HOCKEY PARENTS
MAKE THE DIFFERENCE
This presentation has been created to the emphasis of the important role that parents play in
the success of a positive youth sports program. All parents share in the responsibility. We, as
program administrators can’t do it alone. Remember, hockey parents make the difference!
In The Stands
Parents can take the fun out of hockey by continually yelling or screaming from the stands.
Parents should enjoy the game and applaud the efforts made by all participants. The stands
are not a place from which parents should try to personally coach their kids or critique the
activity on the ice. Kids often mirror the actions of their parents; if they see mom or dad losing
their cool or shouting from the stands, they’ll almost certainly do the same from the ice.
Car and Home
Some parents not only spoil the fun for their kids at the ice rink, but also in the car, believing
this is the perfect place for instruction and critique. Parents should try to keep things in
perspective. There’s more to life than hockey, and the car and home are not places to coach.
Parents are responsible for supporting and respecting the coach’s decisions and abilities. It is
unfair to put children in a position of having to decide who to listen to – their parents or the
coach.
At Practice
Parents should remember that if a child wants to improve, they have to practice – not just play
games or scrimmages. Even if their child is not the “star” of the team, practice stresses the
importance of teamwork, establishing goals, discipline and learning to control your emotions.
All are important lessons children can use both in and away from sports.
At The Rink
Hockey parents can help create a fun and beneficial environment by making certain their
children come ready to play with a positive attitude and all necessary equipment. Parents
should stress that fair play and sportsmanship are more important than winning the game.
Support Your Child
There are many benefits that are derived from playing youth hockey. Boys and girls learn
good sportsmanship and self-discipline. They learn to work together, how to sacrifice for the
good of the team, how to enjoy winning and how to handle defeat. In the process, they also
learn important lessons about physical fitness and personal health. The degree to which your
child benefits from his or her hockey experience is as much your responsibility as it is theirs.
In order for your child to get the most out of a youth hockey program, it is important for you to
show support and offer encouragement while maintaining a genuine interest in the rest of the
team.
Always Be Positive
Parents serve as role models for their children, who often look to adults for advice, direction,
and approval. Never lose sight of the fact that you are their role model, and strive to be a
positive example of accepted behavior. As a parent, one of the most important things you can
do is show good sportsmanship at all times to coaches, referees, program administrators,
opponents, and teammates.
REMEMBER
It is your children that are playing hockey… not you or your spouse. It is important to allow
them to establish their own goals and play the game for themselves. Be careful not to impose
your own standards as being more important than the program objectives or team goals.
Let The Coaches Coach
Avoid placing an exaggerate emphasis on winning. Winning is always the result of teamwork,
positive attitudes, and proper emphasis on skill development. A recent survey indicated that
72% of children would rather play for a “losing” team than ride the bench for a winner. The
most important aspect of your child’s youth hockey experience is for them to have fun while
developing physical and emotional skills that will serve them in life. A healthy, risk-free
environment that emphasizes the importance of fair play, sportsmanship, discipline,
teamwork, and most importantly, fun will be invaluable for your child as he or she continues
to develop a positive self image.
Positive Reinforcement
The best way to help children achieve goals and reduce their natural fear of failure is through
positive reinforcement. After all, no one likes to make mistakes…even parents. When your
child makes a mistake…that’s a certainty…keep in mind that mistakes are integral part of the
overall learning process. Strive to be supportive and point out the things they do well. They
will soon develop the confidence they need to succeed versus the fear of failure.
MAKE YOUR CHILD FEEL LIKE A WINNER…AND THEY WILL BE!
INTERVIEW EXERPTS – WAYNE GRETZKY
On the morning of his induction into the Hockey Hall of Fame
I have said and been told that my single greatest contribution to the game was that I
succeeded even when I was told I was too small, not quite fast enough, and lacked the
physical strength to last in this league…
Honestly, my greatest contribution is yet to come. If I can somehow emphasize to every player
and parent that this is one of the greatest games on this earth if you truly love and respect the
game yourself. If you don’t have fun playing a game, why do it. I cherish the fact that my first
coach repeated the same question to me all of my life…son; did you do your best and have
fun today?
