Niddah
“State of Separation”
Objectives
1.
2.
3.
4.
Define Niddah/Taharat HaMishpakha
Understand what Torah (G-d’s Word) instructs about Niddah
Understand the world’s view of Husband-Wife Relationship
Understand what Torah (G-d’s Word) instructs of the Husband-Wife
Relationship
5. Understand how Niddah and Taharat HaMishpakha apply to Messianic
Believers
6. Understand what is true Modesty
7. Understand some Talmudic teachings of Taharat HaMishpakha
Lessons
1. Niddah, Taharat HaMishpakha; What Torah says about Niddah; What the Torah
says about Childbirth
2. What Torah says about Husband and Wife relationship; The World’s view of
Husband-Wife Relationship
3. How does the laws of Niddah and Taharat Mishpakha apply to Messianic
Believers
Appendix
1. Resources and References
2. Physiology of a Woman’s monthly cycle
3. Talmudic teachings of Niddah/Taharat Ha-Mishpakha
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Lesson One
1. Niddah – Separation between a husband and wife in sexual relations during the
time of her menstrual cycle
2. Taharat HaMishpakha – family purity. This also concerns the husband as well as
the wife.
3. Zav – According to the sages, is a man who experiences three seminal emissions
differing slightly from ordinary seminal emission in color, texture, and the manner
of which the emission has occurred.
4. Zavah – a woman who has vaginal discharge other than the monthly menstrual flow
5. Mikvah – the ritual bathing pool in which a person immerses, completely covering
oneself, in the living water as part of the transition to ritual purity. The mikvah is
rooted in obedience and spiritual renewal. It separates the holy from the unholy.
Men and women during Temple period, who were precluded from services due to
being ritually unclean, could after immersion (having a mikvah), go to the Temple
Mount, enter the House of HaShem, and involve themselves in sacrificial offerings
and the like. The mikvah is considered to purify, to restore, and replenish life to our
essential spiritual selves. The person who takes a mikvah, signals a desire to achieve
oneness with the source of life – HaShem. The renewing relationship with Him by
being obedient to TORAH.
6. Tamei – ritually unclean
What Torah (G-d’s Word) Says About Niddah
Leviticus 15:16 - 33
1. Niddah in the Torah speaks of the separation between the husband and wife
during her menstruation cycle as well as other times of uterine bleeding.
2. Leviticus 15:1 – 18 speaks of the uncleanness of a man. The TORAH does not
distinguish the differences in the seminal emissions of the Zav, in my
understanding of these verses, it is an abnormal emission. In verse 13, Torah tells
the man who is free of the discharge, to count seven days from the cessation of his
last discharge for his purification. He is to wash his clothes and take a Mikvah,
and then he will be clean. On the eighth day, he is to bring either two doves or
young pigeons to the priest who would then offer them, one as a sin offering and
the other a burnt offering, this would fulfill the requirements of purification ritual.
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In verse 18, if a husband has sexual relations with his wife, the Torah instructs
both are to bathe themselves in water and they are both unclean until evening.
3. Leviticus 15:19 – 24 (Niddah) these verses instruct the daughters of HaShem on
the sanctity of the home. During her monthly cycle, HaShem instructs the
husband and wife not to have sexual relations. The ritual which binds a husband
and wife to one another is called sanctification. No matter how heavy or light the
menstrual flow, she was to count seven days beginning on the first day of her flow.
On the eighth day of her cycle, she was to take a Mikvah (a ritual cleansing in
living water). During these seven days, the wife was ritually contaminated and
she was to separate herself from people or things which were required to be
ritually pure. According to these scriptures, her bedding, furniture she sits on,
clothing she has worn during this time, are also considered tamei (unclean). The
reason for this is because of the chance of her discharge being accidently on these
items. What we have to remember, HaShem deemed dahm (blood) as life in
B’resheet (Genesis) 9:4 and V’yikra (Leviticus) 17:10 – 14; when a woman has her
menstrual flow, she is shedding blood, the lining of her uterus which would
provide nourishment for the fertilized egg. HaShem created a woman’s body to
prepare for potential life within her body to be a cradle for life. When a woman
has her menses, this signals the death of potential life. If her husband has sexual
relations with her while she is tamei, then he himself has to follow the same
instructions as she has to follow of Niddah; and according to TORAH, Leviticus
20:18, there is a punishment for them having sexual relations during this time, they
will both be cut off from their people (cut off does not mean a mutilation or
excommunication but means cut off from the spiritual source of life. A person
who is cut off from his/her people can re-attach to the spiritual source by true
repentance and never do the discretion again.) In Sh’mu’el Bet ( 2 Samuel) 11:1 –
5 is where Bat Sheva was taking her Mikvah when Melech D’vid saw her. Verse 4
explains she had been purified from her uncleanness.
