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Julia Winn
Professor Rose Wellman
ANTH 2500
20 October 2011
“The Gentler Sex”: Emotion and Rationality in the Female Gender in Iran
Gender refers not just to sex, but also to the mannerisms, traits, and relationships
associated with each sex. By this definition, the concept of gender varies greatly between
societies. In Muslim communities, gender and religious identities are highly intertwined, because
religion serves as such an overwhelming and widespread institution. One version of the typical
Iranian view of gender emanates from Shi’i Islamic texts that portray the male gender as ruled by
reason and the female gender as ruled by emotion. The image of Zaynab, the sister of the
martyred Imam Husayn, “as buried in grief, pulling at her hair and shedding copious tears over
the dead and dying” embodies this gender trait (Deeb 2005:127). Though Muslim men and texts
state that women are the more emotional sex, various Muslim practices show that female gender
identity is much more complex, contradicting this assumption. Women in Iran display a complex
dichotomy of both emotion and reason, showing emotion in religious ceremonies and reason in
marriage and divorce proceedings.
Shi’i Muslim mourning rituals of Ashura, majalis, commemorate the martyrdom of Imam
Husayn and that generally reiterate the traditional Islamic interpretation of the female gender as
more emotional. Since Zaynab, the surviving sister of the Imam, serves as “an idealized role
model for piety” for religious women, these women often emulate how she must have felt after
the death of her brother (Deeb 2005: 123). Thus, during this ritual women usually cry profusely
to show their grief over the suffering of the Imam and his family. Crying publicly to show grief
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is characteristic mostly of the women in these ceremonies. In contrast, men show their grief often
through self-flagellation, or latam, during majalis (Deeb 2005:124). By nature, majalis are
emotional occasions, because “tears shed for the martyrs of Karbala are tears that are mustahabb,
or religiously commendable” (Deeb 2005: 129). Since everyone participating in the ceremony
wants to gain religious merit, the participants express their feelings. Women lack the opportunity
to depict their reason in majalis since the key aspect of the ritual focuses on feeling and empathy
rather than rational discourse. However, notably, the shift to an “authentic” form of majalis
seems to emphasize women’s activity and rationality more than the traditional form. Previously
Zaynab had only been portrayed as a mourner, but recent authenticated majalis have emphasized
her “courage, strength, and resilience” (Deeb 2005:127). This trend (though noted in Lebanon)
may also represent trends in Iran, and could transition women into displaying more reason and
rationality in the ceremony. This shift to authentic majalis contributes to the complex mixture of
emotion and rationality displayed in the Iranian female gender.
Another example of Shi’i religious ceremonies is mowludis, the birthday celebrations of
Imams and other religious figures, which are joyful occasions with exuberance, singing, and
poems. Only females attend mowludis, which occur “in the private atmosphere of the home
where only invited female guests have access” (Kalinock 2003: 173). Women do not typically
demonstrate their rationality in these, because mowludis focus on joy, unrestrained emotion and
expression of religious fervor. For example, women began to cry tears of joy at the mowludi
hosted by Mrs. Payandeh (Kalinock 2003: 178). During these gatherings, women also read
poems and clap (Kalinock 2003: 178). Rarely, women may even perform plays about “Fatimah’s
invitation to the wedding of the Qoreysh” (Kalinock 2003:175). Kalinock’s article depicts the
differences in several mowludis, which can range from fairly serious and religious to similar to
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secular parties. Mowludis are thought to bring religious merit, although “many women are
convinced that crying and having a broken heart (del-e shekasteh) out of empathy with the
Imams’ suffering are more effective means of getting one’s wishes fulfilled” (Kalinock 2003:
178). Though it is mostly exuberance and joy displayed in mowludis, as opposed to the sadness
of majalis, both ceremonies allow women to display their emotions.
