Com11 – Essay04_Thesis Statement
Writing a Thesis
Marks:
/15
Writing a Thesis
After viewing the PowerPoint Lesson: The first step in writing an effective essay is finding a
strong thesis. The thesis is more than the main idea of your essay; it makes a point about your
subject. You should try to avoid some of the common mistakes people make when creating a
thesis: your thesis should be neither too broad nor too narrow; it should not merely announce
your subject, and it should not contain more than one idea.
1. ExampleToo Broad: Many people have problems with their cars. Why? Too broad to
be supported adequately with specific details in a single paragraph.
2. ExampleToo Narrow: My car is a Toyota Camry. Why? This is too narrow to be
expanded into a paragraph. It is a simple fact and needs no support.
3. ExampleAnnouncement: The subject of this paper will be my girlfriend. Why?
Announces subject rather than being a topic.
4. ExampleMore than one idea: The divorce rate is increasing for several reasons, and
children should be considered before a couple gets a divorce. Why? There are two
distinctly different topics in this thesis.
Activity 1 5 marks
Directions: Beginning with a strong thesis is an important first step. Practice developing a thesis
that is neither too broad nor too narrow for each of the following subjects. The first two have been
completed for you. Your thesis must have the 3 points you will discuss in each paragraph clearly
stated as in the examples below.
General Subject
Limited Subject
Thesis
Buying a used car
Buying a used car to get to
school was the worst
mistake last year as it was
unreliable, expensive to
operate, and led to an
accident.
Sports
Player's salaries
High player's salaries are
bad for the game, for the
fans, and for the values
our children are
developing.
1. Family
Brothers/sisters
2. Television
Reality shows
3. School
Math teachers
4. Chores
Yard work
5. Authority
My parents
Cars
Activity 2
The first step in writing an effective essay is finding a strong thesis. The thesis is more than the
main idea of your essay; it makes a point about your subject. You should try to avoid some of the
common mistakes people make when creating a thesis: your thesis should be neither too broad
nor too narrow; it should not merely announce your subject, and it should not contain more than
one idea.
Directions: In the following exercise, identify the problem with each of these potential thesis
statements. Is it too broad? Too narrow? An announcement rather than a statement? Does it
contain more than one idea? Or do you think the thesis is okay? Boldface or circle the statement
that best expresses your answer. 10 marks
1 Computers have changed our society.
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay
2 The subject of this paper is alcoholism.
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay
3 My childhood was extremely stimulating, although in many ways I was sheltered.
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay
4 I will discuss the problem of drug addiction in this essay.
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
5
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay
There are three important steps we could take to deal with the problem of
drug addiction in this country.
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay
6 When I was a kid, my favorite movie was "Star Wars."
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay
7 We must do something about crime.
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay
8 Television programs promote many stereotypes, yet they also can contain
positive messages.
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay
9 There are more children who are homeless now than there were during the
depression.
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay
10 Celebrities lead very stressful lives, for no matter how glamorous or powerful
they are, they have too little privacy, too much pressure, and no safety.
a) Too Broad
b)
c)
d)
e)
Too Narrow
Announcement
More than One Idea
Okay