A GRADING CHECKLIST
CONTENTS:
1.
DEFINE THEORETICAL TERMS (1)
8.
GRAMMAR ISSUES
2.
DEVELOP THEORETICAL TERMS (1)
9.
THE THESIS
3.
DEVELOP PARAGRAPHS
10. WELL DONE
4.
TRANSITIONS
11. NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION
5.
QUOTATIONS
12. THE WRITING MEDIUM
6.
CONCEPTUALIZING THE PAPER
13. FINAL COMMENTS
7.
USE OF THEORY
HOW TO READ THE GRADING NUMBER SYSTEM ON YOUR PAPERS:
If I write on your paper 1/2, it refers to section one (define theoretical terms)/number 2 (REFLECT
BACK BEFORE MOVING FORWARD: reflect back on the information in the quotation that you
represent before moving forward). If I write 2/6, it refers to section 2 (develop theoretical
terms)/number 6 (Continue to fill in this term with new aspects of information to make it mean more
than it did in a previous section of the paper). Follow this pattern when “reading back” my comments
onto this grading checklist.
HOW TO READ THE GRADING NUMBER SYSTEM ON YOUR PAPERS: If I give you a grade
of 95/75, it means that the top grade reflects what you accomplished in the paper and the bottom
grade refers to what issues you still have to address to become a better writer. The combined grade =
85. That’s your actual grade for the paper.
1. DEFINE THEORETICAL TERMS
1. Reflect back on key elements in the quotation to aid your readers: You have forgotten the lesson
we just learned in the exercise on defining terms and then explaining the key elements in the
definition. Don’t introduce a quotation without explaining it. That is your job: to explain ideas to
your readers. If you don’t explain ideas, they will have no idea what you are discussing. Instead,
you move from one quotation to the next and depend upon the quotation to do the work for you and
your readers. I’d make it a rule of thumb to present two to three sentences of explanation after a
theoretical quotation so you fully flesh out the concept you introduce and it then is in play for your
readers.
2. REFLECT BACK BEFORE MOVING FORWARD: reflect back on the information in the quotation that
you represent before moving forward.
3. WELL DONE: You reflect back on key elements in the quotation to aid your readers: You have
remembered the lesson we just learned in the exercise on defining terms and then explaining the key
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elements in the definition. You do an excellent job of introducing a quotation and then explaining it.
That is your job: to explain ideas to your readers, and you do it well. If you don’t explain ideas, they
will have no idea what you are discussing. But you move from one quotation to its explanation rather
than from one quotation to the next without comment. Good job of explicating theory here for your
readers.
4. DEFINE KEY ELEMENTS: You are working with two theoretical terms here: power and discourse.
One you introduced/defined/explained (power) and the other you did not (discourse). Do the same
for “discourse” that you did for “power.” That is crucial to your project. See PowerPoints 1 and 2. On
your next paper, you need to be able to develop concepts you introduce and define: see PowerPoints
3A/3B.
5. You are presenting attributes before you have defined the term: That works if you are leading
your reader by the hand to a definition, but typically we define the term first by focusing on it
closely and in detail so our readers know what the term means.
6A. DEFINE KEY CONCEPTUAL TERMS (define): Whenever we use theory it is important to define
a theoretical term, develop it through further explanation, and sometimes to provide
examples. Your term is not defined.
6B. DEFINE KEY CONCEPTUAL TERMS (define): Whenever we use theory it is important to define
fully a theoretical term so that your readers can grasp it. Your term is not defined.
7. Formalizing a definition: Good use of quotation to formalize your definition into a theoretical
definition.
8. APPROXIMATE DEFINITION OF YOUR TERM: Whenever you define a term, make certain that
you use either an exact quotation from the text you are studying or a very specific
summarized definition you provide of the term in question. Never use a vague or
generalized definition which does not carry the full import of the term.
9. Reflect back on key elements in the quotation to aid your readers: You have forgotten the lesson
PRESENTED IN POWEROPOINT TWO: Don’t introduce a quotation without explaining it. That is your
job: to explain ideas to your readers. If you don’t explain ideas, they will have no idea what you are
discussing. Instead, you move from one quotation to the next and depend upon the quotation to do
the work for you and your readers. I’d make it a rule of thumb to present two to three sentences of
explanation after a theoretical quotation so you fully flesh out the concept you introduce and it then
is in play for your readers.
