose their breaks, most
of them went on break between 8 and 9 a.m. This left the newer, less
experienced people to handle the customers during that period.
Customer traffic was usually quite heavy from 8 to 9 a.m., so the manager
made some changes in the store’s break policy. He decided that there would
be at least 7 employees on the floor during that hour each day. He also
decided that everyone had to take their break between 7 and 8 a.m. or 9 and
10 a.m.
Brenda had been taking her break at 8 a.m. ever since she had started work in
the store three years ago. She usually had her break with a friend who had to
take her break at that time, so Brenda continued to take her break at 8 a.m.
even though the manager had forbidden this. The manager noticed what
Brenda was doing. He warned her that if it occurred again she would be fired.
Brenda, felt she had earned the right to an 8 a.m. break, and that the manager
was unfair.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
3. Did Brenda have a right to continue taking an 8 a.m. break? Why or why not?
4. Could this disagreement have been avoided? If so, how?
5. What could have been done to solve this disagreement once it did take place?
Natoya was a data clerk for a large employment agency. She had a new
computer and printer. Due to the large number of print jobs Natoya does each
day she needs to change the ink cartridge every few days. She always asked
one of the other people in the office to change the cartridge for her. The
others soon began to resent this. Natoya was unwilling to learn how to
change the printer cartridge.
6. If you had been Natoya’s employer, what, if anything, would you have done
about her failure to learn how to change a printer cartridge?
Sameer was a spreadsheet analyst for an accounting firm. His employer gave
him directions on how to type the charts for each job. Sometimes Sameer
changed the format slightly, thinking his way was better, only to have the work
come back to be re-done. After Sameer spent two days retyping a piece of
work, his employer warned him that if her failed to follow directions again, he
would be fired.
7. Suppose Sameer’s way was actually better. Should he still have done it his
way? Why or why not?
The “Great Home Improvement Center” hired Kallum on a part-time basis.
Kallum stacked lumber, made deliveries and assisted other workers wherever
needed. He did not usually know ahead of time what his duties would be for a
particular day. He was given directions about what he was supposed to do
each afternoon when he reported for work. One day he finished stacking
some lumber early in the afternoon, as his boss told him to take the rest of the
day off. The next day Kallum did not show-up for work at all. When he came
in on the following afternoon, the boss told Kallum he was fired. It seemed
that on the previous morning the “Center” had made a lot of sales that were to
be delivered that afternoon. Since Kallum didn’t show up or call in, the
manager hired another person to make the deliveries.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
8. What the manager unfair to Kallum?
9. Suppose Kallum was absent because he was ill. What could he have done to
save his job?
Jayson worked at Greg’s Garage. He was very slow in doing brake jobs for
customers. When his boss tried to show him how to do it faster, Jayson
refused to listen. He said that his way was the best way, even if it was slower.
Jayson showed a similar attitude about other jobs around the garage. He was
always insisting on doing things his way. Because of his unwillingness to be
flexible, Jayson was eventually fired.
10. Could Jayson’s boss have done anything to make Jayson a more productive
worker? What would you have done if you had been the boss?
Justin was a checker in a large grocery store. He was a good worker, very
dependable and never late for work. However, Justin made at least one
mistake a day on his cash register receipts because he tried ringing up
groceries too quickly. To explain his errors, Justin left notes in his cash
register. The manager soon became tired of this, so he decided to speak to
Justin about it. The manager suggested that Justin slow down a little and try
to be more accurate. Justin became very upset and quit his job.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
GETTING ALONG WITH CO-WORKERS
Do you like some people more than others? Why do you choose some people for your
friends? Why do you choose not to become friends with others?
But you do not pick your co-workers. Your boss does. So you may not like some of the
people you work with. Some of them may even be hard to get along with. Yet it is
important that you get along with everyone on the job. You and your co-workers must
work well together.
Tips for Getting Along with Co-Workers:
Cooperation
Try hard to cooperate with your co-workers. It is easier to work with someone who is
cooperative. Cooperation makes getting the job done easier and more enjoyable.
Dependability
Workers feel better if they know they can depend on you to be at work. They like
you to do your fair share of the work.
Enthusiasm
You are most pleasant and fun to work with if you are enthusiastic.
Loyalty
Be loyal to your company, your boss and your co-workers. Do not say bad
things about your co-workers. If they tell you something in confidence, keep
the secret.
Fairness
Treat everyone fairly. Do not play favourites. You will expect your co-workers to treat
you fairly.
Friendliness
You do not have to be close friends with co-workers. Yet everyone likes people who
are friendly. It is easier to get along with your co-workers if you are friendly.
Self-Respect
You are happier when you respect yourself. This is important because having selfrespect helps you do better work.
Respect for Others
Respect for others is showing them you think they are worthy. Your co-workers will like
you when you treat them with respect. Make them feel worthy. You will all get along
well on the job.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
Understanding and Empathy
A person who cares about other people understands them. If you know why other
people feel and act as they do, you understand them better. You may not feel the same
way, but if you have empathy, you can accept their feelings. When someone shares a
problem, just listen. Show your interest and concern. Listening tells the other person
that you care. You may want to talk about a similar problem of your own. But this may
not help your co-worker.
Sense of Humour
Do you know someone who never thinks anything is funny? Compare that person with
someone who laughs a lot. Which of these people has more fun?
Which one would you rather work with? It is easy to be around a
person who has a good sense of humour. A good sense of humour
brings you many benefits. Enjoying the funny side of life is relaxing
and you will have less illness. You will be happier and healthier. A
good sense of humour makes getting along on the job easier too.
Ashlee and Monika both have a sense of humour. They look for the funny things in
life. They laugh a lot. They like going to funny movies. They both enjoy friendly
jokes on others. But Ashlee never thinks jokes on her are very funny. If others
laugh, she often gets angry. Monika sees the humour even when the joke is on her.
Everyone enjoys Monika.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
Key Question #7: Keeping a Job
Directions: The way you handle yourself on a job can affect your success as an
employee as well as your chances of keeping a job. After reading the passage
below, answer the questions about the employees at Sheriton’s Car Dealership.
Sheriton’s Car Dealership has been in business for a long time.
Employees have come and gone, some by choice and some not. When
Tim Sheriton adds to his staff, he looks for the right kind of person, but it
isn’t always easy to tell. It usually takes a while to discover whether or not
a person will fit in and be a contributor.
Maurice has worked as a salesperson for Tim for over 20 years. The
sales award plaques that cover the walls in his small office are evidence of
Maurice’s success. Maurice decided early in his career that he would
never knowingly sell a car that had problems. Whenever a customer has
complaints, Maurice follows through to provide satisfaction. In earlier
years, Maurice worked long, hard hours. He felt that he needed to build a
reputation and a solid core of customers who would keep returning to buy
from him. Now Maurice is able to put in fewer hours, although he still
works hard to be successful.
At Sheriton’s there are a couple of salespeople who envy Maurice’s
success. Jody has worked there for two years. He gets along well with
the other employees. His sales record is satisfactory, but not outstanding.
Often he pressures customers to buy, which makes some of them feel
uncomfortable. Jody puts in his time but tries not to overdo it. He feels he
shouldn’t have to work any more than Maurice does to be successful.
Brad shares this attitude. Brad is new on the job and looks to Jody for
advice. Often the two are deep in conversation while a customer waits to
be helped.
When Brad was hired, Diana was too. The two present a real contrast to
customers. Diana is a quiet listener. She has much to learn about cars,
but she realizes that, and she digs to learn more. When Brad is unsure
about something, he makes up an answer or talks around the situation.