4. Leviticus 15:25 – 30 (Zavah) these verses instruct if a woman has a discharge other
than her regular menstrual flow, this is called zavah. If a woman experiences such
a flow anytime from the eighth through the eighteenth days of her cycle she is
considered zavah. A woman would have to follow the following instructions if
her menstrual flow exceeded the usual time period. After the issue of blood has
ceased, the woman was to count seven days after she stopped bleeding. On the
eighth day, she was to take a Mikvah as well as bring two turtledoves or two
young pigeons to the priest. One of the birds was a sin offering and the other as an
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5.
6.
7.
8.
elevation offering. In the Brit HaChadashah, Mattityahu (Matthew) 9:20 – 22,
Yeshua heals the woman who had a unusual bleeding for 12 years.
Childbirth V’yikra (Leviticus) 12 tells what a woman is to do when she has a
baby. If a boy, she will be unclean for seven days with the same uncleanness as
with Niddah. She was to wait an additional thirty three days to be purified of her
blood; she was not to touch any holy thing or come to the sanctuary until she had
been ritually purified. If she had a girl, she would be unclean for fourteen days, as
with Niddah. She was to wait an additional sixty six days to be purified of her
blood. After these additional days were completed for her purification, she was to
bring to the priest a year old lamb for a burnt offering and a young pigeon or turtle
dove as a sin offering to the tent of meeting/Temple. If she could not afford a
lamb, she was to bring two turtle doves or pigeons, one for the burnt offering and
the other a sin offering, then she would be in a state of cleanliness.
Mikvah The Word of HaShem instructs us in the Mikvah. It is not to be taken
lightly, but it is HaShem’s way of keeping us ritually clean and pure. Some say
the laws of separation keep things sparkling in a marriage relationship, keeps the
flame of passion stoked. When a wife goes through her purification ritual, she and
her husband come together in a renewed and refreshed relationship; it rejuvenates
their relationship, the old saying ”Absence makes the heart grow fonder”. Women
who take a Mikvah monthly, have stated they feel a spiritual high – a feeling of
nothing can come between them and HaShem. When we obey HaShem’s
instructions in our lives by abiding in His Word, there is a closeness we feel which
words cannot express. Yeshua taught about abiding in His Father’s Word “For My
yoke is easy and burden is light.” Matthew 11:30. When we follow Torah, we are
living our lives pleasing unto HaShem. According to the sages, the first time a
woman is required to have a Mikvah, is prior to her wedding.
Offerings for Ritual Purity Olah (Elevation Offering) may be brought by someone
who has intentionally committed a sin for which Torah does not prescribe a
punishment or who failed to perform a positive commandment.
Sin offerings are needed to atone for deeds which were committed inadvertently
as a result of carelessness.
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Lesson Two
What the Torah says of Husband - Wife Relationship
If we look at the Word and see the union of a man and woman of HaShem, we see He
considers the sexual relationship as precious. It is holy, because HaShem is Holy, and
He told us to be holy as He is Holy V’yikra (Leviticus) 11:44; 19:2; 1st Kefa (Peter) 1:15 16. The sexual relationship between a husband and wife is so sacred, it must not be
treated as common, for when this happens, it becomes ugly and even can become
destructive to the relationship. Among the cycle of life which HaShem has created,
there are times of union and times of separation between the husband and wife refer to
Ecclesiastes 3:1 – 8. HaShem has set instructions to us as His people about the marriage
relationship. In B’resheet (Genesis) 1:26 – 28 and 2:18 – 25, these verses tell us about
the family unit HaShem created. HaShem blessed marriage between male and female.
HaShem created Adam a helpmeet/helpmate named Chavah. It is a scientific fact men
are more concrete thinkers while women are the emotional and abstract thinkers. When
HaShem puts together a marriage, the couple brings both their weaknesses as well as
their strengths. They complement each other, where one is weak the other is strong.
They come together as one flesh. Yeshua quotes B’resheet 1:26 – 28 and 2:24 in
Matthew 19:4 – 9 and Mark 10:7 – 9. Yeshua instructed for divorce to occur of a
marriage, the only reason should be sexual immorality/infidelity. Ephesians 5:1 – 33
tells of how the marriage between a holy couple should be managed. In these verses,
Rabbi Sha’ul stresses there should be no sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity or
greed, for these things are not appropriate for B’nei Isra’el, for we are a holy people.
