The desire to alter the state you’re in: learning, meaning
and identity at the point of transition into higher education
Paper presented at SCUTREA, 32nd Annual Conference, 2-4 July 2002, University of Stirling
Tamsin Haggis, University of Stirling, Scotland
This paper focuses on higher education as a site for adult education. The higher education that adults
in the UK might seek to access in 2002 is in an unprecedented state of change and alteration, creating a
sense of increasing threat and uncertainty. This has, in turn resulted in a variety of attempts to impose
control and order. A manifestation of this is the increasing concern to find out ‘what works’ in
teaching and learning interactions, in the context of a perceived need for ‘evidence-based’ policy and
practice (DfEE, 2000).
The current situation appears to be stimulating a particular strand of research and theorising in relation
to higher education learning. Based in psychology, and concerned with the manipulation and
prediction of the ‘outcomes’ of student learning, this approach stresses random sampling, large studies,
and the use of questionnaires/ factor analysis. This type of research frequently results in the creation
and extension of polar oppositional and hierarchical stage models of learning such as ‘deep’ and
‘surface approaches to learning’, ‘conceptions of learning’ and ‘extrinsic/intrinsic motivation’ (e.g.
Carnwell, 2000; Prosser & Trigwell, 1999; Scott et al, 1998). Whilst the models of learning that have
been produced by this approach appear to have been useful for policy makers, staff developers, and
academics seeking to achieve research credibility (Webb G, 1997), it is less clear how they been of use
to students (Haggis, forthcoming), or to those who might approach what is meant by ‘student learning’
from a different perspective. The large body of research in adult education which engages with issues
of context, culture and experience (e.g. West, 1996; Webb S, 1997) is rarely mentioned in this strand of
the literature, and neither is the considerable range of critical perspectives on higher education learning
(eg. Boud et. al. 1993; Brockbank & McGill, 1998). Context, culture and experience, if discussed, are
referred to in very general terms, frequently being reduced to ‘variables’ that can apparently be
influenced by ‘intervention’ (Krause, 2001; Meyer & Shanahan, 2001). Drawing upon the adult
education/critical perspectives mentioned above, this paper will contrast this psychological approach
with a research approach that attempts to investigate learning as a more complex and situated
phenomenon.
Investigating difference in specific contexts
There appear to have been few attempts to theorise the complexity of learning in any context, and still
fewer in the context of higher education. Schon’s (1983) work on the complexity of professional
practice created a non-technicist recognition of ‘the swampy lowlands’ of professional practices such
as teaching, but there has been no equivalent theorisation of ‘the swampy lowlands’ of learning. The
research discussed here aims to contribute to a discussion in this area. It addresses some of the
questions raised by Sue Webb (1997) in connection with the generic notion of ‘the mature learner’, and
responds to Hanson’s (1996) suggestion of the need to explore ‘differences between adults’. Instead of
seeking to aggregate different elements of the experience of different individuals into categories and
generalised statements about ‘adult learners’, the study attempts to explore something of the dynamics
at play in specific, located examples of learning, in a way that avoids certain types of reduction and
simplification.
A number of recent studies have begun to explore the idea that the situated experience of learning can
be seen as unique to each individual learner (Boud, et. al. 1993; Jenkins et al 2001; Haggis, 2002); a
position which challenges the conception of scientific rigour that underpins the 'evidence-based' type of
educational research referred to above. Deterministic approaches, however, are based on only one
particular conception of science. There are other equally scientific epistemologies, such as those that
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underpin relativity, quantum theory, chaos and complexity theory. These types of theorising are
underpinned by non-determinist assumptions, which result in descriptions of fundamentally non-linear