He is a very good talker. Diana avoids Brad whenever possible, because
she gets tired of listening to him. His conversations usually include
something negative about Tim and Maurice anyways. Besides that, Diana
feels that Brad is always trying to stir up trouble between employees. Her
goal is to work hard in order to become a good salesperson, so she has
little time or interest in gossip and employee differences.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
1. Why do you think Maurice has been a successful employee?
2. Why do you think Jody has kept his job at Sheriton’s?
3. List words that describe Brad. How would you evaluate him as an employee?
4. List words that describe Diana. How would you evaluate her as an employee?
5. If you were Tim, would you let any employees go? If so, who and why?
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
PROBLEMS WITH OTHERS AT THE WORKPLACE
You may know some people who are hard to get along with. Some people even like to
make trouble.
How to Avoid Problems with Others at the Workplace:
#1 Admit Your Mistakes
Do you know someone who will never admit a mistake? Many people are like that.
Trying to cover up mistakes can lead to arguments. It will certainly prevent others from
trusting you. So admit when you make a mistake. Others will respect you. Admitting
you made a mistake may even gain understanding and sympathy from your co-workers
and boss. After all, no one is perfect. Try never to make the same mistake again.
Nabeel and Ahmed were hired as waiters. They were both very courteous. But once
in a while they had trouble getting customers’ orders right. So they made some
mistakes.
Nabeel never admitted his mistakes. He would always say “That’s what the customer
ordered.” Ahmed was quick to admit his mistakes and say that he was sorry.
One day both young men made some mistakes on orders. One customer became
angry with Nabeel because he said that she had ordered something different. The
boss fired Nabeel on the spot. But Ahmed said he was sorry he had made a mistake.
He took the order back to the kitchen. The customer told him that is was all right.
She understood. Ahmed kept his job.
#2 Learn to Work Alone
Sometimes you will be expected to work alone. If you do, work quietly and
do not bother other workers about it. Do not ask unnecessary questions.
Let them do their own jobs.
#3 Learn to Give Clear Directions
Being able to give directions can be as important as being able to follow directions.
After you work awhile, you may have to give directions to new workers. You will want
them to understand you. Listen to how others give directions and you can learn how to
give clear directions.
#4 Avoid Practical Jokes
Practical jokes are seldom funny. Sometimes they embarrass a person. Sometimes
they hurt another person. They nearly always cause bad feelings. Do not risk causing
bad feelings.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
#5 Avoid Gossip
Gossip is talk about others. It is most often about personal things. Sometimes it is true,
sometime not. Gossip spreads rumours. If you hear a rumour at work, do not pass it
on. Do not listen to gossip. Change the subject if a co-worker starts to gossip. Avoid
those who always talk about others. If people notice you talking with a gossip, they may
think you are one, too.
#6 Avoid being Nosy
Stay out of other people’s business. Do not ask personal questions. When others want
to tell you about their personal lives, they will.
#7 Respect Company Property
Some people do not care about things that belong to others. They may write on school
desks or waste company supplies. Make it a habit to respect the property of others.
Your boss will notice your good attitude. He or she knows that taking care of things
saves money. You co-workers will appreciate your actions too. They do not want to
clean up after you!
#8 Control Your Emotions
Emotions are strong feelings. Love and anger are emotions. So is the hurt feeling you
get when someone lets you down. Everyone has these feelings. Some people show
them more than others. Do not let your anger determine how you act. Learn ways to
control your anger. Try to solve the problem so it will not happen again.
#9 Avoid Arguments
When workers give their opinions, they say what they think. They help each other come
up with new ideas. Discussion can lead to better ways of doing things. Discussion
requires you to listen and try to understand the other’s point of view. If you do not listen
but keep pushing your point of view you are arguing. It solves nothing.
#10 Learn How to Compromise
People often disagree and that is alright. But there are times when it is important to
agree. One way is to compromise. Compromise means that both people give in a little.
No one gets his or her own way. Both people must have a chance to say how they feel.
Then they must think about the other person’s feelings. Both must
change a little. That is what compromise is all about.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
Key Question #8: Co-Worker Case Studies
The purpose of this activity is to make you aware of some typical problems in
relationships between co-workers so that you will be better prepared to handle similar
problems in the future.
Directions: Below and on the next few pages are several case studies involving
relationships between co-workers. Read each case study carefully, then answer
the questions following it. After you have completed this, you should have a
good idea of how to develop and maintain good relationships with all your coworkers.
Jolla began her first job as an assembler in a large manufacturing firm. Laura,
one of the other assemblers, was especially friendly to Jolla. They began to
spend all their coffee breaks together. Laura was a gossip, and everyone
knew it. Although Jolla did not gossip, she listened to Laura talk about
everyone else in the department. Jolla soon noticed that many of the workers
were beginning to be very cool and distant toward her, which was exactly the
way they treated Laura.
1. If you were Jolla, how would you have handled your relationship with Laura
and with the other workers in the department?
Wilson, like everyone else, likes to receive a pat on the back for a job well
done; however, the supervisor in his department seldom makes favourable
remarks about Wilson’s work. Gordie is very careful about every detail of his
work and he received many compliments from the supervisor. Gordie takes
the compliments well and is not resented by the other employees. It is difficult
for Wilson to stand by silently and see Gordie getting so much praise. After
watching the supervisor compliment Gordie for doing a fine job on a difficult
project, Wilson said to Gordie, “I suppose you think all the praise will get you a
raise.” Gordie looked up, said nothing, and continued his work. Wilson went
on, “Too good to talk with me, eh? Now that you and the boss are so buddybuddy, I guess you can’t associate with the rest of us.”
2. What is the reason for Wilson’s behaviour?
3. If you were Gordie and wanted to avoid an argument what would you do or
say?
4. How can you accept a compliment and still maintain good relationships with
your co-workers?
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Unit 1 – Lesson 2
T-Sean is enrolled in an apprentice education program. Each morning he
attends a work-related class and in the afternoon he works in a clothing store.
One day last week he learned how to install the tape in the cash register. The
next day he heard one of the clerks say that the cash register was not working
properly. Another clerk attempted to fix the machine but was unsuccessful.
“I’ll just wait until the manager returns from lunch,” said the first clerk.
T-Sean approached the two clerks and said, “I think I can fix it”.
One of them remarked, “What do you know about cash registers?”
Annoyed by the remark and feeling confident of his ability to fix the machine,
T-Sean said, “I’ll show you how to fix it!” He pushed his way in front of the
salesclerks, opened the cash register side panel, rethreaded the machine, and
punched in the “no sale” key. The machine operated properly, and the receipt
came out. T-Sean, feeling he had proven a point, walked back to his own
work area without saying a word.
5. How might this situation affect T-Sean’s future on this job?
Key Question #9: Interpersonal Intelligence Review
Complete the following questions, in sentence format, based on the information you
have read in Lesson 2. Submit your answers for evaluation.
1. List ten (10) ways to avoid problems with others at the workplace.
2. List ten (10) tips for getting along with co-workers.
3. List nine (9) traits most employers want to see in their workers.
4. List and describe (in your own words) the Seven “C’s” of Communication
5. What should you do if your boss told you to do a certain task and you did
not know how?
6. What should you do if an angry customer began shouting at you?
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HIP3E
MANAGING PERSONAL
RESOURCES
Lesson 3
Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 3
LESSON 3: COMMUNICATION
COMMUNICATION - DEFINED
Communication - the exchange of information, thoughts & feelings


two-way process that involves both sending & receiving messages
spoken or written words, facial expressions, or gestures are all vital parts of
this process
THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS
(1)
(2)
(3)
a message sender (provides the information)
a message receiver (observes or listens to the information, forms an
impression and may offer a response or reaction)
understandable message
Message
Interpretation
Sender
Receiver
Feedback
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
HOW DO PEOPLE COMMUNICATE?
