Minor Grand Moistion Unification Theory
For every astronomical equipment purchase, there is an equal or greater meteorological response,
mediated by Moistions, but also mitigated by the presence of Transportations, which themselves
derive in direct proportion from the intensity of the hopes, wishes, and vain expectations of folks
living in less arid climes. The promulgation and propagation of the Transportations results in the
movement (transport) of postulated Moistions via some mechanism from arid areas of purchase to
these aforementioned areas of humidity and psychic doldrum. The overall effect: one orders an
eyepiece in Tempe AZ, it rains in Scranton, PA. QED.
Further, one can readily imagine the existence of equal but opposite anti-particles I have named
Desertions, whose effect is to diminish or counteract the effect of Moistions in arid regions (they
may be thought of as "repelling" Moistions, just as Transportations can be thought of as
"attracting" Moistions) and which similarly are themselves created via the psychic expectations of
the populace indigenous to dry climates (deserts) for little or no precipitation/plenty of sunshine.
A unification of sorts may be achieved with the grand theory if it is asserted that there are psychic
particles called Expectations, whose nature is determined by the prevalent meteorological belief
system/intensity of the folks in the area anticipating/receiving the astronomical equipment. These
primary Expectation particles, upon release, spontaneously undergo fission: in arid areas to
Desertions and Disproportionations, and in humid climes into Transportations and
Disproportionations. Thus, anticipation/receipt of equipment into a dry (desert) area results in
propagation of high concentrations of Desertions and Disproportionations via Expectation fission.
Similar circumstances in humid areas result in high concentrations of Transportations and
Disproportionations via Expectation fission. In this sense, the Expectations themselves can be
considered to have the innate property called "mood", which is the determining factor for which
primary particles they will disassociate into.
The propagation of Disproportionations through two similar but opposite mechanisms helps to
explain the magnitude and geographical shift between astro purchase and meteorological
response; their effects are seen in both small localized showers, dust devils, etc., as well as major
weather events such as hurricanes.