We are in the world but are not to be of the world. Sexual immorality doesn’t mean just
mean physical – sexual relationship with someone of the opposite sex, but it can also be
pornography, or any of the sexual sins which are an abomination before HaShem.
Rabbi Sha’ul tells us how the family unit is to be honored, which means following the
teachings of Torah. First, wives are to submit their selves to their husbands as to
Adonai. The word submit/submission in the understanding of the world, means for a
woman to be a servant, slave, second class to her husband, or a door mat. The Biblical
meaning is where the wife recognizes the role her husband holds in the family. The
Torah is clear on this; the husband is the head of his family as Yeshua is the head of His
bride. The wife is to be submissive (respectful, honoring) to her husband as the Bride of
Yeshua is submissive to Him. Second, husbands are to love their wives as he loves his
own body. If the family unit is following the Word of HaShem, then when troubled
waters come, they will pull together in prayer and supplication, seeking HaShem in
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what He directs them to do. Just as there is a hierarchy in heaven so is there a hierarchy
in the family. When the husband is being the man whom HaShem created him to be,
his wife is the woman whom HaShem desires to be. All through the Torah, HaShem
tells us about the marriage relationship. Proverbs 31:10 – 31 tells us what a virtuous
woman is in a marriage relationship. She is a woman whom is valued at a great price by
her husband, for she is his help mate which HaShem has placed her in this valuable role
with the family unit. Her husband is a respected man because of her. There is an old
saying which I will paraphrase, when a man is in the will of HaShem, then his wife is a
great supporter of him, but when her husband is not being the man whom HaShem has
instructed him to be, then she is a thorn in his side. HaShem instructed the wife to be a
help mate to her husband in being the spiritual leader of the family. If a wife is
domineering and selfish in her motives, and her husband allows her to be a shrew, then
their children of this union will not respect their father because of the way their mother
treats him. On the other hand, if the husband treats his wife as HaShem intended, then
the family unit will be blessed by HaShem. Song of Solomon is a very in-depth love
story, which was written by Melech Shlomo (King Solomon) about his love for his bride
and her love for him.
1 Corinthians 7:1 – 6 Rabbi Sha’ul tells the congregation of the marriage
relationship then in 2 Corinthians 11:2 Rabbi Sha’ul states of those who are called to be
the Bride of Yeshua to be as a pure virgin in the marriage to Messiah. Hebrews 13:4
instructs in the sanctity of marriage. By observing the commandments which HaShem
has placed before in His Word, they will provide a way for stability, peace, harmony
between each family member as well as the husband-wife relationship. The
commandments provide instructions for elevating the sexual relationship, of a husband
and wife, to a level which expresses love toward each other on a spiritual plane which
HaShem has called sacred. Biblically, the sexual relationship between a man and
woman is not condoned nor is it given legitimacy of just to have children, but within
the sanctity of marriage, the sexual relationship is positive, necessary and good. The
Word speaks of sexual relationship as being beautiful when expressed in the love and
compassion in the instructions of HaShem. 1 Peter 3:1 – 7 tells of the marriage
relationship between husbands and wives, as well as the relationships between parents
and children.
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How the World Views the Husband and Wife Relationship
Our society today has made the act of marriage, the sexual relationship between
a husband and wife, common. Some women have not been told the Biblical aspect of
the sexual relationship between a husband and a wife, because sex is a taboo subject in
some families where in others, the sexual relationship is made common talk by telling
jokes, stories, etc which are sexually oriented. HaShem intended for sexual relations
between a husband and wife to be a time of coming together as one. Sexual relations
between a husband and his wife, is not a dirty act, hasatan has taken a beautiful
relationship and has warped the Biblical meaning understanding of the sexual
relationship. What HaShem gave to a husband and his wife to share in private.
