1
Matthew 5:20-26 - A Better Way: Anger Management 101
Doug Partin – The Christian Church – May 20, 2012
The Christian Herald once carried an article about a senior executive
of one of the largest banks in New York City. He told how he had risen
to a place of prominence and influence. At first he served as an office
boy. Then one day the president of the company called him aside and
said, “I want you to come into my office and be with me each day.” The
young man replied, “But what could I do to help you, sir? I don’t know
anything about finances.”
“Never mind that! You will learn what I want to teach you a lot
faster if you just stay by my side and keep your eyes and ears open!”
The executive said, “That was the most significant experience of my life,
being with that wise man made me just like him. I began to do things
the way he did, and that accounts for what I am today.”
The Scribes and the Pharisees thought that they were on that
same path because they spent so much time with God’s word. They not
only preserved the text, but they memorized it, debated it, and
meditated on it. They considered themselves not only to be the experts
on God’s way of living, but to be the prime examples of doing so. Their
“righteousness” was well known because they made sure everyone was
looking their way; but unbeknownst to them, what the average person
in ancient Judea saw were not leaders who looked like God, but leaders
whose hearts were far from their actions.
Jesus confronted the hypocrisy of these leaders by commenting
on the sixth commandment. Everyone at that time would have known
what Moses had told their ancestors in that command: “Thou shalt not
murder.” They had heard the Scribes and Pharisees teach on that
command their whole lives, and what they heard from them was that it
was okay to be consumed with anger so long as you didn’t act on it in
such a way as to cause another person’s death. If you were to end up
murdering someone, then the courts would decide what should be
done.
2
Through their debates, their study, they came to understand and
teach that it was okay to express your anger in ways other than
murder. They were especially fond of expressing it verbally. The insults
they were famous for making and enumerated by Jesus in our text don’t
sound that bad, do they?
Calling your brother Raca, which literally means “empty,” was
their way of saying that someone was “good-for-nothing.” We imply
that about people all the time. We get frustrated when someone
doesn’t do things our specific way; or when our order doesn’t get filled
properly at a fast food restaurant; or when someone doesn’t get things
done in a timely fashion. In our frustration, we consider them
worthless. We may not say that they are good for nothing, but we will
say something like “they’re one fry short of a happy meal.”
And we often call people “morons” which is most often translated
“fool” in our text. Of course, we use acceptable terms, taking our cues
from people like Bill Engvall. In his stand-up comedy routine he said,
“Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, ‘I'm Stupid’; That
way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
anything. It would be like, “Excuse me...oops, never mind. I didn't see
your sign.”
“It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes
and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My friend comes over
and says, ‘Hey, you moving?’ ‘Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign.’”
We laugh, it’s funny, and we say “Here’s your sign” about the
people around us. It isn’t nice, but it doesn’t come close to slander
either; just a little sarcasm, just a bit of humor. But Jesus said that if He
were in charge, then those who speak this way would be taken before
the Sanhedrin, which was their highest court, and put on trial; and if
they were found guilty, the punishment would be the fire of hell. Only
the Sanhedrin could issue the death penalty, and that’s obviously what
Jesus said these crimes deserved.
Jesus made it pretty clear that the issue being addressed in the
sixth commandment is anger. I found it interesting and you may too,
3
that the Greek word we translate anger was originally used to indicate
the outward expression of an inner passion. It is a word you know well,
but we don’t usually apply it to outbursts of hostility. It is the term
orge, from which we get word orgasm.
But the way this word is used in the New Testament indicates a
measure of awareness and deliberation about this passion’s expression.
James said that everyone is to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and
slower to orge (Jm. 1:19). And Paul said that when you orge, don’t sin,
don’t let the sun go down on your anger; don’t give the devil an
opportunity. (Eph. 4:26-27)
Unlike the way we use this word today, the apostles indicated
that anger is not something that is beyond our control; it is not
something that has to consume us. When this passion begins stirring
inside us due to some frustration, we have a choice as to how we are
going to handle the situation long before we ever express it; even if that
expression only ends up in the words we utter.
