Sample Student Essay, revision assignment

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Choi 1
Tony Choi
Professor Sparks
Engl1B
September 21, 2009
The Change That Goes Unseen
Most Americans today believe that if our government is not addressing topics or making
laws the people want, citizens should raise their voices for change. This has been true for many
years before us, from the civil rights movement to the Vietnam War. Despite the understanding
of our rich history in standing up for what is right, most of our current generation have ignored
the social and political problems of today. On the other hand, a small minority has gone the
opposite direction and become proactive against all types of problems we have been facing. As
said by Thomas Friedman, in his New York Times article “Generation Q,” a small number of
college students are actively involved with other countries in rebuilding projects or studying
abroad. However, he is disappointed by how many fewer students are politically engaged
compared to his generation or the generations before him. Others would agree with Friedman’s
viewpoint, such as Andrea Frainier, a columnist and editor of the Spartan Daily. Frainier states
that college students are sitting on their butts and doing nothing while a group of elderly
grandmothers are leading the protest against the government for change. “The Raging Grannies,”
as these elderly women liked to be called, have taken our place on the streets conducting political
stunts using humor, theatrics and songs. With understanding of both viewpoints, I agree that we
as a generation are not doing as much as we should but I believe some people within our
generation are taking a stand and are not being given enough credit for it.
Choi 2
Most people today have good intentions of solving the problems we face in our country
or the world. These problems include helping to solve world hunger, stopping the spread of the
HIV/AIDS disease, ending the country’s huge deficit problem and many more. The truth is most
people don’t even have a clue on how to start. These problems may be enormously complex and
even harder for any one person to grasp but doing something is better than doing nothing.
Solving problems like world hunger might be a global issue but it can be simple to do your part.
For instance, an article from the San Francisco Chronicle titled, “Peanut Butter Plan to Feed the
Homeless Spread,” tells of a group of strangers connected together through Facebook, an online
social networking website, who meet monthly to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and
hand it out to homeless people in the streets of San Francisco. This is a perfect example of how
our generation can use technology positively to do their part with a big problem like solving
hunger in a big city. This simple plan of giving free sandwiches to people in need is just one
small instance of how our generation, the ones who are viewed as people that are glued to their
television, iPods, or the computer, are doing their share. Our generation is commonly
misunderstood and underestimated. Many believe this computerized generation is a bunch of
teenagers and college students who don’t care about anything and are not proactive. However,
often these groups of people take advantage of the technologies available today and using them
constructively in worthy causes. Groups such as the PB & J sandwich handouts are usually
unseen to the public and the media because other more interesting issues such as the newest
celebrity breakup or the next big company to file bankruptcy cloud the news we watch every
evening. Many groups such as the PB & J sandwich handouts are doing their part at a universal
problem like world hunger by making a difference and starting at the grassroots.
Choi 3
Still we ask ourselves what can I, myself, one single person can do? One person cannot
have a big enough impact and influence to make a change in the huge government system. Well,
this can be done and has been done. According to an article in the San Francisco Chronicle,
“Green Teen Reaps Rewards of Eco-Friendliness,” by Julian Guthrie, Erin Schrode, a 13-yearold from Marin County thought the same way, “Hey, I'm just a kid. What can I accomplish?”
Now 18-years-old and heading off to college, Schrode has fought against the California
Legislature in removing harmful chemicals from cosmetics products. She has lobbied for the
California Safe Cosmetics Act, which has passed, and requires all harmful chemicals contained
in cosmetic product be labeled. She has also lobbied for the removal of lead in lipstick sold in
California through the group called Teens for Green, which she and her mother started. Through
these deeds she disproved the theory that one person cannot make a difference. As simple or
complex as it may be, depending on your point of view, to remove lead or harmful chemicals in
beauty products, it is a step towards change. It lets people who have lost their faith in the system
and who believe that their vote doesn’t count know that there are still people out there that can
make change happen. It shows others that you have a voice and it should be heard. Schrode stood
up for what she believed was wrong and did something about it. Like in the closing remark of
Frainier’s article about the Raging Grannies, “Stand up for something. Anything,” it shows that
we, citizens with the power to vote, ought to have a say in how things should be done. It doesn’t
have to be a topic as noble as world hunger or solving the nation’s deficit. You should stand up
for what you believe matters to you and interests you so that you can show people that the
system can work.
In contrast, many young men and women of our generation believe it doesn’t matter, that
their voices, their votes are not important in the grand scheme of things. The teenagers and
Choi 4
college students of our generation believe the topics and problems, like our California’s budget
crisis or the overpopulation of prisons, do not affect them personally and have no value to their
daily life, so these people choose to ignore the problem and let someone else handle it. This view
can be used to generalize the mindset of the majority of our generation, but if everyone thought
the same way, nothing would change. Lawmakers would be able to take advantage and make
laws that would support their own agendas and not the well-being of the people. There would be
no one to give feedback of what needs to be changed. For example, if California’s state
government cut half of the budget for education and no one said anything about it, more and
more funding would be cut until eventually it would be gone. If there is no action, no voice to
say, “Stop! What are you doing?” awful things would happen and there would be no
consequences for the people causing them. It is understandable that it looks impossible for one
vote or action to make a difference, but without it, it allows people to benefit and use the
government system for their own purposes.
As one of those students who don’t do anything about the problems we are facing today, I
see now that there are plenty of options to choose from to make a difference. It doesn’t have to
be protesting or participating in rallies you can express your voice in your own way. For
example, joining a school club or other programs that help others, even learning more about a
problem like lessening the damage to the environment is a way of expressing your voice and
doing something positive. Everyone can express their voice in their own way like the Raging
Grannies using theatrics and humor, going to your Congressmen about harmful products in your
make up, or doing something as simple as making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and giving
it to people in need. It does not have to be a major topic that will impact the entire world, just
stand up for something you believe in and change will happen.
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