Agenda for the Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation

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Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
TRAINING GUIDE FOR ALUMNI MENTORS
DRAFT FOR REVIEW
LATIN AMERICA
Cohort 7
th
December 8 – December 12th, 2008
Guadalajara, Mexico
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
TRAINING GUIDE FOR ALUMNI MENTORS
Table of Contents
Agenda for the Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation ......................................................................................................................... 3
You are the first Pride Alumni Mentors! ......................................................................................................................................... 4
Day 1: Mentor Orientation & Pride Skills Upgrade ........................................................................................................................ 5
Orientation Guidelines ................................................................................................................................................................... 5
Orientation Objectives ................................................................................................................................................................... 5
Day 2: Mentors Join Pride “Negotiation” Training ......................................................................................................................... 6
Day 3: Mentor Training Workshop ................................................................................................................................................. 7
Mentor Roles ................................................................................................................................................................................. 7
Pride Alumni Mentors Program Objectives.................................................................................................................................... 9
Pride Alumni Mentors Roles .......................................................................................................................................................... 9
WHAT MAKES A GOOD MENTOR? .......................................................................................................................................... 10
QUALITIES OF SUCCESSFUL MENTORS................................................................................................................................ 11
Pride Alumni Mentor Terms of Reference ................................................................................................................................... 12
HELPFUL COMMUNICATION SKILLS ....................................................................................................................................... 13
Active Listening Skills .................................................................................................................................................................. 16
Day 4: Mentor-Mentee Interaction ............................................................................................................................................... 17
The Mentoring Relationship Cycle ............................................................................................................................................... 17
Stages of a Mentoring Relationship ............................................................................................................................................. 18
List of References ........................................................................................................................................................................ 19
Agenda for the Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
(Updated November 20, 2008)
Environment:
Agenda
flipchart
Pre-work


Free time
board
Alumni video interview signup sheet
Day 1 (Monday Dec 8th)
Mentor Orientation & Pride Skills
Upgrade
(8:00-9:00) BREAKFAST
Journey Map Exercise (60 minutes)
What’s New with Rare (30 minutes)


