Running head: BENEFITS OF FICTIVE RELATIONSHIPS
Benefits of Fictive Relationships
Tyler T. Miller
Chico State
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BENEFITS OF FICTIVE RELATIONSHIPS
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Every human being that has been part of a society has had relationships with others
outside of there of their biological family and in some of these relationships have grown to the
extent that these people have become an imagined family member. This is known as fictive
Kinship which is a form of kinship or social tie that is not based on neither blood ties nor by
marriage and it a large effect on the individuals that are in this relationship. Fictive kinships in
human are beneficial to the person that are in the relationship and help them deal with a
multitude of challenges that they may face. These relationships are a support system and help
individual s persevere and active over adversity.
In the struggle for sobriety addict find support in the fictive kinships of other addict in
sober living homes. In sober living home addicts live and bond together and form an alternative
family for support that is different than regular support through accountability. When
conducting interviews of addicts in these programs one addict said with regards to a fellow
member of the house who had taken on a motherly role, “Thanks to good old Mom here, she
got me to school a lot… I got a lot of support from people in the sober living” (Heslin). An
education is a key to being a productive member of society but those without support will have
trouble when they struggle. Through this fictive mother-daughter relationship the woman in
this interview is receiving the support that a mother would give in a normal situation that gives
the person the tools to success. Then when in the same group interview a fellow addict adds,
“We have a family atmosphere… like a home environment, because we’re actually doing
homework together” (Heslin). Along with the support of the parent another form of support
that is helpful to success is the support of sibling or friend. With this fictive kinship with their
fellow addicts, they receive the support that normally come from a friend or sibling that will
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help them push through the difficulties of recovery. Through the bond of the common struggle
these addicts are growing close like a biological family which in turn helps them succeed. This is
common struggle is the not the only benefit that the addicts revise, in there interviews many
addicts “assessed their progress in recovery- e.g., an increased sense of empowerment, life
satisfaction, and hope for the future- by drawing contrasts between their relationships in the
sober living home and their relationships with family of origin or intimate partners”(Heslin). The
lack of family support or of that of a spouse is adversity that can lead many to drugs but with
these fictive family members the addict can have that level of support. The lack of a family in
the past could have led to drug use but instead they can now turn to the family they have
chosen to make. Also in another interview “a 28-year-old man stated that his relationship with
his current fiancée had become a ‘crutch’ when he was using drugs, and he contrasted that
relationship within overarching SLH objective ‘to become your own person’”(Heslin). In this way
it could be argued that these fictive family are superior that of a traditional family. While a
traditional family would have been neglectful or overly protective the addict family is
supportive but also help grow them as an individual. It is because this family was made for the
purpose of helping the addict grow is it more effective than the traditional family. Later in the
interview they talk about the idea of fictive father and mother figures and how their house
rules are “a reliable structure to learn the self-discipline and skills need for a successful
transition to independent living”(Heslin). Though this substation of a fictive father or mother’s
rule for the lesson that are learn my many in child these addicts are growing up and learning
the life lesson of disciple. This effect is not a drect link to fictive kin but without the parent-child
relationship these addict would not have been as amenable to this strict order. Anther effect of
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these house rules of the fictive parent is the addict reaction to them “a lot about myself (the
addict), little character defects that I have, like not being told what to do” (Heslin). In these
addicts’ lives before this they there never ask so much by their families and so they never had
to face these facts about themselves that allows them to mature. It only in this chosen family
where they are pushed to be something new are they able to mature and grow. Addict are help
thought there addict with the help of these fictive families but they are not the only ones who
use this support to face challenges.
The adoption of fictive kin in the elderly helps them with the difficulty of the absent of a
biological family. This adoption happens commonly in elderly because “relationships are
negotiated over time and circumstances and that hence the supportive role of specific
relationships varies according to how specific ties… he absence of certain primary family
relationships, a nonfamily relationship may develop into a family-like relationship”
(Voorpostel). Many elderly have lost most if not all fraternal relationships and many of them
chose to form fictive relationships to fill the void left by the lost family member. It is the same
effect that is see in the addict group, the lack of family relationship lead to the seeking out of
others that could support them in times of need. It was found when studying elderly in the
Netherland that “postdivorce families may have a higher likelihood of containing relationships
that lack a clear label and definition” (Voorpostel). This lack of a family member because of
divorce leaves a person needing a fictive relationship to replace the roles that was filled by the
divorced family member or members. The Elderly had become depend on this relationship and
without it they struggle to function normally. Also it was found that the elderly “who feel more
strongly that family should be there to provide support were more likely to define nonkin
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relationships as part of their family” (Voorpostal). The elderly in this study all had different level
of support that they required form family and those who had a high need found it elsewhere in
order to cope. They are not use to functioning without the help of other and these fictive
relationships help them with this. This elderly find support that they had lost in the form of
fictive relationships but other find support in a fictive brotherhood to see them through the
struggles of the military.
One of the most difficult struggles a human being can go though is the military life but
through fictive kinships soldiers are able to endure the ordeal and succeed. The need for these
relationships starts early as “boot camp is a mechanism for generating surrogate kin. The
physical exhaustion, incipient brutality, petty rules, and ultimately the pride of having survived
the ordeal, make boot camp into a high-speed way of molding a group of unrelated young men
so that they feel they are a band of real brothers”(Van Der Dennen). The military know that
there solders will need these connections to make it through the horror that is war so they
force them early. One of the major purposes of boot camp is to force the quick growth of fictive
relationships what are required to persevere through the struggles that they will face. The
struggles of boot camp is nothing compared to those of according to interview with solders that
says that “he identifies pride, loyalty, comradeship, selflessness, and even love as the
components of combat motivation” (Van Der Dennen). The fact that these relationships are not
just that of friends allows these solders to struggle on, they are fight for their fictive brother
that they would die for. They the instinct that cause family members to go to extraordinary
length to protect their family is present as one soldier fights along slide there bother in arms.