Sofrehs, female-only ceremonial votive meals, use food for religious means and reinforce
traditional concept of the female gender as more emotional. The main purpose of these
gatherings is wish fulfillment. The Islamic interpretation of femininity is that women are ruled
by nafs, the “animal part of human nature [that] includes passion, lust, desire” (Torab 1996:
236). This definition of emotion refers to desire and want. Thus, since sofrehs are hosted to grant
wishes or desires, they perpetuate this gender role. Also, the nature of these gatherings can
become quite emotional, since a sofreh may be held to prevent emotional issues like “danger,
misfortune, or sickness” (Shirazi 2005:298). Food in the sofrehs is of the upmost symbolic
importance, and is often tied to emotion. For example, the stew ash-e amaj kumaj is specifically
offered in sofrehs for a woman with a man or child in prison (Shirazi 2005: 299). By preparing
and offering this dish, women hope for the safety and security of their loved ones. Sofrehs are
also a social time when women can bond and chat. Women feel comfortable opening up and
sharing their emotions because “sofreh provides a place where women with similar beliefs, social
status, and state of mind can meet” without the presence of males (Shirazi 2005:309). Sofrehs,
along with other Shi’i religious ceremonies, allow women to demonstrate their emotion.
Compared to religious ceremonies, marriage customs in Iran display a more rational side
of the female gender because women often separate marriage from romance. Unlike their
emotional displays in religious ceremonies, women display a great deal of the “masculine”
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quality of rationality in marriage customs. The bride price, mahr, is given to the Iranian bride in
exchange for the man’s control of her reproductive organs (Haeri 1989: 37). Since marriage is
already viewed as a contract in Iran, it does not necessarily have the emotional connotations we
attribute to it in the United States. In fact, women use their brideprice as a way to evaluate their
worth, demonstrating their rationality and reason. A woman adjusts and sets her bride price
depending on her education level (in class, 10/19). For instance, one female professor describes
how she used her mahr worth 1370 gold coins as a bargaining chip to gain her divorce (in class,
10/19). She likely had such a high brideprice due to her high education level. Also women in
Iran often use temporary marriage (sigheh) to gain religious merit rather than love. For example,
“sometimes older women…arrange a sigheh marriage with [a] sayyid, often of the nonsexual
type, before dispatching him on his proxy pilgrimage” in order to gain religious merit (Haeri
1989: 80). Women use reason to find loopholes in the system. Another example is that of Mrs.
Omid, who uses non-sexual sigheh between her daughter and clergyman teacher in order to
further her religious education (Torab 1996: 239). Women cunningly negotiate their brideprice
and use sigheh marriages to their advantages, showing their reason and rationality.
Divorce proceedings also demonstrate the rational qualities of female gender in Iran.
Women seeking divorce often represent themselves, and must use logic and reason to explain
their point rather than sentiment. Some women can be quite calculating in these exchanges. For
example, in the documentary Divorce Iranian Style, 16 year-old bride Ziba fights for her right to
a divorce from her older husband and her brideprice of $10,000. Though she often becomes
angry and heated when arguing her case, she represents herself using a logical argument and has
knowledge of her rights, even trying to get an insanity test for her husband. Ziba uses her age to
her advantage by emphasizing how naïve and young she was when she got married, and how she
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wants to continue her education. Another woman featured in the film, Massi, wants a divorce
from her husband because they no longer get along. She calmly yet persistently battles to get the
clerk to find her missing file. She uses summons to call her husband back to court, and is highly
assertive in her claims that he has sexual problems. Massi fights for her right to a divorce and the
marriage gift, though in the end she agrees to give up the gift in order to get her divorce and
avoid a long court battle. Neither of the two women mentioned or any women featured in the
film showed tears in the courtroom, but rather showed skill at arguing and obtaining what they
want.
Often, practice seems to go against theory. The Islamic texts assume that females are the
weaker, more emotional sex, and that their emotion overrides their reason. Since females are
considered to have more nafs than males, “men often denigrate women’s talk as malicious gossip
(qeybat) and dismiss some of their religious practices as merely suspicious (khorafat)” (Torab
1996:237). By denigrating women’s practices, male leaders continue the stereotype that the
female gender is ruled solely by emotion. Indeed, women’s roles in religious ceremonies are
often more emotional and social than rational. However, Iranian women demonstrate a great deal
of reason in marriage and court proceedings, contradicting this stereotype. Perhaps the only
reason women are seen as more emotional is that pious women believe the claims of religious
texts, thus perpetuating this stereotype themselves. Regardless, Iranian women demonstrate a
complex mixture of emotion and reason, showing their gender role is not as clear cut as religious
texts may imply.
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