NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2010 — page 1 of 7
Assessment Schedule – 2010
English: Read and respond critically to unfamiliar prose and poetry texts (90724)
Evidence Statement
Text A, “From the Edge of the Sky”
Question
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
ONE
Identifies a mood established in
lines 1–10
Identifies a mood established in
lines 1–10
Identifies a mood established in
lines 1–10
AND
AND
AND
Identifies and gives an example
of at least TWO language
techniques used to establish
this mood.
Identifies and gives an example
of at least TWO language
techniques used to establish
this mood
Identifies and gives an example
of at least TWO language
techniques used to establish
this mood
AND
AND
AND
Makes a relevant comment
about how at least ONE
technique is used to establish
mood.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of how at least ONE
technique is used to establish
this mood.
Presents an integrated
discussion with support from
the text of how at least TWO
techniques are used to establish
the mood.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made
across the text.
Possible mood(s)
 dramatic; busy; lively; negative; harsh; hostile; aggressive, melancholic, nostalgic, reflective;
reminiscing
Examples of language techniques
Contrast
 “pastoral” / “canals” (line 1); “plains” / “gorge” (lines 1–2)
Emotive language
 “steep-walled”, “chipped”, “perpendicular” (line 2); “once-befouled”, “racing” (line 3); “seethed”,
“delving sweatily” (line 4)
Diction
 verbs – “seethed” (line 4)
 compound words – “steep-walled” (line 2); “horse-drawn” (line 5)
 adjectives – “once befouled” (line 3)
 gentle verbs at the beginning – “left … skirting … crossing … travelling” (lines 1–2), then harder
verbs – “chipped”, “racing” (lines 1–2); “seethed” (line 4); “thudding” (line 5); “perished” (line 7)
Sound devices
 alliteration – “boulders below” (line 3); “quartz crushers … coaches carrying” (line 5)
 long vowel sounds – “Once befouled Ohinemuri” (line 3)
 harsh, cacophonous sounds of strong consonants – “Karangahake Gorge” (line 2); “quartz crushers
… coaches carrying” (line 5)
Jargon
 “quartz crushers … horse-drawn coaches … bullion” (line (5)
Hanging phrase
 “… and capital” (line 9) – grammatically incorrect, contrived – for dramatic effect. The phrase is part
of the subject of the sentence.
Metaphor
 “finally perished … colour was ensnared” (lines 7–8); “win” (line 9)
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2010 — page 2 of 7
Listing
 “California, Victoria, then New Zealand’s Otago and Westland” (line 7)
Repetition
“the dream … the dream” (line 6)
Comments / discussion linking techniques to the creation of mood may include:
 the landscape did not allow miners to get what they searched for
 the landscape and place won against men / humanity
 a dream was not sustained – the “digger” / “fossicker” / “prospector” became “entrepreneurs” /
companies” / “shareholders”
 the dream has been lost to individuals: the “nomad” has lost out to (impersonal) “companies”
 there are no connections to the land – prospectors were “nomads”, then replaced by “companies”
 the writer also feels alienated / adrift from the landscape
 romantic to prosaic – use of hanging phrase, which nullifies the sense of the personal, replacing it
with a wider / abstract / impersonal sense; the effect is to lead from the sense of the personal to the
impersonal, the specific to the general
 use of more than one sense – what is seen (eg “seethed”) and heard (eg “thudding”)
 a journey, with the sense of moving across a landscape
- first the canals and plains, then the arrival in the gorge, with a sense of the landscape narrowing
- the sense of narrowing is reflected in the writer’s memories, which become more focussed and
specific
 man has had an impact on the land, but one not easily achieved
- the landscape of the gorge has not been as affected by man as that of the canals and plains at the
start of the journey
- man reacted to the challenge of the environment (“the road chipped from the perpendicular cliffface”) – the action had to be vigorous to make a difference / have an impact (“the gorge seethed
with men”, “backbreaking labour was necessary “) – but ultimately man lost the battle (“the day …
was done”)
Note: Points cited above as evidence are indicative and not exclusive.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2010 — page 3 of 7
Text A cont’d
Question
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
TWO
Identifies and gives an example
of at least ONE valid language
technique from lines 17–24
Identifies and gives an example
of at least ONE valid language
technique from lines 17–24
Identifies and gives an example
of at least ONE valid language
technique from lines 17–24
AND
AND
AND
Makes a relevant comment
about how the technique is
effective in establishing the
autobiographical nature of the
text.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of how the
technique is effective in
establishing the
autobiographical nature of the
text.
Presents an integrated
discussion of how the
technique is effective in
establishing the
autobiographical nature of the
text.
