Preparing for a funeral in St Michael & All Angels,
Lilleshall and St Johns, Muxton
2 Ed. Sept 2010
nd
A funeral marks the close of a human life on earth. It is the opportunity for those of us who are
friends and family to express our grief, to give thanks for the life which has now completed its
journey in this world and to commend the person into God's keeping.
The following pages are intended to assist you with the planning of a funeral. It is likely that
you have been given this by a funeral director who will put us in contact with you. Over the
course of the next few days or week, the person who will be taking the funeral will come and
visit you. It helps if you have read this leaflet and started to have thought about the
information before we visit.
The Rev’d Mike Jones, BSc, Dip HE, MTh, MA
Funerals
As far back into history as we know, people have felt the need for a ceremonial leave-taking of
those who have died. Whatever the pattern of church service, the words and actions all speak
of a loving God and the preciousness to Him of every human being.
The funeral service of the Church of England can be very short and quiet with only a few
members of the family present or an occasion of great solemnity with music, hymns and a
packed church. Whether in a parish church or a crematorium chapel, it can be the standard
funeral service from the Common Worship or with the addition of hymns, favourite prayers and
readings. It can very appropriately be set into the context of a Communion Service.
The funeral service will reflect the personality of the one who has died and the circumstances of
their death. Feelings of grief, gratitude, joy and sadness often intermingle. Sometimes, a sense
of tragedy is uppermost, especially when it is a young person who has died. When it is the end of
a long and fruitful life, the feelings of thanksgiving can be strongest.
There are times when the death of a faithful Christian seems to be the consummation of all they
have lived for and the funeral service is a triumphal departure for their true home. As for
Christian in The Pilgrim's Progress, 'all the trumpets sound for them on the other side'.
Funeral services always raise profound questions about the meaning of life and death. Jesus
himself believed in a life-giving God: 'the God of the living, not of the dead.' Christians believe
that Christ's resurrection is the triumph of good over evil and of life over death and has made
eternal life available to us.
Do feel free to talk to the member of our ministry team who will be leading the service about
aspects of the service or about anything else that is happening that you need to talk to someone
in confidence about.
The Service
The Service begins with the service leader reading aloud such reassuring sentences from the
scriptures as: 'I am the resurrection and the life,' says the Lord; 'those who believe in me, even
though they die will live and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die.”
A psalm sometimes follows, often The Lord is My Shepherd, and lessons are read telling of God's
care and of the hope of eternal life.
At this point, there may be tributes and an address or a sermon remembering the life and work
of the deceased and the great Christian beliefs about life beyond death. Such words can be a
comfort and strength to the mourners.
Occasionally, if the family wishes it, and the service is in church, the Communion service
follows. The prayers recall the promise of the resurrection, entrust the deceased to the love and
mercy of God and ask for comfort and strength for those who mourn.
The Committal
The committal is a particularly solemn moment of the funeral service. It takes place either at
the graveside or, in the case of a cremation, in the crematorium chapel.
In the cemetery or churchyard, the family will gather round the open grave into which the coffin
is lowered and they will hear the words: 'We therefore commit his (or her) body to the ground;
earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to
eternal life.' Handfuls of earth are then scattered on the coffin.
In a crematorium, the words of committal may be accompanied by the closing of a curtain to
hide the coffin from view or the coffin is moved slowly out of sight.
The committal can be a very emotional moment. Many who are suffering grief find that, even in
their sadness, the words of prayer can lift them towards the experience of Christian rejoicing in
the knowledge of life beyond death.
The offering of prayer and the trust that the person is in God's safe hands can begin the process
of healing the grief of loss.
Funeral Arrangements
The person who has died may have left a paragraph in their Will describing the sort of funeral
arrangements they hoped for. Naturally, the family will want to keep to such arrangements as
far as possible.
Not everyone knows that they may have a funeral in their parish church, even if they and the
deceased have not been church-goers. Nor do practicing Christians always realize that they can
have a Communion service as part of the funeral.
At St Johns and St Michael & All Angels, we regard the taking of funerals as an important part of
our ministry. We give a lot of time to visiting families, comforting those who are facing loss,
finding out what service they want to use and helping them to arrange it. This leaflet contains
information on all the different parts of the service.
If one of the local clergy or lay readers is taking the service, the funeral directors will contact
Mike Jones, the vicar, before any other funeral arrangements are made to make sure one is free
and available. If the service leader did not know the deceased, then it would help to provide
some details, especially if there is to be an address.