10. Excellent presentation of an important definition: You do a fine job of presenting your definition.
It is comprehensive but to the point. You present just enough information for your readers to
contemplate the definition you present. Good job.
11. An Important Distinction: This is what it does, not what it is. Your are developing further aspects of this
approach rather than defining it.
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12. TRY TO USE THE THEORY WE ARE READING AS THE SOURCE OF YOUR DEFINITIONS. DEVELOP YOUR IDEAS
FROM THAT SOURCE AS WELL. A DICTIONARY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GIVE YOUR READERS SUFFICIENT
INFORMATION TO HELP THEM. YOU CAN USE IT AS A WAY TO BEGIN, BUT TURN QUICKLY TO THEORY IN ESSAYS
OR BOOKS, WHICH IS ON A MORE SOPHISTICATED LEVEL.
13. I’VE YELLOWED THE KEY TERMS FROM YOUR DEFINTION THAT YOU NEED TO ADDRESS
TO CALL ATTENTION TO THEM
14. I’VE YELLOWED THE KEY TERMS FROM YOUR DEFINTION THAT YOU NEED TO ADDRESS:
Reflect back on key elements in the quotation to aid your readers: You have forgotten the lesson we
just learned in the exercise on defining terms and then explaining the key elements in the definition.
Don’t introduce a quotation without explaining it. That is your job: to explain ideas to your
readers. If you don’t explain ideas, they will have no idea what you are discussing. Instead, you
move from one quotation to the next and depend upon the quotation to do the work for you and
your readers. I’d make it a rule of thumb to present two to three sentences of explanation after a
theoretical quotation so you fully flesh out the concept you introduce and it then is in play for your
readers.
2. DEVELOP THEORETICAL TERMS
1. DEVELOP KEY CONCEPTUAL TERMS (develop): Whenever we use theory it is important to
define a theoretical term, develop it through further explanation, and sometimes to provide
examples. Your term is not explained. Most writers know how to define a concept and to
provide examples, but growing the concept through further theoretical explanation is a
crucial exercise that most writers have trouble accomplishing. I would suggest studying the
concept. Take out a piece of paper and identify a concept in the text you are reading that you
want to use. Then define it at the top of the paper. After that, go through the section in the
book or essay that where the concept appears and try to find further theoretical explanation
of the concept. Once you find a second aspect of the concept that the writer has explained,
add it to your number list on the sheet of paper you are using to identify, define, and develop the
concept with which you are working. Remember, number each developed point. When you
have enough material to use, try to take a bit of time to study the definition and
development of the concept so that you have it down. Later on in the process try to connect
this key element with other key elements that you have on different sheets of paper.
2. AN EMPTY TERM: Here you use a term that is meaningless to most readers unless they have
studied it like you did. In your capacity as an editor of your own work, try to remember the first time
you heard this term. Try to visualize the time and place, where you were, in what classroom when
you heard it and had no idea what it meant. If you can do that, then you will realize why it is
necessary to define your terms and to develop the definition. See the PowerPoint presentations on
“defining” your terms and “explaining” your definitions for a general readership.
3. ALMOST AN EMPTY TERM: Here you use a term that is has been defined in a minimal way,
which means it is not meaningless to most readers, but not really “realized,” unless they have already
studied term before reading your essay. In your capacity as an editor of your own work, try to
remember the first time you heard this term. It is your responsibility, I believe, as a writer not only to
define the term but to explain the definition so it is “fleshed out.” And then, as you continue to rely
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on it in your essay, to develop the term: see PowerPoints 3a and 3b on developing concepts.
4. ADD MEANING TO THIS TERM: Here you use a term that has been defined and developed but
only in a minimal way. In your capacity as an editor of your own work, you need to “flesh out” aspect
after aspect to DEVELOP your term. See PowerPoints 3a and 3b on developing concepts.
5. Again: to improve this paper, it would be important to continue to theorize the theoretical terms of
engagement as you continue to develop more and more examples. Bits and pieces of theoretical
information add up.
6. Continue to fill in this term with new aspects of information to make it mean more than it did in a
previous section of the paper.
7. DON’T DRIVE BY THEORY. DEVELOP ITS IMPLICATIONS: You needed to contextualize this with some
more information on discourse. Don’t drive by the term. Don’t just mention it and move on.
DEVELOP THE TERM BY EXPLAINING POINTS FOR YOUR READER – NEW POINTS OF ANALYSIS THAT IS.
