Stage 2 English Studies Support Materials
Annotated Work Sample
Assessment Component 1: Examination
2007 English Studies Examination
Section C: Critical Reading
This essay was written under examination conditions and has been reproduced as it was
written, without corrections. The following annotations were made in the light of
Performance Standards that are available on the SACE Board of South Australia website.
The SACE Board of South Australia has the student’s permission to reproduce the work
The texts and questions for this section of the examination are available from
the SACE Board of South Australia website
This essay received a mark in the A range of achievement
understanding and analysis
The student shows a precise and perceptive understanding of the central ideas in the two texts
and recognises the role of the author in constructing the text and influencing the reader,
especially in regard to establishing the characteristics of the two males in the texts. There is a
detailed analysis of the features of the two different text types and the effects on the reader.
application
There is a clear focus on the meaning and intention of each question, supported by detailed
supporting evidence from the texts. In Question C. the student recognises a range of
techniques like symbolism, metaphor, contrast, punctuation, sentence length etc. Further to
this, the student clearly establishes how these techniques reflect the nature of the relationships
as in, for example, the explanation of Brock’s use of direct address to Amy involving the
reader in the situation. The effect of the short sentences in reflecting the tension in the
relationship of Linda and Simon is explained. There are several examples of such techniques
provided and the supporting quotations from the passages are smoothly incorporated. The
student effectively compares the techniques, recognising both similarities and differences and
moving smoothly from one text to the other within the answer. The response to each question
is well organised and the student adheres to the suggested length for each answer
demonstrating the ability to control the focus on the term of the question.
communication
The student’s expression is accurate, fluent and expressive with a sophisticated vocabulary,
effective variation in sentence structure and an appropriate style and register. While there are
some long, complex sentences, correct punctuation retains clarity.
 SACE Board of South Australia 2008
533571150Last updated 17 February 2016
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Part (a)
The situation portrayed in “Hey – I’d rather you hadn’t married someone else” by G Brock
and “Not compatible” by Iain Michaels are similar in that both concern the meeting of two
people who were once, but are no longer, in a relationship. Both texts also discuss this
situation in that there “ is much unsaid”; both texts present situations with strong
undercurrents of thought, unexpressed emotion and “memory’. Both texts discuss the
situation of an “awkward” reunion, a meeting with much unsaid.
Part (b)
While Brock present his or her unnamed male character as reflective and with vivid memories
and thoughts, Michaels presents Simon as “ not much good at communicating” while Brock’s
male character is attempting to hold back the words, “block with food the words I want to
say”, Simon consistently can’t express what he is thinking.” This difference, as one male
character is presented as expressive and the other isn’t, creates a contrast in the attitudes
which each is presented as having. While Brock’s character is shown to be attached and
thoughtful, reference to his drinking binges while lamenting the loss of Amy creating
sympathy, Michaels implies that Simon is inconsiderate. Dismissive of the pain he has caused
Linda, making her “feel like a fool’, Simon is presented as unwilling to talk and uninterested
in sparing Linda pain. While Brock’s character is haunted by memories of Amy, Simon has
moved on, “ not compatible” with another woman.
Both Brock and Michaels present the male characters as somewhat self- absorbed, As Brock’s
male character reflects on his “competition” with his ex- lover, his morose “crisscrossing of
the continent”, abandoning his family, the self-absorption is revealed. Similarly, Michaels
presents Simon as willing to cause others pain, unwilling to talk, only offering up something
when “she has startled this from him.” While Brock presents his male character as “ finally
getting over it “, chatly(sic) despite his resolution to “ make his mind as blank as the
tablecloth,” Michaels reveals Simon is still concerned primarily with himself, silent and
uncaring.
Part (c)
While Brock uses a first person, interior monologue style to explore the male character’s
idea of the relationship in personal detail, Michaels uses commentary of thoughts in italics to
create a similar intimacy and explore the nature of the relationship between his characters.
Brock addresses Amy directly, as “I haven’t seen you in almost five years”, placing the reader
in Amy’s position through the use of the inclusive pronoun, using this to cause the reader to
become personally involved in the text, considering the nature of the relationship. In contrast,
the detachment created through the play-style dialogue which Michael uses allows the reader
to be more objective when exploring the nature of the relationship. Intimacy in the
relationship discussed by Brock is revealed in the precise and detailed listing of personal
images ,”the two freckles on your upper lip”. This detail presents the tenderness and closeness
which was once part of the relationship discussed by Brock. Similarly, the note that Simon “
knows instantly who it is; mildly uncomfortable” reveals that there was once intimacy in the
relationship too. The note that Simon is uncomfortable with this meeting immediately, by
association, implies that this relationship, while intimate, did not end well, and is now
awkward.
While the intimacy of the former relationship is explored by each author using imagery and
inference, the awkwardness now evident is presented as Brock and Michaels use humorous
metaphor and symbolism respectively. As Brock lists the “peas and goat cheese, coupled with
cold melon soup; prosciutto and spinach…”, the hyperbole in the listing combined with the
metaphor that the character wants “to block with food all the words” creates an awareness of
the true awkwardness and nerves now present. Michaels, however, presents this more
symbolically. The closing of the dialogue, as Linda leaves her coat “ almost casually on the
 SACE Board of South Australia 2008
533571150Last updated 17 February 2016
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bench”, then walks off with new “buoyancy” shows that Linda is now free, unburdened by
the awkwardness of the relationship, as represented by the red coat.
While hostility in the relationship is presented by Brock by using simile and control, Michaels
uses repetition and punctuation to reveal the same quality in the relationship between Simon
and Linda. As Brock’s character first concludes ”I’m not going to say anything”, “ I might not
say anything during the entire meal”, this is contrasted with the ending of the story as he
speaks straightaway. This shows the confusion and hostility in the relationship, through the
difference between intention and deed. The short lines and use of punctuation in Michaels’
dialogue, with frequent one word sentences also reveal this tension, a single” Yes’ surrounded
by white space implying awkwardness through the surrounding empty void. The clipped tone
created in the dialogue of characters, as hyphens break up Simon’s words; “ Linda- it was
twelve months ago-“ creates an incomplete feeling, that of a relationship hanging on the edge
of awkwardness. This punctuation leaves incompleteness for the reader too, as the sentences
are unfinished. mirroring the loose ends of the relationship in the tone of the passage,
presenting the aspect of the relationship to the reader on multiple levels. In this way, while
Brock uses a personal, intimate tone, imagery, metaphor and contrast to explore the nature of
the relationship he discusses, Michaels uses noting in italics, inference, symbolism and tone
to reveal the same qualities of awkwardness and former intimacy in the relationship he
presents.
 SACE Board of South Australia 2008
533571150Last updated 17 February 2016
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