Players and parents need to cherish the moments they share together. Pull the good things
from those experiences and, like I do on mornings like this, reflect on those memories. That is
what gives me the confirmation that I have truly been blessed. I scored over 800 goals and
every one of them was a direct result of the positive experiences I enjoyed with someone I
played side by side with or was coached by…they all had a hand in this moment.
I truly reached this level because I was able to stay positive and focused. I concentrated on
skill development my entire life and had people around me who taught me to ignore those who
were only interested in tearing me down.
There are many people in my Hall of fame…my parents, the fans, my teammates and those I
played against. Wayne Gretzky is a small piece of all of them.
PARENTS CODE OF CONDUCT
 Do not force your children to participate in sports, but support their desires to play their chosen
sport. Children are involved in organized sports for their enjoyment. Make it fun.
 Encourage your child to play by the rules. Remember, children learn best by example, applaud
the good plays of both teams.
 Do not embarrass your child by yelling at players, coaches or officials. By showing a positive
attitude toward the game and all of its participants, your child will benefit.
 Emphasize skill development and practices and how they benefit your young athlete. Deemphasize games and competition in the younger age levels.
 Know and study the rules of hockey, and support the officials on and off the ice. This approach
will help in the development and support of the game. Any criticism of the officials only hurts
the game.
 Applaud good effort in both victory and defeat and enforce the positive points of the game.
Never yell or physically abuse your child after a game or practice. It is destructive. Work
toward removing physical and verbal abuse in youth sports.
 Recognize the importance of coaches. They are important to the development of your child
and support. Communicate with them and support them.
 If you enjoy the game, learn all you can and dedicate time as a volunteer!
SPECTATOR CODE OF CONDUCT
SO THAT EVERYONE CAN ENJOY THE GAME,
LET’S FOLLOW THESE FEW SIMPLE RULES!
 Display good sportsmanship. Always respect players, coaches and officials.
 Always act appropriately; do not taunt or disturb other fans. Enjoy the game together.
 Cheer good plays of all participants, avoid booing opponents.
 Profanity and objectionable cheers or gestures are offensive; cheer in a positive manner and
encourage fair play.
 Throwing any items on the ice surface can cause injury to players and officials; help provide a
safe and fun environment.
 Do not lean over or pound on the glass surrounding the ice surface.
 Support the referees and coaches by trusting their judgment and integrity.
 Be responsible for your own safety – be alert to prevent accidents from flying pucks and other
avoidable situations.
 Respect locker rooms as private areas for players, coaches and officials.
Are You a Pushy Parent?
All parents like to encourage their child to excel in sports but it’s easy to get caught up in excitement
of games and practices and become overzealous. Research has shown that all athletes improve
more with positive reinforcement than negative criticism. In fact, 85 percent of athletes will improve if
you work with them in a positive way and give them compliments for achievement and specific
information they can use to work skills. Be on the look out for these warning signs that you’ve crossed
the line.
10. You push your child with the hopes of getting them an athletic scholarship or have aspirations of
a pro sports career for them.
9. You’re more concerned about the team winning than if your child had fun participating.
8. You force your child to practice at home until YOU think they’ve shown sufficient improvement.
7. You punish or act coldly toward your child if they don’t perform up to your expectations.
6. You constantly compare your child’s skills to others.
5. Your child no longer enjoys playing the sport and maybe even asked you to stop coming to
games.
4. You get in game-related argument with other parents.
3. You talk to the coach a lot about the way he or she coaches the game and what positions each
of the children are playing.
2. During games you shout negative, critical remarks at your child, other children, the coaches
and referees.
1. You focus on the outcome of the game.
Think about it people, are the kids playing for us or are they playing because they enjoy the game
and being with friends. I say, LET THEM PLAY!
National Alliance for Youth Sports