8. DEVELOP FURTHER (see powerpoint 3): You introduced this term but never fully developed it. Now
is the time to add or develop further implications of the concept as you apply it to the text.
9. REPETITION, NOT DEVELOPMENT: Your reading needs to be re-theorized. You need to DEVELOP
the term theoretically at the same time that you read the novel or the film. Now you are repeating
information you have previously presented, not developing the term you are scrutinizing.
10. DEVELOPMENT OF KEY CONCEPTUAL TERMS: Whenever we use theory it is important to
define a theoretical term, develop it through further explanation, and sometimes to provide
examples. Your term is explained so that your readers will grasp it. You do an excellent job of
growing the concept from the quotation to your analysis of the quotation.
3. DEVELOP PARAGRAPHS
1. DEVELOPMENT OF FIRST PARAGRAPH: A well-conceived and well developed first paragraph
of ideas. In this paragraph you do a good job of introducing your subject in a manner that
will gain your readers' attention.
2. FULLY DEVELOP FIRST PARAGRAPHS: First paragraphs are obviously what your readers
initially encounter. If you realize that you are writing for a large group of readers, then you
will try to present an engaging first paragraph so you do not negate the kind of interest your
readers need to continue with your essay. Sometimes a narrative works here to capture
interest, sometimes an overview that is complete enough to be compellin g. Whatever you
decide to do here, make certain that the ideas are fully developed. You can help yourself
here by paying special attention to how professional writers craft their first paragraphs.
That will show you a variety of approaches that you can appropriate as you write future papers.
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3. DEVELOPMENT OF FIRST PARAGRAPH: Fully develop your first paragraph of ideas. In this
paragraph you need to introduce your central ideas but also a context within which these
ideas can be understood by your readers.
4. FULLY DEVELOP PARAGRAPH IDEAS: You have introduced an important idea for your
purpose in this essay in this paragraph. You did not, however, develop the idea so that there
was more information for your readers to absorb so that they could better understand the
concept you've placed in front of them. As it stands here, the ideas in this paragraph are
only partially developed and, consequently, the paragraph itself is only partially developed.
5. DEVELOPMENT OF IDEAS IN THIS PARAGRAPH: I think you do a fine job of developing ideas in
this paragraph.
6. DEVELOPMENT OF IDEAS IN THIS PARAGRAPH:I think you do a fine job of developing ideas in
this paragraph as you read the aesthetic text in terms of the theory that you have already
introduced.
7. It is impressive how you can develop different aspects of the same concept in paragraph after
paragraph without merely repeating the same ideas. A key idea for you becomes a motif to be
developed. Many other writers give a brief synopsis of the concept a nd then move on.
8. DEVELOPMENT OF IDEAS IN THIS SET OF PARAGRAPHS: Very interesting development of ideas
here. I like the way you introduce an idea and grow it in over several paragraphs.
9. Fully develop elements you introduce in your paragraphs: you’ve introduced this idea in your
paragraph as a key element so you should develop it to add complexity and to maintain and develop
the idea you just introduced.
10. CONCLUDING PARAGRAPHS: This is an excellent concluding paragraph. Not only do you
reflect back to key issues raised earlier in the essay, but you wrap up by offering your own insight(s).
In other words, while concluding, you add another piece to the analytical progression of ideas.
11. CONCLUDING PARAGRAPHS: You need to do a better job of concluding your essay. It is
important to reflect back to key issues raised earlier in the essay as well as concluding the line of
progression by offering your own insight(s). In other words, while concluding, you need to add
another piece to the analytical progression of ideas.
12. SEE PARAGRAPH EXERCISES: You are having difficulty recognizing paragraph boundaries. I’d
take a look at the Basic Writing Course on WebCT at our class site. It will help you with
paragraph construction.
13. Good specific analysis of the ideas you raise. You develop ideas in a very specific manner;
this will help your readers understand the subtle nuances of the terms in question
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14. Now that you have introduced this sentence, which presents an interesting idea, you need to
develop it for your readers in another sentence of two: see 4/3.
15. SEE PARAGRAPH EXERCISES: You are having difficulty recognizing paragraph boundaries. I’d
take a look at the Basic Writing Course on WebCT at our class site. It will help you with
paragraph construction.
16. DEVELOPMENT OF IDEAS: A well developed paragraph of ideas. This is by far your strongest
paragraph. It contains more of you and your analysis of the terms you are examining.