processes and patterns in phenomena. An example of such non-linear patterning in terms of
understanding human ‘learners’ might be the processes at work in the generation of an individual’s
sense of meaning:
Human beings give meaning to their lives. It behoves us to ask, then, whether causal
explanations still have significance or not, and in what sense, and for which contexts?
(Smeyers, 2001:478)
In place of the assumption underpinning determinist approaches that the knowledge created by
empirical research will eventually make predictions possible (Smeyers, 2001), the approach taken here
experiments with Smeyers notion of ‘indeterminism’ as its underlying principle. Smeyers suggests
that, as ‘nature is lacking in precise determination’, ‘indeterminism’ is in fact a more rational choice as
an over-arching framework for research activity and analysis than determinism (2001: 483). Starting
from this position does not suggest that patterns will not emerge from data, but that the patterns which
do emerge may be different from those which emerge in response to questions about causation and
prediction.
The study: focus and analysis
The longitudinal study reported here aims to explore narratives about the situated experience of
learning in higher education, first on an access course, and then at undergraduate level. Its focus,
overall, is narratives about the processes involved in study (reading, writing essays etc.) which will be
analysed in conjunction with the participants’ stories about school, family, employment and postschool learning history; the ideas they express about ‘learning’, and the nature and purposes of higher
education; and in the context of work and life beyond the university. This paper reports on an initial
analysis of the first round of interviews, which were conducted before the participants had begun their
access course. It thus takes ‘motivation to become an access student’ as its focus. In line with the
theoretical position outlined above, rather than seeking to ‘uncover’ linear relationships or establish
categories, it seeks to explore how different elements combine to form the decision that higher
education is both meaningful and possible at a particular point in the life of an individual.
The participants were invited to take part in the research project by letter, which was sent out after they
had been accepted onto the access course, and before they had begun the first block. After an initial
group meeting to discuss the purpose, nature, and limits of the project, the eleven participants (6
women and 5 men, aged from 26 to over 60) were interviewed individually. They focused on topics
such as family background, educational experience, qualifications, employment history, and talk
around concepts such as ‘learning’, ‘student’, ‘teacher’ and ‘essay’. The taped interviews were then
analysed in terms of different ‘stories’ (family story, school story etc.).
At the first level of analysis the interview data, not surprisingly, can be seen as reflecting themes and
relationships that are similar, or that link, to previous studies of mature learners. As access students,
for example, all of the participants come from families with little or no history of participation in higher
education, and those who describe negative experiences of school have fewer qualifications than those
who describe more positive school experiences. In addition, the employment patterns of the
participants largely fit gendered norms, and the reasons given for entry to university could be grouped
as being mainly ‘vocational’, with a smaller number wanting to study for reasons of ‘personal
development’.
It is also possible to group some elements of the participants’ narratives; for example talk about school
could be categorised as ‘negative' and 'positive'. These patterns of category and relationship, however,
only appear to be sustainable as long as a degree of distance is maintained from the detail of the data.
The closer the analysis comes to the detail of these individual lives, the more they vary. The ‘negative
school stories’ for example, are all very different types of negativity:
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
Graham tells a story of alienation within his family, and from school experience. He moves
schools, his dyslexia is misdiagnosed, he suffers at the hands of an alcoholic teacher and abusive
stepfather, and is held up to his brother as an example of someone the brother should not emulate.

