HISTORIA MAGISTRA VITAE EST: Learning from Past Mistakes
Common problems, questions and advice:
Content
Essays are meant to build upon the material covered in lecture, so please feel free to use
images, artefacts, or case studies discussed in lecture. However, essays should take this
information a step further, adding more depth, detail, and analysis of the sources. This is
particularly true of PRIMARY sources, aptly named as the accounts you should read first.
Essays that merely reiterate lecture notes will not attain good marks, nor will they develop
your analytical abilities, which is the primary goal of the course.
PLEASE NOTE: The most fundamental difference in writing a university essay (compared
with one for secondary education) is that YOU MUST CHOOSE THE RELEVANT
MATERIALS AND STANCE FOR AN ANSWER. If you are trying to figure out what I
WANT for an answer, then you are asking the wrong question. There are NO RIGHT or
WRONG answers, there is NO CHECKLIST OF POINTS that you are expected to cover.
So long as you answer the question and support your arguments with critical and detailed
analysis of evidence: you can formulate whatever line of argument you would like, using
whatever material you deem worthy.. but please be selective! If you think that you cannot
include all the relevant material; then don’t! You do not need to show that you know every
possible point or source of evidence (students often attempt this, and the result is a catalogue
of numerous points and sources, which reveals a broad but superficial knowledge of materials
(=a low mark). Two excellent essays on a topic can be completely different (opposing points,
sources) but they will share the following: a compelling argument (and often an innovative
approach) that is well supported by detailed critical analysis of a few sources.
Structure
The most common mistakes in Essays have to do with structure. An essay without structure is
often evident from the first paragraph (the intro) where a clear response to the question and a
clear structure (outlining 2-3 main arguments in an essay) should be set out. To attain a level
of depth in your analysis, you should not have more than 3 different arguments/points that
you are making. Each of these points should be supported by a thoughtful treatment of
evidence (1-2 examples). If you can begin an essay with a clear answer and line of argument,
then you are already on your way to a success. If I read the 1st paragraph and I can’t see your
answer or how you intend to support it, then problems tend to emerge.
TIP *After you write the conclusion, re-read your introduction. Do the two match up?
Essays (and the minds that create them) are organic and can change as we write. If your essay
has changed during the writing process (this often happens: you decide one argument could
be the whole essay or the third point seems weak…). Don’t be afraid to re-evaluate or cut
throughout the writing process, it is far easier to scrap an argument you that haven’t written
than it will be to cut it later. Changes in an essay are often positive, and the ability to edit your
own work, to cut an argument that is weak, is an excellent skill to develop (and eventually
you will start to catch mistakes and/or problems as you are write). If you do make changes, be
sure to reflect this in the introduction. Identifying and employing changes takes time. If you
want to develop these skills, you should finish writing at least 1-2 days before the deadline, so
that you can edit with a critical eye (which you won’t have at 11am after an all-nighter, an
hour before an essay is due). Looking critically at an essay after you’ve handed it in is the
epitome of “shutting the gate after the horse has bolted”: while it may develop your editorial
skills, it does not let you employ (and thus benefit) from changes.
What is a thoughful treatment of evidence?
Lectures are designed to illustrate thoughtful analysis, and to encourage your active
participation in this process. Seminars are designed especially to hone these skills with dates
about specific evidence, events and topics. Thoughtful treatment of evidence is NOT:
1. A general quote from a secondary source which interprets the evidence: e.g. Osborne
says “the evidence of Cyrene shows economic motives for colonisation"
> A direct quote from Osborne is necessary only if you plan to analyse and/or contradict it.
Obsborne’s summary does not deal directly with evidence nor does it show what you know.
How did Osborne reach this conclusion? By assessing primary sources! That is what you are
meant to do as well! You need to look at the archaeological evidence and lit sources, what
are the limitations of these sources, what can you take from them? THAT is your argument.
If you have come to a similar conclusion to Osborne, then you can reference him in a footnote
as a source that supports you. If you use a quote from Osborne INSTEAD of analysing
primary evidence, then you have not engaged directly with the evidence to create an argument
(which is the purpose of the formal essay).
2. Including an image of an artefact without further discussion. Material evidence is also
a primary source and it too requires interpretation. An image or a passage from an ancient
historian that is dropped into the text WITHOUT further comment (e.g. saying merely "This
passage/vase shows how the hoplite formation works..") does not show direct engagement or
analysis of the materials. If you quote a primary source passage or provide an image (and you
should!), your analysis should consider how and why an historical passage or artefact
illustrates a point (e.g. explain Herodotus’ passage illustrates the difficulties of colonisation
and why (or why not) you trust him as a source). For an image, be sure to describe what’s
there (where did it come from? How is it reliable/unreliable) and please provide a high quality
image, which will allow you and the reader, a better chance to interact with the materials.