Promiscuity runs rampant throughout our society. Our children are faced with it daily;
they are bombarded with the sexual revolution at school among their peers and
teachers, on TV, on the internet, at movies, in magazines. Rated G and PG movies have
sexual innuendos placed strategically for the adults who are watching these movies,
supposedly made for children’s viewing and entertainment. The ad slogan by many of
society’s entertainment industry stress “Sex Sells”. Many women who have been
brought up in Christian homes, having been taught by their mothers, sex is dirty and it
is a dirty word. There have been some daughters of Christian mothers, who have been
taunted by their mothers for them not having the endowment they or other females of
the family may have, or being the end of off colored jokes due to their physical shape or
size. Here are some examples of what some daughters have been told by their well
meaning mothers, 1) all men want is for their sexual appetites to be satisfied, they don’t
really care about their wives feelings and if they don’t get sex in a certain time period
they will go looking for it from a woman who will satisfy his selfish appetite; 2) ALL
MEN whether they are Christian or not, are going to be unfaithful to their wives at least
once in the marriage, because they are selfish; 3) husbands will be unfaithful more
when their wives are pregnant than at any other time of the marriage. Among some
families, the women, who are married will tell of their recent sexual relations with their
husbands. At times, these “talks” are a time to criticize and make fun of their husbands;
these women have their husbands “hen-pecked”. The sad thing about this type of talk
is overheard by their daughters, who grow up to believe the sexual relationship
between a husband and wife is dirty and they believe either their husbands will rule
over them with an iron fist or they can “hen-peck” their husbands as their fathers were.
This is a garbage bag of warped understanding brought into a marriage between
Christian couples and thus, the marriage relationship starts off on rocky ground. The
key to having a trusting and fulfilling marriage which is ordained and sanctified by
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HaShem is to have a Biblical (TORAH) based understanding of what HaShem instructs
of a marriage relationship.
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Lesson Three
How Does the Laws of Niddah and
Taharat HaMishpakha Apply to Messianic Believers
The laws of Niddah and Taharat HaMishpakha apply to us just as they did when
HaShem created Adam and Chavah. We as TORAH observant believers in Messiah are
to take what Mitzvot which apply to us and obey them. In this day and time, we have
sanitary napkins, and tampons which collect the menstrual discharge. We don’t have
the old rags to use as our ancestors did before us and chances of having an “accident”
are not as often. We are more astute to our bodies and when we are going to have our
menstrual flow. It is important for women to keep a calendar of their time of beginning
their monthly menstrual flow. Some women are so in tuned with their bodies they
know when they will start without the use of a calendar. For those who are new to the
ways of TORAH, Niddah is a different way of thinking, but we must remember, these
are not man-made rules and regulations, but are instructions given to us by HaShem. If
we follow them as He has commanded us, then we will see a renewal of our
relationship with our husbands. We don’t need to view taking a Mikvah as a “Jewish”
ritual, but view it as a command from our Father; we do it because He said to do it.
If we are approached by an elder to read from the Bema and we are in Niddah,
then we are to politely decline the honor for that time. We don’t have to announce the
reason, just say no. The reason is, a woman who is in Niddah, should not out of respect
for HaShem touch anything Holy due to the uncleanness of Niddah. This is what
HaShem’s Word says in (V’yikra) Leviticus 15:19 – 27.
As to birth control, we are commanded in B’resheet (Genesis) 1:28 “Be fruitful,
multiply, fill the earth and subdue it……” The TORAH does not have specific
guidelines as to birth control. According to the Talmud, planning when to have
children is not a religious problem. Modern rabbinic authority sees no breaking of
TORAH with the use of the pill, because it does not destroy the seed. When a woman
takes the Pill, it prevents ovulation; it does not destroy the egg. If a woman does use
the Pill, she needs to be aware of taking certain antibiotics which can lessen the affects
of the Pill. Using condoms does not destroy the seed, unless they have spermicidal
additives. IUD‘s prevent a fertilized egg from implanting in the endometrium. The
bottom line would be, you and your husband should go before the Father and seek His
guidance and the counseling of by their rabbi. Children are the most precious gift
HaShem bestows upon us. They bring joy into our lives as well as permanently bond
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the husband and wife relationship. The world is aimed at “zero population” growth
with newer and more modern ways of preventing pregnancy or those in society fight to
have abortions “because it is a woman’s right to decide”. Modern society feels children
are a burden to the busy lifestyle of couples and these couples chose not to have
children, where those who are TORAH observant see children as a gift from HaShem.
As to childbirth, we do not have a temple which to bring a burnt offering nor a
sin offering after we have had a child. We should as TORAH observant believers follow
what is instructed of us to the best of our ability. Refer to V’yikra (Leviticus) 12.
As to having sexual relations between a husband and his wife on Erev Shabbat,
traditionally, the sages have encouraged this time of togetherness for the couple. Their
teachings are based on the joy and celebration of Shabbat and creation.
