Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation TRAINING GUIDE FOR ALUMNI MENTORS DRAFT FOR REVIEW LATIN AMERICA Cohort 7 th December 8 – December 12th, 2008 Guadalajara, Mexico Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation TRAINING GUIDE FOR ALUMNI MENTORS Table of Contents Agenda for the Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation ......................................................................................................................... 3 You are the first Pride Alumni Mentors! ......................................................................................................................................... 4 Day 1: Mentor Orientation & Pride Skills Upgrade ........................................................................................................................ 5 Orientation Guidelines ................................................................................................................................................................... 5 Orientation Objectives ................................................................................................................................................................... 5 Day 2: Mentors Join Pride “Negotiation” Training ......................................................................................................................... 6 Day 3: Mentor Training Workshop ................................................................................................................................................. 7 Mentor Roles ................................................................................................................................................................................. 7 Pride Alumni Mentors Program Objectives.................................................................................................................................... 9 Pride Alumni Mentors Roles .......................................................................................................................................................... 9 WHAT MAKES A GOOD MENTOR? .......................................................................................................................................... 10 QUALITIES OF SUCCESSFUL MENTORS................................................................................................................................ 11 Pride Alumni Mentor Terms of Reference ................................................................................................................................... 12 HELPFUL COMMUNICATION SKILLS ....................................................................................................................................... 13 Active Listening Skills .................................................................................................................................................................. 16 Day 4: Mentor-Mentee Interaction ............................................................................................................................................... 17 The Mentoring Relationship Cycle ............................................................................................................................................... 17 Stages of a Mentoring Relationship ............................................................................................................................................. 18 List of References ........................................................................................................................................................................ 19 Agenda for the Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation (Updated November 20, 2008) Environment: Agenda flipchart Pre-work Free time board Alumni video interview signup sheet Day 1 (Monday Dec 8th) Mentor Orientation & Pride Skills Upgrade (8:00-9:00) BREAKFAST Journey Map Exercise (60 minutes) What’s New with Rare (30 minutes) Post stories & notes from mentor orientation on Mentors group page Follow up on RP mentors groups Day 2 (Tuesday Dec 9th) Day 3 (Wednesday Dec 10th) Mentors Join Pride Mentor Training Workshop “Negotiation” Training (8:00-9:00) (8:00-9:00) BREAKFAST BREAKFAST Welcome (30 minutes) Energizer: (15 minutes) Attend Negotiation Session with Campaign Managers (see curriculum agenda) Theory of Change Introduction (60 – 120 minutes) (needs to be cut shorter) (8:00-9:00) BREAKFAST Energizer: (15 minutes) (Conducted by Alumni Mentor) Evaluation? What is a Mentor?: (60 minutes) Preparation for Meeting with Campaign Manager Mentees: (30 minutes) Global Alumni Network (30 minutes) Friday Dec 12th Welcome/Agenda: (15 minutes) Listening With Both Ears: Good Communication Skills: (60 minutes) Miradi Introduction (60 – 90 minutes) (needs to be cut shorter) Day 4 (Thursday Dec 11th) Mentor-Mentee Interaction Welcome/Agenda: (15 minutes) Mentor Commitment & Benefits: (30 minutes) Barrier Removal Introduction (60 minutes) (needs to be cut shorter) Travel Arrivals Goodie bag