Rules of Focus and a Naming of Parts
(See the Handouts)
Umbrella Rule: repeat key noun and answer key question in every single sentence
When you have followed the Umbrella Rule, each paragraph and sentence in your paper
will be either a primary or secondary sentence
 How to focus claim/thesis paragraph with introduction:
Repeat key noun/idea in the claim combined with one or more of the 4 methods of introduction:
1. define key terms and ideas
2. state the problem or issue
3. provide some historical or biographical background
4. if your claim is highly controversial, use the introduction to provide arguments against your
claim.
 How to build primary topic sentences in support paragraphs
Repeat key noun/idea and answer the key questions found in your claim/thesis to build each
primary topic sentence in each of your support paragraphs.
 How to build primary support sentences to support topic sentences
Repeat key noun/idea and answer the key questions (how, why, what’s the solution) found in
your topic sentence to build each primary support sentence in your paragraph.
 How to build secondary support paragraphs to support primary paragraphs
Expand a single idea found in your primary support paragraph (This paragraph will also start
with a topic sentence).
 How to build secondary support sentences to expand an idea in a primary support
sentences
Repeat key noun/idea and answer the key question in primary support sentences
Remember that primary support paragraphs start with primary topic sentences, ones that
repeat key nouns and answers key questions found in the claim/thesis.
Remember that secondary support paragraphs start with topic sentences that develop a single
point found in the primary support paragraph.
Remember that primary support sentences repeat key nouns and answer key questions found in
the topic sentence.
Remember that secondary support sentences repeat key nouns and answer key questions found
in the primary sentence.
Rules of Style
Umbrella Rule:
Write Simply: reduce all unnecessary adverb and adjective clauses to phrases
Write Directly: use the active verb
Do not
>Ask questions. Why is Pasadena City College one of the best community colleges in Southern
California? Make Statements! Pasadena City College is one of the best community colleges in
Southern California.
>Use “there are/is” or “it is” constructions. There are many reasons that students at PCC have
weak study habits. Many Students at PCC have weak study habits.
>Address the reader with “you.” You will see that many students from PCC transfer to the best
schools in California. Many students from PCC transfer to the best schools in California. In fact,
avoid “you” unless you have some reason to talk to the reader directly. Or use “you” when a
statement gives advice, or the “you” applies to a group, all of whom share the same experience.
>Start sentences with “It” or even use the word “it.” (Although “it” is a very useful pronoun,
beginning writers overuse this word.) Instead use a name noun to replace the “it” word. Students
at UCLA will face a twenty percent increase in tuition. It will be a burden on financially
disadvantaged students. Students at UCLA will fact a twenty percent increase in tuition. This
increase will burden the already financially disadvantaged. Or: many companies believe that
college graduates are better qualified that non-graduates, and it shows when based on hiring
patterns. Many companies believe that college graduates are better qualified, and this attitude
shows based on hiring patterns.
>Use “I believe” or “In my opinion.” In my opinion, going to college requires a financial
investment that outweighs the financial return. Going to college requires a financial investment
that outweighs the financial return. Every sentence you write indicates either your opinion or the
opinion of someone else, indicated by quotation marks or a paraphrase usually starting with
“According to Anna Quinlan” or “In Anna Quinlan’s view.”
>Use this construction “In Mr. Meier’s class, he wants us to follow his rules of style and focus.
Mr. Meier wants us to follow his rules of style.
Or this one: According to Mr. Meier, he believes that college English classes should require
students to be grammar geniuses. The subject noun unnecessarily repeats the object noun of the
phrase. Instead write, Mr. Meier believes that college English classes should require students to
be grammar geniuses.
(You can begin sentences with these prepositions, but you must make a statement after them.
For example, In Mr. Meier’s class, students work on sentence patterns to build their grammar
skills. Or According to Mr. Meier, most students do not learn enough grammar in their college
English classes.)
Use the Linking Verb or the Passive Verb unless you can defend its use. PCC is in need of a new
computer program for students. Instead write, PCC needs a new computer program for students.
Steve Jobs was of the opinion that every household needed a PC. Instead, Steve Jobs argued that
every household needed a PC. The play Death of a Salesman was attended by most of the
students in my English 1B class. Instead write, most students in my English 1B class attended
the play Death of a Salesman.
Avoid these sentence beginnings: The reason why/One of the reasons/The first reason/The
reason for/The way that/The idea that. Use the name nouns that form the topic of your paper.
The words “reason” “way” and “idea” are not name nouns. The way that he argued confused us
about the important points in the speech. “The way” lacks a specificity: what is his way?
Instead write, because he moved from one topic to another, we were confused about the
important points in the speech. Although this sentence is longer, the reader knows what “the
way” now means.
The reader or one can find/The reader will note/The reader might wonder (more to come)
In short, here are the Rules of Style: Start Fast, and Write Simply and Directly.
To write simply means that you will reduce unnecessary clauses to phrases.
To write directly means that you will consciously try to use active verb in each sentence and
avoid using the passive or linking verb construction.