Changing the Tone of a Passage
40 points
In the following exercise, we are going to change the tone within a piece of literature, movie clip. or play.
Directions:
1. Search the Internet and choose a short scene from a story (from a book, movie, or play).
2. Copy the original lines down on a Google doc.
3. Pick a character and cite his or her original tone at the top of the original passage. You may choose to
analyze the narrator’s tone.
4. Choose a new tone for that character or narrator.
5. Copy and paste the original passage again below the first one. This will be the passage that you change
to fit the new tone. Write the character’s/narrator’s new tone above the passage you will be changing.
6. To change the character’s/narrator’s tone, change the character’s/narrator’s diction (vocabulary), syntax
(sentence structures), and non verbals.
You will need to pay close attention to word choice (euphemisms and dysphemisms) to re-invent
the tone. Note how the character/narrator interacts with other people and his or her environment. Subtle
changes can have dramatic effects on the tone. Add or subtract key information to develop your reinvented character. Do not change any elements of the story that do not directly affect the character’s new
tone.
7. Highlight the changes you make to the new version (the re-invented tone passage) and strike through
the lines you wish to omit.
8. Share your document with Mr. Boesch.
An example is provided below.
Changing Chapter 3 of The Great Gatsby: Nick Carraway Meets Jay Gatsby
Jay Gatsby’s Original Tone: Apologetic
“This is an unusual party for me. I haven’t even seen the host. I live over there ——” I waved my
hand at the invisible hedge in the distance, “and this man Gatsby sent over his chauffeur with an
invitation.” For a moment he looked at me as if he failed to understand.
“I’m Gatsby,” he said suddenly.
“What!” I exclaimed. “Oh, I beg your pardon.”
“I thought you knew, old sport. I’m afraid I’m not a very good host.”
He smiled understandingly — much more than understandingly. It was one of those rare smiles with
a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced — or
seemed to face — the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an
irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just so far as you wanted to be understood, believed
in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of
you that, at your best, you hoped to convey. Precisely at that point it vanished — and I was looking at an
elegant young rough-neck, a year or two over thirty, whose elaborate formality of speech just missed
being absurd. Some time before he introduced himself I’d got a strong impression that he was picking his
words with care.
Almost at the moment when Mr. Gatsby identified himself, a butler hurried toward him with the
information that Chicago was calling him on the wire. He excused himself with a small bow that included
each of us in turn.
“If you want anything just ask for it, old sport,” he urged me. “Excuse me. I will rejoin you later.”
When he was gone I turned immediately to Jordan — constrained to assure her of my surprise. I had
expected that Mr. Gatsby would be a florid and corpulent person in his middle years.
“Who is he?” I demanded.
“Do you know?”
“He’s just a man named Gatsby.”
“Where is he from, I mean? And what does he do?”
Jay Gatsby’s Re-invented Tone: Condescending
“This is an unusual party for me. I haven’t even seen the host. I live over there ——” I waved my
hand at the invisible hedge in the distance, “and this man Gatsby sent over his chauffeur with an
invitation.”
For a moment he looked at me as if he failed to understand.
“I’m Gatsby,” he said suddenly, not even looking at me.
Shocked by his assuming response, I murmured under my breath, “Hey, I beg your pardon.”
“I thought you knew, old sport. I’m afraid I’m not a very good host.; everyone knows me.
Everyone.” He casually took a sip from his glass and looked around at the other guests attending his
party-his eyes always elsewhere.
Then, he smiled smirked understandingly — much more than understandingly. It was one of those
rare specious smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance arrogance in it, that you may come across four
or five times in life all the time in West Egg. It faced — or seemed to face — the whole external world for
an patronizing instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It
understood angered you just as far as well beyond the point you wanted to be understood, believed in
distrusting you just as you would like to were trying to believe in yourself, and assured judged you that it
had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey. Precisely at that point it
vanished — and I was looking at an elegant I’m-better-than-you, richer-than-you young roughneck, a year
or two over thirty, whose elaborate formality of speech just missed being absurd. Some time before he
introduced himself I’d got a strong impression that he was picking his lofty words with care.
Almost at the moment when this Mr. Gatsby fellow identified himself, a butler hurried toward him
with the information that Chicago was calling him on the wire. He excused himself with nearly turned his
back to us without a goodbye, or even a small bow that included each of us in turn…
Suddenly, he closed in on me as if to accentuate his height over me. “If you want anything just ask
for it, old sport,” he urged. “Well...enjoy yourself, old sport...I will might rejoin you later, if I have the
time.”
When he was gone I turned immediately to Jordan — constrained to assure her of my surprise. I had
expected that Mr. Gatsby would be a florid and corpulent kind, almost gentle person in his middle years.
“Who is he? Who...Who, Who does he think he is?” I demanded.
“Do you know?”
“He’s just a man named Gatsby not just any man, Nick. He is the Great Gatsby.”
Here is a movie scene of the first interactions between Nick and Jay. Note how the characters are
interpreted:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFceWZ8PkDE
Tone Words
PASSIONATE
Zealous
Obsessive
Intense
Intimate
Involved
Heartfelt
Dedicated
Loving
Fanatical
Emotional
Ecstatic
Enthusiastic
Excited
Caring
CAUSTIC
Venomous
Acerbic
Mordant
Abusive
Mocking
Sarcastic
Scornful
Spiteful
Abrasive
Disdainful
Cruel
Biting
Offensive
Rude
HOLLOW
Detached
Cold
Emotionless
FURIOUS
Loathsome
Vengeful
Enraged
Infuriated
Inflamed
Frustrated
Agitated
Bothered
Livid
Irate
Upset
Irritated
AUDACIOUS
Daring
Bold
Brave
Overconfident
Bombastic
Brash
Haughty
Proud
SARDONIC/SATIRIC
Scornful
Mocking
Sarcastic
Irreverent
Derisive
Mordant
Cynical
Acerbic
Contemptuous
Disrespectful
Impertinent
Insolent
Condescending
ECSTATIC
Exuberant
Elated
Thrilled
Overjoyed
Excited
OPTIMISTIC
Believe
Hopeful
Wishful
Assured
Confident
Idealistic
Positive
Upbeat
Cheerful
Jovial
HUMOROUS
Comical
Farcical
Jocular
Amusing
Absurd
Ludicrous
Lighthearted (vs.
serious)
Playful
Informal (vs.
formal)
Skeptical
Dubious
Incredulous
Questioning
Hesitant
OMINOUS
Looming
Ominous
Inevitable
Fateful
Apocalyptic
Doomsday
Terminal
Fearful
Pessimistic
Apprehensive
PROUD
Honorable
Arrogant
Conceited
Self-centered
Snotty
Contemptuous
Patronizing
Haughty
Arrogant
Condescending
Overbearing
Defiant
Boastful
SYMPATHETIC
Compassionate
Sensitive
Caring
Empathetic
FORCEFUL
Powerful
Confident
Poised
Assertive
SCHOLARLY/
ACADEMIC
Pedantic
Didactic
Intelligent
Knowledgeable
Studious
Theoretical
Informed
DEFIANT
Rebellious
Protesting
Stubborn
Contemptuous
Obstinate
Disdainful
Scornful
Sneering
DISTRAUGHT
Distressed
Frustrated
Concerned
Anxious
Perturbed
Exasperated
Infuriated
Straightforward
Upfront
Direct
Honest
Candid
Frank
FLATTERING
Admiring