GUIDANCE, DISCIPLINE, AND PUNISHMENT
Problem Solving with your Child
In this topic we will go over the concepts of guidance, discipline and
punishment. We will address guidelines for using guidance and discipline.
We will also address the problems associated with using punishment to
correct children's behaviors. Lastly we will explore ways in which we can
enlist children to problem solve with adults, thus preventing possible conflict.
Before we get started with this topic I would like for you to think about your
own definition of Guidance, Discipline and Punishment. Think about how you
would define each of these concepts. You need to write you own definition of
these concepts before you read this section. I will ask you to reflect on your
original definition at the end of this topic.
Please e-mail your definitions to me by using the WEBCT VISTA e-mail tool
Be sure to write "Topic 6 participation I" in the subject field of your e-mail.
Be sure that you have completed Topic 6-participation task before you
begin to read the next section.
Guidance, Discipline, and Punishment:
What is the difference between guidance, discipline and punishment? People
may use these interchangeably. In the Early Childhood Education field
guidance, discipline and punishment are 3 different concepts. Guidance is a
preventative measure. It gives children information about what is appropriate
and inappropriate behavior. Guidance is used when we modeled specific
behaviors to children. For example if we always use phrases such as
"please" and "thank you" we are modeling etiquette and respect to our
children. Teaching our children how to express their feelings by using their
words is also guidance. We must remember that we as adults must provide
the structure and boundaries for children. By doing so we are providing the
guidance they need.
Six Strategies to Implementing Guidance:
1.
Set up the appropriate environment:
Remember that children love to explore and exploration is their means of
learning. Allow them to explore freely by making sure the environment is safe
for them. Put away items you don't want broken or handled. Allow for
activities that are appropriate to their age.
2.
Model appropriate behavior:
Be a role model for your child. Behave as you expect your child to behave.
3.
Re-Direct Energy:
Be sure to provide several choices for children. Plan for activities that
children can do outside. Be sure to allow children to let out their physical
energy.
4.
Provide Physical Presence:
Be sure that you know what your children are doing and be sure that your
children know you are close by. You may be able to prevent problematic
behavior by simply getting physically close to your child or by providing
physical touch.
5.
Teach Expression of Feelings:
Teach your child how to express anger by using his/her words instead of
his/her hands.
6.
Meet their Needs:
Be sure to identify their needs and meet them. Are they hungry, tired, sick,
and soiled?
Let's now turn our attention to Discipline. What is discipline and when do we
use it? Discipline is a corrective method. Discipline is an action we take after
a child has behaved in an unacceptable manner. For example, if a child
breaks a window he/she must pay for the damages. We must remember that
the goal of discipline is to address and correct the inappropriate behavior. We
must always separate the behavior from the child. Many people confuse
discipline with punishment. When we use discipline we simply address the
erroneous behavior by providing consequences.
Strategies for Implementing Discipline
1.
Honoring the Impulse:
Sometimes we identify children?s behaviors as misbehaviors when in reality
they are just following their developmental impulses. This is very common in
toddlers and pre-verbal children. For example, a toddler whom drops his
glass of juice on the floor may just be exploring the process of letting the
glass go and seeing the juice spill. In a situation like this it is important to
understand this process for this child. This doesn?t mean that you allow the
child to continue to spill the juice over and over again. It would be important
for you to provide information to your child as to what he/she is doing. For
example, you might say, "It looks like you find the pouring of the juice
fascinating." By saying this to your child you have begun to honor his/her
impulse. Then, you proceed to let the child know that you prefer the juice
stay on the table or in the glass. If the child persists on pouring the juice, you
let her/him know that you will need to take the glass away, as this is
unacceptable.
2.
Sportscasting:
This is a form of providing information by describing the events taking place.
This strategy is useful when you are dealing with conflict between two
children. It's essentially a running commentary: "I see that you are holding
that toy very closely, I see Bob is grabbing the toy from you."
3.
Facilitation:
This strategy also works well with conflict between two children. It works well
if you use it in conjunction with Sports-casting, " Bobby I see that are
grabbing the toy from Johnny, is there another way to let him know you want
to play with it?" This strategy encourages children to think of solutions and to
verbalize their needs. This is a strategy that pre-schoolers and school age
children will benefit from.
4.
Using "I" Messages:
"I" statements is a useful tool to use with children of all ages. When you use
"I" statements with your child you model for your child that you have feelings
and are able to express them. You also let your child know how their
behavior affects you without using blame.
5.
Giving Choices:
This is also another strategy that can be used with younger children as well
as teenagers. Providing choices for your children lets them know that your
honor their sense of autonomy. Choices can be used for children testing your
limits. "You can go out on a school night or Saturday night."
6.
Natural Consequences:
Children learn best through direct experience, allowing them to experience
the impact of their actions can provide them with important information. For
example, if a child chooses not to do his/her homework, he/she may get
detention at school the next day. It is important that we allow our children to
experience these consequences and that we do not rescue them. The
natural consequence strategy is a powerful tool to teach children about the
consequences of their actions. The exception to this is in cases where safety
of the child is an issue. We should never allow our children to get hurt so that
they can learn a lesson.
More information on setting boundaries for children click on the following
website:
http://www.sote.qld.edu.au/articles/HowToSayNo1.html
We discussed how discipline is a method that attempts to correct a child's
inappropriate behavior. Punishment on the other hand attempts to attack the
child's spirit and sense of self. Punishment does not separate the child from
the behavior. It assumes that the child misbehaves because the child is
intrinsically bad. Punishment is based on threats, fear, and corporal
punishment. Janet Gonzalez-Mena (2002) identified several problems with
using punishment with children. According to Mena, adults often use
punishment to get even with children this then creates a feeling of retaliation
on the part of the child. When parents use punishment, they are jeopardizing
their relationship with their children as they begin to resent the parent. Mena
as well as other researchers believe that using punishment with children only
models aggressive behavior and it teaches them that violence is an
acceptable manner to resolve conflict. Punishment also inhibits a child's
sense of initiative. Children shy away from trying new things for fear that they
will make a mistake and be punished for it.
Effective parenting should include guidance and discipline only. It is important
to know you children and to understand and meet their individual needs.
Effective parents should learn how to guide and control behaviors without
lowering children's self-esteem.
Problem Solving with your Child
Problem solving is an essential skill for children to learn. It is important for
children to learn how to deal with conflict and find effective solutions. The
best way for children to acquire this skill is for parents to teach them through
modeling.
The following website
http://www.ehealthyparenting.com/problem_solving.html will take you through
the six steps to problem solving. Remember that you can also use these
steps with younger children.
How was your original definition of guidance, discipline and punishment
different or similar to the definitions in topic 6?
Please email your answer to me by using the e-mail tool in WEBCT VISTA .
Be sure to write "Topic 6 participation II" in the subject field of your e-mail.