“That You May Gain Your Brother (Matthew 18:15)”
Seventeenth Sunday After Pentecost
I wonder regarding the appropriateness of saying anything witty or funny as a
prelude to the explanation of the lesson Jesus teaches in our Gospel today. The matter of
which our Lord speaks is serious. His aim is very far from humor. The purpose of Jesus’
lesson is to establish the basis for unity amongst believers, and gravity is necessary to
accomplish that task. Justice, respect and trust must undergird all interaction within the
community of the church or there will be no unity.
In providing this lesson to his disciples on how divisions in church are dealt with,
Jesus does not naively suppose that there will always be harmony amongst believers,
even if harmony is one of the fruits of the common life of the church. Perhaps Jesus’
expectations for harmony are more realistic than our own. In explaining how these
differences are to be addressed, Jesus does not use the trespass of one person by another
as an excuse not to participate in the corporate life of the church. Rather, he explains
what his followers are to do to establish unity. I think it is important too to note that
Jesus does not say this unity can be achieved through appeals to pious statements. He
does not even say that the Holy Spirit will bring about the unity and we will not have to
do anything. Rather, what Jesus describes requires courage, hard work and honest
evaluation of ourselves and others.
Jesus says that if someone has committed a trespass against you, the first action to
take is to go to the brother and explain why you are offended. The brother may have
several responses. First, he may not in fact know that what he did that was an offense,
and his actions or words may have been done innocently. If this is the case, it may be
that there is an easy resolution to the conflict. Secondly, he may know that he offended,
but thought the cause was justified. Through conversation, it may be possible to come to
a common understanding and the two parties can part with mutual understanding and a
restored relationship. In both these responses, the purpose of the meeting, which is to
restore one brother to another, may be achieved.
The biblical expression to describe the result is “to gain a brother.” It is a
beautiful comment because who would not really want to gain a brother or gain a friend?
Would we not all chose to have won a friend rather than create an enemy?
Thirdly, he may respond by denying the offense or saying that we are too easily
offended. In either of these cases nothing is gained in terms of settling the trespass, but
the procedure of initiating a conversation is still important. At least the individual has
been made aware that what he has done is a problem. But also the brother knows that
you have made the attempt to work out the problem privately. There has been no talking
behind the individual’s back, no attempt to garner support through talking to others first,
that is, through procedures that will destroy trust. The procedure of going to others first
to gain support for one’s cause is the way these problems emerge most often in the world.
It amounts to bullying and trying to gain power over someone without giving the
individual an opportunity even to understand the problem or complaint. Jesus establishes
a different set of ground-rules for his disciples. It is the furthest from power politics that
one can imagine. It aims at restoring relationships and “gaining a brother.”
It is only when he will not hear you, Jesus says, that we take the matter to one or
two others who can be witnesses that an offense has been done and the group together
can attempt to restore it in a still private fashion. The text says that in the presence of
these witnesses, “every word may be established.” In doing so, if the origin of the
trespass can be determined, then an individual may be persuaded to acknowledge the
problem. If there is still no resolution, then the matter can and should be taken to the
church, Jesus says. If the trespass is not acknowledged at this level, then the individual is
to be considered as not part of the church, but as an outsider. Yet, we need to note that
this is the last step, the last resort. The attempts always have been to assume the problem
can and should be addressed through respecting each individual’s capacity to understand
and respond. Jesus recognizes that the great destructive forces are set in motion when
there is talking behind people’s backs and politicking to gain power. These are worldly
ways and are not the ways of the followers of Christ.
At the end of the lesson, Jesus actually teaches that his church has tremendous
authority: “Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever
ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” (vs. 18). This is not the first time
Jesus has made such a statement; he made it when he appointed Peter to be the chief of
the disciples and to have the keys of the kingdom of heaven and hell, only two chapters
earlier (Matthew 16:18-19). We may wonder how this is to work out in our midst. But I
do think our Lord intended us to take it seriously and to work toward that goal. It is
Christ’s way of defending and honoring his creation of the Church. It is consistent with
the entire passage that Christ does not make us helpless in addressing problems and in
being the Church.
So, if someone from church does or says something that is a trespass against you,
go to that individual and see whether a common understanding can be achieved. By
God’s grace, it can be. I suggest in these circumstances that we give the matter time for
each person to reflect on the topic, and each person, ourselves included, will have time to
reflect on the subject. If the fault continues and is egregious, then it is time to ask others
to join in the conversation to see whether a resolution can be reached that way. Finally, if
over time, these two steps fail, it will be necessary to go to the whole church, likely in
this case represented by the minister and vestry and the Bishop. The aim is always unity
and harmony, and forgiveness and forgetfulness will need to be evident. This harmony
will only be reached by knowledge and understanding. Our natural human instincts are
to run away from this kind of brave love and loyalty to others. Our natural human
instincts are to play the game of power politics and to find supporters who will agree how
irrational and out-of-line the other individual is. But that is the world’s way, and not
Christ’s. Let us start afresh today to be the Church to each other.