Syracuse Delegation
PRHYLI
Sally Doran
Scholarship essay
Scholarship and award essays have a lot in common with admission essays, but the standards for winning
essays are much higher. Hundreds or thousands of applicants might be trying to win each spot. The grammar,
spelling, sentence structure, organization, and content of your essay must be impeccable.
Follow All the Rules
Before you start working on your essay, make sure you know all the rules. Do not test the patience of your
readers by breaking even a minor rule. When it is possible to do so, get the latest set of rules from the
organization's web site-- Most importantly, make sure you very clearly understand what you are supposed to
write about. If the prompt reads, "Account for your opinions about the role of the United States in global
warming," that is exactly what you are supposed to do. It would be wrong to frame your essay around global
warming.
Likewise, if you are required to include certain themes or sources in your essay, do not fail to include them.
Meeting the Deadline
Usually there is no real difference between submitting your essay weeks in advance and sending it by express
mail on the last day. An office assistant will put your essay in the pile for your readers, all the same. The
advantage of submitting your application early is that if there is a problem, you might be contacted early
enough to be able to correct it. The advantage of taking extra time is that you might need it to improve your
essay.
Do You Know What the Institution Values?
It is essential to learn what the institution values and then to demonstrate in your essay that you support those
values. An essay about you should show that you either exemplify those values already or aspire to achieve
them through some aspect of your life and work.
What will make your essay rise above the rest?
1. Do more research than the competition. When the topic involves yourself, make sure that you get the
circumstantial details correct: is that castle at Lake Bled really 900 years old, and is it really on the eastern hill?
If you are writing about a personal experience, engage in some honest introspection to truly understand and
account for your thoughts and feelings. 2. Write more drafts than the competition. As your experience develops
and your style improves, you will gain a more intuitive sense of what structure will work best, so you will not
have to go through all the permutations every time.
Writing the Essay: The Title
In scholarship essays, the title often makes a great difference. A smart, catchy, relevant title marks the essay
as worth reading and the essayist worth noting.
1. Usually it is not enough to name the subject of the essay in the title. It is especially important to go beyond
the general theme in competitions where all contenders are responding to the same prompt. Give, in addition, a
sense of the argument of the essay.
2. Write as specific a title as you can without going on too long or emphasizing only part of the argument.
Remember that whatever you promise in the title it must actually come through in the essay.
3. Consider using some of the words (or synonyms for the words) of the prompt, but do not simply restate the
whole prompt, unless you are specifically instructed to use the prompt as the title of the essay. Even so, if you
are submitting several essays in response to different prompts, make sure that the titles clearly suggest which
essay goes with which prompt.
4. Presenting a promise often engages the reader. Titles that begin with "How" or "Why" promise that you will
explain something worth understanding. Similarly, presenting a question in the title is basically a promise that
you will provide some sort of answer in the essay.
5. A common practice in writing titles is to give two versions of the title separated by a colon.
The First Sentence
The first sentence of an award-winning essay must look the part. In other words, aim for an award-winning
sentence. It can be short, medium, or long, but it must orient the reader in terms of tone, content, and
language. Use it to start preparing your readers for the "trip" that you have designed for their benefit
Tone. Choose a tone that is appropriate for the essay. (serious, professional, humorous?, etc.)
adapted from: http://www.bestessaytips.com/scholarship_essay.php
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Content. Just as in the title, the content of the first sentence should be preparing the reader to learn your
perspective on your topic. This means, again, choosing a level of specificity that is not too broad. Get right to
the issue.
Language. Remember that early drafts of your first sentence should be just enough to get you started as you
write and revise.
Remember that early drafts of your first sentence should be just enough to get you started as you write and
revise. Later, when you have a solid command of your argument and a perfect feel for the tone of your essay-this may not be until after you have written several drafts--you can spend time focusing on the first sentence.
Don't get bogged down before the rest of the essay is in place.
The First Paragraph
In a great opening paragraph, every sentence does significant work. Each sentence requires significant
attention to tone, content, and language. The two anchors are your opening sentence and your thesis sentence,
but these do not lie apart from one another or from the rest of the sentences. Like an interlocking framework,
all the sentences work together; even a small shift in one sentence could affect all the others.