The funeral director plays a very important part in all these arrangements and will want to know
if the funeral is to be in the parish church or if the vicar / lay reader is to take the service in the
crematorium. Funeral directors know the local clergy, the local cemeteries and the crematoria.
As part of a national network of funeral directors, they can, if necessary, give advice on funerals
in other parts of the country, as well as on costs and fees.
Burials and Cremations
In Lilleshall, there is limited space in the churchyard. It is open for burials for residents of
Lilleshall and Muxton and those who attended the church. Residents of Muxton and Lilleshall are
also buried in other local cemeteries and the funeral director can advise on this.
The Church of England has nothing against cremation; these days six out of 10 funerals make use
of the crematorium. This leaves the question of what is to be done with the ashes. The local
Crematoria have gardens of rest where they can be buried and St Michael & All Angels has a
special place set aside for burying ashes for residents of Lilleshall & Muxton and those who
attended the church. When this burial takes place, sometimes a few days after the funeral and
sometimes months afterwards, a further very brief service can be held if the family wish it and
some suitable commemorative mark or record may be made.
Memorial Stones
The funeral directors, vicar and Cemetery Coordinator are able to advise on suitable memorials:
diocesan rules for memorial stones and what is permitted are more restricted in a churchyard
than in a local authority cemetery (your funeral director should have a copy of diocesan
guidelines and be able to advise on what is appropriate in Lilleshall graveyard).
In Lilleshall for example, to keep the traditional form of the churchyard, trees or bushes are not
permitted to be planted; solar lights are not permitted and only particular stones may be used.
We understand that some people would prefer not to follow these guidelines and so prefer
their relative to be buried elsewhere. Your preferences need to be borne in mind when
choosing the location of a burial. By choosing Lilleshall you are indicating that you will
conform to the guidelines of the churchyard: we try to preserve the nature of the
churchyard for the years to come. For this reason, we do not permit the planting of trees,
shrubs, etc without permission and only permit certain shades and styles of headstone etc.
We reserve the right to remove those elements placed in the cemetery that are not
conforming to diocesan and local guidelines.
The blue forms
When the time comes that you want to place a memorial stone in the churchyard we can issue
you with a “Blue Form” – this is the Lichfield Diocese, Churchyard Schedule for Memorials in
Churchyards. You can pick them up from St Johns Church Office (open Monday, Tuesday, Friday
mornings—please ring to confirm – the contact numbers are at the end of this guide.)
Care after the funeral
People who have lost someone close to them are often so busy with practical details and
arrangements between the death and the funeral that they do not experience the full sense of
their loss until later.
Grieving is a natural and important and will likely continue for several months and years. As part
of our ongoing care
The family will usually be prayed for in church the week after the funeral. We would like to
invite you to join us for this occasion. Do speak to the person who took the funeral about
this and they will inform you about the different up and coming services: the prayers can
take place at St John’s or St Michael & All Angels’ in the morning, or in the evening at St
Michael & All Angels’.
A member of the church pastoral team will visit the family if the family would like this
We invite the family to attend our annual memorial service.
Comfort is also to be found in the promises of Jesus Christ, in the hope of the Resurrection
and in the belief that the beloved person is safe in the hands of God. Many people find that
attending church is helpful and you may like to join us. You will be very welcome. Do speak
to the service leader to find out about the wide range of church services.
Do call if you would like to talk
Service Details.
A standard order of service is as follows
Music on entry
Welcome
Hymn
*Other readings (* means optional)
*Tribute
Bible Reading
Address by the service leader
Prayers
Hymn / Psalm
Commendation
Blessing
Music on leaving
Service Sheets.
People often like to have service sheets and we would encourage you to do so. These are
essential if there is a very large funeral at the churches (above 150 people) or if you have chosen
hymns that are not in the hymn books at the location of the funeral.
Music on entry or leaving church or chapel
In church or the crematorium people have the choice of silence, organ music or the playing of a
CD / cassette.
Organist:
Often people simply ask for the organist to play. If you have particular requests of the organist
the possibility of items being played depends on the organist’s repertoire. Please contact the
organist directly in advance. As a modern church, St John’s has a keyboard rather than an
organ.
CDs
The crematoria and the church have identical approaches to CDs in services. Due to increasing
problems with copied/downloaded CD’s, both the church and the crematoria now request
original CD’s only for playing during a service.
CDs must be delivered to the church / crematorium at least 48 hours prior the service.
The CD must be clearly identified with the name of deceased, day, date and time of funeral and
where during the service the CD/Cassette is to be played.
Track number and title.
Music being supplied on cassette should have only one piece of music per cassette.