Post stories & notes from mentor orientation on Mentors group page
Follow up on RP mentors groups
Day 2 (Tuesday Dec 9th)
Day 3 (Wednesday Dec 10th)
Mentors Join Pride
Mentor Training Workshop
“Negotiation” Training
(8:00-9:00)
(8:00-9:00) BREAKFAST
BREAKFAST
Welcome (30 minutes)
Energizer: (15 minutes)
Attend Negotiation
Session with Campaign
Managers
(see curriculum agenda)
Theory of Change Introduction (60
– 120 minutes) (needs to be cut
shorter)
(8:00-9:00) BREAKFAST
Energizer: (15 minutes) (Conducted
by Alumni Mentor)
Evaluation?
What is a Mentor?: (60 minutes)
Preparation for Meeting with
Campaign Manager Mentees: (30
minutes)
Global Alumni Network (30
minutes)
Friday Dec
12th
Welcome/Agenda: (15 minutes)
Listening With Both Ears: Good
Communication Skills: (60 minutes)
Miradi Introduction (60 – 90
minutes) (needs to be cut shorter)
Day 4 (Thursday Dec 11th)
Mentor-Mentee Interaction
Welcome/Agenda: (15 minutes)
Mentor Commitment & Benefits:
(30 minutes)
Barrier Removal Introduction (60
minutes) (needs to be cut shorter)
Travel Arrivals
Goodie
bag
Communications Strategy (Pre, During, and Post)
Setup RP profile, Visit Mentors group page & own campaign page
Participant read through what to expect/bring
Sunday Dec
7th
Orientation Handouts
(for mentors/mentees)
Closing: (5 minutes)
Introduction of Mentors/Mentees: (30
minutes?)
What is a Mentor?: (30 minutes)
(Conducted by Alumni Mentors)
What will our Pride Alumni Mentor
program look like?: (60 minutes)
Travel Departures
The Mentor Relationship Cycle: (30
minutes) (depending on time
availability)
Mentor-hosted Open Time: (60
minutes) (depending on time
availability)
RarePlanet Introduction (45
minutes)
Closing: (5 minutes)
(7:00-8:00)
DINNER
Ice-breaker (Scavenger Hunt)
with mentees (30 minutes)
FREE TIME (sign up
for alumni interview)
FREE TIME (sign up for alumni
interview)
HOLIDAY PARTY &
CELEBRATION
(7:00-8:00) DINNER
(7:00-8:00) DINNER
(7:00-8:00) DINNER
(7:00-8:00) DINNER
Mentor Orientation Guide
Mentor Orientation Guide
Laptop
Mentor Orientation Guide
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
TO BRING:
Page 3
You are the first Pride Alumni Mentors!
Dear Luis, Maria Ignaica, Mauricio, Rafael, and Zayareth,
Welcome to the pilot launch of the Pride Alumni Mentors Program.
Rare’s conservation success is achieved through the strength of our Pride community, and the
individuals that make up that community. As one of our most successful and trusted alumni
campaign managers, you are now amongst the first group of alumni to act as mentors as we
launch the new Pride training program.
This Orientation Guide is meant to serve as a guide and reference for you throughout the
training this week, and also throughout your participation as a mentor over the next two years.
Thank you for your participation!
-
The Rare Latin America & Rare Alumni Network teams
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
Page 4
Day 1: Mentor Orientation & Pride Skills Upgrade
Orientation Guidelines
 Be Here Now
 Speak from the Heart
 Listen from the Heart
 Respect Differences
 Have Fun!
Orientation Objectives
 To develop together the role and commitment of the Pride Alumni Mentor.
 To become more skilled at developing positive mentoring relationships.
 To gain upgraded skills in Pride campaign methodology.
 To understand and demonstrate practices of effective mentors.
 To interact, mentor and learn from new campaign managers, Rare staff and each other.
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
Page 5
Day 2: Mentors Join Pride “Negotiation” Training
(see agenda from Pride training curriculum)
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
Page 6
Day 3: Mentor Training Workshop
Mentor Roles
There are ten different roles a mentor can assume. Which role a mentor assumes depends on the needs
of the mentee. On any given day, the mentor may perform one of the roles or all of the roles. Over time,
and with experience, mentors can learn to assume different roles more easily. Each of the ten roles are
described below.
Teacher: As a teacher, a mentor needs to teach the mentee the skills and knowledge required to perform
his/her position successfully. This role requires the mentor to outline the "nuts and bolts" of the position
and to share experiences as a seasoned professional. It is important that the mentor also share the
wisdom of past mistakes. A mentee cannot only learn from past errors, but also must realize that no one
is perfect.
Guide: As a guide, the mentor helps navigate through the inner workings of the organization and
decipher the "unwritten office rules" for the mentee. This information is usually the "kernels of knowledge"
that one only acquires over a period of time. The inner workings of the organization are simply the
"behind the scenes" dynamics, or office politics, that are not always apparent, but are crucial to know. The
"unwritten rules" can include the special procedures an office follows, the guidelines that are not always
documented, and policies under consideration. It is also important for the mentor to explain who does
what, the critical responsibilities each performs, and the office personalities involved.
Counselor: The role of counselor requires the mentor to establish a lasting and open relationship. In