Verbal Communication


uses spoken or written words
with words you can communicate facts, points of view, feelings
and explanations
1.
Word Choice - words alone do not convey the same meaning
 sometimes words imply expectations
2.
Tone of Voice - the way you present a message is just as important
as the words themselves
"I'm having a wonderful day"
"You are a great friend"


voice tone can be an effective tool
make sure that the tone you use conveys the message you want to
send
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
For each of the following phrases, emphasize the bolded word. Note
how the message takes on a slightly different focus in each case.
WHAT do you want me to do?
What DO you want me to do?
What do YOU want me to do?
What do you WANT me to do?
What do you want ME to do?
What do you want me TO do?
WHAT do you want me to DO?
3.
Silence - saying nothing conveys a message
 at a time of loss or sadness no words may be best
 sometimes excitement or shock makes a person speechless
 when you listen without saying a word you may let the person know
you are listening
4.
Written Messages - the appearance of a written message will affect
the reader
 a neat, handwritten message on fine paper conveys more sincere
caring than a pencilled note on a page torn from a yellow legal pad
 a love letter typed on business stationary appears cold &
impersonal
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION





small talk - greetings "How's it going?"
sharing facts - describing what your day was like
sharing ideas - offering suggestions
sharing emotions - voicing your feelings
peak communication - highest level of communication
 communication is honest & mutually fulfilling
 "special moments" rare
 heart-to-heart talks
ATTITUDES FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
For successful communication you need:


sense of responsibility - own ideas and feelings
empathy – try to understand another's point of view
Non-verbal Communication
Messages are sent in visible ways
1.
Body Language - using facial expressions & movement of the head, arms,
hands & body to convey messages
- common form of non-verbal communication involving facial
expressions, gestures & body motions
- non-verbal messages can reinforce or contradict what you say
FACIAL EXPRESSIONS - communicate a wide range of emotions
- looking directly at someone with a pleasant expression shows
interest
- dull, bored expression = not interested
- raised eyebrow = questioning
- frown = disagree or do not approve
GESTURES – may help an individual emphasize their spoken words
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
BODY MOTIONS – the way you sit, stand or walk conveys messages to
others
- sitting forward in your chair = alert & listening
- slouching = disinterested
- crossing legs = relaxed feeling
- crossing your arms, turning away or stepping back during
conversation = barriers
- firm handshake = confidence
What do you think the following messages convey?
o thumping fingers on the table
o folded arms along the chest
o swinging legs while mom is talking
o finger to the lips
2.
Dress - clothing conveys a message about the wearer:
police = uniform
construction worker = hard hat
What does your clothing convey?
3.
Grooming - physical appearance and personal hygiene
contribute to impression:
neat & tidy = you care and have self-confidence
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
Key Question #10: Communication Review
Directions: Read your Lesson #3 notes and answer the following questions:
1. What is the difference between verbal & non-verbal communication?
2. Why is it important to be aware of our own body language?
3. What skills are necessary to send effective messages?
4. Think about an uncomfortable communication you recently had with someone.
Describe their body language during that conversation. What message was the
non-verbal part of their communication sending?
5. How does your tone of voice change when you are sending positive messages?
6. How does your tone of voice change when you are sending negative messages?
Key Question #11: Non-Verbal Behaviour
Directions:
(1)
Recreate the table below adding the number of spaced needed. List each of
the behaviours below and beside if they are positive or negative.
(2)
Beside each behaviour, indicate a situation when the behaviour is most
helpful or most inhibiting. (For example, if you are helping your friend with a
difficult math problem and you roll your eyes, your friend will lose confidence
and think that you think he is stupid. But if you nod your head, he will feel
encouraged and try harder).
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Behaviour
+
-
Unit 1 – Lesson 3
Situation
Smiling
Looking at your watch
Folding your arms
Nodding your head
Maintaining eye
contact
Rolling your eyes
Frowning
Slouching in your seat
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
BARRIERS IN THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS
 communication always requires attention and effort
 the process depends on a message, a sender & a receiver (three
opportunities for problems)
The Message Sender:
 maintain eye contact
 should avoid using “you” statements
 speak in clear, even voice
The Message Receiver:
 Message receivers can hinder communication in several ways by:





Giving no response to the speaker
Interrupting when the speaker is talking
Letting their mind wander
Hearing only what they want
Being inattentive and unresponsive
 Of course, not all messages are important, but people are. If you
show others the courtesy of good listening, the same will be
returned to you.
The Message:
 Sometimes the message itself causes problems.
 People do not all see things the same way.
 Selective Attention - tendency to see things in terms of previous
experiences. Confusion can result when people take from a message
only bits which catch their attention.
 When several messages are present at one time and place, the listener
may have difficulty concentrating on only one.
 Distractions may be a problem.
 When speakers talk too long or ramble on from one topic to another,
messages get lost.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
Key Question #12: Your Work Culture and Communication
Strategies
Directions: Think about your work or school culture. What is it like? What
communication strategies are used? Now complete the following questions in
sentence form and submit for evaluation.
1.
Do people learn from mistakes or just repeat them over and over again?
2.
Do people care about each other? Can individuals ask for help and get it from coworkers or administrators?
3.
Is there pride in the workplace?
4.
Is everyone encouraged to think and contribute to problem solving in the
organization?
5.
Is this a happy and welcoming place for staff/students and
customers/administration?
6.
Is there any striving for excellence or improvement? Are there any incentives to
do this?
7.
What personal qualities are modeled by bosses or managers in their work?
Examples of qualities might be loyalty, honesty, patience, sincerity, humour, open
mindedness, trust, enthusiasm, etc.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
TIPS FOR SENDING EFFECTIVE MESSAGES
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK
Take into account the points that you want to
make before speaking. This may save you from
embarrassment or hurting others.
EXPRESS A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
Try to send a message that is warm and
enthusiastic whenever possible. No one really
likes to hear complaints or criticisms of others.
SEND CLEAR & SPECIFIC MESSAGES
Ensure that your thoughts are organized in
meaningful way. Try to use detailed facts to
support the points that you are making. Use
clear language.
SPEAK CLEARLY
Use words that others will understand. Make
sure you pronounce words correctly and
distinctly. Do not talk too slowly or too quickly.
BE AWARE
Be aware of all aspects of your
communication so that both verbal and nonverbal communication is sending the same
message.
CHECK FOR LISTENER UNDERSTANDING Be aware of the listener’s body language
for information about how your message is
being received. Ask for verbal feedback if
you have any questions about the non-verbal
feedback you are receiving.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
POSITIVE COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES
TIMING
HONESTY
HUMOUR
Effective
communication takes
place only when the
sender and the receiver
are ready to focus on
each other’s messages.
Selecting the right time
to convey a message
may make a difference
in how it is received.
Knowing when
someone is ready will
and able to listen takes
skills and sensitivity.
Using empathy will help
you to determine how
well the receiver is
prepared to listen to
your message.
When complete
openness and honesty
exist between two
people, communication
is greatly enhanced.
Both parties can be
sure that they are
receiving all of the
necessary information
needed. They can also
be certain that they
have information about
how the other person is
feeling.
Communication can be
fun. Using your sense
of humour in
communications can
make a message more
pleasant. Humour can
help to put a more
positive spin on a
message. While
frequent “joking around”
may be inappropriate, in
some circumstances
humour can be a good
way of coping with
stress.