Communications Strategy (Pre, During, and Post) Setup RP profile, Visit Mentors group page & own campaign page Participant read through what to expect/bring Sunday Dec 7th Orientation Handouts (for mentors/mentees) Closing: (5 minutes) Introduction of Mentors/Mentees: (30 minutes?) What is a Mentor?: (30 minutes) (Conducted by Alumni Mentors) What will our Pride Alumni Mentor program look like?: (60 minutes) Travel Departures The Mentor Relationship Cycle: (30 minutes) (depending on time availability) Mentor-hosted Open Time: (60 minutes) (depending on time availability) RarePlanet Introduction (45 minutes) Closing: (5 minutes) (7:00-8:00) DINNER Ice-breaker (Scavenger Hunt) with mentees (30 minutes) FREE TIME (sign up for alumni interview) FREE TIME (sign up for alumni interview) HOLIDAY PARTY & CELEBRATION (7:00-8:00) DINNER (7:00-8:00) DINNER (7:00-8:00) DINNER (7:00-8:00) DINNER Mentor Orientation Guide Mentor Orientation Guide Laptop Mentor Orientation Guide Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors TO BRING: Page 3 You are the first Pride Alumni Mentors! Dear Luis, Maria Ignaica, Mauricio, Rafael, and Zayareth, Welcome to the pilot launch of the Pride Alumni Mentors Program. Rare’s conservation success is achieved through the strength of our Pride community, and the individuals that make up that community. As one of our most successful and trusted alumni campaign managers, you are now amongst the first group of alumni to act as mentors as we launch the new Pride training program. This Orientation Guide is meant to serve as a guide and reference for you throughout the training this week, and also throughout your participation as a mentor over the next two years. Thank you for your participation! - The Rare Latin America & Rare Alumni Network teams Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 4 Day 1: Mentor Orientation & Pride Skills Upgrade Orientation Guidelines Be Here Now Speak from the Heart Listen from the Heart Respect Differences Have Fun! Orientation Objectives To develop together the role and commitment of the Pride Alumni Mentor. To become more skilled at developing positive mentoring relationships. To gain upgraded skills in Pride campaign methodology. To understand and demonstrate practices of effective mentors. To interact, mentor and learn from new campaign managers, Rare staff and each other. Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 5 Day 2: Mentors Join Pride “Negotiation” Training (see agenda from Pride training curriculum) Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 6 Day 3: Mentor Training Workshop Mentor Roles There are ten different roles a mentor can assume. Which role a mentor assumes depends on the needs of the mentee. On any given day, the mentor may perform one of the roles or all of the roles. Over time, and with experience, mentors can learn to assume different roles more easily. Each of the ten roles are described below. Teacher: As a teacher, a mentor needs to teach the mentee the skills and knowledge required to perform his/her position successfully. This role requires the mentor to outline the "nuts and bolts" of the position and to share experiences as a seasoned professional. It is important that the mentor also share the wisdom of past mistakes. A mentee cannot only learn from past errors, but also must realize that no one is perfect. Guide: As a guide, the mentor helps navigate through the inner workings of the organization and decipher the "unwritten office rules" for the mentee. This information is usually the "kernels of knowledge" that one only acquires over a period of time. The inner workings of the organization are simply the "behind the scenes" dynamics, or office politics, that are not always apparent, but are crucial to know. The "unwritten rules" can include the special procedures an office follows, the guidelines that are not always documented, and policies under consideration. It is also important for the mentor to explain who does what, the critical responsibilities each performs, and the office personalities involved. Counselor: The role of counselor requires the mentor to establish a lasting and open relationship. In order to create a trusting relationship, the mentor needs to stress confidentiality and show respect for the mentee. A mentor can promote confidentiality by not disclosing personal information that the mentee shares. The mentor should always show respect by listening carefully and attentively to the mentee and by not interrupting the mentee while s/he speaks. The counselor role also encourages the mentee to develop problem-solving skills. A mentee must be able to think through problems rather than always depending on the mentor to provide the solution. The mentor can develop the problem-solving skills of a mentee by advising the mentee to first attempt to solve the problem before seeking assistance. Motivator: As a motivator, a mentor may at times need to generate motivation with the mentee. Motivation is an inner drive that compels a person to succeed. It's not often that mentees are not motivated. In general, mentees are enthusiastic about their