order to create a trusting relationship, the mentor needs to stress confidentiality and show respect for the
mentee. A mentor can promote confidentiality by not disclosing personal information that the mentee
shares. The mentor should always show respect by listening carefully and attentively to the mentee and
by not interrupting the mentee while s/he speaks.
The counselor role also encourages the mentee to develop problem-solving skills. A mentee must be able
to think through problems rather than always depending on the mentor to provide the solution. The
mentor can develop the problem-solving skills of a mentee by advising the mentee to first attempt to solve
the problem before seeking assistance.
Motivator: As a motivator, a mentor may at times need to generate motivation with the mentee.
Motivation is an inner drive that compels a person to succeed. It's not often that mentees are not
motivated. In general, mentees are enthusiastic about their job. After all, mentees tend to be
characterized as highly-motivated individuals with a thirst for success.
Mentors usually perform the role of motivator only when there is a need to motivate a mentee to complete
a difficult assignment, or to pursue an ambitious goal. Through encouragement, support, and incentives,
mentors can motivate mentees to succeed.
One of the most effective ways to encourage a mentee is to provide frequent, positive feedback during
assigned tasks or while the mentee strives toward goals. Positive feedback is a great "morale booster." It
removes doubt and builds self-esteem that results in a sense of accomplishment.
Sponsor: A sponsor creates opportunities for the mentee—opportunities that may not otherwise be made
available. These opportunities can relate directly to the job or indirectly to the mentee's overall
professional development. The goal of the mentor is to provide as much exposure for the mentee as
possible, with a minimum of risk. Opportunities should challenge and instruct without slicing away the
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
Page 7
mentee's self-esteem. A mentee should not be set up for failure. New opportunities can increase the
visibility of the mentee, but mentors must be careful in selecting these opportunities.
Coach: Coaching is a complex and extensive process and is not always an easy skill to perform.
Specifically, coaching involves feedback. A mentor needs to give different kinds of feedback as the
situation demands: positive feedback to reinforce behavior and constructive feedback to change behavior.
Both types of feedback are critical to the professional growth of the mentee. Feedback should be
frequent, specific, and based on direct observation of the mentee (not secondhand information). When
giving constructive feedback, the mentor should be descriptive about the behavior and not use labels,
such as "immature" or "unprofessional." The mentor should neither exaggerate, nor be judgmental, and
should phrase the issue as a statement, not a question.
Advisor: This role requires the mentor to help the mentee develop professional interests and set realistic
career goals. As the old saying goes, "lf you don't know where you are going, you don't how to get there."
This saying holds true for a mentee's professional development. The mentor needs to think about where
the mentee wants to go professionally and help set career goals. Career goals should be specific, timeframed, results-oriented, relevant, reachable, and flexible to accommodate the changing dynamics of the
organization.
Role Model: As a role model, the mentor is a living example of the values, ethics, and professional
practices of the agency. Most mentees, in time, imitate their mentors. As the proverb states, "Imitation is
the sincerest form of flattery." Teaching by example may be a mentor's most effective developmental tool.
The mentee will learn as he or she observes how the mentor handles situations or interacts with others.
The mentor needs to be careful how they come across to the mentee. The mentor needs to strive for high
standards of professionalism, solid work ethics, and a positive attitude.
Referral Agent: As a referral agent, the mentor works with the mentee to develop an action plan that
outlines what knowledge, skills, and abilities are needed to reach career goals. Once the action plan is in
place, the mentor can then use the action plan as an "enabler" to move the mentee toward career goals
that have been set.
Door Opener: The role of door opener is to open up doors of opportunity. This role primarily involves
helping the mentee establish a network of contacts within the agency, as well as outside the agency. The
mentee needs a chance to meet other people to spur professional development. As a door opener, the
mentor can introduce the mentee to the mentor's contacts to help build the mentee's network structure.
As a door opener, the mentor also opens doors of information for the mentee by directing him/her to
resources that may be helpful.
Source: http://internships.info.nih.gov/mentor.html NIH Management Intern Program
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
Page 8
Pride Alumni Mentors Program Objectives