17. DON’T MERELY REPEAT WHAT YOU’VE LEARNED: you have developed the ideas much the same
way that they were developed in class. Your job was to use what we did in class as a springboard for
your own observations. Your job was to resynthesize the material and come up with your own
reading.
15. I think you took good notes in class and have done an admirable job of relating them in this
paragraph. Next time, try to take this whole process to the next level: try to resynthesize the
material so you begin to use my comments as a jumping off point for your own observations.
4. TRANSITIONS
1. GOOD TRANSITION BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS: Here you make a good transition to a related idea
in your next paragraph. Part of writing an essay involves the ability to link related ideas
together from preceding paragraph to the succeeding paragraph. The split between paragraphs
indicates a transition from one idea to another idea. This allows your reader to have a clearer idea
that you have finished developing one idea and are about to begin to develop a related
concept. It also signals to your reader, through the spatial conclusion of your paragraph, that
s/he can pause before resuming the reading process.
2. GAP IN TRANSITION BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS IN AN ESSAY: There is a gap in transition between
paragraphs at this point in your essay. It is important to recognize that your progression in an essay
is a progression of ideas, not names or narratives. Try to visualize the main idea you were working
with in the previous paragraph; then try to visualize the main idea you are working with in your
present paragraph. Then try to create a lexical bridge between the paragraphs you that you indicate
for your readers the transition so they can follow your shift in ideas from one paragraph to the
next.
3. ANOTHER SEAMLESS TRANSITION BETWEEN PARAGRAPHS
4. GAP IN TRANSITION OF IDEAS WITHIN A PARAGRAPH: There is a gap in transition
between ideas within this paragraph. Try to visualize your topic sentence within the paragraph.
Then break conceptualize its component parts so you are aware of its key elements. It is those
elements and their relation to each other that should constitute the progression of ideas in the
paragraph. If there is a gap in the transition between sentences, this means that you are not
following the progression of ideas dictated by your choice of component parts in your topic
sentence.
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5. Good transition between sentences: You adeptly shift between related ideas in a seamless
manner. Shifting from one idea to another, which is not easy. Shifting between literature and
theory is also difficult. You do it effortlessly here.
6. BUILD ONE PARGRAPH OUT OF TWO SHORT UNDEVELOPED PARAGRAPHS: Build in a transition so
you can stay in the same paragraph: take two undeveloped paragraphs and combine them into one
developed progression of ideas.
7. QUICK TRANSITION HERE: YOU ARE MOVING TOO QUICKLY BETWEEN IDEAS AND NOT DRAWING
CONNECTIONS FOR YOUR READERS: ANOTHER RADICALLY FAST TRANSITION THAT DOES NOT FLOW
EASILY. YOU RISK LOSING YOUR READERS WITH SUCH TRANSITIONS.
8. AN "UNENDING" PROGRESSION WITHOUT ADEQUATE TRANSITION: Here your paragraph goes on
and on without splitting into digestible strands of thought. In other words, your paragraph has
gone on past its point of effectiveness. Therefore, you need to create a new paragraph here with the
shift in ideas that you have just introduced. See "paragraphs" in a grammar of your choice.
9. Small Gap in transition here between sentence ideas.
10. If this has been a problem for you in the past (or if you don’t recognize it as a grammatical error),
I’d start working with English 3200 immediately. You are welcome to see me in conference about this
issue so we can discuss it.
5. QUOTATIONS
1. Good Use of Quotation from the Novel: this quotation places us in the novel at the same time
as it places the novel in the service of your essay.
2. Good Use of Quotation from the Film: this quotation places us in the novel at the same time
as it places the film in the service of your development of ideas in the essay.
3. Good Use of Quotation from the theory: this quotation places us in the theory at the same
time as it places your readers in the progression of ideas you are developing.
4. Good use of block quotation: This large block quotation provides an abundance of
information for your readers. It is important not to use too many block quotations because your
readers will have difficulty following the progression of ideas in your essay. But a well chosen
block quotation, as you use here can be helpful.
5. Overuse of block quotation: Don’t overuse the block quotation. Use it like you do here: for
crucial situations that need an echo from another voice and information from another source.
6. Don’t overuse block quotations: Learn how to use part of the quotation while retaining your
syntax. And then weaving in another part of it. Or using a larger part after a colon. And learn how to
use a three dot ellipsis to help you to not over use large block quotation marks.