As to the Mikvah, yes we should take a Mikvah within the time period which
TORAH tells us. The TOAH does not tell us exactly how to do the mikvah; again,
HaShem said it and we should do it. Some women will take a Mikvah in their tubs at
home. According to tradition, they first take a cleansing shower/bath with soap, water,
shampoo, shaving their legs and underarms, trim their nails (some would call this a spa
experience) after their cleansing shower/bath, they would fill their tubs up with water,
leaving the water running, unplug the drain so as to have free flowing water, then
would completely immerse themselves, to the best of their ability, in the water. In the
Orthodox/Conservative Kosher Mikvah, women would come to take their ritual
Mikvah, supervised by a female attendant. The wife would come to the Mikvah on the
first evening when she and her husband could resume sexual relations. The woman
would take a cleansing bath then go into the Mikvah area, unclothed, immerse herself
then upon rising out of the water, the woman would say Baruch atah Adonai
Eloheinu Melech ha-olam asher kidshanu b’mitzvatov v’tzi’vanu al hatvilah.
Blessed are You O L-rd, G-d King of the universe, Who has sanctified us with His
commandments and commanded in concerning the immersion. After the blessing, the
woman would totally immerse herself once again. It would be at this time, she would
be ritually clean.
Many, who hear of the Laws of Niddah, feel a negative connotation from the
Written Word. Some feel offended of the separation of the husband and wife as a
connotation of saying the woman is “dirty” or “being treated as a prostitute” or they
feel the laws of Niddah do not apply to them as modern believers in the Word; they
believe and are taught, these laws only apply to the “Jewish” women and not to the
Church. The Word is taught by well meaning pastors and teachers, which a woman’s
monthly cycle makes her dirty and considers the monthly flow to be a curse from G-d
because of the sin of Eve. The monthly flow was not a curse because of Eve’s
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(Chavah’s) sin of eating the forbidden fruit, but according to B’resheet (Genesis) 3:16 ,
HaShem told Eve (Chavah), due to her eating the forbidden fruit “I will greatly
increase your pains in childbearing;” The Written Word does not say anything about
the monthly cycle being curse. Commercials on television portray the monthly cycle as
“Mother Nature has brought you her monthly gift” or as a dreaded time for a woman
monthly until she has menopause. Modern medicine has medications given to women
who don’t want to be inconvenienced monthly, take a pill to keep her from having
monthly flows for extended time period. Our modern society is attempting to control
what HaShem created to occur monthly to only when a woman feels the time to have
her menstrual flow. The harm which modern medicine is doing will not be realized
until it is too late, for the permanent damage will already be done. HaShem did not
intend for the laws of Niddah to be taught in this incorrect way. When we study what
the blood means in the Word, it represents life, which is why we are commanded not to
eat the blood of a clean animal nor is a husband to have sexual relations with his wife,
she is shedding blood, life. The female is highly respected and honored in a TORAH
observant marriage. Our Matriarchs gave counsel to their husbands in serious matters.
B’resheet 21:8 -13 tells us of when HaShem told Avraham to listen to the counsel of his
wife Sarah concerning Yitzhak and Yishmel and in B’resheet 27:46 -28:7 when Yitzhak
listened to Rivkah. If we look at what the Brit HaChadashah instructs us a believers in
Yeshua, the marriage is a holy and precious relationship, which should be protected at
all cost. Here are a few scripture references which can be used as instructions to
couples who are desirous to have a good marriage. First and foremost, we have to go
back to what Yeshua told His talmidim in Yochanan (John 14:15) “If you love Me, you
will keep My Commandments” those commandments was and is TORAH. 1
Corinthians 7: 1 – 40 , look specifically at verse 5, Rabbi Sha’ul told the people of
abstaining from sexual relations, when abstaining from sexual relations is done is of
mutual consent, during Niddah or during a fast time for either the husband or the wife;
Ephesians 5:22 – 33; Colossians 3:18 – 21, these scripture references tell of the marriage
relationship and how it is to be according to HaShem’s instructions.
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Modesty in a Marriage
There is a lot to be said of modesty, it is not only the way we dress, but how we conduct
ourselves in all aspects of our lives. How we talk in public, at home and in our
congregations. Our actions, the old saying, “Actions speak louder than words”. We as
believers in Messiah have to be alert as to how we live our lives for we are the light of
the world. According to tradition, modesty starts in the home. Children will behave as
they see their parents live. Being modest does not mean being prudish but carry
ourselves in a way which is pleasing to our Heavenly Father. We are to model
ourselves after our Messiah. A wife should not wear clothing in public which would
cause a man, other than her husband, to sin by gazing at her in the way she is dressed.