To improve Campaign Managers’ skills necessary to conduct successful Pride campaigns through
exposure to direct lessons learned and shared knowledge from their Alumni mentors.

To engage Alumni in the improvement of Pride campaigns to reach conservation success and to
provide an opportunity for “upgraded” training and exposure in the revised Pride methodology by
mentor participation in the program.

To foster engagement between core members of Rare’s Pride Alumni social network.
Pride Alumni Mentors Roles

Alumni mentors are peer-to-peer resources for Campaign Managers who:
 Exchange first-hand experiences on Pride campaign implementation (such as concept
modeling, stakeholder meetings, etc.)
 Share advice on lessons learned from their own campaign experience
 Provide moral support and friendship throughout the campaign (acting as a trusted guide,
friend and peer through active listening and sharing of personal experiences).

Alumni mentors will NOT conduct any of the following tasks, which are the responsibility of the Pride
Program Manager ONLY:
o approve or grade any assignment through the university training program
o conduct any final approvals on use of core funds
o conduct final approval of material production (i.e. poster design) or activity implementation (i.e.
design of a teacher training workshop)
o serve as liaison between Campaign Manager and their supervisor at the Lead Agency
o provide full-scale technical support and implementation of threat reduction tactics or strategies
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
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WHAT MAKES A GOOD MENTOR?
Many people feel that being a mentor requires special skills, but mentors are simply people who have the
qualities of good role models.
Mentors listen.
They maintain eye contact and give mentees their full
attention.
Mentors guide.
Mentors are there to help their mentees find life
direction, never to push them.
Mentors are practical.
They give insights about keeping on task and setting
goals and priorities.
Mentors educate.
Mentors educate about life and their own careers.
Mentors provide insight.
Mentors use their personal experience to help their
mentees avoid mistakes and learn from good decisions.
Mentors are accessible.
Mentors are available as a resource and a sounding
board.
Mentors criticize constructively.
When necessary, mentors point out areas that need
improvement, always focusing on the mentee’s behavior,
never his/her character.
Mentors are supportive.
No matter how painful the mentee’s experience, mentors
continue to encourage them to learn and improve.
Mentors are specific.
Mentors give specific advice on what was done well or
could be corrected, what was achieved and the benefits
of various actions.
Mentors care.
Mentors care about their mentees’ progress in school
and career planning, as well as their personal
development.
Mentors succeed.
Mentors not only are successful themselves, but they
also foster success in others.
Mentors are admirable.
Mentors are usually well respected in their organizations
and in the community.
Source: Courtesy of The Connecticut Mentoring Partnership and the Business and Legal Reports, Inc. —
Best Practices in HR, Issue 653, September 30, 1999.
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Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
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QUALITIES OF SUCCESSFUL MENTORS

Personal commitment to be involved with another person for an extended
time — generally, one year at minimum. Mentors have a genuine desire to be part of
other people’s lives, to help them with tough decisions and to see them become the best
they can be. They have to be invested in the mentoring relationship over the long haul to
be there long enough to make a difference.

Respect for individuals and for their abilities and their right to make their
own choices in life. Mentors should not approach the mentee with the attitude that their
own ways are better or that participants need to be rescued. Mentors who convey a
sense of respect and equal dignity in the relationship win the trust of their mentees and
the privilege of being advisors to them.

Ability to listen and to accept different points of view. Most people can find
someone who will give advice or express opinions. It’s much harder to find someone
who will suspend his or her own judgment and really listen. Mentors often help simply by
listening, asking thoughtful questions and giving mentees an opportunity to explore their
own thoughts with a minimum of interference. When people feel accepted, they are more
likely to ask for and respond to good ideas.

Ability to empathize with another person’s struggles. Effective mentors can feel with
people without feeling pity for them. Even without having had the same life experiences,
they can empathize with their mentee’s feelings and personal problems.

Ability to see solutions and opportunities as well as barriers. Effective mentors
balance a realistic respect for the real and serious problems faced by their mentees with
optimism about finding equally realistic solutions. They are able to make sense of a
seeming jumble of issues and point out sensible alternatives.