job. After all, mentees tend to be characterized as highly-motivated individuals with a thirst for success. Mentors usually perform the role of motivator only when there is a need to motivate a mentee to complete a difficult assignment, or to pursue an ambitious goal. Through encouragement, support, and incentives, mentors can motivate mentees to succeed. One of the most effective ways to encourage a mentee is to provide frequent, positive feedback during assigned tasks or while the mentee strives toward goals. Positive feedback is a great "morale booster." It removes doubt and builds self-esteem that results in a sense of accomplishment. Sponsor: A sponsor creates opportunities for the mentee—opportunities that may not otherwise be made available. These opportunities can relate directly to the job or indirectly to the mentee's overall professional development. The goal of the mentor is to provide as much exposure for the mentee as possible, with a minimum of risk. Opportunities should challenge and instruct without slicing away the Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 7 mentee's self-esteem. A mentee should not be set up for failure. New opportunities can increase the visibility of the mentee, but mentors must be careful in selecting these opportunities. Coach: Coaching is a complex and extensive process and is not always an easy skill to perform. Specifically, coaching involves feedback. A mentor needs to give different kinds of feedback as the situation demands: positive feedback to reinforce behavior and constructive feedback to change behavior. Both types of feedback are critical to the professional growth of the mentee. Feedback should be frequent, specific, and based on direct observation of the mentee (not secondhand information). When giving constructive feedback, the mentor should be descriptive about the behavior and not use labels, such as "immature" or "unprofessional." The mentor should neither exaggerate, nor be judgmental, and should phrase the issue as a statement, not a question. Advisor: This role requires the mentor to help the mentee develop professional interests and set realistic career goals. As the old saying goes, "lf you don't know where you are going, you don't how to get there." This saying holds true for a mentee's professional development. The mentor needs to think about where the mentee wants to go professionally and help set career goals. Career goals should be specific, timeframed, results-oriented, relevant, reachable, and flexible to accommodate the changing dynamics of the organization. Role Model: As a role model, the mentor is a living example of the values, ethics, and professional practices of the agency. Most mentees, in time, imitate their mentors. As the proverb states, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." Teaching by example may be a mentor's most effective developmental tool. The mentee will learn as he or she observes how the mentor handles situations or interacts with others. The mentor needs to be careful how they come across to the mentee. The mentor needs to strive for high standards of professionalism, solid work ethics, and a positive attitude. Referral Agent: As a referral agent, the mentor works with the mentee to develop an action plan that outlines what knowledge, skills, and abilities are needed to reach career goals. Once the action plan is in place, the mentor can then use the action plan as an "enabler" to move the mentee toward career goals that have been set. Door Opener: The role of door opener is to open up doors of opportunity. This role primarily involves helping the mentee establish a network of contacts within the agency, as well as outside the agency. The mentee needs a chance to meet other people to spur professional development. As a door opener, the mentor can introduce the mentee to the mentor's contacts to help build the mentee's network structure. As a door opener, the mentor also opens doors of information for the mentee by directing him/her to resources that may be helpful. Source: http://internships.info.nih.gov/mentor.html NIH Management Intern Program Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 8 Pride Alumni Mentors Program Objectives To improve Campaign Managers’ skills necessary to conduct successful Pride campaigns through exposure to direct lessons learned and shared knowledge from their Alumni mentors. To engage Alumni in the improvement of Pride campaigns to reach conservation success and to provide an opportunity for “upgraded” training and exposure in the revised Pride methodology by mentor participation in the program. To foster engagement between core members of Rare’s Pride Alumni social network. Pride Alumni Mentors Roles Alumni mentors are peer-to-peer resources for Campaign Managers who: Exchange first-hand experiences on Pride campaign implementation (such as concept modeling, stakeholder meetings, etc.) Share advice on lessons learned from their own campaign experience Provide moral support and friendship throughout the campaign (acting as a trusted guide, friend and peer through active listening and sharing of