A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the
U.S.A. and were nearing a town spelled Kissimmee. They noted the
strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kisA-me; kis-a-ME, Kis-SEM-me. They grew more perplexed as they drove
into the town. Since they were hungry, they pulled
into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the
waitress: "My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to
pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly
so that I can understand?".
The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 3
INTERCULTURAL AND CROSS-CULTURAL
COMMUNICATION
How do people communicate?
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$
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Communication is the transfer of a message (information, ideas) from one person to
another.
Communication can be verbal and non-verbal (only about 35% of total
communication is spoken or written).
Verbal includes language, tone, volume, levels, speed, and pauses.
Non-verbal includes body language, gestures, clothing, conformity with customs and
norms.
When will intercultural communication skills be useful?
$ Travel. The plane doors open. Unfamiliar smells, sounds and sights. Apprehension
competes with excitement. What's out there? How will you cope?
$ You live in a multicultural society — at school, at work, or in your local community
you need to be able to communicate with people from a range of cultural
backgrounds.
Possible misunderstandings …
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$
$
$
$
The person you're talking to avoids looking you in the eye. Is he 'shifty'?
You're angry with someone, but her response is to laugh or smile. Why?
You notice many men holding hands. Is homosexuality common here?
Your hosts look rather alarmed when you wear your shoes inside their house.
You invite the new neighbours in for dinner, but they do not seem to want to make
conversation at the table.
$ You thought he would be agreeing with you, but he seems to be shaking his head
from side to side.
Why are people like this?
$ Enculturation — including prejudices learned from family, peers, media
$ Limited contact with people from other cultural backgrounds
$ Ethnocentrism — 'there's only one way, that's your own'.
What's desirable?

The recognition that one culture cannot be arbitrarily judged by
the standards of another.
Intercultural Communication
Occurs when people transfer messages and ideas across the gap caused by cultural
differences
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 3
Intercultural Communications Strategies
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$
$
$
$
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$
$
Understand 'cultural differences’.
Strive for empathy.
Be willing to communicate.
Learn as much as you can about the culture of the people with whom you will be
communicating.
Listen and observe carefully.
Understand that you may make mistakes but continue to try.
Be willing to share your own culture with the other person.
Learn some useful words and phrases in the other person's language. This opens
doors and brings rapport.
GESTURES AND GREETINGS
Greetings
Asians – avoid body contact. Safest to nod and give verbal salutation. Follow their lead
as relationship changes.
Japanese bowing is a tradition used in place of handshaking. Hands at side, back and
neck in right position, eyes look down. Person in inferior position bows longer and
lower.
India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and Thailand - hands in prayer like position in front of
chins and nod their heads.
Hispanics often expect body contact. Hugging and kissing on the cheek acceptable for
same and opposite sex; or hug and pat each other on back.
France, Spain, Italy, Portugal and other Mediterranean countries often expect to be
kissed on both cheeks.
Middle Eastern, especially Muslims, avoid body contact with the opposite sex. Women
may embrace and kiss each other, and men may do the same.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
Physical Contact
Many Asians believe the soul is in the head, and person touching their head places
them in jeopardy.
Guatemalans may believe that clasping/holding hands together can be a sign of death.
Many devout Muslims do not touch people who are of the opposite sex, unless they are
family members.
Gestures Using the Hands and Arms
Beckon: To use finger(s) to call someone is insulting in most Middle and Far
Easterners. It is proper in most of these countries and in Portugal, Spain and Latin
America to beckon someone with the palm down, fingers or whole hand waving.
Crooking finger to say “come here” is obscene in Japan. In Yugoslavia and Malaysia, it
is used to call animals. In Indonesia and Australia, the gesture beckons prostitute. In
Vietnam it is used to call animals or an inferior person. It can be viewed as threatening
or hostile.
Fingers Circle: widely accepted as the “OK” sign, except in Brazil, where it is
considered vulgar or obscene. The gesture is also considered impolite in Greece and
Brazil. In Japan it signifies money and in southern France is means zero or worthless.
Gestures Using the Face
Eye Contact: Avoidance of eye contact may be a sign of respect. Some people from
Asia, Latin America and the Caribbean avoid eye contact as a sign of respect. Cultural
differences, including age and ethnic background, affect the meaning of eye contact.
Wink: Winking at women, even to express friendship is considered improper in
Australia.
Cheek Screw: Primarily an Italian gesture of praise.
Cheek Stroke: In Greece, Italy and Spain, means attractive. In Yugoslavia, means
success. Elsewhere it can mean ill or thin.
Head Nod: In Bulgaria and Greece, signifies “no”. In most other countries it means
“yes”.
Yes or No: Asking, “do you understand” is not a good question, because many groups
are reluctant to admit they do not understand. They feel it is disrespectful to a teacher
or supervisor not to know what is being asked. Asian cultures often consider it rude to
say no.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 3
Key Question #13: International Gestures
Part 1:
Directions: Go to the following website and take the gestures test.
Click the “Gestures Around the World” icon to begin.
http://www.isabellemori.homestead.com/tests.html
Print off your results and submit them for evaluation.
Part 2:
The activity you just completed and the lesson note “Gestures and
Greetings” provides examples of communication patterns you might
observe around the world. However, there are many gestures we use
everyday in Canada that are not on the Internet or in your lesson note.
Directions: Name, describe and draw a diagram of a gesture you use or you see
used in Canada.
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HIP3E
MANAGING PERSONAL
RESOURCES
Lesson 4
Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
LESSON 4:
Unit 1 – Lesson 4
PROMOTING COMMUNICATION
Effective and open communication promotes an awareness of others’ interests and
needs. Being aware of the necessary skills that will encourage open communication is
important when working with others. This lesson addresses several issues related to
effective communication. The topics that will be discussed are: roadblocks to
communication, using accepting language and listening strategies. Each of these topics
will relay information that will lead towards more positive interactions with others.
12 Roadblocks to Communication
Some typical responses that communicate dissatisfaction are:
1.
Ordering, commanding, directing.
Example: "Stop whining and get back to work."
2.
Warning, threatening.
Example: "You had better get your act together if you expect to pass my class."
3.
Moralizing, preaching, giving "shoulds" and "oughts".
Example: "You should leave your personal problems out of the classroom."
4.
Advising, offering solutions or suggestions.
Example: "I think you need to get a daily planner so you can organize your time
better to get your homework finished."
5.
Teaching, lecturing, giving logical arguments.
Example: "You better remember you only have four days to complete that
project."
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Unit 1 – Lesson 4
These next responses tend to communicate inadequacies and faults:
6.
Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming.
Example: "You are such a lazy worker. You never do what you say you will."
7.
Name-calling, stereotyping, labelling.
Example: "Act your age. You are not in kindergarten."
8.
Interpreting, analyzing, diagnosing.
Example: "You are avoiding doing this assignment because you missed the
directions because you were talking."
Other messages try to make the student feel better or deny there is a problem:
9.
Praising, agreeing, giving positive evaluations.
Example: "You are a smart person. You can figure out a way to finish a task."
10.
Reassuring, sympathizing, consoling, supporting.
Example: "I know exactly how you are feeling. If you just begin, it won't seem so
bad."
This response tends to try to solve the problem:
11.
Questioning, probing, interrogating, cross-examining.
"Why did you wait so long to ask for assistance? What was so hard about this
job?"
These messages tend to divert the student or avoid the student altogether:
12.
Withdrawing, distracting, being sarcastic, humouring, diverting.