3. An essay that leaps back and forth through time and space
I do not possess a Delorean or a flex capacitor and while flashbacks work in film and TV they
can be confusing and disruptive in a history essay (most importantly, they may not convey an
understanding of historic events). In structuring an essay and an argument it is crucial to keep
a sense of the chronological framework for historical events: one event can often have a
"knock-on" effect on subsequent events and attitudes. Losing the thread of causality can
weaken an argument.
Bibliography & Footnoting When to quote... when to footnote..
Fundamentally, a footnote is a way of showing the reader where your information has come
from. It is key in avoiding plagiarism because it gives credit to sources from which certain
ideas and analysis have originated. I have often been asked "how many footnotes should I
have per page?"; there is not a right answer, but there should be a balance: if you have an
entire page without any footnotes you are probably at an undesirable end of the spectrum.
Equally, if you have a footnote in every sentence (or 10+ per page), it can imply that your
essay is somewhat lacking in independent thought. Here are some basic guidelines:
If you are dealing with general information, e.g. the date of the Battle of Marathon, location
of the battle, names of generals, this need not be footnoted (*unless, like the Trojan War,
there is an ongoing debate about the date*). PLEASE NEVER FOOTNOTE OR QUOTE
WIKIPEDIA OR AN ENCYCLOPEDIA. However, if you are citing a specific figure or
information: how many men died, how many men fought in a battle, this needs to be
footnoted to the primary account (Herodotus, Book, Chapter) OR the historian/ archaeologist
who has come up with these numbers through analysis. Similarly, if you are looking at a vase
and you see Achilles and Penthesilea fighting, his skin is dark and her skin is white
(something that is represented in the picture) then you do not need to footnote this. However,
if you choose to comment on the exotic quality her Phrygian sandals, then that expert
knowledge (which I assume you do not yet possess) should be attributed to Osborne.
If you are discussing a battle or historic event and providing a list of the different things that
happened, you should provide a footnote referencing the account (e.g Herodotus or
Thucydides, Chapter, book), this is important as some accounts don't agree. You should
always read the primary source account of an event (Penguin translations are excellent and
widely available) or in a pinch, online translation can be used (though these are sometimes in
arcane language (out of copyright), which can require its own translation). Unless you
translate the work yourself (If you do, you need to say where your Latin/Greek text came
from) you must also credit the translation in the Bibliography.
If there is a passage that illustrates the brutality of fighting, the character of a general or
flourish with which Herodotus writes his history, this can be quoted in the text as evidence,
but be sure to follow the passage with a specific discussion/analysis of the langauge,
character, etc. it illustrates. If there is a vase that depicts Hoplite warfare, put the image in the
text (footnote: where you got the image from and when you accessed the website) but be sure
to discuss what it shows, do not just drop evidence and expect the reader to connect the dots.
If a secondary source has noted an obscure fact about the fluteplayers in the vase scene, you
can summarise this in your own words and cite it with a footnote. The only time it is
absolutely necessary to quote a secondary source directly in an essay is if you plan to analyse
the scholar's response. If you disagree with the role of the fluteplayers on a Hoplite scene
vase, then you should quote the scholar with an opposing view, so that you can argue with his
wording, his point or his interpretation of the scene. Please do not quote secondary sources as
"analysis" instead of making your own and avoid using their eloquence to finish your
statements "for man is a giddy thing.. and this is my conclusion” (Benedict in the final scene
of Shakespeare’s, Much Ado About Nothing).
When in doubt about whether or quote or footnote consider how you are using the evidence:
is this evidence something that I analyse as a focal point in my argument? If so, include it as a
quote. If it is something that supplements your argument but is not subject to further analysis,
it can probably be footnoted. If you are wondering if you need to footnote something,
consider this: Can you explain how you came upon specific information? If you don't have
enough history of art experience to identify the stylistic aspects of Phrygian sandals, then you
should footnote the source, if you cannot explain how you came up with the figure of 50,000
citizens in Athens or the costs of export duties on Delos, then you should credit the source. If
you can see the shielded men fighting or note the eye contact between Achilles and
Penthesilea on a vase, then you don't need to footnote it.