7. You present your readers with a reading of this quotation so they can learn from the quotation and
your analysis of it. Great job.
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8. DON'T THINK THAT QUOTATIONS WILL DO THE WORK OF EXPLICATING DIFFICULT CONCEPTUAL
IDEAS. You needed to turn back to the quotation that you just introduced. It is important to
take those elements from the quotation and develop the implication of them by examining
their interrelationship in a developed and therefore satisfying way. By doing this, you can
give your readers new information that will help them to read the quotation differently, that is, in
a more sophisticated fashion.
9. GOOD USE OF A QUOTATION THAT ALLOWS YOU TO PLACE YOUR READERS IN THE LINE
OF PROGRESSION: You made an excellent choice here to include an important quotation for the
purpose of defining a key idea in your essay. This quotation sets out important information
before your readers that enables them to gain insight on an important idea in your essay.
10. GOOD DEVELOPMENT OF QUOTATION: You did an excellent job of lifting the key ideas out of
the block quotation you just introduced. You have taken those elements from the quotation and
developed the implication of them by examining their interrelationship in a developed and
therefore satisfying way. By doing this, you have given your readers new information that
will help them to read the quotation differently, that is, in a more sophisticated fashion.
11. FULLY DEVELOP IDEAS AFTER THEY ARE INTRODUCED IN A QUOTATION: You have introduced
an important quotation for your purpose in this essay. You needed, however, to
examine the quotation for its important component parts, which I have underlined in the
paragraph above. You needed to do that for two reasons: (1) to develop immediately after
the quotation the most important component parts so your reader can understand them;
(2) to show the interrelationship of these parts so the interactions with one another can be
understood by your reader as well. Once you have recognized them and studied them, you
need to explain them for your readers before moving onto the next sequence of ideas which
you will develop. Once you do move on, you can then integrate th e next set of ideas with
those you just explained for your readers.
12. The problem with this paragraph is that your analysis is absent. Instead, you substitute a series of
quotations: too many quotations and not enough of your voice and your analysis.
6. CONCEPTUALIZING THE PAPER
1. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT IMPROVEMENT YOU COULD IMPLEMENT NEXT TIME YOU WRITE AN
ESSAY: Can you see that another level of analysis could be added here? In your next essay, add a
theoretical level in which you continue to develop other aspects of the theoretical terms you put in
play in your paper. I believe that this is the most important point I can convey to you at this time. In
your next essay, really study the theory: give attention to introducing concepts, fully defining
concepts and explaining your definitions. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, PAY ATTENTION TO DEVELOPING
YOUR CONCEPTS: find 3 or 4 or 5 theoretical aspects of each concept so you can introduce them, in a
time delay at any point in your paper that you see fit to help your readers understand the film or
novel under consideration in a THEORETICAL FRAME OF REFERENCE.
2. DISCONTINUOUS PROGRESSIONS: You have presented a number of short, choppy, only
partially related paragraphs that show very little direct connectedn ess. It is crucial, if you
want to keep your readers' attention, to do two things: (1) to fully develop paragraph ideas
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to provide enough information that when your reader is finished with the paragraph, they
will feel satisfied that they know the concept under consideration; (2) to build bridges
between your paragraphs so that they can follow your attempts to link together a key idea
from your present paragraph with the next idea that they will encounter in your next paragraph.
3. VEERED OFF COURSE: You have veered off course in this paragraph and are no longer developing
the key terms in your thesis. Establishing a thesis is an exercise in creativity. Once you
create a thesis and its distinct elements, however, your ver y creativity locks you into a
constrained development of its key concepts as well as the interrelation of those concepts. If
you wanted to use this new set of ideas presented at this point in your progression, these
ideas should have been integrated into your thesis and the progression of ideas related to
them. Otherwise, you end up with what you have here: a second, disconnected layer of
progression to the essay – one that blinks on and off, but is never fully integrated into the
progression of ideas stemming from your thesis.
7. USE OF THEORY
1. Your paper lacks theory. You need to carefully examine the PowerPoints on introducing a theory,
defining a theory, and developing a theory. Look at the student papers I’ve uploaded. Do all this with
an eye on the theory itself. Then go back to the theoretical essays and decide what you want to
study. Study the essays for the concepts you want to use. THEN ADD THEM INTO THE ESSAY AND
INTEGRATE THEM.
