Writing Strong Paragraphs,
Introductions and Conclusions
Contents
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What is an Essay?
Arguments and Evidence
The Structure of an Essay
The Building Blocks of Essays: Paragraphs
Guidelines for Writing Good Paragraphs
Introductions
Conclusions
What is an Essay?
Essays are the most commonly assigned form of writing at University and are central to the academic process. Through
essays, scholars communicate with one another; in them, professors and students present data to one another and explain
new ways of thinking about ideas or events.
Professors assign essays to you because they want to give you the opportunity to think, in a deep and prolonged manner,
about a topic. They want you to examine a historical question, create a unique and interesting answer to that question, and
use sound historical evidence to prove that answer.
While they can take many forms and range in length from one page to thirty or more pages, academic essays share a set of
central characteristics. Most significantly, all essays are made up of two basic elements—an argument and evidence—and
they generally all follow a similar writing structure.
Contents
Arguments and Evidence
First, let us consider what we mean by the idea that essays are made up of arguments and evidence.
Arguments
 The arguments within the essay are your interpretations of a given topic or answer to a question.
 Take, for example, an essay assessing the impact of Prime Minister Diefenbaker’s reaction to the Cuban Missile
Crisis; your argument would be YOUR assessment of what that impact was. For example: Prime Minister
Diefenbaker’s indecisiveness during the Cuban Missile Crisis not only damaged his chances of re-election but also
hurt Canada’s image abroad.
 Your arguments are summarized in a clear thesis statement that is presented at the beginning of the essay. For
more information on how to write a strong thesis statement, please see the module entitled Constructing an
Argument.
Evidence
 The evidence in an essay is the information and examples that you use to prove to the reader that your argument
is convincing.
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Evidence can take the form of historical events, figures, concepts, images, or historical documents or literature
that are relevant to the argument that you are making.
The evidence is generally presented in the body of your essay. In presenting it, you need not only to give the
example, paraphrase, or quotation, but also explain how it illustrates the arguments that you are making.
Contents
The Structure of an Essay
Whether they are two pages in length or fifteen, most essays follow a similar structure.
Introduction
 Essays always begin with a clear introduction. The introduction sets up the historical question, presents a clear
thesis to the reader, and establishes the scope of the essay--the time period, places, and subjects discussed in the
essay.
 In a short paper, the introduction is one paragraph in length. In a longer paper (over ten pages), it could be two
or three paragraphs in length. Introductions will be covered in more detail later in this module.
Body Paragraphs
 Following the introduction, the essay contains body paragraphs. These paragraphs systematically, and in a logical
order, develop and prove each argument. In the body paragraphs, you present and explain the evidence that
supports your argument.
 There is no set number of body paragraphs for an essay (you are NO LONGER writing only five-paragraph essays).
Use as many paragraphs as you need to develop the arguments within your argument.
Conclusion
 The essay ends with a clear conclusion. The conclusion brings together the points made in the essay and draws
out their larger significance.
 In a short paper, the conclusion is one paragraph in length. In a longer paper (over ten pages), it could be two or
three paragraphs in length. Conclusions will be covered in more detail later in this module.
Contents
The Building Blocks of Essays: Paragraphs
Whether you are writing the introduction or the body of your essay, you will always be writing paragraphs. Indeed, the
paragraph is the most basic building block of the essay. It is essential, then, for you to familiarize yourself with how a good,
clear paragraph is constructed.
What is a good paragraph?
 A good paragraph is a group of sentences that is unified around ONE central point.
 This point is expressed clearly in a topic sentence.
 This point is then developed in the paragraph through details, examples, and explanations.
 A good paragraph is like a mini-essay; it begins with a clear topic sentence and develops the point in that
sentence through examples and discussion.
Contents
Guidelines for Writing Good Paragraphs
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Make sure that you and your reader are clear on the ONE main point that the paragraph is trying to make.
In general, paragraphs in an essay should be about 150-200 words. Avoid overly long paragraphs as they usually
cover more than one main point and leave your reader confused. Don’t be afraid to start a new paragraph!
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Avoid one or two sentence paragraphs.
Transitions are words or phrases that connect ideas and/or show the relationship between them. Use transitions to
connect the sentences within your paragraphs. Examples of transitional words and phrases include: • Nevertheless
• However • Therefore • In addition • As a result • Equally important
You can also use transitional statements at the beginning and/or end of paragraphs to connect the paragraph to
the paragraphs before or after as well as to your thesis
Contents
Introductions
Of all the different paragraphs, many people consider introductions the most difficult to write. This is because the
introduction must grab the reader’s attention and provide an absolutely clear, but sufficiently concise explanation of the
paper’s main point. In a shorter paper, the introduction will only be one paragraph. In a longer paper, it could be lengthier
and involve multiple paragraphs.
Structure of the Introduction
1. Grab the reader’s attention and introduce the historical question the paper will explore.
2. Clearly explain the scope of the essay - the time period, places, and subjects discussed in the essay.
3. Give basic background if needed and explain the historical setting.
4. State thesis and give an overview of main points or categories of evidence.
5. You can also use your introduction to introduce your main primary sources, if used, historiography, or theoretical
framework.
