INSTRUCTIONS—Examine the essay written below. Use the following colors in order to
highlight the corresponding part of the essay. As you read, pay attention to how the
essay is crafted. Specifically, double-check to see that all explanation actually relates to
the evidence, all evidence actually supports the topic sentences, and all topic sentences
truly support the thesis.
 Hook: pink
 Background Info: red
 Thesis: bright green
 Transitions: yellow
 Topic Sentences: olive green
 Evidence: green
 Elaboration: teal
 Concluding Sentences (this does not mean concluding paragraph): violet
 Restated Thesis: bright green
 Summary of Main Points: gray
 Leave the Reader Thinking: dark red
Amy Abrams and Aaron Ohlsen
September 18, 2012
Freedom essay sample
Autonomy is Freedom
In the words of Nelson Mandela, “To be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains but to live in a
way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” Mandela’s thought is also expressed in
numerous pieces of literature, including Toni Morrison’s children’s book The Big Box, as well as Suzanne
Collins’ series The Hunger Games. Both stories show characters being put in adverse circumstances by
powerful outside forces. Yet, both authors guide their readers to show that their characters maintain
more power than they realize. Autonomy is the true meaning of freedom.
To begin, in The Hunger Games, Peeta takes control of his own actions despite negative
consequences that may occur. First, Peeta, being a baker responsible for feeding his family, burns bread
on purpose so he can discard it to Katniss. Peeta’s mother slaps him when he burns the bread, and he
was fully aware of this impending consequence. Clearly, Peeta makes his own choice to feed Katniss
despite his parents’ disapproval. Peeta also, while in the games, creates the appearance of an alliance
with the tributes from Districts One and Two. Peeta makes this choice on his own in order to keep
Katniss safe. The supposed alliance puts himself in danger. Still, Peeta again elects to protect Katniss
despite the fact that he may be killed. Lastly, while Peeta is gravely injured and hiding in a cave with
Katniss, he remains more concerned with her welfare than his own. When Katniss shows willingness to
risk her life in order to retrieve the life-saving medicine for Peeta, he begs her not to go and says to let
him die. In all of these instances, despite the Capitol’s control, Peeta maintained power over his most
important decisions, which shows freedom within autonomy.
Furthermore, The Big Box shows that without autonomy, there cannot be freedom. Though the
characters are children, the importance of power over oneself is just as essential as it would be for
adults. Patty is described as a social child who breaks a rule here and there. Patty shows utter sadness
when she is in the box. Thus, the adults’ choice to put her in the box does not change her core being.
Next, Mickey is an active child, and he chooses to play handball right where the sign says not to. His love
for activity remains with him even in the box. It is part of who he is no matter how the adults choose to
punish him. Finally, Liza Sue is a naturalist. This love for nature is what gets her put into the box. Once
again, going into the box does not change her identity. All three of the children express that “if freedom
is handled just your way, then it’s not my freedom or free.” Morrison confirms this view at the end of
the story when she writes, “Who says they can’t handle their freedom?”
In addition, Katniss maintains freedom through her strong sense of self. Katniss regularly defies
the law against hunting and routinely brings back game for her family. In fact, Katniss goes a step
beyond by selling the meat on the black market to the very people who should be enforcing the law
against it. This examples shows Katniss’ commitment to feed her family outweighs the consequences for
breaking the law. Moreover, when her ally Rue dies, Katniss knows she needs to do something. “A few
steps into the woods grows a bank of wildflowers. Perhaps they are really weeds of some sort, but they
have blossoms in beautiful shades of violet and yellow and white. I gather up an armful and come back
to Rue’s side. Slowly, one stem at a time, I decorate her body in the flowers. Covering the ugly wound.
Wreathing her face. Weaving her hair with bright colors.” (pg. 172) Her choice to honor Rue’s death
instead of celebrate it in full view of all of Panem definitely shows that Katniss’ autonomy is fully intact
despite the Capitol’s limitations on her freedom. Most importantly, when the game makers change the
rules back to allowing only one victor at the point where only Katniss and Peeta remain, Katniss refuses
to play by those rules. She encourages Peeta to join her in swallowing the deadly berries. The result
would be no victors, which would infuriate President Snow. Katniss maintains her autonomy by
repeatedly enacting her own freedom to make choices that are true to herself.
In conclusion, freedom means having control over one’s own decisions. This idea is clearly
shown by the characters in The Big Box and The Hunger Games. Though one is a children’s story and the
other is a bit more advanced, the message remains clear: no matter what restraints others try to put in
place, an individual is still free as long as he or she has power over self. So, when it comes to one’s
autonomy, perhaps the words of long-time cartoon hero Captain Planet are the simplest to remember:
“The power is yours!”
Follow-up questions
1) How well did the essay respond to the prompt and remain on topic throughout?

PROMPT: What do the authors want you to know about freedom after reading The Big
Box and The Hunger Games?
2) How does following a specific structure help the essay make and support its overall point?
3) What is the tone of this essay (formal/informal, humorous/serious, poetic/textbook-style, etc.)?
Why does this style of writing use such a tone?
4) How would the tone be different if it were a narrative piece? Why?
5) Please rate your understanding of essay parts and your ability to follow the structure on a scale of 1 – 10.
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????
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with help
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getting there
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basic understanding I GOT IT!