Faith Family Reunion/Hand Out Materials
Testimony Links
 Link to David Kinnaman, “You Lost Me” Youtube Video
*used with permission
http://youtu.be/eD1iWqPERNw
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Link to Paula Isakson Testimony:
http://www.spreecast.com/events/faith-family-reunion-1
Why Kids Leave: Some Common Answers From Faith Family
Reunion
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Did not understand what was going on, church did not makes sense
Church seemed like a lot of singing, standing up, sitting down
Everyone that attends church is a hypocrite
I have done so many bad things in my life, how can God even love me?
The sermons do not make sense, they are just full of judgment.
I always feel guilt when I go to church, so I quit going.
I do not connect with the pastor or the people in the church, they are
just not friendly people.
I just quit going and slept in on Sundays, I fell out of the habit.
Church seems like a place to socialize, I can meet with my friends and
socialize so why do I need church?
Going to church cuts into my free time, I have to do and weekends are
my time to catch up.
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Going to church is for older people
I am afraid I will make a mistake in my talking about the Bible or may
not understand it correctly
Group Questions (Questions for small group breakout and
discussion)
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Question: Are you a parent whose children have left the
church? If not do you know of parents whose kids have left the
church?
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Question: Why is the subject of our kids leaving the church
such a hard subject to speak about?
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Question: What are some of the feelings you experience?
What are some of the common feelings that parents
experience?
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Question: Do you really know why your kids left the church? If
not why haven’t you asked them?
Full Article by Jon Nielson from Conversant Life,
“3 Common Traits of Youth Who Don’t Leave the Church”:
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Link: http://bit.ly/wOZEbY
Used with permission
What do we do about our kids?” The group of parents sat together in my
office, wiping their eyes. I’m a high school pastor, but for once, they weren’t
talking about 16-year-olds drinking and partying. Each had a story to tell
about a “good Christian” child, raised in their home and in our church, who
had walked away from the faith during the college years. These children had
come through our church’s youth program, gone on short-term mission trips,
and served in several different ministries during their teenage years. Now
they didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. And, somehow, these
mothers’ ideas for our church to send college students “care packages”
during their freshman year to help them feel connected to the church didn’t
strike me as a solution with quite enough depth.
The daunting statistics about churchgoing youth keep rolling in. Panic ensues.
What are we doing wrong in our churches? In our youth ministries?
It’s hard to sort through the various reports and find the real story. And
there is no one easy solution for bringing all of those “lost” kids back into
the church, other than continuing to pray for them and speaking the gospel
into their lives. However, we can all look at the 20-somethings in our
churches who are engaged and involved in ministry. What is it that sets
apart the kids who stay in the church? Here are just a few observations I
have made about such kids, with a few applications for those of us serving in
youth ministry.
1. They are converted.
The Apostle Paul, interestingly enough, doesn’t use phrases like “nominal
Christian” or “pretty good kid.” The Bible doesn’t seem to mess around with
platitudes like: “Yeah, it’s a shame he did that, but he’s got a good heart.”
When we listen to the witness of Scripture, particularly on the topic of
conversion, we find that there is very little wiggle room. Listen to these
words: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has
passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Cor. 5:17) We youth pastors need
to get back to understanding salvation as what it really is: a miracle that
comes from the glorious power of God through the working of the Holy
Spirit.
We need to stop talking about “good kids.” We need to stop being pleased
with attendance at youth group and fun retreats. We need to start getting
on our knees and praying that the Holy Spirit will do miraculous saving work
in the hearts of our students as the Word of God speaks to them. In short,
we need to get back to a focus on conversion. How many of us are preaching
to “unconverted evangelicals”? Youth pastors, we need to preach, teach, and
talk—all the while praying fervently for the miraculous work of regeneration
to occur in the hearts and souls of our students by the power of the Holy
Spirit! When that happens—when the “old goes” and the “new comes”—it will
not be iffy. We will not be dealing with a group of “nominal Christians.” We
will be ready to teach, disciple, and equip a generation of future church
leaders—“new creations”!—who are hungry to know and speak God’s Word. It
is converted students who go on to love Jesus and serve the church.
2. They have been equipped, not entertained.
Recently, we had “man day” with some of the guys in our youth group. We
began with an hour of basketball at the local park, moved to an intense game
of 16” (“Chicago Style”) softball, and finished the afternoon by gorging
ourselves on meaty pizzas and 2-liters of soda. I am not against fun (or
gross, depending on your opinion of the afternoon I just described) things in
youth ministry. But youth pastors especially need to keep repeating the
words of Ephesians 4:11-12 to themselves: “[Christ] gave...the teachers to
equip the saints for the work of the ministry, for building up the body of
Christ.” Christ gives us—teachers—to the church, not for entertainment,
encouragement, examples, or even friendship primarily. He gives us to the
church to “equip” the saints to do gospel ministry in order that the church
of Christ may be built up.