Good Ideas for the Introduction
 Begin with a quotation and show its relevance
 Or, begin with a story, example, or anecdote
 Or, begin with a paradox or apparent contradiction
 Or, emphasize the difference between your evidence or interpretation and the arguments of other scholars
 Always provide background information and establish the historical setting if necessary
 Always clearly state your thesis and provide a road map to your reader of what is to come
What to Avoid in the Introduction
 Using dictionary definitions
 Echoing the instructor’s question exactly
 Using inflated declaration or a cliché (Throughout human history; The more things change, the more they stay the
same)
 Apologizing for the deficiencies in the paper
 Quoting extensively – the words and ideas should be your own
 Including gratuitous personal preambles (such as long digressions about your personal feelings about a topic).
Contents
Conclusions
Like the introduction, the conclusion can be a challenging paragraph to write. This is because the conclusion must review
the main points without being repetitive or boring.
Structure of the Conclusion
1. Sum up and review your main points.
2. Re-examine your thesis in light of everything that you have proven
3.
Point toward the larger significance of your ideas. If your readers now believe everything in your thesis, what do
they now know and why is it important? In other words, so what?
Good Ideas for Conclusions
 If your essay began with a question, include the answer in your conclusion
 Use a short, significant quotation or anecdote that summarizes the main intent of the essay
 If your essay pointed out a problem, suggest solutions
 Widen the perspective of what you have discussed; in light of your thesis, what does your reader now know about
a given time period?
What to Avoid in the Conclusion
 The phrase, “In conclusion, I have shown that…”
 Recopying your topic sentences or introduction exactly
 Putting in minor details or afterthoughts
 Using inflated declarations or cliché
 Apologizing for what you failed to do in the essay
 Going off in an entirely new or unrelated direction
From the VCE VCAA website is some further advice
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The best essays referred closely to the terms in the question and used a range of evidence to support their
interpretation.
Generalizations appeared too often in 2010. Students should beware of broad statements such as
‘everybody lost confidence in the Tsar’ and ‘ ... contributed greatly’, as answers need to be specific and
address the question directly.
Essays that lacked precise evidence and presented a generalized view did not receive high marks
Too often, historians’ views were used in place of evidence rather than as an opinion to support the
evidence. Students should supply their own factual evidence and confirm it with an historian’s viewpoint
rather than only use the viewpoint.
The highest scoring essays used specific factual evidence such as statistics, quotes, dates, names, policies or
events to support all their points.
Weaker responses tended to narrate, describing anything about the revolution, often without clear
relevance.
The best answers showed an excellent range of knowledge and responded well to the cue ‘how did’. They
showed a clear understanding of the contribution of events to the revolutionary situation and explained the
steps in a logical sequence.
Excellent responses used correct and specific historical terms and included dates, places and names.
However, many students simply supplied a list of events or a narrative without making the connection to
the role these events played in bringing on the revolution.
On the whole, students displayed their knowledge of relevant information and usually used the time frame
given in the question.
Students should signpost their answer so that their points are clearly evident. Some students signposted
their response very well by using ‘firstly’, ‘secondly’ and ‘thirdly’ to note their points, or language such as
‘furthermore’ to link points, which helped them to build their position about the onset of the revolution.
The following is an example of a high-scoring response to Question 1 on Russia. This answer shows a
strong command of the buildup leading towards the unrest of 1905 and the introduction of the Manifesto. It
clearly points out how the development progressed from the defeat and indicates a pathway for the
revolution.
The unexpected defeat of Russia in the Russo–Japanese War was highly significant in contributing to a revolutionary situation by
1905. Firstly, soldiers who were angered by the harsh conditions they had endured during the war and their humiliating defeat,
began to revolt in certain instances like the mutiny of the Battleship Potemkin in 1905. This allowed the Tsar to understand the
seriousness of the possible threat to his power. What is more, this same dissatisfaction with the defeat and disillusionment with
the Tsar was re-echoed amongst urban population as people were shocked that Tsarist Russia had succumbed so easily to an
Asian nation which had been held in contempt as inherently inferior. The fact that nearly half the Russian fleet had been sunk in
the Battle of Tsushima Straits (May 1905) shocked the Russian people and led them to question the supposed infallibility and
omnipotence of their aristocratic leader, Nicholas II. Furthermore, the cost of engagement in the war had compounded the
already serious economic problems, causing a decline in living standards and consequently simmering dissatisfaction that
threatened to over boil. e.g. In Russian cities there were an average 16 people to an apartment and factory workers endured 60
hour working weeks. Thus the ‘spark’ of the January Bloody Sunday massacre caused the flames of revolution to arise. Finally
the fact that angry sailors and soldiers were returning to St. Petersburg in October 1905 as a massive general strike was raging,
forced the Tsar to take action because he knew they could otherwise add to the growing unrest and lead to a full blown
revolution. Thus the Tsar introduced the October Manifesto which promised reform in October 17 1905.