2. You do use theory but only at the suggestive level. You need to use the theory in such a way that it
builds another layer to the intellectual strata of the essay you have written. When used correctly,
theory adds another dimension to an essay.
3. A General Term needs to be theorized in a very Specific Manner: you have introduced a theoretical
term, so now it is time to define and to develop that term so that your readers can conceptualize the
term being analyzed.
4. Try not to generalize when making claims. Be specific when supporting your thesis or topic
sentence.
5. DON’T MERELY REPEAT WHAT YOU’VE LEARNED: you are pretty much repeating what I said in class
and on my handouts. I’d like you to synthesize the material and come up with your own reading.
8. GRAMMAR ISSUES
1. FRAGMENT: see FRAGEMENT in a grammar. This is a major issue that indicates that you are
having trouble recognizing sentence boundaries. SEE ENGLISH 3200 BY JOSEPH BLUMENTHAL. Work
with Units 1-6 and Unit 12. It is the only grammar text I know that does not assume you know
sentence boundaries. Instead it teaches them to you in a step by step manner. Some people
could actually be insulted by how easy the books seem to be, but I used it to learn how to become a
published author. It is systematic and it is very helpful. THERE ARE COPIES OF ENGLISH 3200 ON
RESERVE UNDER MY NAME AT THE LIBRARY.
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2. COMMA SPLICE: see a comma splice in a grammar. This is a major issue that indicates that you
are having trouble recognizing sentence boundaries. SEE ENGLISH 3200 BY JOSEPH BLUMENTHAL.
Work with Units 1-6 and Unit 12. It is the only grammar text I know that does not assume you
know sentence boundaries. Instead it teaches them to you in a step by step manner. Some
people could actually be insulted by how easy the books seem to be, but I used it to learn how to
become a published author. It is systematic and it is very helpful. THERE ARE COPIES OF ENGLISH 3200
ON RESERVE UNDER MY NAME AT THE LIBRARY.
3. RUN-ON SENTENCE: see a run on sentences in a grammar. This is a major issue that indicates
that you are having trouble recognizing sentence boundaries. SEE ENGLISH 3200 BY JOSEPH
BLUMENTHAL. Work with Units 1-6 and Unit 12. It is the only grammar text I know that does not
assume you know sentence boundaries. Instead it teaches them to you in a step by step
manner. Some people could actually be insulted by how easy the books seem to be, but I used it to
learn how to become a published author. It is systematic and it is very helpful. THERE ARE COPIES OF
ENGLISH 3200 ON RESERVE UNDER MY NAME AT THE LIBRARY.
4. ITALIC OR UNDERLINING: Don't underline the title of essays; place them in quotation marks. Do
underline the title of novels, plays, films, etc. Generally speaking, when we cite the title of a work that
stands alone as a single entity--such as a book, movie, magazine, newspaper, album, or play--we
should use italics. When we refer to the titles of works that appear inside those larger entities--such
as articles, poems, short stories, and songs--we should enclose them in quotation marks. Here is an
example showing how the title of a magazine is italicized. Correct: Time magazine carried a review of
Blade Runner, the film based on the novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
5. QUOTATION MARK PLACEMENT: Place the quotations marks outside the comma and period; place
the quotations marks inside the semicolon and colon. Place the period within the quotation
marks as I do at the end of this sentence: I won’t call attention to this mistake again; you get the idea
by now. This is incorrect: sphere being organized”. This is correct: sphere being organized.”
6. PERIOD AFTER QUOTATION: When you have a quotation at the end of the sentence and you want
to cite it, place the period after the citation. Here is an example of incorrect usage:
1. INCORRECT PLACEMENT OF PERIOD AT THE END OF THE SENTENCE: It is “the process which,
through ceaseless struggles and confrontations, transforms, strengthens, or reverses the
sphere being organized.” (Foucault 1)
2. CORRECT PLACMENT OF PERIOD AT THE END OF THE SENTENCE: It is “the process which,
through ceaseless struggles and confrontations, transforms, strengthens, or reverses the
sphere being organized” (Foucault 1).
7. WORDY SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION: Here is what one grammarian says about
wordiness: "wordiness is a needless excess of words, that is, more words than
a writer actually needs to communicate his [or her] point. Avoid wordiness
because it makes writing appear too abstract, uninteresting, and tedious. The
opposite of wordiness is conciseness, which is a virtue in writing. But
remember that long sentences are not necessarily wordy, and short
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sentences concise."
