Only through conflict do we understand ourselves
In spite of technological progress and the evolution of the global village, a
multicultural world society, every member of this planet will experience or be
influenced by many different types of conflict throughout their lives. Some believe
there is no place for conflict in an ideal utopian society where everyone is valued and
has everything they need; but the reality is, this is something completely
unachievable, especially given the nature of human beings. History has shown us
time and time again that conflict is necessary for economic growth, the shaping of a
national identity and a way of establishing laws and ideals to govern a society. Only
through conflict can resolution, transformation or increased knowledge be achieved.
Only through conflict do we understand ourselves better – what we think, believe,
value and what we are willing to stand up defend and fight for.
Perhaps one of the most difficult types of conflict to deal with is the inner
conflict that can develop within an individual, as a result of some mental or physical
challenge or barrier that they perceive as impossible to overcome. Anyone who is
successful in life knows that the road to the top was not smooth and that conflict is to
be expected when overcoming challenges. Current pop celebrity Katy Perry was told
many times in her early career to conform to what was currently in vogue in the
music scene or to develop an image that was something she did not like. This
rejection was made more difficult to deal with, as she had come from a religious
background and was expected to hold high moral values. Perry experienced inner
conflict regarding her own potential to be famous and conflict about creating music
that conflicted with her strict religious upbringing and would inevitably make her
family ashamed of her. These two opposing factors enabled Perry to understand
what type of music she wanted to make and who she really wanted to be. The inner
conflict of self-doubt and guilt over disappointing others did enable her to understand
herself and this she channelled into her songs. Take for example the song Firework
that includes the lines ‘Do you ever feel already buried deep’ and ‘you’re original,
cannot be replaced’. The lines of this song sends a strong message to all about
personally valuing your own individuality and not hiding who you really are – clearly
something she has learned as most important. Her many inner conflicts were an
essential part of becoming the artist she is today, who can write songs that people
can connect to or can be inspired by. Her inner conflict provided the foundations for
the songs that produce inspiration for others.
Mental and physical challenges do cause inner conflict for the individual but
conflict with other people or groups in society is also something that brings about
confirmation of who we are in the scheme of things. Katy Perry again comes to mind
and her recent split from Russel Brand and the many opinions voiced by the public
about her marriage are an example of social conflict that enables one to understand
themself better. In this case, Perry was not ready for children, as her career was
developing; and the conflict between herself and her new husband about the issue of
different needs and expectations for the relationship, enabled her to realise what she
needed for herself – being her career. She learned that the cost of realising her
dream was the sacrifice of her marriage and the disappointment and shame it
caused for herself, having come from a religious family. The differences between
people are frequently the cause of social conflict; whether they are religious or
cultural differences, like the example of Katy Perry they are the result of different
values that people hold. These differences are not made apparent until we are
expected to do something or give up something that we value and then we ultimately
know who we are, what we want and what our boundaries are.
One recent example of social conflict that highlights how people can develop
a greater understanding of themselves, is the unfortunate murder of Jill Meagher
who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and was abducted, raped
and murdered, being taken from her home suburb of Brunswick. This conflict was felt
by a majority of people across Melbourne, who identified that Jill represented anyone
of us and should have felt safe in her busy neighbourhood. This incident highlights
that conflict enables people to clarify what they expect of others and what they want
for themselves – in this case, safety and community. We identify Jill as one of our
own, whose behaviour was similar to any young woman, believing that she was safe
walking home a short distance from her familiar social spot. She was intelligent,
beautiful and valued by all who knew her.
The fact that her murderer and predator was filmed waiting for her and his
attempts to engage her in conversation and lure her to her death were captured and
shown to the public, created enormous conflict in society. The discovery of her body
increased the conflict within people, as they struggled to understand how this could
have happened in their town. Tens of thousands of locals marched through
Brunswick in protest to this act of violence, creating a gesture of camaraderie,
community spirit and a gesture of remembrance and appreciation for who she was
and what she stood for – the qualities we value and aspire to find in people we know.
This example of conflict emphasises how even the very worst of events can produce
a better self-understanding in people, enabling them to shape the type of people they
wish to be and the type of community they want to live in.
The film Mao’s Last Dancer conveys many different types of conflict that
range from self-doubt and physical challenges that produce inner conflict; to the
social conflict caused by looking and acting differently to others when you become a
member of another society; and the external conflict that results when an individual
resists the political or cultural laws imposed on them. Li Cunxin endured every form
of physical and mental conflict as a result of striving for his dream of dancing and
achieving success, after leaving his family, culture and ties to the Chinese
Government and worshipped leader Mao Zedong. Li’s success does not end with his
dancing career, he managed to defect to America, marry outside of his culture and
discover enormous financial success as a senior manager of a major stockbroking
firm, author of a best-selling book and a motivational speaker. His various conflicts
enabled him to know himself and what potential he was capable of. His story can be
compared to the other two examples discussed (Katy Perry and Jill Meagher), in
respect to the notion that conflict enables people to understand themselves better.
Whether it be to overcome challenges, realise their potential, clarify the type of
person they want to be or the type of society they want to live in – in many ways
conflict can bring about some sort of positive change or awareness for people.
Conflict is an aspect of human existence that cannot be eradicated, as we are
all very different and hold variations in ideals and values. There are often power
imbalances in life which result in conflict, as some hold an advantage over others
and injustice and unfairness develops. Conflict exists when people need to
overcome an obstacle or a challenge, or to even face something they fear so that
they may obtain freedom from oppression. Conflict is sometimes essential to
understand the inner morality we possess, or what we value in our lives. Whether the
conflict impacts negatively or positively on an individual, it can enable them to obtain
a greater awareness of their capabilities and limitations. We are stronger when we
overcome challenges or face the worst of situations; and we can be strength to
others who are affected by conflict and have lost their faith or will to go on. When all
is stripped away through conflict, we as humans do realise what is important to us
and gain a better perspective of who we are.
Although we have no money, no food, and can’t buy clothes, and although we live in a poor
house, one thing we do have is PRIDE. Pride is the most precious thing in our lives.
Throughout our forefather’s struggles, the Li family always had a good reputation. I want
every one of you to remember this: never lose your pride and dignity no matter how hard life
is. (Pg 16 – from ‘Mao’s Last Dancer’)