Karen Gaffney
English I
Essay #1 Assignment
Thurs., Sept. 22.
 Alisa Valdes, “My Hips, My Caderas (61-63)
 Dave Barry, “The Ugly Truth About Beauty” (75-77)
 Discuss Essay #1 Assignment (bring the assignment sheet
distributed on Tues., Sept. 20)
Tues., Sept. 27.
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Thurs., Sept. 29
 Bring written, working thesis for Essay #1
 Sign up for individual conference time with Karen Gaffney
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 Bring 3 copies of your Rough Draft of Essay #1 for Peer Workshop
 If you do not bring your rough draft or if you skip the peer
workshop, your Essay grade will be lowered a full letter grade.
Tues., Oct. 4
Scott McKeen, “A Man’s Guide to Slimming Couture” (79-80)
Catherine Lawson, “Why Do We Get to Laugh at Fat Guys?” (8082)
Thurs., Oct. 6
 No class meeting
 Instead, meet with Karen Gaffney for an individual conference about
your rough draft of Essay 1. Bring any questions from the peer
workshop. Bring any new drafts if you’ve begun to revise.
 All conferences are held in Karen Gaffney’s office, S 335.
Tues., Oct. 11
 Essay #1 due
 When you submit Essay #1, it should be in a folder with the
following: peer workshop sheets, rough drafts from peer workshop, and
the rough draft with my comments.
 Please mark your final draft “FINAL” so I know which version to
grade.
 The final draft should meet the following criteria: 4-5 pages, doublespaced, word-processed, proofread, spell-checked, 1 inch margins,
academic font, 10-12 font size, page numbers, in-text citation MLA
style, with a Works Cited page (this page does not count toward the 5
page requirement).
 NOTE: Make sure you read the revision policy on the syllabus.
 See syllabus for today’s assigned readings.
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Purpose of the essay:
In your first in-class essay, you had the opportunity to create an argument responding to one essay read for
class. In your first out-of-class essay, you’ll take this process a step further; you will have the opportunity to
create an argument analyzing a relationship you see between two essays read for class.
You may choose any two essays read for class so far: Cloud, Jones, Valdes, Barry, McKeen, and Lawson.
While this essay is considered a “comparison/contrast” essay, that name can sometimes be misleading. Keep
in mind that your thesis, and your essay, should be an argument. Often, the term “comparison/contrast” leads
to an essay describing the similarities and differences between two texts; that is not an argument. Instead, an
argument would be an analysis of the relationship between the two texts. It can often help to think about this
assignment as either arguing that two texts that appear to be similar are in fact different or that two texts that
appear to be different are in fact similar.
Listed below are some sample thesis statements that would appropriately respond to this assignment:
 Even though Author A and Author B both agree that ______, Author A provides a more convincing
argument due to ________ (points of comparison).
 Even though Author A and Author B address two different subjects, they are actually in agreement
that ________. This common ground becomes clear through __________ (points of comparison).
 Even though it might appear that Author A and Author B agree that ______, on a closer look, they
actually disagree, seen through _______ (points of comparison).
Important things to keep in mind:
 When you think about your areas of support, think about them as points of comparison. This will
help keep your analysis of each essay parallel. For example, imagine that you’re arguing that Cloud
provides a more effective and convincing argument than Jones. One of your areas of support might
be that his evidence is stronger. You would then need to explain in detail how his evidence is
stronger, and you should give examples of his effective evidence and explain why it is effective.
Likewise, you would also need to explain how Jones’ evidence is not effective, and you should
provide examples of her weak evidence. This area of support, the evidence in the essays, becomes a
point of comparison because you are analyzing that point in both essays. All of your areas of support
should be points of comparison that you can discuss for both essays; otherwise you will not be able
to support your argument. If you are talking about why one essay is weak because it lacks something,
give an example from the essay of that lack and explain why it’s a problem and how it could have
been improved.
 Your thesis should not state the obvious because that is not an argument. Your thesis should be
arguable; someone else should hypothetically be able to disagree with it.
 Your reader has read the two essays you are discussing, but your reader has not analyzed them in the
depth that you have. Therefore, you do not need provide too much summary.
 Do not create an argument that states the obvious. In other words, your thesis should not be a
summary. Your thesis should be an argument.
 Your topic sentences should introduce your point of comparison and link to your argument. If your
topic sentence states a fact, then it is easy to fall into the trap of summarizing throughout the whole
paragraph, rather than analyzing.
 You may weave in personal experience if you feel that it would strengthen your argument. However,
the focus of your essay should be on analyzing a relationship between the two texts.
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Make sure you are bringing in quotes from the essays and analyzing those quotes in depth. Talk
about the writer’s word choice and tone and how they relate to the effectiveness of the essay.
It is probably to your advantage to discuss 3 points of comparison. Two points are probably not
enough, and four is probably too many.
Don’t forget the basics: clear thesis that states your argument and points of comparison; thorough
introduction and conclusion; logical organization with topic sentences and transitions, and detailed
and well analyzed support.
Feel free to use “I.”
For this assignment, MLA in-text citation requires that every time you quote from the book, put the
author’s name and page number in parentheses
For example: “Meanwhile, teenagers in even larger numbers are buying legal but lightly regulated
food supplements” (Cloud 47).
Or: Cloud writes, “Meanwhile, teenagers in even larger numbers are buying legal but lightly
regulated food supplements” (47).
If you include the author’s name in the beginning of the quote, you only need the page number at the
end.
You should include a Works Cited page at the end of your paper that lists the two articles you are
using. Here is a sample entry:
Cloud, John. “Never Too Buff.” The Contemporary Reader. 8th ed. Ed. Gary Goshgarian.
New York: Longman, 2005. 45-49.
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Organization of this essay is very important. In general, it is most effective to be able to go back and
forth between your two authors. If you spend the first half of your paper discussing one and the
second half discussing the other, it makes it difficult for your reader to follow your argument, and it
makes it harder for you to connect the two texts together. Therefore, I recommend that you discuss
one point of comparison at a time, going back and forth between each author.
The following page provides one example of an effective organizational strategy.
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Karen Gaffney
Suggested Outline for Essay #1 (English I)
INTRODUCTION
● Start your introduction with some general comments (do
not dive into your thesis right away).
● Put your thesis at the end of the introduction
● Sample thesis: Even though Miller and Williams both blame the
media for women’s obsession with body image, Miller provides a more
convincing argument due to her use of personal experience, her wellresearched examples of the media’s complicity, and her proposed
solution.
SUPPORT PARAGRAPHS
● Analyze how Miller’s use of personal experience can help
persuade the reader that the media is to blame for women’s obsession
with body image.
● Analyze how Williams’ use of personal experience (or lack
thereof) prevents his argument from persuading the reader.
● Analyze how Miller’s well-researched examples can help persuade
the reader that the media is to blame.
● Analyze how Williams’ poorly researched examples or lack of
researched examples prevents his argument from persuading the
reader.
● Analyze how Miller’s solution can help persuade the reader that the
media is to blame.
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Analyze how Williams’ inadequate solution or lack of solution
prevents his argument from persuading the reader.
CONCLUSION
● Start specific and get more general
● Summarize your main idea(s)
● Suggest other directions for analysis
Note: Miller and Williams are not authors we have read for class; their names are used solely as an example.
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