If I have not equipped the students in my ministry to share the gospel,
disciple a younger believer, and lead a Bible study, then I have not fulfilled
my calling to them, no matter how good my sermons have been. We pray for
conversion; that is all we can do, for it is entirely a gracious gift of God. But
after conversion, it is our Christ-given duty to help fan into flame a faith
that serves, leads, teaches, and grows. If our students leave high school
without Bible-reading habits, Bible-study skills, and strong examples of
discipleship and prayer, we have lost them. We have entertained, not
equipped them...and it may indeed be time to panic!
Forget your youth programs for a second. Are we sending out from our
ministries the kind of students who will show up to college in a different
state, join a church, and begin doing the work of gospel ministry there
without ever being asked? Are we equipping them to that end, or are we
merely giving them a good time while they’re with us? We don't need youth
group junkies; we need to be growing churchmen and churchwomen who are
equipped to teach, lead, and serve. Put your youth ministry strategies aside
as you look at that 16-year-old young man and ask: “How can I spend four
years with this kid, helping him become the best church deacon and sixthgrade Sunday school class teacher he can be, ten years down the road?”
Ten Reasons to Return to the Lutheran Church (LCMS) from
www.faithfamilyreunion.com
1. Learn about Love (of the Heavenly Father)
 Discover that the Lord loves the world, including you, so much that he
gave his only Son. His Son was born on earth and he walked the earth
for 33 years sharing the love that the LORD had for his people. He
then died for us (for our sins) so that our relationship might be
restored with him.
 Hear the good news that the Lord’s love in Jesus Christ is
unconditional. We are loved so much by the LORD. He loves you not
only when you obey him but also when you fail. His love remains
steadfast.
2. Get a free Gift:
 Discover the implication (significance) of Jesus dying on the cross for
you. Jesus died for us all. His death is a free gift, whether we believe
it or not. When we believe this, we experience freedom, peace and
rest. What a great alternative to a hectic and stressed out life on our
own.
 Find out that Jesus’ death on the cross for you (for your sins) is a
free gift, not something you have to earn. No payment is required;
there is no catch.
 Good works or deeds are not needed to pay for the forgiveness of
your sins.
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This free gift is not given just to certain good people but to all.
Through the Scripture the Lord offers this gift to everyone. When
we read his Word, we receive this free gift spoken of in Scripture.
When we participate in communion, we receive confirmation of this
wonderful gift that the Lord has given to us through body and blood
offered under bread and wine.
3. Learn the true meaning of the Law:
 When you are loved, you find out that you desire to love that person
back and do what pleases them, this is natural. When you learn and
understand the great love that the Lord has for you, you will find that
you desire to do what he asks of you.
 When someone loves you back, they want to do all that they can to
protect you and keep you safe. As you respond to the Lord’s love, you
find that the Law, that seemed to be a bunch of “do’s and dont’s”, was
actually created to keep you safe and secure in his love.
4. Hang out with a bunch of Hypocrites:
 Confirm what you already thought about people in church, that they all
are a bunch of hypocrites. Learn that this is “why” they are in church
in the first place because we all are hypocrites (those who attend
church and those who do not).
 Realize that “perfect” people do not attend church, why would they
need it? Instead hypocrites attend church because they realize their
imperfection and their need of a loving God.
 It is easy to judge people from the outside looking in, but when you
are in the fellowship of other hypocrites and actually talk to them,
you will find that they are a lot like you.
5. Discover how the Lord speaks to you:
 Did you know that when you read the Bible, that the Lord is speaking
to you? You may find that words or passages just seem to jump off
the page at you. Here is a great example when Jesus prayed for his
disciples and also prayed for future believers. When you read this
prayer you will get the feeling that Jesus is speaking to you, read it
here.
 Sometimes when the pastor preaches a sermon in church, the subject
matter seems to hit the nail on the head with an issue you are dealing
with.
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Perhaps a particular hymn that the congregation sings during the
service has a special meaning and brings you comfort with the wording
or the melody.
How about that still small voice, have you heard it before? Have you
noticed that when you listen to that loving still small voice and follow
through that you are often comforted and encouraged? And that
things seem to go the right way?
6. Find your own connection with the Lord, not your parents:
 Learn that “you” can communicate with the Lord, try it, just begin with
a simple ‘Dear Lord’.
 The Lord is not just there for your parents, but he is there for you,
for each of us. He is determined (he never gives up on us) to have a
personal relationship with each of us. It is hard to have a relationship
with him when you look at him as your parents God. Try to see him as
your Savior and Lord. When your relationship becomes personal you
will see a change.
 Realize that there is not only one way to communicate with the Lord;
you can talk to him as a friend asking questions or pray a formal
prayer like the Lord’s prayer.
 The more you ‘talk’ to him, the more you will want to ‘talk’ to him. He is
there for you.
7. Discover That You Are Unique and Special to the LORD:
 Have you ever wondered why you are the way you are? Do you question
what your purpose in life is?
 When God created human beings, he created them in his image. He
created male and female. He did not speak people into existence but
created them.