There may be more than one
reference point, and the
discussion will provide more
detail.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made
across the passage.
Examples of language techniques
Personal pronouns
 “my”, “we”, “I”
Rhetorical questions
 “Two years? Could that be right?” (line 21)
Minor sentence
 “Two years?”
Repetition
 Two consecutive rhetorical questions
Compound word
 “half-derelict” (line 18)
Comments / discussion linking the technique(s) to the establishment of the autobiographical nature of
the text may include:
 the triggering of specific childhood memories of living in the settlement (following its description in
lines 11–16)
- recollection of the powerful nature of the river – the river and the footbridge are each mentioned
twice in lines 18–19; the description of both is negative (“frightening”, “seething”)
 the use of metaphor: “I had come full circle” (line 22); “memory offered more nourishment” (line 23)
 the use of metonymy: “If I was to make sense of New Zealand …” (line 22) – more than just the
place, the people, countryside, his background, and also links to “envy” and “feuds” (last sentence)
 the use of first-person pronouns to establish the writer’s perspective (“I”), and claim the memories as
his (“my”)
 the use of rhetorical (self-answered) question / hypophora (the statement of an opponent’s probable
objection to the speaker’s argument)
- this involves the reader with the writer’s need to establish a connection with the place
 the creation of negative images – “half-derelict cottage”, “the footbridge was frightening … the river
seething”
Note: Points cited above as evidence are indicative and not exclusive.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2010 — page 4 of 7
Text B, “Return Journey”
Question
THREE
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies an important idea
Identifies an important idea
Identifies an important idea
AND
AND
AND
Makes a relevant comment
about the idea or about the
effect created, supported by
relevant example(s).
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion about the idea or
about the effect created,
supported by relevant
example(s).
Presents an integrated
discussion of the idea or about
the effect(s) created, supported
by relevant example(s).
Important idea
 The writer is thinking of the lifestyles of people who settled in Wellington in previous times. The focus
is on European settlement and the way people adapt to the environment.
 The writer specifically describes the harsh landscape and weather of the Wellington environment,
and this negative aspect is reinforced by images of deaths.
 Wellington is known for the harshness of the wind / weather – the writer conjures images of
harshness and negativity.
 The first stanza concentrates on elements – wind and water
- Human occupation is likened to “bleached bones” (line 5) and “a graveyard” (line 6)
 The second stanza initially focuses on how man has changed the environment, harshly described,
eg “mucked with the rake of time”, “battering trams”, “lamed with concrete” (lines 8–11)
 The end of the second stanza returns to nature, now a “ghost” of the past – waters are “stranded”
(lines 11–12)
 Humans corrupt the landscape / destroy the natural environment through industrialisation
 Wellington has an underlying ‘wildness’ “all sea, all tossed hills’, all white-edged air” (lines 3–4)
 Wellington’s harsh environment has literally shaped the city – “we have tucked too snugly into the
valleys” (lines 7–8)
Language techniques
Rhyme
 eg end rhyme of couplets
Repetition
 eg “all” (line 3)
Alliteration
 eg “bleached bones” (line 5)
Metaphor
 eg “the rake of time” (line 9)
Consonance
 eg “foreshore”, “battering trams”, “Lambton, lamed” (line 10).
Note: Points cited above as evidence are indicative and not exclusive.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2010 — page 5 of 7
Text B cont’d
Question
FOUR
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies a valid conclusion
established in lines 19–24
Identifies a valid conclusion
established in lines 19–24
Identifies a valid conclusion
established in lines 19–24
AND
AND
AND
Identifies and gives an example
of at least TWO language
techniques used to establish
this conclusion.
Identifies and gives an example
of at least TWO language
techniques used to establish
this conclusion
Identifies and gives an example
of at least TWO language
techniques used to establish
this conclusion
AND
AND
AND
Begins to make a relevant
comment about how at least
ONE technique is used to
establish the conclusion.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion of how at least ONE
technique is used to establish
the conclusion.
Presents an integrated
discussion with support from
the text about how at least TWO
techniques are used to establish
the conclusion.
There will be a sense that
connections are being made
across the poem.
Examples of language techniques
Personal pronoun
Oxymoron / paradox
 “we” (line 19) – inclusive
 “drown deep under the wind”
Alliteration
Allusion
 “tiger tight”; “drown deep”
 “Columbus”
Metaphor
Adjective
 “we have shut the tiger tight”
 “little graveyard town”
 “we might yet drown deep under the wind”
Simile
Parallel construction
 “like porcelain”
repetition of the alliteration and metaphor
Conclusion
 Nature – or at least the environment – seems to have been tamed (however this is tenuous and
uncertain), and maybe at some stage Wellington’s wind might be tamed as well.