The old saying that “sticks and stone may break my bones but
words will never harm me” is a lie and we all know it. We’ve all been
hurt by words, and for many of us, words have ruined relationships. I’ll
never forget the first week I arrived at this congregation, a man walked
into my office and said, “You’re not one of those stupid preachers that
believes in a literal seven days of creation are you?” It was hard for me
to put that comment aside when I was called on to serve him and his
family.
Jesus taught that permitting the passion that stirs within to be
expressed in any harmful way was simply not God’s way. He proclaims
in our text that this is a better way than that of the Pharisees and
Scribes. We all know that anger’s destruction of a relationship is not
limited to murder. And saying that you are “right with God” because
you didn’t kill someone, while all the while stomping around spitting out
slanderous insults against them just doesn’t look very righteous. A
better way, a truly righteous way, would lead to resolving the conflict
between those upset with one another, not making it worse.
4
We need something more than the Roman way of dealing with
anger. Julius Caesar was known to repeat the Roman alphabet before
he allowed himself to respond when frustrated. Doing something to
cool ourselves down is a good idea, but once we’ve cool off, we’ve got
to address the situation, we’ve got to bring about a resolution. Carrying
around the hurt in silence isn’t God’s way either.
God knows what’s going on in your heart. You can’t fool Him,
you can’t buy Him off with a proper gift at the altar. You can’t just
show up at church and act as if everything’s okay in your life when they
are not. If someone is angry with you, then your first step in preparing
for worship is to do what you can to resolve that conflict. Otherwise,
your worship is meaningless.
Let’s say that you’ve done something that upsets your neighbor.
You could let the courts handle it; they would settle the matter, but
they wouldn’t resolve the animosity. Jesus said that there is a better
way: you could make friends with your opponent. Imagine going to
them, acknowledging your part, and making proper amends for what
you’ve done. They would probably be surprised, make amends, and
even think well of you and you of them.
Building relationships instead of tearing them down? Impossible?
Jesus is known for saying things like “turn the other cheek,” “love your
enemies,” “pray for those who persecute you.” He seems to believe
that we can control our response when passion stirs within us. Not just
once and a while, but all the time.
I felt passion stirring with in me last night. We had a long day
helping celebrate Jordan and Blair Redmond’s wedding yesterday. And
by the time we got home late last night I was pretty tired, ready for
bed. But my neighbors were celebrating too, I don’t know what they
were celebrating, but I’d noticed a bunch of young boys coming over to
their house earlier in the day. They were loud, the music was still
pounding at 10:30, the parents were obviously encouraging some sort
of competition yelling and screaming, and I was getting frustrated. All
kinds of thoughts came to my mind: Didn’t they have any respect?
5
Those bunch of inconsiderate…? Maybe I should call the police. I’ll bet
my other neighbors were just as annoyed as I am. Maybe…
I shouldn’t have had so many glasses of tea late in the day that was
probably why I wasn’t getting to sleep. Maybe I should just close the
window and block out some of the sound, it wasn’t really that hot.
Maybe I should be thankful that they’re spending time with their kids.
Maybe I should just pray for them, read a book or something, and get
some sleep.
Jesus’ way is much better, and while no one may ever know just
how many times you’ve kept your passions from expressing themselves
in a harmful way, you will know, and God will know, and you’re
relationships with those around you will blossom instead of being
destroyed.
Jesus’ isn’t saying that we shouldn’t address real problems; there
are problems we need to confront, He is saying that we shouldn’t
address them with expressions of anger.
And if you have already done so, as I have on too many occasions,
then you will be found guilty in God’s courts. The only hope any of us
have on that day, is the mercy of God which He offers to us through
Jesus Christ. He died upon the cross in our place, taking upon Himself
our punishment, that we might be forgiven and given the hope of
eternity.
Prayer: Lord, don’t let the sun go down on my anger, help me resolve
the conflicts of each day. Amen.