For example, let's stay with the paragraph on global warming.
Again, note that the writer leaves some material for future research. Much of the content work can be
performed later and added to the next draft. Just remember that when your research suggests an alteration in
the argument, the argument should be changed accordingly.
The Body
The body of an outstanding scholarship or award essay has the same features as outstanding essays in general.
Remember that each body paragraph should be a discrete unit with a clear point, taking the next reasonable
step as you proceed through a consistent line of argument.
Dealing thoughtfully and intelligently with counter-claims and counter-evidence is often essential to awardwinning essays. Readers want to know that you have considered your position carefully. This includes
demonstrating that although you have considered other positions, you remain persuaded that your position is
the strongest. The following advice also is essential for essays in which you do not take a position but present a
variety of possible claims in order to demonstrate your knowledge or interest in a particular issue.
When you treat any claim that is not your own, especially a counter-claim, present it fairly and, as much as
possible, on its own terms.
At the same time, pay attention to the relative amount of effort that the essay expends on your position versus
the other positions. Usually the majority of the essay should focus on your own position, so do not get bogged
down in refuting other positions at length. Likewise, do not worry about responding to every potential challenge
to your position; it normally is quite enough to include your responses to the best and most significant
challenges that could be offered.
In covering the ground of your own position, make sure that you are using a high standard of evidence.
Remember that evidence is often a quotation from another source. Do not cite a second-rate source, including
most encyclopedias, dictionaries, newspaper articles, popular magazines, and most of the material on the
Internet. Even a strong Internet source is suspect among readers, simply because it shows that you did your
research from the relative ease of your computer rather than at the library. Whenever you can, find a published
source (usually a book or journal article) to cite in place of an Internet source.
It ought to go without saying that your evidence also should be (1) relevant, (2) interpreted thoughtfully and
accurately, and (3) appropriate.
(1) Relevant evidence is that which pertains to the particular point being made in the paragraph if not also the
entire argument of the essay. When you are searching for and choosing from among relevant pieces of
evidence, look for phrases that are memorable and which use some of the key words that are used elsewhere in
your point or in the overall argument.
(2) Accurate interpretation of evidence involves understanding the evidence in its larger context as well as in
itself. Thoughtful interpretations also bring out the importance of the quotation in its new context, the particular
location in your essay where the evidence is brought forth.
(3) Evidence is appropriate when it has the right length (not too long or too short given the amount of weight
that it carries), the right tone (objective, combative, or whatever is necessary for you to illustrate or develop
the point), the right source (a trustworthy rather than a suspect source), and the right form (in some places it
makes sense to quote a speech or lines of a poem, but in other places only written prose will do).
Although the evidence in the body of your essay often will come from sources that you quote and statistics that
you cite, some evidence may take other forms. Winning essays often rely on a wide variety of relevant and
appropriate evidence. For example, sometimes the outcome of a minor line of argument becomes a piece of
evidence, that is, one of the premises of your major line of argument. Sometimes your own observations are
the most important evidence, such as in essays that describe your own experience or achievements (including
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many admission essays as well as reports on your own scientific experiments). And sometimes your evidence is
so obvious or commonplace that it need not be cited, although it might be essential to your argument, such as
the idea that Einstein revolutionized Newtonian physics with his theory of relativity.
The Last Paragraph In a short admission essay, the last paragraph often should do a lot more than sum up
the essay. In contrast, in a long academic essay the body paragraphs tend to lead the reader to a kind of
plateau, followed by a "conclusion" with a markedly different feel: the reader knows the essay is ending. In long
essays, the conclusion can consist of two or three paragraphs or even as much material as an entire admission
essay. A successful scholarship essay, often having a length between that of a short admission essay and a long
academic essay, exhibits the best of both kinds of conclusions.
In other words, a strong scholarship essay does not need to make the conclusion do the double duty of
providing additional content and providing an ending statement at the same time, which is characteristic of a
very short essay. Yet the conclusion of a scholarship essay should do more than simply sum up what has been
presented so far. Likewise, a strong scholarship essay seldom needs a long concluding section. Most of the
points to score have already been scored by the time the conclusion begins. Instead, consider the conclusion as
your opportunity to move your readers from the plateau of your argument to the best place they should visit
next. Remember the metaphor of taking your reader on a trip: from the plateau, you and your reader are best
positioned to see the overall landscape and to make a decision about the next step.