 The human occupation of Wellington is in a fragile state (reference to “porcelain”, line 24)
 The human influence on nature in Wellington has been a negative one
- Negative effect of imposing man-made structures on Wellington environment
 The environment is very powerful
 As Wellington embraces modernity, it should not forget the past (irony of “no need to remember”,
line 13)
 Some of Wellington’s personality stems from its wind
Discussion
 Wellington is compared to a small toy town – one that an insect might discover on an exploration
(like Columbus).
 The final line ironically links to the start – the “still landscape” contrasting to the wind of the first three
lines – one two-word phrase compared to the three lines of wind description in stanza one). The final
simile can refer to the fragile state of the human occupation of Wellington, and also to its beauty.
Note: Points cited above as evidence are indicative and not exclusive.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2010 — page 6 of 7
Comparison of Texts A and B
Question
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
FIVE
Identifies at least ONE aspect of
each writer’s treatment of
memory
Identifies at least ONE aspect of
each writer’s treatment of
memory
Identifies at least ONE aspect of
each writer’s treatment of
memory
AND
AND
Gives relevant example(s)
Gives relevant example(s)
AND
AND
AND
Refers to each text to exemplify
each writer’s treatment of
memory.
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion comparing and / or
contrasting each writer’s
treatment of memory.
Presents an integrated
discussion comparing and / or
contrasting each writer’s
treatment of memory.
There may be some
unevenness in the discussion of
the two texts
The focus could be on the
attitudes and how they shape
the texts.
There may be an attempt to
compare and contrast.
Treatment may be:
 the writer’s attitude to the memory
 how the memory is conveyed
 what is remembered.
Evidence may be repeated from previous responses.
Text A
Text B
 Personal – autobiographical
 Created – imagined
 Starts by referring to specific place; moves on
to think about his own relationship to that place,
then his place in the world
 Harsh and terrifying at start – more
contemplative at the end
 Centres on the writer and a specific place
 Impersonal (apart from a passing reference to
“women”)
Perspective of male writer
Perspective of female writer
 Has specific negative memories of place
 Has created a more gentle and reflective scene
 People are the losers – the land has beaten
them
 People have tamed and settled the land
 The time of the events described, although not
specified, can be historically located
 The time is not specifically located, and there
are references to a remembered past and an
imagined future
 The setting is identified
 The setting is specifically identified, with
references to locations and characteristic
weather
Note: Points cited above as evidence are indicative and not exclusive.
NCEA Level 3 English (90724) 2010 — page 7 of 7
Comparison of Texts A and B cont’d
Question
SIX
Achievement
Achievement with Merit
Achievement with Excellence
Identifies at least ONE stylistic
feature from each text
Identifies at least ONE stylistic
feature from each text
Identifies at least ONE stylistic
feature from each text
AND
AND
AND
Refers to each text to show how
the stylistic feature conveys a
sense of place and / or time
Presents a valid and detailed
discussion, supported by at
least ONE example from each
text, comparing and / or
contrasting how the writers use
stylistic features to convey a
sense of place and / or time.
Presents an integrated
discussion supported by
examples from each text,
comparing and / or contrasting
how the writers use stylistic
features to convey a sense of
place and / or time.
There may be some attempt to
compare and / or contrast the
texts in some way.
There will be a sense that clear
connections are being made
across the texts.
Evidence may be repeated from previous responses.
Comparison of stylistic features could include:
 Both texts use figurative language
 Both texts have the writers remembering a place and a time
 Both texts use a personal voice
 Both texts start from a central place, a setting that is described, then metaphorically ‘move on’
 Both use very concrete diction (eg place names)
Contrast of stylistic features could include:
 Writer A makes reference to personal reference points (place)
 Writer A learns about how place / environment affects him
 Writer B uses more metaphor – writer A uses more description through word choice
 Writer B refers to places (Wellington, and locations within it)
 Writer B uses a wider landscape than Writer A
 Writer B feels for people in an abstract way
 Writer B uses more descriptive language (there are richer qualifiers in the poem)
Note: Points cited above as evidence are indicative and not exclusive.
Judgement Statement
There are 2 texts and 6 questions.
All 6 questions offer opportunities for Achievement, Achievement with Merit, or Achievement with Excellence.
Achievement
Reads and responds critically to
ideas and language features.
3A
Achievement with Merit
Reads and responds critically and
analytically to ideas and language
features.
2M+1A
Achievement with Excellence
Reads and responds critically and
with sustained perception to ideas
and language features.
1E+2A