Flexibility and openness. Effective mentors recognize that relationships take time to
develop and that communication is a two-way street. They are willing to take time to get
to know their mentees, to learn new things that are important to their mentees (music,
styles, philosophies, etc.), and even to be changed by their relationship.
Source: Courtesy of MENTOR/National Mentoring Partnership.
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
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Pride Alumni Mentor Terms of Reference
Updated November 5, 2008
Pride Mentor Role:
 To serve as a peer mentor for a group of campaign manager mentees to:
 Exchange first-hand experiences on Pride campaign implementation (such as concept
modeling, stakeholder meetings, etc.)
 Share advice on lessons learned from their past campaign
 Provide moral support and friendship throughout the campaign (acts a trusted guide, friend
and peer through active listening and sharing of personal experiences)
 Keep records and meeting logs and evaluations as required by Rare program coordinator
Time Commitment:
 Act as a group mentor to campaign manager mentees for the entire 2-year cohort period
(December 2008 – July 2010)
 Attend an in-person training session full time during cohort launch (the entire week of
December 8, 2008)
 Spend 1 hour per month of long-distance support per campaign manager mentee (long
distance as agreed upon with mentee through phone, email, skype, or RarePlanet)
 Participate in the mentor group on Rare’s online platform “RarePlanet.org”
 Attend a final in-person training session full time at cohort graduation period (1 week to be
determined in July 2010)
Compensation:
 Alumni mentors will not be monetarily reimbursed for their time as mentors.
 Rare will provide reimbursement for all travel and room & board expenses for the in-person
training sessions required by all Alumni mentors to attend.
 Rare will also reimburse Alumni mentors for phone or internet charges specifically related to
direct communications with Campaign Manager mentees.
Qualifications:
 Commitment to be involved with a group of current campaign manager for two years throughout
the life of the Pride campaign.
 Respect and successful completion of the original Pride campaign, from implementation of the
campaign to relationship with Rare and university partners.
 Commitment to improving Pride campaigns as a tool for conservation.
 Sincere desire to be personally involved with another person to help him or her achieve personal
and career goals.
 Ability to listen and to accept different points of view.
 Ability to provide leadership
 Flexibility, patience and openness.
 Encouraging and supportive
 Good sense of humor
 Tolerant and respectful of individual differences, non-judgmental
 Discrete (will keep personal information confidential) and can provide a sense of trust
 Practical problem-solving skills and ability to suggest options and alternatives;
 Sensitivity to persons of different educational, economic, cultural or racial backgrounds.
 Willing to adhere to all program policies and procedures
 Dependable, reliable and consistent in meeting the time commitments
 Willing to communicate regularly with program staff, and take constructive feedback regarding
mentoring activities
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
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HELPFUL COMMUNICATION SKILLS
The following four communication skills are very helpful for mentors to develop and practice. These skills
are particularly useful when your goal is to open up communication with a young person. They are also
useful skills that you can help your mentee develop:
Active Listening
Active listening is an attempt to truly understand the content and emotion of what the other person is
saying by paying attention to verbal and non-verbal messages. The task is to focus, hear, respect and
communicate your desire to understand. This is not the time to be planning a response or conveying how
you feel.
Active listening is not nagging, cajoling, reminding, threatening, criticizing, questioning, advising,
evaluating, probing, judging or ridiculing.
Skills to Use:
 Eye contact;
 Body language: open and relaxed posture, forward lean, appropriate facial expressions, positive
use of gestures; and
 Verbal cues such as “um-hmmm,” “sure,” “ah” and “yes.”
Results of Active Listening:
 Encourages honesty — helps people free themselves of troublesome feelings by expressing
them openly;
 Reduces fear — helps people become less afraid of negative feelings;
 Builds respect and affection;
 Increases acceptance — promotes a feeling of understanding; and
When you actively listen, you cooperate in solving the problem — and in preventing future problems.
“I” Messages
These messages give the opportunity to keep the focus on you and explain your feelings in response to
someone else’s behavior. Because “I” messages don’t accuse, point fingers at the other person or place
blame, they avoid judgments and help keep communication open. At the same time, “I” messages
continue to advance the situation to a problem-solving stage.
For example: “I was really sad when you didn’t show up for our meeting last week. I look forward to our
meetings and was disappointed not to see you. In the future, I would appreciate it if you could call me and
let me know if you will not be able to make it.”
Avoid: “You didn’t show up, and I waited for an hour. You could have at least called me and let me know
that you wouldn’t be there. You are irresponsible.”
Source: Courtesy of Mass Mentoring Partnership, Mentoring 101 Training Curriculum.
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Take care that the following actions and behaviors are congruent with an honest, open heart:
 Body language: slouching, turning away, pointing a finger;
 Timing: speaking too fast or too slow;
 Facial expression: smiling, squirming, raising eyebrows, gritting teeth;
 Tone of voice: shouting, whispering, sneering, whining; and
 Choice of words: biting, accusative, pretentious, emotionally laden.
Results:
“I” messages present only one perspective. Allowing the other person to actually have a point of view and
hearing it doesn’t mean that he or she is right. “I” messages communicate both information and respect
for each position. Again, this skill moves both parties along to the problem-solving stage.
Paraphrasing
Paraphrasing focuses on listening first and then reflecting the two parts of the speaker’s message — fact
and feeling — back to the speaker. Often, the fact is clearly stated, but a good listener is “listening