Modesty is taught to children in the home by respecting their parent’s domain, their
bedroom. Parents should not be dressed provocatively in front of their children and
vice versa. Our society has no modesty, young girls dress in as little clothing as
possible because, “It’s the fashion”. HaShem made men to be visual and women to be
emotional. We as daughters of HaShem need to take in account how we present
ourselves to the world, we need to question ourselves as how we dress (does it show
too much skin, or is it too tight); how we speak (gossiping, slander, tale bearing); our
actions in how we conduct ourselves in public so as not to cause a person to stumble. In
Orthodox and Conservative congregations, there is a separation between the men and
women. Most Messianic congregations do not require the separation between men and
women. To quote an Orthodox Messianic Rabbi, “A wife can be a great distraction to
her husband during Shabbat services; if a man’s wife touches his knee, then the man’s
concentration is now on his loving wife.” Going back to Proverbs 31, a woman’s speech
should not be common “her speech is wise and the Law of kindness is upon her lips”.
For us women, Proverbs 31 woman should be our example of how we should conduct
ourselves to be like our Messiah. We are not to have an arrogant attitude, but are to be
humble in our actions, and ways. As in 1 Timothy 2:9 - 10 , now Rabbi Sha’ul is telling
his opinion of how a woman should conduct herself and if what he says does not go
against TORAH then we should at least consider it good advice.
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Appendix
I.
II.
III.
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References and Resources used for this study
Physiology of a woman’s monthly cycle
Brief Talmudic Teachings of Niddah/Taharat HaMishpakha
I.
References and Resources
The following is a list of references and resources used for this study.
HaShem, I Am The Holy Scriptures
Donin, Hayim Halevy To Be a Jew, Basic Books 1972
Reeder, Mastroianni, Martin, Fitzpatrick Maternity Nursing, 13th Edition, J. B. Lippincott
Company, Philadelphia, Penn. 1976
Forst, Binyomin Rabbi A Woman’s Guide to the Laws of Niddah, Artscroll, Mesorah
Publications, LTD, Brooklyn, NY, 2006
Kaplan, Aryeh Waters of Eden The Mystery of the Mikvah, 9th printing, 2007
Orthodox Union Publications, New York, NY
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II.
Physiology of a Woman’s Monthly Cycle
1. Physiology of a woman’s monthly cycle
Each month a woman starting around the age of 12 years until the age of 50 years
or so (menopause occurs 50 years or older), ovulates between the 12th to 14th days
of her cycle, some texts say 10th to 16th day. It is during these days a woman can
conceive. HaShem made women to have two fallopian tubes and two ovaries.
The right side ovary will release an egg one month then the left ovary will release
an egg the next month. When an egg is released, most women know when this
occurs due to feeling a sharp pain in the lower quadrant of the abdomen in the
area of the ovary. During the rest of the cycle, the endometrium builds a lining
in order to provide nourishment to a fertilized egg. If the egg is not fertilized,
the lining will slough and menstruation occurs. The world’s labeling of the
menstrual cycle of a woman is “The Curse”; “Mother Nature’s Calling”;
“Grandma Pain is visiting”; “Mother Nature brought a gift”. The menstrual
cycle is not a curse by HaShem; it is a time for the woman’s body to cleanse itself
and to start over preparing for a fertilized egg, nourishment for a new life, a time
of separation between the husband and wife.
2. PMS
Premenstrual Syndrome, some men call this time of his wife’s cycle “Pack My
Suitcase”. PMS can be hard to identify, due to having a wide variety of signs
and symptoms. Mood swings, tender breasts, food cravings, fatigue, irritability
and depression are among the most common symptoms occurring in the days
prior to menstruation. Usually occurs in women in late 20’s to early 40’s.
Emotional and Behavioral Symptoms
Tension and Anxiety
Depressed mood
Crying spells
Mood swings and irritability or anger
Appetite changes and food cravings
Insomnia
Social withdrawal
Poor concentration
Physical Signs and Symptoms
Joint/Muscle pain
Headache
Weight gain from fluid retention
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Abdominal Bloating
Breast Tenderness
Acne flare-ups
Constipation/Diarrhea
Although these lists contain a lot of signs and symptoms, the majority of women
experience a few, but not all. Most of the signs and symptoms disappear with
the onset of menstruation. A small percentage of women experience a more
severe form of PMS. These women experience disabling symptoms every month.