The summary in the last paragraph should be clear (or in some particulars, implied), but some kind of
intelligent, witty, perceptive, motivational, or otherwise interesting further remarks also should appear. What
kind of further remarks you choose will depend on what seems most appropriate to your particular essay.
Finishing Touches
You can write a winning essay without having read any writing guides and without getting any help from others.
But the chances are minimal.
1. Get the reactions of one student or peer reader and one reader above that level (a teacher, parent, boss, or
professor). Best of all, try to find an authoritative reader who has the similar tastes with your intended
audience. Ask them to comment on strong and weak points of your essay.
2. Read your essay aloud to catch typos and, more importantly, to hear the tone and flow of the essay. Read it
to someone, and have that person read it back loud to you. Remember that the reader of your essay will read
as the essay looks on the page, not the way you imagine it sounding in your head. Even so, note that one of
the judges might read individual lines or sentences out loud to persuade other judges that your essay deserves
to win (or to fail). Make sure that your worst three or four sentences are still readable. Just as important, make
sure that your best three or four sentences are memorable and are prize-winning.
SOME USEFUL TRANSITIONS
To show addition:
again, and, also, besides, equally important, first (second, etc.), further, furthermore, in addition, in
the first place, moreover, next, too
To give examples:
for example, for instance, in fact, specifically, that is, to illustrate
To compare:
also, in the same manner, likewise, similarly
To contrast:
although, and yet, at the same time, but, despite, even though, however, in contrast, in spite of,
nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, still, though, yet
To summarize or conclude:
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all in all, in conclusion, in other words, in short, in summary, on the whole, that is, therefore, to
sum up
To show time:
after, afterward, as, as long as, as soon as, at last, before, during, earlier, finally, formerly,
immediately, later, meanwhile, next, since, shortly, subsequently, then, thereafter, until, when,
while
To show place or direction:
above, below, beyond, close, elsewhere, farther on, here, nearby, opposite, to the left (north, etc.)
To indicate logical relationship:
accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, for this reason, hence, if, otherwise, since, so,
then, therefore, thus
(modified from Diana Hacker, A Writer’s Reference)
Simple Starting Strategies:
Ask yourself what your purpose is for writing about the subject.
There are many "correct" things to write about for any subject, but you need to narrow down your choices. For
example, your topic might be "dorm food." At this point, you and your potential reader are asking the same question,
"So what?" Why should you write about this, and why should anyone read it?
Do you want the reader to pity you because of the intolerable food you have to eat there?
Do you want to analyze large-scale institutional cooking?
Do you want to compare Purdue's dorm food to that served at Indiana University?
Ask yourself how you are going to achieve this purpose.
How, for example, would you achieve your purpose if you wanted to describe some movie as the best you've ever
seen? Would you define for yourself a specific means of doing so? Would your comments on the movie go beyond
merely telling the reader that you really liked it?
Start the ideas flowing
Brainstorm. Gather as many good and bad ideas, suggestions, examples, sentences, false starts, etc. as you can.
Perhaps some friends can join in. Jot down everything that comes to mind, including material you are sure you will
throw out. Be ready to keep adding to the list at odd moments as ideas continue to come to mind.
Talk to your audience, or pretend that you are being interviewed by someone -- or by several people, if possible (to
give yourself the opportunity of considering a subject from several different points of view). What questions would the
other person ask? You might also try to teach the subject to a group or class.
See if you can find a fresh analogy that opens up a new set of ideas. Build your analogy by using the word like. For
example, if you are writing about violence on television, is that violence like clowns fighting in a carnival act (that is,
we know that no one is really getting hurt)?
Take a rest and let it all percolate.
Resources Hispanic/Latino Leaders
Visit these links for information on Hispanic/Latino Leaders
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Notable Hispanic-American Leaders and Activists
Notable Hispanic Americans, A-Z
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