LONGWOOD LESSON PLAN TEMPLATE
Subject(s) & Grade Level: Science 9C
Teacher Name: Jim Dow
Length of Class Periods: 45 minutes
Stage of writing process: revising
Standards of Learning:
9.6d: Write clear, varied sentences using specific vocabulary and information.
9.6i: Use computer technology to plan, draft, revise, edit, and publish writing.
9.7e: Distinguish between active and passive voice.
Applicable NCTE National Standard(s):
4: Students adjust their use of spoken, written, and visual language to communicate effectively with a
variety of audiences and for a variety of purposes.
12: Students use spoken, written, and visual language to accomplish their own purposes.
Lesson Overview: Students have produced a narrative, persuasive piece on the plight of the ospreys of
the Rappahannock River area. They have chosen their role, audience, format, topic using the RAFTS site
and have written the rough draft of their product. This lesson focuses on revising with an eye toward
the use of passive language since this is a science based product.
General Objective(s):
Specific Learning Objectives
Instructional Procedures
The student will be able to. . . [Use Bloom’s
The teacher will. . .
taxonomy verbs.]
Introduction [anticipatory set, focus, relate to previous learning; < 5 minutes]:
 Download the passive voice doc and read.
 Review the definition of passive voice and
its constructions.
 Ask any questions about the use of
passive voice in scientific writing.
 Review and explain why the passive voice
is used in scientific writing.
Main Lesson
 Each student will list every verb in the
 Model an active voice passage and
persuasive narrative she has produced.
converting it to passive voice.
 Label each verb usage as: A (active) P
 Facilitate each student’s work on his
(passive).
product by answering any questions about
passive voice.
 Evaluate each verb for specificity of
meaning and change accordingly.
 Meet with each student individually
during class to offer suggestions.
 Revise any active verbs into passive
constructions.
 Collect student work for revision
evaluation.
 Swap products with a peer and read and
comment on: specific word and passive
verb constructions.
Closure [sum up and reflect on the day’s learning; prepare for homework or future work; < 5 minutes]:
 Take the revised product home and
 Discuss problems or questions from the
produce a finished, revised product.
passive voice assignment.
 Write in writing journal.
Extension/assignment: Using the passive voice learning, students will be able to finish the final edit of
their writing product.
Accommodations/provisions for individual differences: Students have chosen their topic, audience and
format previously and are using online sources to convert active voice to passive voice. They may use
any additional resources, online writing labs etc. to help them with the assignment. Any assignment
may be resubmitted for another evaluation.
Formative/summative evaluation: Formative assessment is the ongoing interaction and the
student/teacher mini-conference. Only after all revising is complete will a summative score be assigned.
Self- and/or peer evaluation: Students will peer evaluate in the first time read-through and then a peer
will evaluate looking narrowly for specific word use and passive voice constructions. These will be noted
on the students paper.
Products students will create: Students will create a revised and ready to publish a narrative,
persuasive text on the ospreys of the Rappahannock River area based on the study of the birds and
online resources.
Texts students will read:
http://www.dvrconline.org/onebird.html
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/birds/osprey/
http://www.dgif.virginia.gov/fishing/waterbodies/display.asp?id=170&section=maps
Materials/resources:
http://writingfix.com/WAC/Writing_Across_Curriculum_RAFTS_Science.htm
Rationale [Why is this content/skill important for students? How will this specific instruction be effective
in helping students learn? Connect to course readings and experiences.]:
Students need to understand that the use of the passive voice has its place, especially in scientific
writing. It is important that students be able to manipulate and control their use of language for their
own purposes.
Defining the Passive Voice
A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an action into the subject of a
sentence. That is, whoever or whatever is performing the action is not the grammatical
subject of the sentence. Take a look at this passive rephrasing of a familiar joke:
Why was the road crossed by the chicken?
Who is doing the action in this sentence? The chicken is the one doing the action in this
sentence, but the chicken is not in the spot where you would expect the grammatical
subject to be. Instead, the road is the grammatical subject. The more familiar phrasing
(why did the chicken cross the road?) puts the actor in the subject position, the position of
doing something—the chicken (the actor/doer) crosses the road (the object). We use active
verbs to represent that “doing,” whether it be crossing roads, proposing ideas, making
arguments, or invading houses (more on that shortly).
Once you know what to look for, passive constructions are easy to spot. Look for a form of
“to be” (is, are, am , was, were, has been, have been, had been, will be, will have been,
being) followed by a past participle. (The past participle is a form of the verb that typically,
but not always, ends in “-ed.” Some exceptions to the “-ed” rule are words like “paid” (not
“payed”) and “driven.” (not “drived”). Here’s a sure-fire formula for identifying the passive
voice:
form of “to be” + past participle = passive voice
Use the Passive Voice in Scientific Writing
In some assignments, rather than reporting the results of your own scientific work, you will
be writing about the work of other scientists. Such assignments might include literature
reviews and research reports on scientific topics. You have two main possible tasks in these
assignments: reporting what other people have done (their research or experiments) or
indicating general scientific knowledge (the body of knowledge coming out of others’
research). Often the two go together. In both instances, you can easily use active
constructions even though you might be tempted by the passive—especially if you’re used
to writing your own lab reports in the passive.
You decide: Which of these two examples is clearer?
Heart disease is considered the leading cause of death in the United States. (passive)
or Research points to heart disease as the leading cause of death in the United
States.(active)
Alternatively, you could write this sentence with human actors:
Researchers have concluded that heart disease is the leading cause of death in the United
States.
The last two sentences illustrate a relationship that the first one lacks. The first example
does not tell who or what leads us to accept this conclusion about heart disease.
Here’s one last example from a report that describes angioplasty. Which sounds better to
you?
The balloon is positioned in an area of blockage and is inflated.
or The surgeon positions the balloon in an area of blockage and inflates it.
You can improve your scientific writing by relying less on the passive. The advice we’ve
given for papers on history or literature equally applies to papers in more “scientific”
courses. No matter what field you’re writing in, when you use the passive voice, you risk
conveying to your reader a sense of uncertainty and imprecision regarding your writing and
thinking. The key is to know when your instructor wants you to use the passive voice. For a
more general discussion of writing in the sciences, see our handout.
http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/passive-voice/