1
PETRIFIED FOREST audition sides for DUKE MANTEE, JACKIE and GRAMP.
(GABBY, BOZE, PYLES and PAULA also have lines.)
SCENE: The year is 1935. The interior of the Black Mesa Filling Station and Bar-B-Q—
a rustic diner/gas station in the middle of the eastern Arizona desert, known as the
Petrified Forest. It’s midday and very hot and humid. This is rattlesnake country.
Tumbleweed and hot gusts of wind swirl outside.
JACKIE swaggers into the diner, brandishing a Thompson submachine gun. She’s a hard
woman, her face drawn and full of suspicion. She’s dressed in the style of Bonnie Parker
of Bonnie and Clyde—a tilted beret, ill-fitting jacket and dress. JACKIE steps to the side
of the door, clears her throat and makes an announcement.
JACKIE
This is Duke Mantee, folks. He’s the world-famous killer and he’s hungry.
(DUKE MANTEE enters. He’s well-built but stoop shouldered, with a vaguely thoughtful,
saturnine face. He is about thirty-five and, if he hadn’t elected to take up banditry, might
have been a fine leftfielder. There is, about him, one quality of resemblance to ALAN
SQUIER: he too is unmistakably condemned. He is hatless and unshaven and wears an
ill-fitting suit with a gray prison shirt. MANTEE carries no visible arms.)
DUKE
What’s in there and in there? (He speaks quietly, even gently, with an effortless ferocity.)
GABBY
That’s the kitchen, and in there’s our bedrooms.
JACKIE
Anybody else in?
GABBY
My grandfather’s in there and the cook. There’s nobody in there.
DUKE
Bring ‘em in, Jackie.
JACKIE
O.K., Duke.
2
DUKE
(He calls offstage.)
Hey, Pyles. (Pyles’ voice is heard to reply: “Yeah, boss.”) Back that car into the shadows
and stay with it.
PYLES’ VOICE: Do I get to eat?
DUKE
You’ll eat. (DUKE takes his coat off, revealing a harness over his waistcoat with two
revolcers in holsters under either arm-pit. He folds his coat neatly and lays it on the
bench, then turns to RUBY. BOZE lowers his hand.) Keep ‘em up.
RUBY
How long do we stay here?
DUKE
Until they get here.
JACKIE
You’re going to wait for that blonde?
DUKE
Get out!
JACKIE
O.K.
DUKE
(to BOZE)
You sit down there. Football player, eh?
BOZE
Yes. And you better not get close enough to take a sock at you.
DUKE
(unconcerned)
I used to be quite a fan. What’s your school?
BOZE
Nevada Tech.
DUKE
Never heard of it.
GRAMP
So you’re Mantee, are you? You’re the killer!
3
JACKIE
Yes, Pop. That’s the greatest killer alive today. Did you hear what happened in
Oklahoma City?
GRAMP
Yes—I heard. You pulled off a massacre.
JACKIE
Who said it was a massacre?
GRAMP
The Denver Post.
JACKIE
Did it say how many we killed?
GRAMP
Six killed and four wounded.
JACKIE
Did you hear that, Duke? We killed six and wounded four.
DUKE
(to Gabby)
Got any steak?
GABBY
Only hamburger.
PAULA
And we got chicken, mister.
GRAMP
Two of the wounded’s not expected to live.
DUKE
All right. Cook the chicken and four hamburgers. And plenty of onions.
JACKIE
Boy, that was some massacre!
4
DUKE
(to Jackie)
Take a look around outside. Tell Pyles not to hit that horn unless somebody comes up
that really looks like trouble, and then to hit it plenty. Bring us beer for the bunch, sister.
(He addresses Boze and Gramps.) You fellas like to join us? The cops ain’t likely to
catch up with us—not tonight. So we can all be quiet and peaceable, and have a few beers
together, and listen to the music—and not make any wrong moves. Because—I may as
well tell you, folks—old Jackie there, with the machine-gun—he’s pretty nervous and
jumpy and he’s got the itch between his fingers. So let’s everybody stay where they are.
Here’s happy days.