This type of PMS is categorized as a psychiatric diagnosis of PMS called PMDD,
Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. This includes severe depression, hopeless
feelings, anger, anxiety, low self-esteem, difficulty concentrating, irritability and
tension. The women who experience this type of PMS usually have an
underlying psychiatric disorder (Bipolar as an example).
Causes of PMS
The exact cause is unknown, but there are several factors which contribute
to PMS. The cyclic changes of the hormones appear to be the most consistent
cause of a woman experiencing PMS, because the signs and symptoms change
with the hormonal fluctuations and PMS disappears with pregnancy and
menopause. There are also chemical changes in the brain with the onset of
menstruation, such as the level of Serotonin, which plays a critical role in mood
states. If there is a drop in Serotonin, this contributes to depression as well as
fatigue, food cravings, and sleep problems. Stress also contributes to PMS
symptoms but alone is not a cause for PMS. Low levels of vitamins and
minerals, eating foods high in sodium content (causes fluid retention),
constipation (too much caffeinated beverages and alcoholic beverages). If
changing diet and lifestyle does not appear to help with PMS symptoms, then a
woman should see her doctor to see if there is another underlying problem.
Now let’s look at what the Torah tells us. A few things jump out at me, number one,
diet. If a woman eats more of a Biblically based diet, she would avoid most of the
additives and preservatives which are added to our food in the present time
HaShem cares about us and what we put in our bodies, that is why He told us what
food was and what was not food for a reason. HaShem gave us certain meats to eat,
these animals are herbivores which do not consume meat, they eat only plant-based
foods, (Genesis 1:29). They are healthier for us to eat because they don’t eat the flesh of
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other animals, so they avoid the diseases, parasites and worms which omnivores have.
Omnivores are animals which eat everything, both plants and animals, animals which
HaShem has called unclean. Look at the Mad Cow Disease; cows were being fed the
remains of other cows, or chicken feathers, floor wastes from chicken coops and plastic
pellets. HaShem designed unclean animals to be the environmental cleaners of the
earth and not food for His people. As to fish, they must have both fins and scales, if we
take a closer look, those which HaShem calls clean fish are those which have the
greatest health benefit for us, they contain Omega 3 fatty acids, which have been found
to decrease heart disease, lowering blood pressure, easing arthritis, migraine headaches,
and asthma. In Leviticus 11, tells us what birds we are not to eat. By the process of
elimination, we find we can have as food from the bird family, chicken, turkey, duck,
goose, and quail which are considered clean by most experts. These birds eat mostly
grains, grasses. These birds are high in cancer fighting niacin, immune-boosting
selenium and Vitamin B6, high in prostaglandins which has antiviral properties. No
wonder a good Jewish Emma would give bowls of chicken soup for colds!!! It is my
belief, if a woman will eat a more healthy diet of what is Biblically based; the effects of
PMS are lessened. Several OB-GYN physicians tell their female patients to eat a more
natural diet without the preservatives and food additives and see if it helps with the
PMS/Migraine headaches. Some patients have reported to their physician great
changes in their lives. The symptoms are not as severe as before, thus could there be a
connection with eating a Biblically based diet verses the “foods” which are eaten in this
day and time?
3. Perimenopause/Menopause this is the time in a woman’s life when she stops
having her menstrual cycle. Usually Perimenopause starts two to six years prior
to menopause and in some women, menopause starts between the ages 45 to 50
or so. Menopause is the complete cessation of menstrual flow. The symptoms
are usually the same as PMS with the exception of hot flashes; night sweats;
irregular, lighter, shorter cycles until cessation of menses; hair loss; dizziness;
feminine dryness; weight gain; decreased libido; sore joints and tendons; and
memory lapses . Every woman experiences menopause differently. Some
women have very little symptoms while others have severe symptoms. Those
who have severe symptoms will usually see the primary care physician to have
HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). In my opinion, changing the diet to
Biblical based may help with menopause as it helps to decrease the symptoms a
woman may have with PMS.
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III.
Talmudic Teachings of Niddah/Taharat
HaMishpakha
The teachings of the Sages which instruct a woman who is Niddah are long and
detailed. We as TORAH observant believers need to look at what the Written Word
tells us to do and to rely on HaShem to direct us in following His instructions.
Understand, the Talmud was written to keep those who had such a desire not to
transgress the TORAH as our ancestors have done. Our sages after the Babylonian
exile, had such a desire so as not to ever transgress TORAH, built a fence around the
Written TORAH, the Talmud. This section is in reference to this part of the Talmud.
