“Killing with Kindness”
“Sin and Virtue - Part 3"
Texts: Genesis 4:1-12 (and Colossians 3:12-14)
Thesis:
Envy is the second deadly sin which seeks to destroy others and, in the
process, destroys us. The antidote is gratitude which calls us to put on
kindness.
“It has been said that Envy is the one deadly sin to which no one confesses. It seems
to be the nastiest, the most grim, the meanest.” And yet it is so common to be “green
with envy” – to believe “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”
This morning we continue this series on the 7 Deadly Sins and their Lively Virtues. In
the Bible, Pride is the first deadly sin with the story of Adam and Eve in the garden.
The woman is tempted to “be like God” and she gives in. The sin of Pride is different
from self-worth – each of us is a worthwhile human being. But, the sin of Pride brings
a preoccupation with oneself and the desire of the self to be recognized by others.
Pride is destructive to all relationships including our relationship with God and
becomes a barrier to our salvation. Humility is the virtue we “put on” over our pride.
Envy is the second deadly sin as revealed in the second story of Genesis – that of
Cain and Abel. Verse 7 from this story provides some of the rationale behind the
entire series. God says – “If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not
do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.” As we
study the 7 Deadly Sins and the Virtues, I hope we will all become better at mastering
these sins and choosing the virtues. And, as we recognize our weakness in doing so,
may we all realize just how much we need a Savior.
“Green with envy” Envy is the deadly sin which seeks to destroy others and in the
process destroys us. The antidote is gratitude which allows us to put on the virtue of
kindness.
In 1989, the newspapers in Iowa revealed the story of a classic love triangle. Cindy
and Sonya had grown up together. They went to school together. They competed
against each other at local beauty contests. Cindy won the county title of Miss
Harvest Queen. Sonya was Miss Homecoming in their high school. But their most
important competition was over Jim – considered by all to be handsome, promising,
and eligible. The newspapers don’t say what Jim thought about these two beautiful
women fighting over him – perhaps he was flattered – perhaps he was embarrassed.
But, he had to choose – and he did. Jim chose Sonya over Cindy and they
announced their plans to marry. When Cindy heard the news, she must have felt
personally attacked by Jim and Sonya. She wasn’t used to disappointment in
romance and she didn’t know what to do. It was bad enough to lose Jim but what
really got to her was the thought that her rival Sonya had walked off with the prize –
that her rival was pleased and satisfied – that her rival was happy. So, Cindy “rose
2
up” against Sonya and slew her. One autumn evening, Miss Harvest Queen
strangled Miss Homecoming with a leather belt.
The entire community was left grieving. “Green with envy” – This is a story we’ve
heard before.
Cain and Abel are two brothers who come to grief over an offering. Something had
gone wrong with Cain’s worship of God. It hadn’t worked. We don’t know why.
Perhaps he didn’t bring the first of the harvest to God. Perhaps he had a bad attitude.
But God didn’t accept it. And Cain became dejected and angry. He was not
humbled before a mighty, mysterious God – he was angry. It’s not fair. Very quickly,
Cain’s anger shifts from God to his brother. Abel ceases to be a brother and
becomes a rival. After all, who turned God against him? Who does Abel think he is?
Cain is “green with envy” so he rose up and slew his brother. He is banished –
destroying his life. And his family is left grieving.
This is just the first of many Biblical stories where envy plays a key role. Think about
Jacob and Esau competing over their father’s blessing. Or Leah and Rachel vying for
Jacob’s love. Or Isaac and Ishmael seeking their father Abraham’s name. Or
Joseph and his envious brothers. Or even Herod and the child Jesus. The story of
King Saul and David is a classic. David is the young, good-looking shepherd who
slays the giant Goliath. For years, Saul had been Israel’s king and war hero. But
now, this young hotshot is getting the nation’s attention and approval. The women
sing – “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” (1 Sam 18:7)
Saul’s pride is wounded and he becomes angry. His anger leads to envy. And
“green with envy” he seeks to kill David.
Robin Meyers writes – “Envy is the pain we feel when we perceive another individual
possessing some object, quality or status we do not possess. As a deadly sin, it’s
more than simple jealousy or passive resentment. True envy consumes us. If we
can’t have it, we don’t want anyone else to have it either. Envy has a heart of
darkness.” [The Virtue in the Vice, p.34]
Envy has us constantly comparing ourselves to others. We want to have what they
have or be who they are. It begins in childhood when we are often compared to
others – to brothers and sisters – to our parents when they were our age – to
classmates –
to teammates. Unfortunately, we no longer seem to admire or respect those with
greater gifts or abilities than ourselves. So, when we compare ourselves and find we
are lacking, we begin to put them down – or even tear them down. The goal of envy
is always to strip someone of a particular good. The target may be an individual. Or,
it may be a whole class or race or nation of people – the rich, the educated, the Jews,
the Japanese.