Patricia doesn’t talk of any problems at home, but of a terrific fear of the nuns in her convent
school. This fear seems to have followed her through all of her educational experiences since then.

Will doesn’t talk of really difficult home conditions, though he expresses frustration at how his
mother continually ignored his protests about what was going on at school. He says that he was
aware at the time of being ‘sorted’ into the ‘hopeless class’; the class that made teachers reach for
the alka seltzer, or leave. He has a strong sense of his own consciousness and resistance at the
time.

Sandra’s negativity about school seems to be more related to her relationship with her mother, who
made her help with her catering business every day as soon as Sandra got home from school.
Sandra talks of competitive undercurrents, suspecting that her mother was jealous after getting
pregnant with her when she was 16.

Tim, like Will, talks of being ‘sorted’ into the ‘road to nowhere’ class at school, but he doesn’t
have Wills’ strong memories of resistance. He talks instead about the different events in his life
that gradually made him realise that he ‘wasn’t thick’.
These ‘negative’ stories, in even a little detail, begin to provide some insight into how statements about
the generalised variable referred to as ‘learning engagement history’ (Meyer & Shanahan, 2001) might
manifest itself as difference in the lives of individual ‘learners’ (or at least how they translate into
individual memories and representations of these lives). Arguably this difference raises questions
about the possibility of making predictions about future educational ‘success’ or ‘failure’ from such a
range of different starting points.
This analysis of individual detail raises questions that challenge more than just the psychological strand
of ‘pedagogical’ writing in higher education discussed above. Both policy and research stories about
exclusion and widening access, for example, often seem to suggest that people who have ‘impoverished
educational backgrounds’ (Taylor & Palfreman-Kay, 2000) are living ‘lesser’ lives that those of
‘educated’ people, and it is often assumed that they are looking for an opportunity ‘to do something
better with their lives’ (McFadden, 1995 in Taylor & Palfreman-Kay, 2000). Whilst there is
undoubtedly evidence that this position has been reported by some individuals, the narratives reported
here challenge the validity of this view as a ‘general truth’ about ‘mature learners’. In the five
‘negative stories’ discussed above only two of the five participants presents themselves as doing lowlevel work that they find unsatisfactory. One is doing a challenging professional job which she loves;
another is in a high-level professional role, and qualified to a high level, but feels frustrated and
negative. Another describes a working life that was satisfactory until he was retired due to ill-health.
The ‘positive school stories’ suggest the same diversity. Sheila is now retired, having enjoyed her
career as a health worker; Jack doesn’t regret the years he cared for his mother; Jane is satisfied with
her family of four and now looking for something to do in the evenings. The only one of the
participants with a ‘positive’ school story who does feel highly unsatisfied with her post-school
experiences is bitter because she couldn’t find work after doing an HND. These details within possible
general patterns and categories challenge policy assumptions that higher education is the ‘best’ path for
all possible lives; the notion that mature students are likely to see their pre-university life as a period of
‘wasted potential’ (Webb S, 1997), and the idea that ‘participation’ in further and higher education
inevitably leads to both employment, and satisfaction with employment.
‘Motivation’?
As additional factors such as ‘post-school learning story’ and ‘reason for enrolment’ are added to the
analysis, the participants’ stories become even less similar.

In his teens, Graham seems to assert himself by resisting any further ‘education’; he fights the YTS
mandatory college attendance and gets a special dispensation not to attend any classes. He
develops a liver problem from drinking. Trying to keep him out of the pubs, his mother buys him
a historical novel. This chance intervention seems to change everything. He reads more and more
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history, until his partner eventually persuades him, in his 30s, to do a university evening class. He
finds the teacher inspiring, and begins to consider the possibility of studying history at university.

Patricia, on the other hand, does do some college courses after school. But they seem only to
compound her sense of negativity about education. She talks of being humiliated by college
teachers, and wondering why she never gets any satisfaction from any of her educational
achievements. Her reason for doing the access course seems to be partly the result of pressure to
‘get qualified’ in her field, and partly to overcome her fear of education.

Will’s story about doing courses in his workplace centres around the theme of constantly being
‘blocked’ in his attempts to learn. His superiors don’t want him to get on, and keep making him
repeat basic computer courses. They seem to hate that he is going to get time off to go to
university, and apparently try to undermine his confidence. Aiming for university seems in some
ways to be a form of resistance, which has built up over a long time.

Sandra has done a whole range of professional courses, and is thus ‘successful’ in educational
terms. But this is not how she appears to see herself. She seems frustrated and desperate for
change. Multiple things seem to have come together to make university seem important, and
possible, now: a change of circumstances in returning from abroad to find unsatisfactory work,
divorce, her child now at the age that it is possible to arrange childcare.

