Frequent Mistake
Example of the mistake
Example of how to improve
Not exploring
connotations of words
in enough detail.
The phrase ‘love spins
gold, gold, gold from
straw’ clearly shows the
passion felt for the other
person in the
relationship.
The use of the word ‘gold’ is effective here as it suggests that love can create something precious
and valuable out of something as mundane and boring as straw, which cleverly demonstrates the
power of love. The reference to the fairy story of ‘Rapunzel’ here is also effective as it lends an
almost magical and mysterious tone to this line.
Not explaining the
effects of alliteration
effectively.
In the phrase ‘trigger of
my tongue’ is effective as
the writer uses
alliteration to show how
painful the experience is.
The use of alliteration in the phrase ‘trigger of my tongue’ is particularly effective as it uses
plosive ‘t’ and hard ‘g’ sounds to reflect the pungent nature of the fight, and almost sounds like
bullets being released from the gun, helping the reader clearly visualise the pain the speaker
must be experiencing.
Not explaining how the
technique supports the
interpretation in
enough detail.
The poet uses
personification really
effectively in ‘Hour’ by
saying ‘Time hates Love’
which supports the
meaning of the poem.
The poem ‘Hour’ discusses strong feelings in the context of a couple who feel as though time is
running out, but their love is able to over-power time. The personification of ‘Time’ in ‘Time
hates Love’ is very effective as it demonstrates a strong feeling ‘hate’ which contrasts with the
clear sense of love in the poem, and the personification makes ‘Time’ seem like a much more
powerful element, generating our sympathy for the lovers.
Just listing
quotations/examples.
The poet uses many
words from the semantic
field of war, for example
‘parachute’, ‘unexploded
mine’, ‘blown’ and
‘bullet’. These show that
the man has come back
from war.
The use of words from the semantic field of war, such as ‘parachute’, ‘unexploded mine’, ‘blown’
and ‘bullet’, as well as reminding us of the story of Eddie’s war injuries, also reflect the fractured
and potentially destructive nature of the relationship being described in the poem. A particularly
effective example is ‘unexploded mine’, as the fact it hasn’t exploded yet suggests that the
emotions here are a ticking time bomb, creating a very tense atmosphere in the poem.
Additionally, the half-rhyme of ‘mine’ and ‘mind’ creates a jarring sound, adding to the tension
here.
Not interpreting
figurative language in
enough detail.
The poet uses the
metaphor of ‘parachute
silk’ which shows how
delicate the man is
feeling and show that the
man has come back from
war.
The metaphor of ‘parachute silk of his punctured lung’ is particularly effective as it both reminds
us of the violent history but also suggests that his body is delicate and that breaking it would
have huge consequences. This is because silk can rip easily and a ripped parachute has the
potential for huge damage. Additionally, silk is a very precious and delicate fabric and suggests
that the man’s body is precious and valuable to the speaker of the poem.
Not exploring
connotations of words
in enough detail.
The use of the word
‘groan’ in ‘hear me groan’
shows that the speaker is
in pain.
The long, drawn-out ‘o’ sound in ‘hear me groan’ is effective as it is onomatopoeic, allowing the
reader to really hear the emotional agony the speaker feels when reading these messages. It also
reflects the extended metaphor of cowboy duels as we are familiar with the groaning noise made
by injured duellists from Western films.
Not explaining the
effects of a technique
effectively or in enough
detail.
The repetition of the
phrase ‘tired, terribly
tired’ clearly shows how
exhausting it is not to
have support in your
marriage.
It is clear that the repetition of the long, drawn-out ‘i' sound in ‘tired’ is effective as it slows down
the pace of the line, reflecting the monotony and exhaustion of life without the support of
marriage.
Making vague
comments about
enjambement.
The use of enjambement
in the line ‘then blast me
/ through the heart’ is
effective as it makes the
poem flow and makes the
tone quite dramatic.
The use of enjambement in ‘Quickdraw’ is very effective as it contrasts sharply with the use of
very short sentences, caesura and endstopping. For example, the enjambement in the phrase
‘blast me / through the heart’ divides the line into two very short phrases, and the endstopping
of the second phrase makes the reader stop, abruptly and focus on the word ‘heart’, which
clearly reflects the importance of emotion in this duel of wits. This also effectively reflects the
start-stop nature of duels where the pace and excitement can change very quickly.