The following is an example of a high-scoring student response on the Russian Revolution.
Lenin’s adaptation of Marxism ensured the communist revolution was shaped around Leninism rather than the traditional
Marxism. It was Lenin’s ‘April Thesis’ that became the blueprint for the Bolshevik revolution, detailing not only key policies
of Leninism, but also methods of implementation. From Marx’s theory of ‘workers of the world unite’, the revolution passed
into the hands of the Bolshevik elite, ‘the vanguard of the revolution’, who would carry out an insurrection on behalf of the
proletariat. Additionally, although his slogan was ‘Peace, Bread, Land’, Lenin encouraged further revolution in order to
achieve a global
communist uprising, hence promoting violent situations. Hence Lenin transferred revolutionary action into the hands of an elite
violent minority.
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Use of evidence remains a defining skill between the mid-range and high scoring essays.
Many students simply used knowledge as evidence, while the best answers use detailed facts and/or
historians’ viewpoints.
Some descriptions of student work to bear in mind that help define levels of achievement in essays are:
• five: may be narrative in style, little real evidence is given
• six: not all of the question is addressed
• seven: provides a clear and relevant argument
• eight: confident, but falls short; the subtleties of the question are not fully addressed
• nine-ten: sophisticated with subtle inferences.
Part of a response to Question 5 that was assessed as representative of an eight follows.
‘The new government often had difficulty consolidating its power because it failed to deal effectively
with the crises that had confronted the old regime.’
Discuss this view, providing evidence to support your answer.
The response missed ‘easily’ in the question and fell short because it seemed to lapse into a change and continuity
style essay in parts. A redeeming feature is the student’s strong knowledge and use of historians.
In 1917 Russia underwent two revolutions, the first in March where 303 years of Romanov Tsarism was ended with the
abdication of the Tsar, and a Provisional Government and the Petrograd Soviet took over governing Russia as Dual power; and
the second when Lenin and his Bolshevik party overthrew the Provisional government in November to begin a one party
dictatorship. The aim of these revolutions had been to create a utopian Marxist society, where ‘each [worked] to their ability and
each to their needs’, in a classless, industrially advanced state. Although communism was seen as failed by 1991, Soviet
historians would maintain that it had been worth pursuing the utopian dream. Other historians like American Richard Pipes, will
say that the revolution had failed to create any sort of a new society. However, historians like Adcock say that some of the
expectations of the revolution had been achieved, if not politically, then socially and economically.
[The student misses ‘easily’ in the question.]
Politically, it would seem that the new society had failed the expectations of a liberal government; the new one party state was
just as authoritarian as the autocratic Tsarist regime had been. Continued reliance on police state to suppress opposition is
evidence of that, with the Cheka under Lenin little if nothing changed from the Tsar’s Okhrana. And like the Tsar, political
parties were banned. Censorship was still keeping people from voicing their opinions. Although the revolution had been in the
name of the workers, they still had no political power. The Kronstadt revolt in 1921 in response to the economic crisis of War
Communism, demanded many of the same things as at the start of the revolution, showing that they had not been achieved.
The fact that the revolt was put down by force draws a parallel with Bloody Sunday, when the workers demanded reforms. This
shows that the new society had hardly been created, as it had so much in common with the old.
It is here where historians like Richard Pipes would say the revolution brought ‘no change’, and MacDonald would say although
it had started out as a genuine revolution with high expectations, the movement had been betrayed by the Bolsheviks. However,
historians are partial to bias, and Pipes is an anti Bolshevik and extremely critical of their actions. In this aspect it would seem
true that the expectations of the revolution had not been established in a new society.
[‘Easily’ has still not been addressed. It is starting to resemble a ‘change and continuity’ essay.]
Socially, ‘what was at the bottom of Russia now came top most’ (Reed). One expectation had at least been achieved – a whole
ruling class had been wiped out – the Tsar’s family was executed in 1920 July, and the aristocracy lost all their social privileges
and positions. Everyone was now equals, and during the Provisional Government’s term, social rights were recognized. To that
extent a new society had been created, there were no more class divisions – everyone was a worker for the state. However, social
rights granted under the Provisional Government were taken away in Lenin’s term during his revolutionary government, when
special measures were taken to face civil war crisis. Although this suggests social expectations weren’t achieved after all, the
equality of persons still remained. No one at any time was better off or were more privileged than anyone else. Even Lenin the
leader, led a modest life. So the expectation of equality still remained in the new society.
Economically, Adcock says that there had been most change. The first change was not a very positive one, War Communism was
introduced in 1918 and lasted until 1921. All produce was given to the government to be redistributed among Russians at state
distribution centers and ration cards. It was seen by some to be a full blown attempt to quickly introduce Communism into
Russia, and a response to civil war by others. Regardless, it was a disaster as famine and inflation rose exceptionally. To revive
the economy, Lenin introduced the NEP in 1921; it was certainly an opposite direction of what the expectations of the revolution
had