"Seems like you got up on the wrong side of the bed today."
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 4
COMMUNICATION BARRIERS
Frequently, messages are misunderstood. A communication barrier occurs when the
true intent of the message is blocked in some way. The following are common barriers
to communication and ways to avoid these problems.
 Distractions – sounds and movement that distract a receiver from concentrating on the
sender’s message. Focus on the message, regardless of interruptions to avoid
distractions.
 Lack of Concentration – understanding a message is difficult if either the sender or
receiver is not interested. Concentrate on the message and show and interest in it.
 Amount of Information – too much information can bore or overwhelm a receiver to too
little can cause frustration and misunderstanding. As a sender, adjust the amount of
information you give according to the situation and the receiver.
 Use of Jargon – language that is too technical or contains jargon or slang should be
used carefully and only when all receivers understand them.
 Disorganized Message – consider your purpose before you communicate a message
and express your message in a sequential, organized manner.
 Unsuitable Language – when speaking or writing, consider your audience in terms of
personality, age, level of ability and experience with language.
 Emotional Response – try not to let personal feelings interfere with communication.
Respond to the message, not the person sending it.
 Thinking of a Response – when receiving a message, people are often too busy
planning a response to receive the complete message. Make sure you understand the
entire message before responding.
 Lack of Feedback – a receiver should provide feedback and ask for clarification.
 Mixed Message – a person may send a mixed message by saying one thing and
implying another through tone of voice, gesture or facial expression. Be aware of the
non-verbal messages you send.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 4
Key Question #14: Roadblocks to Communication
Part 1 - Directions: Read each roadblock, definition and examples in your lesson
booklet. Write your own example for five roadblocks to communication.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
Ordering, commanding, directing.
Warning, threatening.
Moralizing, preaching, giving "shoulds" and "oughts".
Advising, offering solutions or suggestions.
Teaching, lecturing, giving logical arguments.
Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming.
Name-calling, stereotyping, labeling.
Interpreting, analyzing, diagnosing.
Praising, agreeing, giving positive evaluations.
Reassuring, sympathizing, consoling, supporting.
Questioning, probing, interrogating, cross-examining.
Withdrawing, distracting, being sarcastic, humoring, diverting.
Key Question #15: Communication Poster
Directions: After you have read the “Communication Barriers” note and the hints for
avoiding communication barriers, make a poster illustrating one of the barriers. You
poster should be designed to help others improve their communication skills.
Construct your 8 ½ “ by 11” poster and submit it for evaluation. Make sure you have
coloured illustrations that relate to your message.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 4
ACTIVE LISTENING
Is more than hearing the words spoken. Active listening is the process we use to
think about what is said and try to understand.
10 Tips to Effective & Active Listening Skills
Listening to our loved ones makes them feel worthy, appreciated, and respected.
Ordinary conversations emerge on a deeper level, as do our relationships. When we
listen, we foster the skill in others by acting as a model for positive and effective
communication.
In our personal relationships, greater communication brings greater intimacy. Parents
who listen to their children help build their self-esteem. In the business world, listening
saves time and money by preventing misunderstandings. We always learn more when
we listen.
Listening skills fuel our social, emotional and professional success. Studies prove that
active listening is a skill we can learn.
The Technique. Active listening is really an extension of the Golden Rule. To know how
to listen to someone else, think about how you would want to be listened to. It will take
some practice to develop the skills. Here's what good listeners know.
1. Face the speaker. Sit up straight or lean forward slightly to show your
attentiveness through body language.
2. Maintain eye contact. To the degree that everyone remains comfortable.
3. Minimize external distractions. Turn off the TV. Put down
your book or magazine, and move away from the computer.
4. Respond appropriately to show that you understand.
Murmur ("uh-huh" and "um-hmm") and nod. Raise your
eyebrows. Say words such as "Really," "Interesting," as well
as more direct prompts: "What did you do then?" and "What
did she say?"
5. Focus solely on what the speaker is saying. Try not to think
about what you are going to say next. The conversation will follow a logical flow
after the speaker makes their point.
6. Minimize internal distractions. If your own thoughts keep coming up, simply let
them go and try to re-focus your attention on the speaker.
7. Keep an open mind. Wait until the speaker is finished before deciding what to
say. Try not to make assumptions about what the speaker is thinking.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 4
8. Avoid letting the speaker know how you handled a similar situation. Unless
they specifically ask for advice, assume they just need to talk it out.
9. Even if the speaker is launching a complaint against you, wait until they
finish to defend yourself. The speaker will feel as though their point had been
made. They won't feel the need to repeat it, and you'll know the whole argument
before you respond. Research shows that, on average, we can hear four times
faster than we can talk, so we have the ability to sort ideas as they come in…and
be ready for more.
10. Engage yourself. Ask questions for clarification, but, once again, wait until the
speaker has finished. That way, you won't interrupt their train of thought. After
you ask questions, paraphrase their point to make sure you didn't misunderstand.
Start with: "So you're saying…"
As you work on developing your listening skills, you may feel a bit panicky when there is
a natural pause in the conversation. What should you say next? Learn to settle into the
silence and use it to better understand all points of view.
Ironically, as your listening skills improve, so will your aptitude for conversation.
For example:
Student: I don't like this school as much as my old one. People are not
very nice."
Teacher: You are unhappy at this school?
Student: Yeah. I haven't made any good friends. No one includes me.
Teacher: You feel left out here?
Student: Yeah. I wish I knew more people.
The teacher is verbalizing what he/she thinks the student is saying. This
lets the student affirm what the teacher said or explain their meaning in
a different way.
Active listening is a powerful tool which helps the teacher communicate
more productively with the student. Active listening helps the teacher
more fully understand what the student is saying and also helps the
student articulate their concerns. The time it takes to learn and use
active listening provides a number of benefits.







Active Listening:
-Helps students deal with and "defuse" strong feelings.
-Helps students understand their own emotions.
-Facilitates problem solving.
-Keeps the responsibility with the student.
-Makes students more willing to listen to others.
-Promotes a closer, more meaningful relationship between
teacher and student.
Performing the steps effectively depends on skill in giving appropriate
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feedback and sending appropriate verbal and non-verbal signals.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 4
Support Question: Active Listening Skills
Directions: In each case, write out the words you would use to respond to this
person.
A. I just don't know what to do about my parents. It seems like they just don't
understand me. Everything I like seems to go against their values, and they just won't
accept my feelings as being right for me. It's not that they don't love me, they do. But
they just don't accept me.
B. Things have been pretty discouraging lately. I just can't get a good relationship going
in my life -- I mean a romantic relationship -- you know. I have plenty of people I'm good
friends with, but that's always as far as it goes. I'm tired of being just a pal. I want to be
more than that.
C. I'm really bummed out. I don't know what to do with my life. I'm sick of school, but
there just aren't any good jobs around, and I really don't want to join the service. I could
just drop out for a while, but that doesn't sound very good either.
D. I just don't know what I want to do with my career. I probably should be happy that
I'm here and have some job security, but I'm not satisfied. The problem is that I really
don't want my boss' job either, so if I stay here and get promoted, that won't make me
happy either. I guess there's no way out of this situation.
E. I need to get organized better at the office. Every time I need something, I spend ten
minutes trying to find it. My supervisor is annoyed with me because I lost the Flynn file,
and I can't for the life of me figure out what I did with it. It's starting to raise havoc with
my self-confidence. I feel like I'm drowning in this mess, and the coast guard is nowhere
to be found.
