19th Century Manners and Etiquette
etiquette: (noun) the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or
prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life
Examples from www.victoriaspast.com
 Never talk back to older people, especially to your mother and
father.
 Never whine or frown when spoken to by your elders.
 Never argue with your elders- they know best.
 Do as you’re told in a pleasant and willing way
 Always greet members of your family when entering a room.
 Always rise to a standing position when visitors enter.
 Never address a visitor until he has started the conversation.
 Never interrupt a conversation.
 Never allow your parents to bring you a chair and never allow
them to get one for themselves. Wait on them instead of being
waited on.
 Talk in a low, even voice.
 Always give way to younger children. It is your duty to look
after them.
 Keep your hair combed, nails clean, and shoes looking nice.
Examples from The Essential Handbook of Victorian Etiquette
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Never point at another person.
Never wantonly frighten others.
Never make yourself the hero of your own story.
Never call attention to the features or form of anyone present.
Never seem to notice a scar, deformity, or defect of anyone
present.
Excerpt from Social Life in Old New Orleans
Eliza Ripley wrote this in 1912, reflecting on her childhood in New
Orleans. In this excerpt, she is remarking on the education (training)
young Creole girls received in the mid 19th century. The first
paragraph relates to one of the schools run by St. Angelo. The
second paragraph relates to a teacher, M. Devoti, who taught the girls
dancing and social graces.
In the thirties St. Angelo had a school on Customhouse Street, next door
to the home of the Zacharies. His method of teaching may have been all right, but
his discipline was objectionable; he had the delinquent pupils kneel on brickdust
and tacks and there study aloud the neglected lesson. Now, brickdust isn’t so very
bad, and tacks only a trifle worse, when one’s knees are protected by stocking or
even pantalettes, but stockings in those days did not extend over the knee, and old
St. Angelo was sure to see that the pantalettes were well rolled up.
Another important branch of deportment was to seat the awkwards stiffly
on the extreme edge of a chair, fold the hands on the very precarious lap, droop the
eyes in a pensive way. Then Devoti would flourish up and present, with an
astonishing salaam, a book from the center table. The young miss was instructed
how to rise, bow and receive the book, in the most affected and mechanical style.
Another exercise was to curtsey, accept old Devoti’s arm and majestically parade
round and round the center table.