 When we are formed in the womb, we take on unique and special
characteristics from each of our parents that creates a one of a kind
person, an individual.
 As we grow from a baby to an adult, we discover that we each have a
unique personality and special gifts like no one else. Some of us are
speakers, others writers, some good with numbers, others musicians,
some are artists, others teachers.
 Each of us has been endowed with special gifts and talents that make
us unique. As we grow in love for the LORD, we begin to realize that
these gifts can be used to honor him in our daily life, our community
and our church.
8. Learn How to Live Beyond Ourselves:
 When we realize the great love that Jesus has for us, our heart
softens and creates a desire to help others. We begin to move from a
‘selfish’ existence to one that looks at other people and their needs.
 We begin to see the world through HIS (Jesus) eyes and not our own.
 We begin to serve others with our gifts and talents right around us
and in the world.
9. Find True Friendship:
 There is something to be said about being a “believer” in the company
of other “believers”. You will find that people in church are a lot like
you, and that they do not have an agenda but sincerely want to be your
friend.
 It can be hard to explain, but when you are a “believer”, you have an
instant family because of your connection with Jesus. This
relationship is similar to a relationship that a brother, sister, mother
or father may have with one another. You have a common interest
because you are part of the family.
 Sure there may be “hypocrites” attending church just to perhaps “look
good”, but there is a reason that they are there. So reach out to them
and watch the walls break down and invite them to be part of the
family.
 Discover that the pastor is there to guide you about the meaning of
the Bible and give good counsel for living life in today’s world.
 Learn that the pastor and his family are not perfect but human just
like you. He and his family are within reach, people to engage with and
not put on a pedestal.
10. Find Out Why Your Parents Were So Into Church – Discover What
Your Parents Were Talking About:
 As you go back to church and discover some of the reasons to attend
church for yourself, you will begin to understand what drew your
parents to church.
 Attending church is not about looking good to others or attending
because you have to out of obligation. Attending church gives you an
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opportunity to hear the Lord’s addressing you, to worship the LORD
and to get to know HIM in what he has done for you.
Attending church is social. Often people say they do not want to
attend church because it is social. However, when you attend church
you have the opportunity to worship the LORD with your church
family. In time you will discover that being with your church family
and around people that love the LORD is truly enjoyable and social too!
Attending church is very personal. If you attend church with the
mindset of church as being an activity or task that your parents did
then it will most likely not have a meaning for you. But when you
attend and look for your personal relationship with the LORD, church
will become indeed meaningful for you.
When you decide to step back into church again, make it your own, not
your parents “deal”. When you make it your own and experience a
personal relationship with the LORD, you will uncover an intense and
powerful friendship that brings peace, joy and answers to questions
you have in life. As you grow in your “personal” relationship with HIM,
you will discover that you are not alone but have one true friend that
will never leave you.
Come join us and hang out with a bunch of hypocrites!
On Line Resources:
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Faith Family Reunion Website: www.faithfamilyreunion.
Faith Family Reunion Twitter: https://twitter.com/Faithfamilyreun
Faith Family Reunion Facebook Page:
https://www.facebook.com/FaithFamilyReunion
Email Sign Up: http://faithfamilyreunion.us6.listmanage.com/subscribe?u=ad92613009b3106c1d683d38c&id=9eb192c
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Good Reading: (Books that deal with kids leaving the church)
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You Lost Me – David Kinnaman
The Unchurched – David Kinnaman
Sticky Faith – Dr. Kara E. Powell & Dr. Chap Clark
Engaging Today’s Prodigal – Carol Barnier
The Prodigal God – Tim Keller
Encouraging Bible Verses
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Is 44: 2-4 (I am the Lord’s [spoken by the Lord’s people])
Lamentations 3: 22-27
Psalm 131 – Rest in the Lord (hope in the Lord)
Psalm 103 – Love of God (the steadfast love of the Lord)
Ps 63: 1-8 (You have been my help)
Ps 66: 16 – 20 (Blessed be God)
Ps 34 – God answers prayer (the Lord answers prayers) [This is a
great psalm]
8. Ps 43 (Hope in the Lord)
9. Psalm 32 (The blessings of forgiveness)
10. Ps 139 – You know me (The Lord knows me)
11. Proverbs 3: 5 – 6 Trust the Lord (Trust in the Lord)
12. Proverbs 29: 25 – Fear the Lord (Fear of the Lord)
13. Proverbs 30: 5 – Truth God (A shield of refuge)
14. Romans 8: 26-30 (The Lord works all things for good)
15. Romans 8: 38 – 39 (Nothing will separate us from the love of the
Lord)
16. Romans 5: 1 – 10 – Peace and Joy (God’s favor) (Peace with the Lord
through Jesus Christ)
17. Romans 3.21-24 (Right with the Lord through faith in Christ)
Additional Reading Online:
1. Brett Kunkle/Conversant Life:
http://www.conversantlife.com/belief/whos-waiting-for-your-kids