Crafting Good Thesis Statements
Part One: What’s the problem?
Identify the problem(s) with each weak thesis statement below.
1.
The translation of One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich shows a day in the
life of a prisoner.
2.
The translations of One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich are different.
3.
The word choices of the translators change the meaning of the passage.
4.
The translators of One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich use syntax and
diction to achieve their purposes.
Part Two: Fixing the Problem.
Revise number 4 above. Imagine an essay prompt that has asked you to analyze both
what the translators of each passage wish to convey to the reader and how they convey it.
In discussing the how, be specific regarding the particular elements employed by the
translators; answer in your thesis questions such as “what kind of diction?”, “which
syntactic schemes?” etc.
4a.
One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich sample thesis statements:
Although the second passage is more fluid and rhythmically consolidated, the first
passage fits the style and tone of the novel due to its impeccable use of shortened meter—
which fits the book’s monotonous, hopeless theme—and its simplistic writing style—
which mirrors the main character’s indifference and state of heightened despair.
Writing Good Thesis Statements
Part Three: Practice using an authentic AP prompt.
Read the Q3 prompt from the 1999 AP Language and Composition exam on the back of
this handout. Analyze the prompt; outline, web, or otherwise pre-write to prepare to
answer it; then, draft a thesis statement. Read the thesis statement with a critical eye and
make any needed changes. Write the “final draft” of your thesis statement below the
passage.
1999 English Language Q3 Prompt
In the following excerpt from Antigone, by the classical Greek playwright Sophocles, the wise
Teiresias observes
Think: all men make mistakes,
But a good man yields when he
Knows his course is wrong,
And repairs the evil: The only
Crime is pride.
Take some time to think about the implications of the quotation. Then write a carefully
reasoned essay that explores the validity of the assertion, using examples from your reading,
observation, or experience to develop your position.
Thesis Statement (“final draft”):
Antigone passage sample thesis statements and assignment
1. Although contrary to mainstream thought, the statement prompted in Sophocles’
Antigone that the only crime is pride can be conclusively evidenced through
fictive examples, examples in the news, and examples which have been observed
through personal experience.
1a. Sample #1 is wordy, uses passive voice, and does not employ parallel structure
when listing the key terms. Please fix it and write your revised version here:
2. By examining the themes of pride and vanity in classic pieces of literature,
Sophocles’s desire of universal humility is conclusively evidenced.
2a. Sample #2 uses passive voice 2x and lacks specificity. Please fix it and write
your revised version here:
3. Judging by common literary themes, daily observations, and worldly experiences,
Sophocles makes a valid point when he says that all crime takes root in pride.
3a. Sample #3 is ok. Make it “good.” Write your revised version here:
MODEL THESIS:
As seen in contemporary world events, humility is a more important quality than
stubbornly “staying the course,” While a subjective opinion can be extremely
important, Sophocles was correct in stating that holding onto a disproved belief and
failing to make reparations for the results of mistaken opinion is a selfish and prideful
course of action.