personal experiences). Alumni mentors will NOT conduct any of the following tasks, which are the responsibility of the Pride Program Manager ONLY: o approve or grade any assignment through the university training program o conduct any final approvals on use of core funds o conduct final approval of material production (i.e. poster design) or activity implementation (i.e. design of a teacher training workshop) o serve as liaison between Campaign Manager and their supervisor at the Lead Agency o provide full-scale technical support and implementation of threat reduction tactics or strategies Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 9 WHAT MAKES A GOOD MENTOR? Many people feel that being a mentor requires special skills, but mentors are simply people who have the qualities of good role models. Mentors listen. They maintain eye contact and give mentees their full attention. Mentors guide. Mentors are there to help their mentees find life direction, never to push them. Mentors are practical. They give insights about keeping on task and setting goals and priorities. Mentors educate. Mentors educate about life and their own careers. Mentors provide insight. Mentors use their personal experience to help their mentees avoid mistakes and learn from good decisions. Mentors are accessible. Mentors are available as a resource and a sounding board. Mentors criticize constructively. When necessary, mentors point out areas that need improvement, always focusing on the mentee’s behavior, never his/her character. Mentors are supportive. No matter how painful the mentee’s experience, mentors continue to encourage them to learn and improve. Mentors are specific. Mentors give specific advice on what was done well or could be corrected, what was achieved and the benefits of various actions. Mentors care. Mentors care about their mentees’ progress in school and career planning, as well as their personal development. Mentors succeed. Mentors not only are successful themselves, but they also foster success in others. Mentors are admirable. Mentors are usually well respected in their organizations and in the community. Source: Courtesy of The Connecticut Mentoring Partnership and the Business and Legal Reports, Inc. — Best Practices in HR, Issue 653, September 30, 1999. Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 10 QUALITIES OF SUCCESSFUL MENTORS Personal commitment to be involved with another person for an extended time — generally, one year at minimum. Mentors have a genuine desire to be part of other people’s lives, to help them with tough decisions and to see them become the best they can be. They have to be invested in the mentoring relationship over the long haul to be there long enough to make a difference. Respect for individuals and for their abilities and their right to make their own choices in life. Mentors should not approach the mentee with the attitude that their own ways are better or that participants need to be rescued. Mentors who convey a sense of respect and equal dignity in the relationship win the trust of their mentees and the privilege of being advisors to them. Ability to listen and to accept different points of view. Most people can find someone who will give advice or express opinions. It’s much harder to find someone who will suspend his or her own judgment and really listen. Mentors often help simply by listening, asking thoughtful questions and giving mentees an opportunity to explore their own thoughts with a minimum of interference. When people feel accepted, they are more likely to ask for and respond to good ideas. Ability to empathize with another person’s struggles. Effective mentors can feel with people without feeling pity for them. Even without having had the same life experiences, they can empathize with their mentee’s feelings and personal problems. Ability to see solutions and opportunities as well as barriers. Effective mentors balance a realistic respect for the real and serious problems faced by their mentees with optimism about finding equally realistic solutions. They are able to make sense of a seeming jumble of issues and point out sensible alternatives. Flexibility and openness. Effective mentors recognize that relationships take time to develop and that communication is a two-way street. They are willing to take time to get to know their mentees, to learn new things that are important to their mentees (music, styles, philosophies, etc.), and even to be changed by their relationship. Source: Courtesy of MENTOR/National Mentoring Partnership. Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 11 Pride Alumni Mentor Terms of Reference Updated November 5, 2008 Pride Mentor Role: To serve as a peer mentor for a group of campaign manager mentees to: Exchange first-hand experiences on Pride campaign implementation (such as concept modeling, stakeholder meetings, etc.) Share advice on lessons learned from their past campaign Provide moral support and friendship throughout the campaign (acts a trusted guide, friend and peer through active listening and sharing of personal experiences) Keep records and meeting logs and evaluations as required by Rare program coordinator Time Commitment: Act as a group mentor to campaign manager mentees for the entire 2-year cohort period (December 2008 – July 2010) Attend an in-person training session full time during cohort launch (the entire week of December 8, 2008) Spend 1 hour per month of long-distance support per campaign manager mentee (long distance as agreed upon with mentee through phone, email, skype, or RarePlanet) Participate in the mentor group on Rare’s online platform “RarePlanet.org” Attend a final in-person training session full time at cohort graduation period (1 week to be determined in July 2010) Compensation: Alumni mentors will not be monetarily reimbursed for their time as mentors. Rare will provide reimbursement for all travel and room & board expenses for the in-person training sessions required by all Alumni mentors to attend. Rare will also reimburse Alumni mentors for phone or internet charges specifically related to direct communications with Campaign Manager mentees. Qualifications: Commitment to be involved with a group of current campaign manager for two years throughout the life of the Pride campaign. Respect and successful completion of the original Pride campaign, from implementation of the campaign to relationship with Rare and university partners. Commitment to improving Pride campaigns as a tool for conservation. Sincere desire to be personally involved with another person to help him or her achieve personal and career goals. Ability to listen and to accept different points of view. Ability to provide leadership Flexibility, patience and openness. Encouraging and supportive Good sense of humor Tolerant and respectful of individual differences, non-judgmental Discrete (will keep personal information confidential) and can provide a sense of trust Practical problem-solving skills and ability to suggest options and alternatives; Sensitivity to persons of different educational, economic, cultural or racial backgrounds. Willing to adhere to all program policies and procedures Dependable, reliable and consistent in meeting the time commitments Willing to communicate regularly with program staff, and take constructive feedback regarding mentoring activities Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 12 HELPFUL COMMUNICATION SKILLS The following four communication skills are very helpful for mentors to develop and practice. These skills are particularly useful when your goal is to open up communication with a young person. They are also useful skills that you can help your mentee develop: Active Listening Active listening is an attempt to truly understand the content and emotion of what the other person is saying by paying attention to verbal and non-verbal messages. The task is to focus, hear, respect and communicate your desire to understand. This is not the time to be planning a response or conveying how you feel. Active listening is not nagging, cajoling, reminding, threatening, criticizing, questioning, advising, evaluating, probing, judging or ridiculing. Skills to Use: Eye contact; Body language: open and relaxed posture, forward lean, appropriate facial expressions, positive use of gestures; and Verbal cues such as “um-hmmm,” “sure,” “ah” and “yes.” Results of Active Listening: Encourages honesty — helps people free themselves of troublesome feelings by expressing them openly; Reduces fear — helps people become less afraid of negative feelings; Builds respect and affection; Increases acceptance — promotes a feeling of understanding; and When you actively listen, you cooperate in solving the problem — and in preventing future problems. “I” Messages These messages give the opportunity to keep the focus on you and explain your feelings in response to someone else’s behavior. Because “I” messages don’t accuse, point fingers at the other person or place blame, they avoid judgments and help keep communication open. At the same time, “I” messages continue to advance the situation to a problem-solving stage. For example: “I was really sad when you didn’t show up for our meeting last week. I look forward to our meetings and was disappointed not to see you. In the future, I would appreciate it if you could call me and let me know if you will not be able to make it.” Avoid: “You didn’t show up, and I waited for an hour. You could have at least called me and let me know that you wouldn’t be there. You are irresponsible.” Source: Courtesy of Mass Mentoring Partnership, Mentoring 101 Training Curriculum. Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 13 Take care that the following actions and behaviors are congruent with an honest, open heart: Body language: slouching, turning away, pointing a finger; Timing: speaking too fast or too slow; Facial expression: smiling, squirming, raising eyebrows, gritting teeth; Tone of voice: shouting, whispering, sneering, whining; and Choice of words: biting, accusative, pretentious, emotionally laden. Results: “I” messages present only one perspective. Allowing the other person to actually have a point of view and hearing it doesn’t mean that he or she is right. “I” messages communicate both information and respect for each position. Again, this skill moves both parties along to the problem-solving stage. Paraphrasing Paraphrasing focuses on listening first and then reflecting the two parts of the speaker’s message — fact and feeling — back to the speaker. Often, the fact is clearly stated, but a good listener is “listening between the lines” for the “feeling” part of the communication. Using this skill is a way to check out what you heard for accuracy — did you interpret what your mentee said correctly? This is particularly helpful with youth, as youth culture/language change constantly. Often words that meant one thing when mentors were young could have an entirely different meaning for youth today. Examples for fact: “So you’re saying that . . .” “You believe that . . .” “The problem is . . .” Examples for feeling: “You feel that . . .” “Your reaction is . . .” “And that made you feel . . .” Paraphrases are not an opportunity to respond by evaluating, sympathizing, giving an opinion, offering advice, analyzing or questioning. Results: Using active listening skills will enable you to gather the information and then be able to simply report back what you heard in the message — the facts and the attitudes/feelings that were expressed. Doing so lets the other person know that you hear, understand and care about his or her thoughts and feelings. Source: Courtesy of Mass Mentoring Partnership, Mentoring 101 Training Curriculum. Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 14 Open-Ended Questions Open-ended questions are intended to collect information by exploring feelings, attitudes and how the other person views a situation. Open-ended questions are extremely helpful when dealing with young people. Youth, teenagers especially, tend to answer questions with as few words as possible. To maintain an active dialogue without interrogating, try to ask a few questions that cannot be answered with a “yes,” “no,” “I don’t know,” or a grunt. Examples: “How do you see this situation?” “What are your reasons for . . . ?” “Can you give me an example?” “How does this affect you?” “How did you decide that?” “What would you like to do about it?” “What part did you play?” Note: Using the question “Why did you do that?” may sometimes yield a defensive response rather than a clarifying response. Results: Because open-ended questions require a bit more time to answer than close-ended questions (questions that can be answered by “yes,” “no,” or a brief phrase), they give the person a chance to explain. Openended questions yield significant information that can in turn be used to problem solve. Source: Courtesy of Mass Mentoring Partnership, Mentoring 101 Training Curriculum Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 15 Active Listening Skills Clear your mind of distractions. Reschedule with your mentee if you are overwhelmed or distracted by personal issues. Read between the lines for your mentee’s feelings. Ask questions when you don’t understand. Put yourself in your mentee’s “shoes,” and try to understand the world from her/his perspective. Put aside preconceived ideas, and refrain from passing judgment. Acknowledge that you are listening by occasionally nodding your head and saying things like, “I see” or “OK” when on the phone. Give your mentee the same respect that you desire for yourself when you are talking to someone. (Source: adapted from Training New Mentors, Activity 2 “I Hear You”) Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 16 Day 4: Mentor-Mentee Interaction The Mentoring Relationship Cycle Mentors have an easier time getting through trouble spots in their mentoring relationships if they understand the basics of the typical match “life cycle.” All matches go through a similar set of ups and downs and you will have an easier time working with your mentee and getting appropriate support from staff if you know what to expect. The four main stages of mentoring relationships are: 1. The beginning 2. Challenging and testing 3. “Real” mentoring 4. Transition (toward closure) The first two stages are critical as they lay the foundation for what the relationship will eventually become. If mentors are to be successful, they need to work through the difficulties presented early on so that the match gets to a place of trust and mutuality where “real” mentoring can take place. The chart on the next page offers examples of what these stages feel like for mentors and tips for communicating effectively throughout each stage’s ups and downs. Source: Building Relationships: A Guide for New Mentors. “Handout”, pages 32-34. Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 17 Stages of a Mentoring Relationship Stage Beginning of the Match The beginning of any relationship is often awkward, and mentoring relationships are no exception. Your first few months will focus on getting to know each other, exploring similar interests, discussing expectations, and starting to form norms and bonds that will shape the rest of your first year together. During this phase mentors should work with their mentees to set parameters for the match, such as when to meet and for how long, what kinds of activities will take place, and how to contact each other. Challenging and Testing Once the mentoring relationship is off the ground, it is normal for your mentee to start testing boundaries of the relationship. Though you’ve spent time affirming that you appreciate and enjoy your mentee, he may still want to see how far your commitment really goes. For example, in adult-youth relationships, mentees often come from situations in which adults can’t always be relied on, so trusting another adult is difficult for them, and they may even try to sabotage the relationship by “acting out.” “Real” Mentoring In this stage, the mentoring relationship has reached full maturity. Trust and closeness have been established and the match is comfortable having fun and relating to one another. It is during this phase that mentors can use the trust they have built to move their mentees along the developmental pathway— asking them to think about goals or try new things. There may still be testing or behavioral issues, but they do not jeopardize the relationship itself. Mentors that reach this stage must be prepared to maintain this hard-won status—this is where the real impact of mentoring happens. Transition (toward closure) The transition toward closure can be a difficult time for both mentors and mentees. There may be many strong feelings about the match ending and it is important to not let the process of ending the match negate the many positives it provided to everyone involved. As the end of your match approaches, work closely with your match supervisor to end on a high note and make sure that the transition leaves the mentee feeling positive and fulfilled about the experience. Characteristics Effective Communication Getting to know each other The first impressions Trying to see the positive in relationship Bonding Mentee challenges Testing phase Rethinking first impressions Difficult feelings or emotions may surface Preparing for closure Relationship may become deeper or mentee may start pulling away Reflection Preparing for closure Relationship may become deeper or mentee may start pulling away Reflection Ask open-ended questions Use body language that is open and not guarded Active listening Demonstrate empathy Avoid “prescriptive” communication Use prompts Speak with language that you feel comfortable with Don’t be afraid of silence Be consistent in your communication, even if it is difficult Demonstrate respect Build in problem-solving techniques in your open ended questions Raise sensitive issues at the beginning of your interactions Make sure to separate behaviors from who the mentee is Disclosure of personal feelings and experiences when appropriate Find common language to sum up your feelings Provide feedback that describes growth that you observed Be prepared to listen and affirm fears that your mentee may have Find common language to sum up your feelings Provide feedback that describes growth that you observed Be prepared to listen and affirm fears that your mentee may have Source: Building Relationships: A Guide for New Mentors. “Handout”, pages 32-34. Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 18 List of References Many of the mentor activity instructions and ideas were adapted or pulled directly from these great resources for mentoring available online: Cannata, Amy, Michael Garringer, Christian Rummell, Elsy Arevalo, and Linda Jucovy. Training New Mentors. Effective Strategies for Providing Quality Youth Mentoring in Schools and Communities. Washington, D.C. and Portland, OR: The Hamilton Fish Institute on School and Community Violence & The National Mentoring Center at Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory. Revised September 2007. Available online here: http://www.nwrel.org/mentoring Garringer, Michael & Linda Jucovy. Building Relationships: A Guide for New Mentors. Effective Strategies for Providing Quality Youth Mentoring in Schools and Communities. Washington, D.C. and Portland, OR: The Hamilton Fish Institute on School and Community Violence & The National Mentoring Center at Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory. Revised September 2007. Available online here: http://www.nwrel.org/mentoring MENTOR/National Mentoring Partnership. How to Build a Successful Mentoring Program Using the Elements of Effective Practice™. USA, 2005. Available online in English and in Spanish here: http://www.mentoring.org/find_resources/elements_of_effective_practice/ With associated tools in English and in Spanish available here: http://www.mentoring.org/find_resources/elements_of_effective_practice/tool_kit/downloadable_tools/ Pardini, Eileen, Designer & Trainer. Be A Mentor Program. Training Guide for Volunteer Mentors. Fremont, CA: Be a Mentor, Inc.. Available online here: www.beamentor.org Pardini, Eileen, Designer & Trainer. Be A Mentor Program. Training Mentors: Instructions for Trainers. Fremont, CA: Be a Mentor, Inc. Available online here: www.beamentor.org Pride Alumni Mentors Orientation Training Guide for Alumni Mentors Page 19