3
Envy is different from mere covetousness. Cornelius Plantinga writes – “What an
envier wants is not, first of all, what another has; what an envier wants is for another
not to have it...To covet is to want somebody else’s good so strongly...that one is
tempted to steal it. To envy is to resent somebody else’s good so much that one is
tempted to destroy it...Coveting focuses much more on objects than on persons...Of
course, an envier may begin his career as a coveter.” [Not the Way It’s Supposed to
Be, pp. 162-163]
A football player is green with envy so he starts a rumor that his teammate is gay. A
college yearbook editor is green with envy and takes vengeance on her rivals by
defacing their yearbook photos. The associates of a Chicago publishing executive
are green with envy and ruin his reputation by lying about his work.
Maxie Dunham lists 5 symptoms of envy which help us get a handle on envy in our
lives. The first is malice – the desire to harm others or to see them suffer. The
deadly sin of envy is closely tied with the deadly sins of pride and anger. We’ve seen
this in several stories. Cain’s pride won’t allow him to see that his offering is
unacceptable and his anger quickly becomes envy. Cindy’s pride in her beauty and
envy of Sonya turn to anger when Jim does not choose her. Together, these 3 sins
are a deadly combination.
The second symptom is jealousy. An interesting thing about jealousy...we are most
jealous of someone like us or slightly better. So, doctors are most jealous of doctors
–
ministers of ministers – mechanics of mechanics – teachers of teachers – salespeople
of salespeople. And, the prosperous resent the rich, the pretty resent the beautiful,
the hardworking B+ student resents the A- student. I have to work very hard not to be
critical of other preacher’s sermons when I sit in the pew.
A third symptom of envy is dejection – sorrow or regret for what we cannot have or be.
Cain’s initial response was dejection that he did not have God’s approval. Saul went
back and forth between dejection and anger because he could not be like David.
Fourth, hypocrisy. As Christians, we are to “rejoice with those who rejoice and weep
with those who weep.” (Rom 12:15) But envy causes us to do just the opposite –
rejoice at another’s difficulty weep at another’s success. Or, in the very least, we are
not genuine when we celebrate with someone – we only pretend to do so. I don’t
know about you but this one catches me.
Finally, isolation – a lack of love in one’s life. Cain was driven from his family. For
us, envy leads to a loss of our self-worth. And those who do not love or value
themselves find it difficult to love others. They can become pretty lonely. Envy
makes it difficult to form or sustain relationships. “One of the evils of Envy, says the
4
theologian, is that it is a source of discord.” Backbiting – strife – gossip all flow from
Envy. Envy destroys individual relationships and it can destroy the harmony of a
family or congregation or workplace.
The antidote to the green-eyed monster is gratitude which calls us to put on the virtue
of kindness. Dunham writes – “The antidote to envy begins with kindling our love of
God and affirming God’s mercy and goodness. Acknowledging and committing
ourselves to God’s love, we can root out envy by first accepting ourselves and God’s
gifts, however modest or abundant, making the most of them, and cultivating a sense
of gratitude and generosity.” [Workbook on the Seven Deadly Sins, p. 69]
Out of gratitude to our kind God, we can clothe ourselves with kindness. Again, we
have the image of a garment that we can choose to put on. The virtue of kindness
can cover the sin of envy until it begins to release us. Joe had been away from his
family for two weeks on business and was lonely. As he sat down in a roadside diner,
the waitress asked – “What would you like?” Joe answered – “Some lasagna and a
few kind words.” The waitress soon returned with his order and set it in front of him.
As she turned to leave, Joe said, “Say, what about my kind words?” She leaned
down and whispered in his ear – “Don’t eat the lasagna.”
A few kind words – these are the antidote to the gossiping words of envy. A few
“random acts of kindness” – these are the cure for the back-stabbing acts of envy.
Envy seeks to destroy others and in the process destroys us as well. We can clothe
ourselves in kindness as a way to master the sin of Envy. But, by ourselves, we will
not succeed. All our efforts cannot save us. Only Jesus Christ can do this. He, too,
was murdered by people who were envious of his success. But with his death and
resurrection, all our sins are forgiven and conquered, even the sin of Envy. And,
through the power of the Holy Spirit, we can put away Envy and put on Kindness.
Thanks be to God. Amen