F. I'm having a real problem with my secretary. She just doesn't listen to directions, and
when I get the work back it's always wrong. Take this letter for instance, I specifically
asked her to double space it and send it out on Tuesday. Here it is Thursday, and I'm
finally getting to look at it today, and, of course, it's single-spaced. I can't fire her
because she works for my boss too, and they get along great. It just figures this would
happen to me.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 4
Key Question #16: The Lost Art of Communication
1. What are the qualities of a good listener?
2. When someone is talking to you, how do “you” express agreement and
disagreement without using words?
3. There is an old saying: “Silence is Golden.” In your opinion, what does this mean?
4. How can you tell that someone is “not” listening to what you are saying?
5. What should you do to demonstrate that you are listening?
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 4
STYLES OF COMMUNICATION
Every time we speak, we choose and use one of four basic communication styles:
assertive, aggressive, passive and passive-aggressive.
Assertive Communication
The most effective and healthiest form of communication is the assertive style. It's how
we naturally express ourselves when our self-esteem is intact, giving us the confidence
to communicate without games and manipulation.
When we are being assertive, we work hard to create mutually satisfying solutions. We
communicate our needs clearly and forthrightly. We care about the relationship and
strive for a win/win situation. We know our limits and refuse to be pushed beyond them
just because someone else wants or needs something from us. Surprisingly, assertive
is the communication style people use least.
Aggressive Communication
Aggressive communication always involves manipulation. We may attempt to make
people do what we want by inducing guilt (hurt) or by using intimidation and control
tactics (anger). We simply want our needs met, right now! Although there are a few
arenas where aggressive behaviour is called for (i.e., sports or war), it will never work in
a relationship.
Passive Communication
Passive communication is based on compliance. It is the communication style people
use who hope to avoid confrontation at all costs. In this mode, we don't talk much,
question even less, and actually do very little. We just don't want to rock the boat.
People who use a predominantly passive style have learned that it is safer not to react
and better to disappear than to stand up and be noticed.
Passive-Aggressive Communication
Some times people employ a combination of styles, passive-aggressive avoids direct
confrontation (passive), but attempts to get even through manipulation (aggressive).
There are many examples of passive-aggressive communication within families as well
as in the workplace.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 4
So now what?
Clearly, for many reasons, the only healthy communication style is assertive
communication. Surely you can identify many people in your own life that favour each of
the four styles. Most of us use a combination of these four styles, depending on the
person or situation. The styles we choose generally depend on what our past
experiences have taught us will work best to get our needs met in each specific
situation. If you take a really good look at yourself, you've probably used each
throughout your lifetime.
Understanding the four basic types of communication will help you learn how to react
most effectively when confronted with a difficult person. It will also help you recognize
when you are using manipulative behaviour to get your own needs met. Remember, you
always have a choice as to which communication style you use. If you're serious about
taking control of your life, practice being more assertive. It will help you diffuse anger,
reduce guilt and build relationships, both personally and professionally.
Copyright © 2004, Durham Continuing Education
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 4
Key Question #17: Styles of Communication
Read the situations below and decide/describe how...
... a passive person would react
... an aggressive person would react
... a passive-aggressive person would react
... an assertive person would react
#1
You are trying to concentrate on some important work; however, a few of your
co-workers are laughing and horsing around. What do you do?
#2
You are a secretary in a small company. One day, your boss asks you to get
a coffee from the restaurant across the street. What do you do?
#3
You are the head of your department. A young lady who works for you has
started coming to work late everyday and is extremely moody. What do you do?
#4
Your boss has borrowed your laptop to do some work. He has had it for several
hours and it is now time to go home. You really want to take it home to do some
personal work. What do you do?
#5
Your boss walks up behind you when you are using the company phone for a
personal call. "How much longer do you plan to be?" he asks. What do you do?
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HIP3E
MANAGING PERSONAL
RESOURCES
Lesson 5
Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 5
LESSON 5: PRODUCTIVE INTERACTION WITH OTHERS
Definition: Productive interaction requires that we appreciate and accept each
person's individuality, foster cooperation, constructively solve conflicts, view others in a
positive light, encourage self-awareness, and adapt to a dynamic social environment.
The individual will use all of the above to work productively within a group.
Attitudes & Skills for Positive Interaction
1. The individual shows respect for others.
 Level 1: Actively demonstrates an appreciation of all human beings' value.
 Level 2: Listens attentively and demonstrates respect for others' point of view.
 Level 3: Is inconsistent in listening respectfully to others' point of view.
 Level 4: Does not appear to respect the equal value of all human beings.
2. The individual willingly associates with others.
 Level 1: Actively pursues others' input during collaborative projects.
 Level 2: Successfully participates in collaborative learning projects.
 Level 3: Sporadically participates in collaborative learning projects.
 Level 4: Does not collaborate with others in group efforts.
3. The individual values and respects differences.
 Level 1: Listens to others' point of view and will consciously examine their own
thinking/behaviour out of respect for alternate opinions.
 Level 2: Can present the "other side" of an issue on which they have taken a
stand, yet may still "agree to disagree".
 Level 3: Listens and understands, but maintains prior stereotypic attitudes.
 Level 4: Does not listen respectfully to or comprehend others' opinions.
4. The individual accepts responsibility for their own behaviour.
 Level 1: Engages in self-reflection to determine how well they assume
responsibility for their own behaviour, with the goal of total accountability for their
actions.
 Level 2: Understands the effect of their own behaviour on others.
 Level 3: Does not willingly accept the consequences of their own behaviour and
choices.
 Level 4: Makes excuses and/or blames others for poor performance.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 5
5. The individual recognizes appropriate classroom/workplace interaction.
 Level 1: Classroom/workplace input is timely, relevant to topic, and modified
based on feedback from others.
 Level 2: Interacts appropriately based on the lead of others.
 Level 3: Unable to recognize when input is no longer timely and/or relevant.
 Level 4: Unknowingly dominates interaction to the point of alienating others.
6. The individual is able to use self and group criticism to achieve desired
outcomes and goals.
 Level 1: Produces projects of superior quality based on input of others
and critical self-reflection.
 Level 2: Accepts constructive criticism and is willing to make
modifications based on these suggestions in completing projects.
 Level 3: Considers constructive criticism, but rarely makes changes based
on suggestions of others.
 Level 4: Becomes defensive in the face of constructive criticism and avoids selfexamination.
7. The individual raises and resolves conflicts appropriately.
 Level 1: Actively identifies conflicts and facilitates resolution through thoughtful
and honest discussion.
 Level 2: Responds to attempts to resolve conflicts when initiated by others and is
willing to contribute to the solution.
 Level 3: Ignores or denies the existence of conflicts.
 Level 4: Actively resists the resolution of conflicts.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 5
Support Question: How Do You Handle Conflict?
On the following pages are statements describing possible responses to conflict situations. Read each statement. Assign
a value to your response based on the scale below that most closely describes your behaviour. Read the notes at the
end of the questions before starting this exercise.
1
Never
2
Rarely
Scale:
3
Sometimes
4
Often
Example: I think conflict is uncomfortable.
If you always find conflict uncomfortable, you would check the number 5.

1
Never
2
Rarely
Scale:
3
Sometimes
4
Often
1. When strong conflict occurs, I prefer to leave the situation.
2. I feel very comfortable about taking a conflict between a friend and me to a
third person.
3. I try to find a compromise when a conflict occurs.
4. I find conflict exciting and challenging.
5. I tend to concentrate on the problem and the issues in a conflict, rather
than on the other person.
6. When conflict occurs, I act as though there is no real problem and try to
“get along”.
7. I prefer to have a third person help solve a conflict between a friend and
me.