The soldier goes on to say “In the midst of seeming chaos it was the love of individuals, one for
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another, that enabled them to carry on” (Van Der Dennen). The power of these fictive
relationships is so strong that it allows the solider to continue to struggle even when all other
motives fail him. The urge for self-preservation get ignore as the instinct to protect your own
kicks in. These soldiers are able to continue to struggle against the force that are laid against
them because of the power of these fictive relationships but the argument has been made that
the search for these fictive relationship can lead individual, especially youth, into forming
relationships that could put the person at risk.
The augment has been made that the search for fictive relationships for support can
lead to a person into potently harmful situations. In particular the search for fictive
relationships has been considered a factor that lead may youth into joining criminal gangs.
However it is not the search for fictive relationships that leads these adolescents into danger
but the lack of opportunity to form fictive relationships with supportive individual or
communities. This augment about the effects fictive relationships have on decisions of Pasifika,
Pacific Islander, youth to join gangs in South Auckland in New Zealand. The article points to a
report by The Youth Development Strategy Aotearoa which states that common risk factors for
youth gang involvement include “lack of social support form family, neighborhood and wider
community; parenting that was overly harsh or that set insufficient boundaries”(Nakhid 113). It
was the lack of bonds that these youth had with their families which lead them to searching out
the fictive brotherhood of gang life. These youth are seeking what elderly from the Netherlands
where searching for in the previous augment which is a family that they were missing that
could help them thought the hard times. The mitigation of these risk factors should not be
dependent of the discouragement on fictive relationships but on the encouragement of fictive
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relationships in the community that will support the youth without leading them into illegal
activities. The lack of bond with the family is what lead the children in search of bond that could
fill the void but the lack of bond in their neighborhood and community is what lead them to
search out gang life for support. It go on to talk about social disorganisation theory and how in
these ethnic groups which are rejected by society the fact that both parents usually work cause
the adolescent to “become estranged from their parents at the same time as they are rejected
by the dominant culture” (Nakhid 115). This could be construed to show that lack of family
support to handle rejection by society causes children to participate in gang activity but it is
stated later that “overemphasizes family dynamics, focusing on individualized resources and
constraints to the exclusion of larger structural concerns” (Nakhid 115) and that the gang
involvement was related to the factors of “society, neighborhoods, communities and schools
break down for minority youth” (Nakhid 115). The formation of fictive relationships has been
shown to form in order to cope with hardship whether that be physical or emotional and it the
same in this situation. This children are rejected by their society which cause them distress in
more way then one but this rejection by society is also the reason they look to gang for support.
These ethic groups are not the only who face hardship and do not have a family for support but
the fact that they cannot rely on the fictive support of a community leads to them turning to
the fictive family of a gang. The Otara seem to have release the nature of the problem because
in 2008 it was reported that in order to curve gang culture they would build a youth center that
would give adolescents “a facility which would be safe as well as interactive”(Tapaleao) and late
in a quote from the youth worker Mr. Paea, “If you're going to take kids out of gangs and tell
them they shouldn't be selling drugs for money, you have to give them something. You have to
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give them another opportunity” (Tapaleao). This community center will not fix the hardship
that these people are facing but it will a better opportunity to from fictive relationships within
the community that are not gang related. Both the gang life and the community center will fill
these youths’ need for support but the beneficial nature but the community center is less likely
to lead them into more hardship. The problems of gang involvement is not cause by fictive
relationships but the lack of beneficial relationships. The adolescent will find the support it
need to push through whatever adversity they are facing where ever they can find it but
beneficial relationship will not lead them into adversity in the future.
Through fictive kinships addict, the elderly, and soldiers find support for the struggles
they go through. Thought there use of fictive kinship for support they demonstrate the power
that fictive kinships can have in supporting a person through their struggles. In societies around
the world fictive relationships are present created extended families that help support each
other succeeded.
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References
Heslin, K. (2011). Alternative families in recovery: Fictive kin relationships among residents of
Sober living homes. Qualitative Health Research, 21(4), 477-488. Retrieved December
14, 2014, from http://qhr.sagepub.com.mantis.csuchico.edu/content/21/4/477
Nakhid, C. (2009). THE MEANING OF FAMILY AND HOME FOR YOUNG PASIFIKA PEOPLE
INVOLVED IN GANGS IN THE SUBURBS OF SOUTH AUCKLAND. Social Policy Journal of
New Zealand, (35). Retrieved December 1, 2014, from. http://eds.b.ebscohost.com
mantis.csuchico.edu/eds/pdfviewer/pdfviewer?sid=1bf33783-4345-4ace-9a0c-bb998
f4847ba@sessionmgr114&vid=19&hid=104
Tapaleao, V. (2008, July 2). Plans for youth centre in Otara. The New Zealand Herald. Retrieved
December 14, 2014, from http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm? c_id=1&obj
ectid=10519447
Van der Dennen, J. (2005). Combat Motivation. Peace Review, 17, 1-1. Retrieved December 14,
2014, from http://eds.b.ebscohost.com.mantis.csuchico.edu/eds/pdfviewer/pdfviewer
?sid=1bf33783-4345-4ace-9a0c-bb998f4847ba@sessionmgr114&vid=39&hid=104
Voorpostel, M. (2013). Just like family: Fictive kin relationships in the Netherlands. The Journal
The Journals of Gerontology, 68(5), 9-9. Retrieved December 14, 2014, from http://psyc
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