between the lines” for the “feeling” part of the communication. Using this skill is a way to check out what
you heard for accuracy — did you interpret what your mentee said correctly? This is particularly helpful
with youth, as youth culture/language change constantly. Often words that meant one thing when mentors
were young could have an entirely different meaning for youth today.
Examples for fact:
 “So you’re saying that . . .”
 “You believe that . . .”
 “The problem is . . .”
Examples for feeling:
 “You feel that . . .”
 “Your reaction is . . .”
 “And that made you feel . . .”
Paraphrases are not an opportunity to respond by evaluating, sympathizing, giving an opinion, offering
advice, analyzing or questioning.
Results:
Using active listening skills will enable you to gather the information and then be able to simply report
back what you heard in the message — the facts and the attitudes/feelings that were expressed. Doing
so lets the other person know that you hear, understand and care about his or her thoughts and feelings.
Source: Courtesy of Mass Mentoring Partnership, Mentoring 101 Training Curriculum.
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Open-Ended Questions
Open-ended questions are intended to collect information by exploring feelings, attitudes and how the
other person views a situation. Open-ended questions are extremely helpful when dealing with young
people. Youth, teenagers especially, tend to answer questions with as few words as possible. To maintain
an active dialogue without interrogating, try to ask a few questions that cannot be answered with a “yes,”
“no,” “I don’t know,” or a grunt.
Examples:
 “How do you see this situation?”
 “What are your reasons for . . . ?”
 “Can you give me an example?”
 “How does this affect you?”
 “How did you decide that?”
 “What would you like to do about it?”
 “What part did you play?”
Note: Using the question “Why did you do that?” may sometimes yield a defensive response rather than a
clarifying response.
Results:
Because open-ended questions require a bit more time to answer than close-ended questions (questions
that can be answered by “yes,” “no,” or a brief phrase), they give the person a chance to explain. Openended questions yield significant information that can in turn be used to problem solve.
Source: Courtesy of Mass Mentoring Partnership, Mentoring 101 Training Curriculum
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Active Listening Skills
 Clear your mind of distractions.
 Reschedule with your mentee if you are overwhelmed or distracted by personal issues.
 Read between the lines for your mentee’s feelings.
 Ask questions when you don’t understand.
 Put yourself in your mentee’s “shoes,” and try to understand the world from her/his perspective.
 Put aside preconceived ideas, and refrain from passing judgment.
 Acknowledge that you are listening by occasionally nodding your head and saying things like, “I
see” or “OK” when on the phone.
 Give your mentee the same respect that you desire for yourself when you are talking to someone.
(Source: adapted from Training New Mentors, Activity 2 “I Hear You”)
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Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
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Day 4: Mentor-Mentee Interaction
The Mentoring Relationship Cycle
Mentors have an easier time getting through trouble spots in their mentoring relationships if they
understand the basics of the typical match “life cycle.” All matches go through a similar set of
ups and downs and you will have an easier time working with your mentee and getting
appropriate support from staff if you know what to expect.
The four main stages of mentoring relationships are:
1. The beginning
2. Challenging and testing
3. “Real” mentoring
4. Transition (toward closure)
The first two stages are critical as they lay the foundation for what the relationship will eventually
become. If mentors are to be successful, they need to work through the difficulties presented
early on so that the match gets to a place of trust and mutuality where “real” mentoring can take
place. The chart on the next page offers examples of what these stages feel like for mentors
and tips for communicating effectively throughout each stage’s ups and downs.
Source: Building Relationships: A Guide for New Mentors. “Handout”, pages 32-34.
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Stages of a Mentoring Relationship
Stage
Beginning of the Match
The beginning of any relationship is often
awkward, and mentoring relationships are no
exception. Your first few months will focus on
getting to know each other, exploring similar
interests, discussing expectations, and starting to
form norms and bonds that will shape the rest of
your first year together. During this phase
mentors should work with their mentees to set
parameters for the match, such as when to meet
and for how long, what kinds of activities will take
place, and how to contact each other.
Challenging and Testing
Once the mentoring relationship is off the ground,
it is normal for your mentee to start testing
boundaries of the relationship. Though you’ve
spent time affirming that you appreciate and
enjoy your mentee, he may still want to see how
far your commitment really goes. For example, in
adult-youth relationships, mentees often come
from situations in which adults can’t always be
relied on, so trusting another adult is difficult for
them, and they may even try to sabotage the
relationship by “acting out.”
“Real” Mentoring
In this stage, the mentoring relationship has
reached full maturity. Trust and closeness have
been established and the match is comfortable
having fun and relating to one another. It is
during this phase that mentors can use the trust
they have built to move their mentees along the
developmental pathway— asking them to think
about goals or try new things. There may still be
testing or behavioral issues, but they do not
jeopardize the relationship itself. Mentors that
reach this stage must be prepared to maintain
this hard-won status—this is where the real
impact of mentoring happens.
Transition (toward closure)
The transition toward closure can be a difficult
time for both mentors and mentees. There may
be many strong feelings about the match ending
and it is important to not let the process of ending
the match negate the many positives it provided
to everyone involved. As the end of your match
approaches, work closely with your match
supervisor to end on a high note and make sure
that the transition leaves the mentee feeling
positive and fulfilled about the experience.
Characteristics
Effective Communication