Our Jewish brothers and sisters who live their lives striving to please HaShem and
being so fearful of transgressing His TORAH, we are to respect their feelings and not
criticize their ways of devotion to HaShem. The Talmud directs other laws which
forbid any heterosexual contact which might cause sexual stimulation which then could
lead to sexual relations. Those who strictly observe Taharat Ha-Mishpakha, do not kiss,
hug, or otherwise touch their spouse during the days of Niddah. There are separate
beds for them to sleep in at night and some husbands will not hand things to his wife
during these days of separation so as not to touch his beloved wife but he will set the
object down for her to pick it up. The laws of family purity are virtually unknown to
non-orthodox couples. Orthodox couples follow a strict observance of Niddah
extending the days of separation to seven more days after which she has stopped her
menstrual flow. This is followed in order for the couple to make sure the wife has
completed her monthly cycle and not break the commandment of Niddah. Many of
those who observe Taharat Ha-Mishpakha feel it is responsible for maintaining their
frequent level of sexual activity because of the prohibition of separation for those 12
successive days of the month leaves a couple hungering for each other, even after many
years of marriage. This reflects what is said in Proverbs 31:10 – 11, her husband
cherishes her as a precious jewel, and he treats her with honor and respect for she is the
one who carries life within her womb.
Questions arise as to how a married couple is to relate to each other during her
time of Niddah. The following list is provided to give information to the reader of how
an orthodox couple relate to each other during this time of separation. (Please note, this
is a short list of the Laws of Niddah. For more detailed list, please refer to the book A
Woman’s Guide to the Laws of Niddah listed in the Resources and Reference section)
Many of the Laws of Niddah have the wife to consult her rabbi about her menstrual
flow when a question of doubt arises.
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a. When a wife is Niddah whether through normal monthly menstruation or
through any other cause which renders her Niddah, no physical contact of
any form is done.
b. The husband and wife may not lift, push or pull an object together.
c. They may not hand an object to each other
d. They are forbidden to sleep in the same bed when she is Niddah, or sleep
in two separate beds which touch one another. According to some
rabbinic teaching, the beds if side-by-side must be at least one-and-a-half
to two feet apart from each other.
e. While the wife is Niddah, she and her husband should not talk in a way to
each other which could be mistaken to lead to intimate behavior
f. The wife may wear jewelry, cosmetics and perfume, but not to excessive
use which could lead to an intimate behavior
g. The husband may not listen to his wife singing, she should not even sing
Shabbos zemiros in his presence. Hearing her could cause him to have
intimate feelings for her.
h. While in Niddah, the wife is to be careful not to expose her nakedness in
front of her husband so as not to cause intimate relations to occur between
them.
i. When a wife is Niddah, she must wait five days before counting the seven
clean days. The five days begin on the day she starts her menstrual flow.
(This explains the 12 days of separation for the couple)
j. It is the responsibility of the wife to maintain an accurate record of when
her menstrual flow begins and ends so as not to break the laws of Niddah.
k. The Mikvah of a wife in Niddah must be done at night. She must not be
ritually clean before nightfall, even if she wishes to be ritually clean on the
eighth or ninth day. If she cannot fulfill this law of the Mikvah at night,
she must consult her rabbi.
l. The Mikvah must not be delayed for using as a weapon in a marital
dispute. This is a grave offence which can cause more damage to the
dispute. If a wife desires to delay her Mikvah, her rabbi must be
consulted.
m. If the wife or husband is physically ill, the Mikvah may be postponed.
n. The wife must be discrete about the time of her Mikvah; it does not need
to be done in ways to attract attention.
o. When the wife goes to the Mikvah,
i. Remove all jewelry, makeup, skin care products, etc.
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ii. Take a cleansing bath first
iii. Wash her hair, comb it while wet to remove all tangles and knots.
(if the wife has lice or nits or dandruff problem, she should consult
her rabbi)
iv. Teeth brushed and flossed
v. Empting her bladder and defecating should be done prior to the
Mikvah.
vi. The wife will then immerse herself completely under water in a
position which is neither in a totally erect or extreme bent position.
She should not hold on to the railing while immersing. A Mikvah
attendant must be in supervision to ascertain all body parts and
hair was submerged. Before submersing herself, the wife reminds
herself the reason for the Mikvah is to purify herself from the
impurity of Niddah.
vii. She immerses twice (refer back to the section of the Mikvah on
page 9 for the blessing said by the wife) Some communities have
the custom to have the wife immerse three times, while others
seven, nine, or ten times.
viii. Upon leaving the Mikvah, the wife should feel she fulfilled all the
requirements of the Mikvah.
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