8. I’m willing to “give” a little if the other person in a dispute is also willing to
give on some things.
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5
Always
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5
Always
Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 5
1
Never
2
Rarely
Scale:
3
Sometimes
4
Often
9. It’s important that I WIN, even if the problem or issue in a disagreement is
not really important to me.
10. I search for a solution to conflict that both the other person and I can find
acceptable.
11. I would quit a job if many conflicts occurred daily.
12. It’s easier to have an outsider settle a dispute than to argue it out alone
with another person.
13. I like to find what each person wants most strongly, and then work for a
point in the middle.
14. I hate to lose or not get my own way.
15. I like to look at lots of possibilities and options before trying to find a
solution to a conflict.
16. When conflict occurs, I prefer to get out of the situation, rather than work to
resolve the conflict.
17. I like to take disagreements to someone who has authority and have that
person make a ruling.
18. I believe resolving conflict requires that each person give up something.
19. When someone tries to get me to back down or give in during a conflict,
which makes me hold my position more strongly.
20. When I especially need to have my plan accepted or when an issue is very
important to me, I tell the person with whom I am in conflict.
21. I prefer to walk away from a conflict if there is strong personal
disagreement.
22. I prefer to have a counselor decide for two people in conflict, not just ask
the two people to listen to each other.
22. I believe working out a middle-of-the-road agreement is best, even if both
people are still somewhat unhappy about not getting their way completely.
23. When I work to resolve a conflict, I work to win.
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5
Always
Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 5
1
Never
2
Rarely
Scale:
3
Sometimes
4
Often
5
Always
24. I consider the other person’s preference as well as my own and work to
find a solution both of us can live with.
25. I prefer to let conflicts “work themselves out”.
26. I believe it is important to get the opinion of a friend when I am in conflict
with someone.
27. It’s OK to give up some things if the other person gives up something too.
28. I believe settling a conflict with another person is not different from
competing in sports – the goal is to win.
29. I believe a conflict is really a problem not a contest; therefore the goal is to
find a solution both people can live with, not to “beat” the other person.
The numbers listed below refer to the statements that you have just responded to. Recreate this grid and write down the
number you picked from the scale for each statement.
TOTAL
A
1.
6.
11.
16.
21.
26.
B
2.
7.
12.
17.
22.
27.
C
3.
8.
13.
18.
23.
28.
D
4.
9.
14.
19.
24.
29.
E
5.
10.
15.
20.
25.
30.
Withdrawing
Avoiding
Going to a
Third Person
Compromise
Win-Lose
Win-Win
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Unit 1 – Lesson 5
In your notebook, list the letters and total scores from the highest down to the lowest.
Letter
Total Score
_________
_____________
_________
_____________
_________
_____________
_________
_____________
_________
_____________
Highest
Lowest
The total scores indicate which ways of handling conflict you use most. If two or more
scores are close together (for example, win-lose 30 and compromise 28) you tend to
use those methods about the same amount of the time.
If your total score is:
26-30
21-25
16-20
11-15
6-10
You tend to use this method
……………………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………………..
……………………………………………………………..
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a great deal
often
sometimes
occasionally
once in a while
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 5
GROUP AND SOCIAL INTERACTION
Social interaction is the process by which we act and react to those around us. All social
interaction is situated in time and space. The study of social interaction in everyday life
is a fundamental area in sociology, shedding light on larger social systems and
institutions and illuminating many aspects of social life.
Sociologists study everyday interactions such as the transactions at post offices and
banks because studying the way everyday interactions are structured gives sociologists
insight into the way social institutions are reproduced.
Many apparently trivial aspects of our day-to-day behaviour turn out on close
examination to be complex and important aspects of social interaction. Our
day-to-day routines are filled with interaction with others. By studying
this interaction, we can learn a great deal about ourselves as social
beings and about social life itself. The study of everyday life also
reveals how we act creatively to shape what happens. Finally,
studying social interactions helps us understand our larger social
systems and institutions.
Social Interaction
Social interaction requires many forms of non-verbal communication.
Social interaction - the process by which we act and react to those around us.
Studying social interaction in everyday life sheds light on larger social systems and
institutions.
Many different expressions are conveyed by the human face. It is widely held that basic
aspects of the facial expressions of emotion are innate. Cross-cultural studies
demonstrate close similarities between members of different cultures both in facial
expression and in the interpretation of emotions registered on the human face.
Both verbal and nonverbal communications may be perceived and expressed differently
by men and women.
Men may feel more freedom than women in making eye contact with strangers in
societies where men on the whole dominate women in both public and private life.
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 5
Social Rules and Talk
Language is fundamental to social life.
Much of our interaction is done through informal conversations with
others.
The study of ordinary conversation has come to be called
ethnomethodology. Ethnomethodology is the study of the methods
people use to make sense of what other people do, particularly what
they say.
Many of the "rules" of everyday conversation become obvious only when someone
breaks them.
We can learn a great deal about the nature of talk by studying response cries.
Response cries are exclamations that demonstrate our controlled management of the
details of social life. Saying "oops" after knocking over a glass of water demonstrates to
the witness that the lapse of control is only momentary.
Face, Body, and Speech in Interaction
Everyday interaction depends on subtle relationships between what we convey with our
faces and bodies and what we express in words.
In many social interactions, we engage in unfocused interaction with others.
Unfocused interaction - takes place whenever individuals exhibit mutual awareness of
one another's presence.
Focused interaction - occurs when individuals directly attend to what
others say or do.
Roles are socially defined expectations of an individual in a given
status or social position. As we are playing out our roles, we are
sensitive about how we are seen by others. Usually impression
management consists of the unconscious following of norms, such as dressing
appropriately for a business meeting.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 5
The social roles that we enact are highly dependent on status. Our status shifts
according to the social context. Sociologists distinguish between ascribed status, which
is based on biological factors such as race, sex, or age, and achieved status, which is
based on an individual's efforts. The statuses that generally determine a person's
overall position in society are called master statuses.
There are cultural differences in the definition of personal space, the culturally defined
boundary around which people interact with others. The respect for personal space and
the invasion of personal space are important forms of non-verbal communication.
MANAGING CONFLICT
As a unique person, with your own ideas and experiences, you will often see things
differently from the way others do. These differences can lead to conflicts. They can
cause hurt feelings and relationship problems. Learning to deal with clashes like this
one can help you avoid negative results. Strange as it may seem, conflict can also be a
positive force in your life. When you deal with conflict successfully, you can have better
relationships and a more solid sense of who you are.
What is Conflict?
Some typical definitions of conflict include:
 Disagreeing with another.
 Difference of opinion with another.
 Complaints about our performance.
 Criticism of our behaviour or attitude.
 Negative evaluation of our performance.
 Fighting with another.
 Stress inducing event in which we are confronted in a negative way.
 A test of our power.
 A threat to our control.
 Matching of wills.
 An anger-producing event.
 A threat to our security.
 Speaking out for our beliefs.
 Risking the loss of acceptance.
 A time when no one is communicating; whether people are
angry silently or are yelling at one another.
 Someone acting in direct opposition to our request.
 Defending our rights when they are being ignored.
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Unit 1 – Lesson 5
Focus on the Positive
Conflict will happen, but when it had been resolved, you can work through
your anger and other negative feelings and replace them with positive ones.
 the positive feelings you experience will promote health in all
areas of your life
 builds personality
 builds self-confidence
Minimize the Negative
Many people make self-destructive choices when conflict goes unresolved.
