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Work-Life-Balance is A Gender-Biased Myth
Michelle Cubas, CPCC, ACC
The Myth
This is a gender-biased, fabricated, non-starter as a valid topic. Interestingly, the topic
is never discussed around male issues like fitness, work and family. It implies that
women have another job to do—balance everything around them.
Already sleep deprived, Americans, and particularly women, have to create a new
lifestyle that has no predecessor. The old paradigms that pointed women to being
married, being mothers, started fading away in the late 1960s. Now, the Madison
Avenue sell was women could have it all— pointed women to being married, being
mothers, and maybe squeeze in a career or higher education. There was never
discussion around (except possibly in a therapist’s office or at A.A. meetings) the
unintended consequences of such a lifestyle that ran parallel lines forward but never
touched.
Even commercials with Kelly Rippa reek of the old days of women’s power generating
from magic (like Bewitched) and now Electro Lux appliances—The laundry magically
folds itself and she does it all!
The Downside Consequences
People are already exhausted, and they struggle with guilt, finances, daycare,
relationships, aging parents, and you fill in the blanks for the rest—it takes energy to
compartmentalize a life.
We don’t have separate lives—work, family, and friends—we have one life, that is often
lived for everyone else but the individual who is so busy serving.
12756 W. Maya Way, Peoria, Arizona 85383 • 480-510-7166
mcubas@positivepotentials.com • www.positivepotentials.com
 2010 Positive Potentials LLC, Michelle Cubas • For Permission To Publish, please contact 480-510-7166
. . . . . . . Leading Clients Across the Business Enterprise . . . . . . .
• Business Coaching
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• Business Publishing
Another perspective is to strive for equilibrium in one’s life. We must recognize the
choices we make, not balance, are what create outcomes. Knowing how to prioritize or
taking the time to develop a personal system for doing so, will reduce stress by 50%!
The system creates a place to go to and reminds us what is important rather than
bouncing from the moment dictating every move. Being such a reactive mode is
stressful and fatiguing.
Suggested Antidotes

Strive to live a life in a code of values. This will be a powerful tool to integrate all
the parts hanging out “there.”

Identify the active parts of your life. (Graphical download available upon request.)

Then, prioritize them within the context of six months.

Consider these statements: What must . . . , how can I . . . , what do I want . . .?
These testers will reveal things that were buried and needed the air again!

Be sure they are on your graph. Without them you are just in motion rather than
heading toward and achieving fulfillment.

You can remake your graph again in six months, for example.

Assess what you have accomplished including personal growth, emotional
fulfillment and health not just “doing things.” This assessment is more about
BEING.
From a coaching perspective, such an individual must stop, breathe and regroup.

The person must consult herself or himself as regards to personal values and
what the person holds important. Determine what (health, sanity, well being)
cannot be sacrificed for this illusion of Work-Life-Balance.

Focus on self-care. The depleted individual is unable to serve anyone. We can
only give from abundance, not a deficit.
12756 W. Maya Way, Peoria, Arizona 85383 • 480-510-7166
mcubas@positivepotentials.com • www.positivepotentials.com
 2010 Positive Potentials LLC, Michelle Cubas • For Permission To Publish, please contact 480-510-7166
. . . . . . . Leading Clients Across the Business Enterprise . . . . . . .
• Business Coaching
• Market & Brand Consulting
• Business Publishing

Safety is a priority. An exhausted caregiver can be impaired to a medical issue or
ability to take the patient to care outside the facility. Mistakes can be deadly in
this situation.
Consider this—Many organizations, companies, and some cities have respite programs
for caregivers. A few hours away from a stressful situation can be refreshing. More than
an activity, it is the change of environment that can be rejuvenating. Volunteer
programs may send someone to provide some relief time. If funds are available, there
are agencies for fee that can provide the necessary time off.
An outing
The Unforgiving Workplace
The Family Leave Act was a positive first step to acknowledging the challenges
employees have and must attend to. Time away to have a baby, for men and women, is
positive and exhausting. Returning to work too quickly has side effects physically and
mentally. The emphasis is still on the job trumping the circumstance.
When companies view the value of flex-time and remote working, they have the loyalty
of happy workers. A caring message is embedded in the existence of these programs.
They speak to the employee that they matter, and it underscores they are making a
valuable contribution and the leadership wants them to stay. It is a message of security
that can reduce stress (and fewer worker comp claims!) This is an important reason why
business is personal.
How companies treat their employees will be a direct influence on how the employees
treat the customers. It reflects in hiring practices, too. The company culture is central to
a healthy workforce and profitability.
12756 W. Maya Way, Peoria, Arizona 85383 • 480-510-7166
mcubas@positivepotentials.com • www.positivepotentials.com
 2010 Positive Potentials LLC, Michelle Cubas • For Permission To Publish, please contact 480-510-7166
. . . . . . . Leading Clients Across the Business Enterprise . . . . . . .
• Business Coaching
• Market & Brand Consulting
• Business Publishing
The first step is to determine what track an individual is on. Only that person can shift
the circumstances, no matter how dire, look for resources, and take a big swing at a life
you want to live! When you put your head on the pillow to rest, you will know that
you’ve put forth your best effort at a fulfilling life. -MC
12756 W. Maya Way, Peoria, Arizona 85383 • 480-510-7166
mcubas@positivepotentials.com • www.positivepotentials.com
 2010 Positive Potentials LLC, Michelle Cubas • For Permission To Publish, please contact 480-510-7166