8. ITS/IT'S: Dictionary.com provides the following information about the
distinction between its and it's:
Q. What is the difference between its and it's?
A. Its is the possessive form of it. It's is a contraction of it is or it has.
Examples:
It's a common mistake.
The boat has a hole in its hull.
9. CLARITY OF EXPRESSSION: This statement is not as clear as it could be.
True to be more precise with your phrasing.
10. SUBJECT/VERB: See SUBJECT/VERB agreement in a grammar.
11. POSSESSIVE: When we want to show that something belongs to somebody or
something, we usually add 's to a singular noun and an apostrophe ' to a plural
noun, for example:
the boy's ball (one boy)
the boys' ball (two or more boys)
Notice that the number of balls does not matter. The structure is influenced by
the possessor and not the possessed.
12. ITALIC OR UNDERLINING: Don't underline or place in italic the title of essays; place them in
quotation marks.
9. THE THESIS
1. DEVELOP YOUR THESIS IN VERY SPECIFIC TERMS: Be specific when you develop key theoretical
concepts in relation to your essay’s thesis. You needed to spend more time developing and
integrating key concepts of your thesis as they are applied to the examples from the novel or
film under analysis.
2. DEVELOP YOUR THESIS IN VERY SPECIFIC TERMS: I like the time and effort you mobilize to read
the key theoretical concept you have developed, but you needed more time to integrate the
theory with the examples you present from the novel (or film).
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3. DIFFICULTY RECOGNIZING A THESIS STATEMENT: You are having difficulty recognizing a thesis. I’d
look at the basic writing course on our Web CT site and study the entire course, especially the section
on constructing the key elements of the thesis statement.
10. WELL DONE
1. WELL CONCEIVED AND WELL WRITTEN: a powerful prose statement that shows some real
intelligence at work in the thinking through of this heady material.
2. WELL-CHOSEN EXAMPLES FROM THE LITERARY TEXT: Good use of well-chosen
examples from the literary text that helps your readers conceptualizes the point
you've chosen to make at this point in your analysis.
3. Good use of interweaving quotations here: Throughout the paragraph you pepper your
readers with small succinct quotations that you intersperse within more causal language:
EXCELLENT Good extension of the theoretical ideas: you do a good job of extending the
implications of the ideas that you just presented in the previous passage.
4. Excellent distinctions here show you know the material and can explain it to your readers in a
way that they could learn from you.
5.
IMPRESSIVE EXTENSION OF THEORETICAL THOUGHT AS YOU ANALYZE THE AESTHETIC
TEXT: I'm impressed how you continue to turn back to the theory to develop its
implications as you study the novel or film under analysis.
6. WELL CONCEIVED AND SPECIFIC ANALYSIS OF THE KEY TERMS IN QUESTION: You offer here
a well conceived analysis that shows considered thought as well as time and effort
utilized to produce such a specific and thorough analysis.
7. DESCRIPTIVE PROSE STATEMENT: Good use of description here to set up the scene for your
readers. From this progression of sentences within the paragraph, you have painted a
picture for your readers, making it easier to see what your words depict.
8. GOOD POINT/VIVIDLY PUT: This is an important point you make here, so it helps that the
language you use to convey it is chosen to aid in emphasizing this important process.
9. Backdrop Painted: I like the way that you paint, in a concise paragraph, the backdrop for your
study. Your readers would follow this and appreciate the work you did here. You did not go
on and on and forget the larger overall purpose of your paper, but you did give your readers a
verbal picture that they could follow.
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10. IMPRESSIVE EXTENSION OF THEORETICAL THOUGHT AS YOU ANALYZE THE AESTHETIC
TEXT: I'm impressed how you continue to turn back to the theory to develop its
implications as you study the novel or film under analysis.
11. VERY SMART OBSERVATION THAT SHOWS ME WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF AS YOU
GROW AS AN INTELLECTUAL.
12. WELL CONCEIVED AND SPECIFIC ANALYSIS OF THE KEY TERMS IN QUESTION: You offer here
a well conceived analysis that shows considered thought as well as time and effort
utilized to produce such a specific and thorough analysis.
