Story Treatment
Heath Goetsch
NEW GIRL
“Advice”
Feeling “hot” after her recent dating success, Jess
misguidedly gives the worst relationship advice.
ACT ONE
Around the kitchen table, NICK and SCHMIDT talk about
recent dates that have gone wrong. JESS walks into the
room, expressing surprise that the two are up so early.
Nick explains that a run-away shopping cart ruined his
night.
Flashing back to the night before, a shopping cart roars
down a city street hitting Nick’s date. She asks Nick if he
is going to do anything about it. He daftly explains that
he wouldn’t know what to do, so she leaves him on the
street frustrated.
Back at the apartment, Schmidt admits that he set the
shopping cart into motion, but swears that he was doing it
to stop Nick from making a big mistake.
CECE, hair frazzled in a stained dress, knocks on the
apartment door. She tells Jess that she needs to talk to
her. Nick and Schmidt insist that they need Jess more, and
beg her not to leave them. Jess walks CeCe to her bedroom.
Jess pats her hand on the bed, encouraging CeCe to sit next
to her. She asks CeCe what is on her mind.
CeCe tells Jess about a date she went on with a handsome
and charming man. She explains that she kept thinking about
Schmidt the whole time. She asks Jess what she thinks this
means. Jess convinces her that she needs to go on a date
with Schmidt, just as friends, so that she can get it out
of her system.
CeCe goes to the bathroom to clean herself up. As Jess
walks through the hall, WINSTON steps out of his room. He
grabs her softly by the arm and tells her that he needs her
advice. A cheerful and enthusiastic Jess agrees to help.
Story Treatment
Heath Goetsch
Winston explains that he has feelings for a female
coworker. Jess advises that if he has feelings to not deny
them and just go for it. Winston accepts the advice. He
admits that it was what he was hoping to hear.
ACT TWO
As Jess enters the kitchen, Nick and Schmidt gripe.
Simultaneously, they complain that Jess is denying them the
consolation they need. They accuse her of neglect, while
pointing emphatically. She calmly asks them how she can
help.
After Nick explains that he has had a string of bad dates,
Jess suggests that Nick spend some more time to himself.
She encourages him to have some alone time and to do
whatever makes him happy. Nick slaps his hand on the table,
and agrees to do it. He hurries off to his room and
playfully slams the door.
Nick is in his room pulling the sheets off his bed, while
talking to himself. He grabs an old fashioned typewriter
from his closet. He lifts up his mattress, puts it against
the wall, leans against it, and then sighs.
In the kitchen, Jess turns to Schmidt. Schmidt explains
that he doesn’t really have a problem, but that he didn’t
want Nick to be alone. Jess presses Schmidt to go on a
“just friends” date with CeCe. Schmidt has some conditions,
but he agrees to a date.
Out on the town, CeCe and Schmidt exit a movie theater
while laughing. Schmidt and CeCe both lock eyes intensely
for a moment. At the same time, they both shake their heads
to break the stare, and then laugh it off. They go on about
how they are just friends.
COACH is teaching a basketball class. He calls the
apartment. Jess picks up the phone. Coach is asking about
Nick. Coach explains that Nick was supposed to be at the
basketball class as the assistant coach for the team.
Jess tells him about the advice she gave Nick. Coach
expresses earnestly that Nick should not be given alone
time. Jess insists that it is good for him. In the
background, Nick starts screaming.
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Story Treatment
Heath Goetsch
ACT THREE
At dinner, Schmidt and CeCe raise their glasses, and then
they toast. They smile at each other longingly, and then
quickly begin talking about how easy it is to not be
attracted to one another. The waiter implies that they are
newlyweds, to which they both scoff.
On the streets, Schmidt and CeCe talk about their old
relationship. They concur that it could never work. As
Schmidt’s hand grazes CeCe’s, she flashes him a wanting
look. Schmidt leans in for a kiss and CeCe accepts. After
only a second, they both pull back. The two shake their
heads.
In Nick’s room, there is a large, makeshift blanket fort
covering the entire room. The walls are covered in pages
pulled out of a PG-13 men’s magazine and “Boy’s Life”. The
click-clack of a keyboard can be heard, but Nick is not in
sight.
Jess appears startled, as she walks by the room and calls
out for Nick. Nick explains that he is in his think tank.
Jess points out that his think tank looks like a teenager’s
sleepover. Nick gives a disillusioned speech about how he
has finally found himself.
Riding in a squad car, Winston flirts with CARMEN, a female
officer. He asks her on a date. She slams on the brakes and
rants about feminism. She goes on to hint at turning
Winston into the department for sexual harassment. Winston
pleads with her and informs her that he received terrible
advice from a roommate.
Winston calls Jess from a street corner. He explains that
Carmen kicked him out of the car. He scorns her for the bad
advice and informs her that they will talk later at the
apartment.
CeCe calls Jess from a street corner. She tells of the
sexual tension between her and Schmidt. Jess apologizes.
CeCe tells her about the kiss. Jess receives another call
on the line. She puts CeCe on hold.
Schmidt calls CeCe from a street corner. He goes on about
how terrible Jess is with relationship advice. He goes on a
rant about how he knew this was a bad idea.
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Story Treatment
Heath Goetsch
Coach tries to call Nick, but the phone goes straight to
voicemail. Coach tries calling Jess, and her phone goes
straight to voicemail. Coach calls the apartment line. With
a cellphone in one hand, with both Schmidt and CeCe on the
line, Jess answers the apartment phone.
Nick yells, from his fort, something about a delivery
coming to the apartment. Coach informs Jess, over the
phone, that he is on his way back to save Nick from her
terrible advice.
ACT FOUR
Coach opens the door to the apartment to find Schmidt,
CeCe, Winston, and Jess arguing. Coach interrupts loudly,
encouraging everybody to calm down.
Schmidt explains to Coach that Jess is terrible at giving
advice. Coach agrees with Schmidt, and he questions why
Schmidt would listen to her relationship advice in the
first place.
Jess stomps her foot down, declaring that she will help fix
everybody’s problems. A large clatter is heard from Nick’s
room.
Coach, Schmidt, CeCe, Jess, and Winston all rush to Nick’s
room. They argue over who is going to open the door. Jess
opens the door, slowly. The outline of Nick at a typewriter
can be seen through the blankets. Nick says something about
his fortress of solitude collapsing, much like his life.
Winston urges Jess to stay out of everything, so as not to
cause more damage.
At the police station, Jess talks to Carmen. In her quirky,
cute way she convinces Carmen not to turn Winston in.
Carmen remarks that she is actually a bit attracted to
Winston.
At the apartment, Schmidt and CeCe concur that there is
nobody to blame for what happened but themselves. Coach has
finally coerced Nick out of his room.
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Story Treatment
Heath Goetsch
In the living room, Nick sips from a coffee mug, with a
blanket draped over him like a trauma victim. Nick tells
Coach about how scary it was to try to find himself.
Jess returns to the apartment to find everybody much more
content than when she left. She gives a full-hearted speech
about how everything works out. The group responds with
half-hearted enthusiasm.
Jess, sadly mentions that RYAN has not texted her for a
week. Schmidt, CeCe, Coach, Winston, and Nick take some
time to console her.
THE END
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