The crematoria note that failure to comply with the above may result in the playing of the
requested music being refused
Hymns
The usual hymns are listed in a table at the end of this leaflet. If you are using the hymn books
at the crematorium the list indicates which ones are in the hymn books in each venue.
If you are using an order of service then you may choose any of these hymns or other Christian
hymns / songs;
If you are using the books in the church then we have different hymn books and we can confirm
whether the hymns you choose are in the books.
Tributes
It is always good when a family member or friend is able to give a tribute to their loved one. If
you are preparing tributes then the following prompts may help you
Where and when born: maiden name if name changed
Where they grew up
What they did
Loves and family
Hobbies and how spent leisure time – where went on holidays
Career
Character
Likes/dislikes
What miss about them; particular memories of them.
Their faith / spiritual journey
If the service leader will be giving the tribute, a short biography proves helpful in preparing the
service and it is helpful for you too so we would ask you to fill in the form before we come.
Bible Readings
Often people prefer to leave the choice of reading to the service leader. There is always at
least one Bible reading in the service and there can be more.
Some of the possible readings are listed below.
New Testament choices
John 14:1-6 (In my Father’s house are many rooms)
John 5:24-27 (He who believes has everlasting life)
John 6:37-40 (All that the Father gives me will come to me)
John 10:11-16 (I am the good shepherd)
John 11:21-27 (I am the resurrection and the life)
Romans 8:14-19, 34-35, 37-39 (The glory that shall be revealed)
1 Corinthians 15:20-26, 35-38, 42-44, 53-58 (The imperishable body)
2 Corinthians 4:16-5:9 (Things which are unseen are eternal)
1 John 3:1-2 (We shall be like him)
Revelation 7:9-17 (God shall wipe away all tears)
Revelation 212-7 (Behold, I make all things new)
Old Testament choices
Isaiah 25:6-9 (He will swallow up death for ever)
Isaiah 61:1-3 (To comfort those who mourn)
Lamentations: 22-26, 31-33 (The Lord is good to those that wait for him)
Job 19:21-27a (I know that my Redeemer lives)
Psalm 42, 46, 90, 121, 130, or 139; 23, 27, 106, or 116
Contacting Us
The service leader will visit you, or if you live outside of the parishes will often invite you to
come to see us before the service.
Service Leaders
Rev Mike Jones (day off Friday) 01952 604281; 07834 359671 mikejones@2day.ws
Rev David Kichenside (day off Friday)
01952 876204 davidkichenside@2day.ws
David Pierce
01952 850231
Cemetery Coordinator (St Michaels)
Jean Millward
01952 677140
Organist (St Michaels)
Raymond Millward
01952 810447
Donations Administration:
St Michael’s Church Treasurer: Cedric Ayres
01952 606053
St John’s Church Treasurer: Janet Gibbs
01952 604301
Church Office for both churches (Mon, Tues, and Fri mornings)
Lesley Trotman 01952 670033 stjohnsmuxton@2day.ws
www.lilleshall.2day.ws www.muxton.2day.ws
Hymns
Here is a list of the hymns that are regularly sung at funerals together with the song number in
the books at the Crematorium Chapel
Hymns
Page
Abide with me, fast falls the eventide
All things bright and beautiful
Alleluia, sing to Jesus!
Amazing grace (how sweet the sound)
And did those feet in ancient time
Be still my soul: the Lord is on your side
Blest are the pure in heart
Dear Lord and Father of mankind
Eternal Father, strong to save
For all the saints who from their labours rest
Great is thy faithfulness, 0 God my Father
Guide me, 0 thou great Redeemer
How sweet the name of Jesus sounds
I am the Bread of Life
I heard the voice of Jesus say
Immortal, invisible, God only wise
In heavenly love abiding
Jesus lives! thy terrors now
Jesu, lover of my soul
Just as I am, without one plea
Lead us, heavenly Father, lead us
Lord of all hopefulness, Lord of all joy
Love divine, all loves excelling
Love's redeeming work is done
Make me a channel of your peace
Morning has broken, like the first morning
Now thank we all our God
0 God, our help in ages past
0 Jesus, I have promised
0 Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder
0 love that wilt not let me go
On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross
Peace, perfect peace, in this dark world of sin
Praise, my soul, the King of heave
Rock of ages, cleft for me
The day thou gayest, Lord, is ended
The King of love my shepherd is
The Lord's my shepherd, I'll not want
The strife is o'er, the battle done
There is a green hill far away
There is a Redeemer
Thine be the glory, risen, conquering Son
To God be the glory, great things he has done!
When I survey the wondrous cross
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