Tim did a lot of courses during his time in the prison service, and also has taught himself to play an
instrument. He talks of slowly gaining confidence in his ability to learn over this time. His
‘triggers’ for doing the access course seem multiple: the loss of his job, personal and existential
issues related to facing death, and the timing of his wife having finished her degree.
As the various stories unfold, the original category of ‘vocational motivation’ that appeared to be valid
at the first level of analysis seems to become less and less meaningful. Graham is tired of working
seven day shifts in his chicken farm, and wants to get time off like everyone else. But his desire to
study history, to share his excitement about it with others, and his hope to become a historian and an
author, seem to be connected to existential issues that cannot be captured by the simple notion of
‘extrinsic’ or ‘work-related’ motivation. His talk expresses a search for new kinds of meaning and the
creation of new forms of identity, which cannot be separated out from the social, cultural and
experiential context which the different elements of his story attempt to describe.
Patricia does want her qualification, to stop people criticising her for receiving a professional salary
without having a professional qualification. She seems also to want some kind of official verification
of the informal recognition she has received professionally for years. But she also wants to find out
about something that she says other people have seen in her that she cannot see in herself. She talks
about being in the dark about some aspect of her self, and seems to feel that somehow a work-related
qualification in higher education will bring her the illumination she seeks. She talks a lot about ‘hangups’ and ‘baggage’, and seems to be forcing herself to counter an enormous fear of education in
attempt to achieve this end.
Will certainly wants to get away from his job as a security guard and find better employment
circumstances. But it seems inadequate to describe his strong sense of agency, his determination to
defy all the people he feels have tried to keep him down, as an ‘instrumental’ desire to ‘get a better
job’. While Patricia is facing the first stage of higher education with what she describes as a kind of
blankness, keeping her potential fear of the unknown at a safe distance, Will is so terrified that he has
memorised a study skills book from cover to cover. He is hoping this will be some kind of protection
against being put on the spot in his first classes on the access course. In the end the interview has to be
abandoned in order to allow a conversation around his anxiety. Despite all of this, he keeps control
with the use of humour, and his determination to study seems to be unwavering.
Sandra also expresses an extremely strong sense of agency. She has a good job, but it is not what she
wants. She divides working people into two groups; those that are apathetic and disengaged, and those
who are passionately involved in what they do. She has seen people operating from the second position
and is captivated – she knows that she has never felt like that, and she wants to find out how to become
like them. She does wants to use university study to get ‘a better job’, but her desire to change
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direction in her career seems inseparable from her sense of who she is, who she is not, and who she
wants to be. Tim also originally expresses the desire to get a degree so that he can get a better job. But
he is quite philosophical about whether or not the degree will actually make any difference; his son
ended up being a prison officer, like Tim, even though he had an engineering degree. Tim seems to
want to study to take a positive step away from potential depression after retiring from work, facing
serious illness, and thinking he would never be employed again.
Some of the factors involved in these decisions to study at university certainly could be expressed as
categories such as ‘change of circumstances’, ‘emotional trauma’, or ‘relationship with others’. But the
nature of the change, or trauma, is different in each case, and for some people there appears to be no
obvious change or trauma. Questions relating to category-type, or causal relationship, arguably seem
to contribute little to an attempt to understand ‘learners themselves within real life situations’ (Hanson,
1996: 103).
Questions about the ways in which different aspects of purpose, meaning, agency and identity appear to
constitute each other within these individual stories do not easily find a place in the psychological
strand of higher education pedagogical theorising referred to at the start of this paper. Notions such as
‘deep/surface’ approach or ‘vocational/ personal’ motivation, however, do not seem adequate to
capture the multiple ways in which histories, circumstances and desires coalesce into these decisions to
consider higher education at this particular time. Though this analysis cannot provide the neatness and
closure increasingly demanded of educational research, it perhaps can offer some insight into how
higher education learning can become part of different processes of meaning-construction at particular
points in some people’s lives.
One of the reasons that it seems important to try to theorise the complex, multifactorial nature of
learning as an individual and situated process is because arguably it is the unnamed and unexpected
factors and interrelationships (which deterministic models take no account of) which are usually the
cause of unpredictable outcomes. It is not surprising that actions based on generalised, deterministic
models often do not result in the changes which teachers and policy makers are hoping for. When there
are no conceptual tools available for thinking about situated complexity, the only response possible
from within the deterministic framework seems to be to blame the individual study or methodology.
This paper has tried to present some tentative ideas towards the creation of some different tools for
thought.
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