Getting to know
each other
The first
impressions
Trying to see the
positive in
relationship
Bonding










Mentee
challenges
Testing phase
Rethinking first
impressions
Difficult feelings
or emotions may
surface














Preparing for
closure
Relationship
may become
deeper or
mentee may
start
pulling away
Reflection

Preparing for
closure
Relationship
may become
deeper or
mentee may
start
pulling away
Reflection





Ask open-ended questions
Use body language that is open and not
guarded
Active listening
Demonstrate empathy
Avoid “prescriptive” communication
Use prompts
Speak with language that you feel
comfortable with
Don’t be afraid of silence
Be consistent in your communication, even
if it is difficult
Demonstrate respect
Build in problem-solving techniques in your
open ended questions
Raise sensitive issues at the beginning of
your interactions
Make sure to separate behaviors from who
the mentee is
Disclosure of personal feelings and
experiences when appropriate
Find common language to sum up your
feelings
Provide feedback that describes growth that
you observed
Be prepared to listen and affirm fears that
your mentee may have
Find common language to sum up your
feelings
Provide feedback that describes growth that
you observed
Be prepared to listen and affirm fears that
your mentee may have
Source: Building Relationships: A Guide for New Mentors. “Handout”, pages 32-34.
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
Page 18
List of References
Many of the mentor activity instructions and ideas were adapted or pulled directly from these great resources for
mentoring available online:
 Cannata, Amy, Michael Garringer, Christian Rummell, Elsy Arevalo, and Linda Jucovy. Training New Mentors.
Effective Strategies for Providing Quality Youth Mentoring in Schools and Communities. Washington, D.C. and
Portland, OR: The Hamilton Fish Institute on School and Community Violence & The National Mentoring Center at
Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory. Revised September 2007.
Available online here: http://www.nwrel.org/mentoring
 Garringer, Michael & Linda Jucovy. Building Relationships: A Guide for New Mentors. Effective Strategies for
Providing Quality Youth Mentoring in Schools and Communities. Washington, D.C. and Portland, OR: The Hamilton
Fish Institute on School and Community Violence & The National Mentoring Center at Northwest Regional
Educational Laboratory. Revised September 2007.
Available online here: http://www.nwrel.org/mentoring
 MENTOR/National Mentoring Partnership. How to Build a Successful Mentoring Program Using the Elements of
Effective Practice™. USA, 2005.
Available online in English and in Spanish here:
http://www.mentoring.org/find_resources/elements_of_effective_practice/
With associated tools in English and in Spanish available here:
http://www.mentoring.org/find_resources/elements_of_effective_practice/tool_kit/downloadable_tools/
 Pardini, Eileen, Designer & Trainer. Be A Mentor Program. Training Guide for Volunteer Mentors. Fremont, CA: Be a
Mentor, Inc..
Available online here: www.beamentor.org
 Pardini, Eileen, Designer & Trainer. Be A Mentor Program. Training Mentors: Instructions for Trainers. Fremont, CA:
Be a Mentor, Inc.
Available online here: www.beamentor.org
Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation
Training Guide for Alumni Mentors
Page 19
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