13. Interesting idea here.
11. NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION
1. AWKWARD PHRASING: This almost says what you want it to say. Read it over a number of
times and you can hear it is off a little. Spend more time with the writing itself. More time
with the writing itself would take you to the next level as a thinker/writer. Never neglect the
word, the phrase, the sentence. Live in them, love them, honor them – not with pressure so
they sound good for the other, but with care so you honor yourself by honoring your words.
Try to make this process as stress free as possible; see it as a guitar player sees the music.
Enjoy your writing and give it ample time.
2. AWKWARD PHRASING IN SOME PARTS OF THE ESSAY THUS FAR: Read over your essay a
number of times and see if you can hear if certain passages sound a little off. Spend more
time with the writing itself. More time with the writing process would help you become a
more sophisticated thinker and writer. Never neglect the word, the phrase, the sentence.
Live in them, love them, honor them – not with pressure so they sound good for the other, but
with care so you honor yourself by honoring your words. Try to make this process as stress
free as possible; see it as a guitar player sees the music. Enjoy your writing and give it ample
time.
3. THE “THING” WORD: The “thing” word is usually problematic in that it stands for a word in a
sentence that has been thought up yet. Thing covers it all, so try to use it as a signal for you to
find a more precise thought-generated term.
4. You need to paint this picture for your readers. After all they might never have seen the film
or read the novel and then would not know what you are talking about.
5. Avoid Clichés: Clichés are an indication that at the moment that you wrote one, you allowed
lazy thinking think for you, that is, you allowed others to assemble a phrase for you rather
than really thinking what might be the best phrase in that particular part of your paper. Here
are tips to cut down on clichés and add more of your thinking to your paper: recognize clichés
before you use them. If a word sounds overused or trite to you, look for a different one.
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Rewrite clichés in new ways. To convey the same meaning found in the simile "as happy as a
lark"' without using that worn-out phrase, change it to . . . . [you fill in the blank].
6. bell hooks spells her name with no capital letters. When you mention a writer for the first
time, use both names so your reader knows who you citing.
12. THE WRITING MEDIUM
1. AN EXERCISE IN REWRITING: I have added words to this sentence in hopes of showing
you how a fleshed out version of the sentence you present here might look. Please read my
sentence within the progression of sentences within the paragraph. Try to see what I was up
to. Then overwrite my revision in your own words.
2. THE NOTION OF A GENERAL AUDIENCE: Remember that you are writing for a general
academic audience, not for me. So anytime you introduce a theoretical term or allude to a
concept that your reader might not necessarily understand, it needs to be defined
and/or explained. Imagine yourself reading your essay on the first day of class. Would you
be able to understand your own reference here? Would you not want all of your
conceptual references explained in a matter that you could understand them?
3. WRITING IS A STUPID MEDIUM: Writing is a stupid medium compared to film. We need the
thinnest thread with film to see the most nuanced sophisticated aspects of its storyline or
characterization of subjectivity. But writing is a very old medium, and thus we have
to compensate for its deficiencies. As writers, we need to build up a body of information
for our readers for them to conceptualize what we are saying.
4. WRITING IS A STUPID MEDIUM: Writing is a stupid medium compared to film. We need the
thinnest thread with film to see the most nuanced sophisticated aspects of its storyline or
characterization of subjectivity. But writing is a very old medium, and thus we have
to compensate for its deficiencies. As writers, we need to build up a body of information
for our readers for them to conceptualize what we are saying. You do this well. You seem to
know that your readers are not "in your head" so to speak. They only have words on a page.
And the words you provide are constructed in such a way as they can follow your argument.
13. FINAL COMMENTS
1. Please see me about this issue. I’d like to hear your opinion on this matter.
2. The prose itself needs more attention: I’d spend my time studying your sentences and then
polishing them so they are clear and easy to read.
3. The paragraph is well conceived, but the writing itself needs to be polished. I’d create another
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phase in your writing process, one in which you devote time solely to working with words and
sentences. Prune your sentences, edit them, and eliminate the underbrush of wordy and/or
awkward constructions.
4. When you define your terms, you don’t really define them
5. Very smart and very well developed. I think this is an excellent example of a well considered, well
written piece of prose. I admire the effort you expended in thinking through your material and
patiently polishing your prose.
6. I think you do an excellent job of analyzing the theory and developing the concept you detail for
your readers.
7. Well conceived but there are still issues that I note which need your attention.
8. Make certain that you concentrate your efforts to work with examples from the literary and filmic
texts.
9. The writing itself needs work. I’d spend more time writing and revising and then revising your
paper again.