Unresolved conflict may:
 create negative feelings of anger, frustration and hurt
 lead to poor relationships, depression, drug use and abuse and other
physical and mental health problems
Feelings involved in conflict:
Negative Feelings Before or
During Conflict
hurt
scared
frightened
ignored
confused
isolated
challenged
threatened
unwanted
disliked
put down
controlled
judgmental
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Positive Feelings After Proper
Handling of Conflict
cared for
confident
relieved
listened to
clear on things
more intimate with others
challenged to grow
Open to truth
accepted by others
respected
supported
understood
accepting of differences
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Unit 1 – Lesson 5
Why Does Conflict Occur?
1. Conflict may arise for a variety of reasons such as disagreements over
possessions, money or time (these are resources – property, territory, time,
skill or money).
2. Conflict about needs may result from disagreements over attention, time,
loyalty, or friendship.
3. Another source of conflict might be around values. This might be differing
points of view concerning beliefs, responsibilities, and personal qualities
such as honesty, trust and respect.
The “Conflict Escalator”
Fighting
pushing
hitting, etc.
Fighting,
yelling,
personal insults
Fighting,
raised voices
Arguing
Discussion
calm, rational
Avoid
subject
Making Conflict Work for You
When conflict arises, ask yourself these five (5) questions.
1. Why is this happening? What exactly do I want this conflict to
accomplish?
2. What can I do to keep this conflict from escalating?
3. How can I respect the other person’s position? How will that help
me solve this problem?
4. How can I get the other person to meet me halfway in collaborative, problem
solving?
5. How will I deal with this situation if the conflict cannot be resolved?
Copyright © 2004, Durham Continuing Education
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Unit 1 – Lesson 5
What Behaviours Help in Managing Conflict?
Use ``I'' statements. Let the other party know how you feel when the conflict is
occurring. Let the other person know how you react to the conflict.
Be assertive, not aggressive. Speak about your feelings and your reactions. Keep the
statements focused on how you are behaving, thinking, and feeling rather than on how
the other is acting.
Speak calmly, coolly and rationally. In this way you will be listened
to, and you will be able to maintain better control of yourself.
Otherwise the other person may be put in a defensive attitude.
Avoid blaming. This will keep the communication flow going. It
encourages understanding and empathy for each other's feelings. It
recognizes that for a conflict to exist there must be at least two
parties who are hurt by the conflict.
Create an atmosphere of healing. In an attempt to heal the wounds resulting from a
conflict, all parties involved must feel that they are being listened to and understood;
that their rights are being respected. They must feel the desire to work things out and a
commitment to the process of working out the problems.
Be willing to forgive. Forgiveness is a powerful tool of healing. You have a chance for
personal growth by forgiving others for their part in the hurt and pain you suffered. At
times, this is the only way to resolve a conflict.
Be willing to forget. Once you have “resolved'' a conflict and felt like you were listened
to, cared for, and understood, then “let go'' of the conflict. Once you have implemented
an agreed resolution, put aside the conflict. Put it behind you. Get it out of your mind.
Forget it. Don't bring it up in the future as if it had not been resolved. If you write down
the resolution of the conflict, you will have written proof that it is over and is to be
forgotten.
Be honest. In resolving a conflict it is imperative that you be honest with yourself and
others about your feelings, and reactions to the conflict and to the resolutions. If you are
feeling in a way you think you must, or in a way the others wants you to, not “being
yourself,'' then the resolution of the conflict is a false one. The conflict is sure to recur.
You gain nothing by being dishonest in the management of conflict. You waste your
time and energy and end up feeling failure or guilt rather than growth.
Focus on feelings rather than on content. Effective listening and
responding are key elements in the productive resolution of conflict. Listen
for the feelings and emotions of the other and reflect them with empathy and
understanding. This creates an atmosphere of being cared for and listened
to.
Copyright © 2004, Durham Continuing Education
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Unit 1 – Lesson 5
Show respect for yourself and for others. You will gain more in resolving a conflict by
showing respect. You are showing disrespect by being vindictive, taking revenge,
threatening, yelling, accusing, belittling, ostracizing, ignoring. If you are on the receiving
end of disrespect, remove yourself as soon as possible. When the other has cooled
down, the discussion may be continued in a respectful manner. Maintaining a respectful
atmosphere is essential in resolving conflict.
Be willing to apologize or admit a mistake. It is necessary to admit to one's mistake
and to apologize for one's behaviour. It takes courage, character, and fortitude to admit
an error or a lack of judgment.
Be willing to compromise. If you cling to your position as the only one to be
considered, you are closing out the other person(s). To succeed in resolving conflict
everyone must feel like they have gained. In order to resolve a conflict where the
opposing parties are at opposite extremes on an issue, there is a need to come to the
middle if all are to experience a “winning'' position. Without compromise can each be a
winner in conflict resolution. Without compromise, you have either given in and lost, or
have gotten your own way with the other party having lost. Ideally, all parties should feel
that they have won.
Copyright © 2004, Durham Continuing Education
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Managing Personal Resources – HIP3EA
Unit 1 – Lesson 5
Key Question #18: Resolving Conflicts by Managing Anger
Conflict is a natural part of living within a group or community. When a situation is
handled poorly, a normal conflict can get out of hand. Anger, aggression and even
violence may soon follow. Learning to recognize what anger feels like is the first step
toward managing those feelings and resolving them successfully. Using skills such as
relaxation and negotiation can help avoid potential conflicts
How can I learn to resolve my feelings of anger in a positive and productive manger?
Objectives:
Recognize angry feelings
Communicate feelings of anger in appropriate, non-violent ways
Develop techniques to calm angry feelings
Apply appropriate techniques to solve problems without anger
-
PART 1 – Personal Questions (5 marks)
Directions: Answer the following questions:
1.
2.
3.
4.
What may cause anger or angry feelings?
Give the stages of conflict.
What behaviour may help resolve conflict? (Please give 10).
What can we do to calm feelings of anger?
PART 2 – Website and Article Information (30 marks)
Directions:
1. Use the Internet to access online information from two (2) websites
and two (1) articles about conflict resolution.
2. Complete one chart (example following) for each website and article.
3. You may choose to use the “BIGCHALK” website to find your articles.
Your articles can be either from a newspaper or a magazine.
Please fill in all the required information.
If several pieces of required information are missing, DO NOT USE that WEBSITE or
ARTICLE. If only one piece of required information is missing, fill in the blank with an
“n.d.”
Key word search:
“conflict management”
“conflict resolution”
“managing anger”
“violence and schools”
“parents and teems in conflict”
“problem solving without anger”
“personal problem solving”
“resolving conflicts”
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Unit 1 – Lesson 5
WEBSITE
Author:
Date of Original Posting or Revision:
Name of Page:
Retrieval Date from Internet:
Internet address:
Summary of Information on the Website:
WEBSITE
Author:
Date of Original Posting or Revision:
Name of Page:
Retrieval Date from Internet:
Internet address:
Summary of Information on the Website:
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Unit 1 – Lesson 5
ARTICLE
Name of Article:
Name of Source (magazine/newspaper name):
When was it published?
Where was it published?
Who is the author?
What are his/her qualifications?
What is the purpose of the author writing the article?
Does the author present various points of view or is the article one-sided? (bias)
Do you notice words in the article, such as “I think”, “I believe”, “I feel”. List any that you find.
These words indicate that the information might be based on personal opinion, rather than facts.
(validity)
Are most of the statements based on solid facts or are most based on personal opinions?
(validity)
Are the facts that are reported based on solid research? That is, did the author report on a
number of studies before making generalization, or did he/she simply consult one case study?
(accuracy)
You have now completed Unit 1!
Next Up – Preparing for the Challenges of the Future!
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