Katy Lindquist
Reflective Journal
Internship with SRED (Society for Rural Education and Development)
January 2012
Tamil Nadu, India
1/7/12
I finally made it to India. It was a long journey. I flew from Denver to San
Francisco, from San Francisco to Dubai, and then from Dubai to Chennai. I arrived at
the SRED center at around 4:00am and managed to sleep until 5:00 at night. When I
woke up today I was greeted by Fatima and some of her women. They are all very
sweet and incredibly welcoming. Soon after I awoke, Fatima took be to her house
for a big meeting of the Dalit leaders in the area. Fatima lives in a Dalit village
herself, but her house is very nice. It is definitely one of the largest houses in the
village and she has a woman who helps with all of the cooking and cleaning. The
meeting was very interesting. The leaders introduced themselves to me and told me
about some of their work. Much of the meeting was in Tamil, but they did their best
to translate if for me. After the meeting was over, we had a huge Indian dinner. I’m
not sure why this didn’t occur to me before, but they don’t use utensils in India.
They handed me a plate of rice and dahl and chicken and beef and other things I
don’t know the name of. But they didn’t hand me any utensils. So I sat waiting until
I noticed the men sitting next to me using their fingers. The Westerner in me was
alarmed at first. But I got over it fast and started eating with my fingers too. I was
terrible at it and I could see some of them smiling at me as I struggled. I sat next to
one leader who spoke decent English. He told me about some of his work in Dalit
villages and explained the general struggle of the caste system in India. Every one of
the leaders was very open to sharing their stories with me. I have a feeling that this
will be a common occurrence during my time here.
1/8/12
Today I was woken up by two young girls. They poked their heads in my
room and kept repeating the word food. I got dressed and then went outside where
I found more than a dozen children watch as an older woman handed me a plate of
food. They watched carefully as I ate my breakfast. Most of the children come from
very poor families and because of different circumstances dropped out of school or
never even attended school in the first place. Fatima and her team work in
thousands of villages and have found these kids and have convinced their parents to
let them live at the center where they get a safe place to sleep, three meals a day,
and a great education. The school is right at the center. One of the school teachers
lives with the children. The center fosters a community like feeling that helps the
children learn the value of education and how fun it can be. I spent the morning
playing with the children. None of them speak English so I had to figure out other
ways to communicate. I taught them games and songs and dances and they did the
same for me. It definitely got easier to communicate after a while, however I can tell
that one of the biggest barriers I will encounter here is the language barrier. In the
afternoon I drove with Fatima, Vimala, Chandran, Ganessan, and the driver Mohan
to Chennai for a book fair. When I think of a book fair, I think of the small gym sized
book fairs my high school had. This book fair was ginormous. There must have
been hundreds of book vendors there and thousands and thousands of people. It
was crazy. Most of the books are in Tamil and are very cheap. Vimala, Fatima’s
right hand woman told be about the Sri Lankan issue while we were walking around
the fair. Apparently the Sri Lankan government killed hundreds of Tamil people
that live in Sri Lanka. Basically, the government is committing a small-scale
genocide. It blows my mind how something like that has never reached my ears
before. On the way home from the book fair, we witnessed an accident between
two two-wheelers on the road. We pulled over to help out. Both of the victims were
men. Fatima said that they were both “fully drunk.” They were unconscious when
we left. An ambulance was on its way. I guess America is not the only country that
struggles with a drinking and driving problem.
1/9/12
I awoke to the sound of children and roosters this morning. I played with the
children until they went to school. They love the Hoky Poky and Ring Around the
Rosie. I spent most of the day at another one of SRED’s centers in the village of
Palavoy. I was greeted at the center by around 25 woman who pinned flowers in my
hair and gave me endless smiles and handshakes. These were mostly women from
the Tailoring and Embroidery Unite of SRED. We all sat under a pavilion. They
introduced themselves to me and told me what their role in SRED was. Then they
showed me all of the products that they made. I am going to help make a catalogue
so they can better advertise everything they are capable of making. Then some of
the women showed me the other projects they as a unit undertake. The first is the
sanitary napkins project. A grant was given to SRED for these special machines that
help make sanitary napkins. All of the women are trained on the machines and
produce napkins for many of the schools in the area with young girls. The napkins
are also given to many villagers as well as sold in the market. The women also
showed me their paper cup making project. Another grant was given for the women
to purchase machines to make paper cups, which are produced and then sold to
stores in Chennai mostly. It was incredible to see all of these empowered women
taking initiative to change their lives and the lives of their fellow villagers. I feel like
today I really got to see Fatima in her element. She commands her women well and
they all of such a great level of respect for her.
1/10/11
Five days before I went to India Cyclone Thane hit the southeastern side of
India. The cyclone killed around 40 people and left extensive damage in areas that
were still recovering from the tsunami. The damage was mostly a little bit north of
where I was staying but was still affecting many of the villages in which Fatima does
her work. Today I spent the day traveling to the affected area. SRED gathered
donations and was able to get enough money in order to provide one tribal village
made up of 23 families with rice, dahl, and cooking oil. First Magi (one of Fatima’s
main women who speaks decent English and has a contagious laugh) and I went to
the village to survey the damage and talk to the people. The damage was extensive.
Many of the huts and structures that they lived in were completely destroyed. The
power lines were down. The village hadn’t had electricity in almost two weeks.
There were trees down everywhere – a few in the middle of the road. The
community was struggling in providing enough food for their families because the
little income that they did make in some agricultural work was diminished when the
cyclone came and destroyed the area. I took many pictures of what I saw there.
After surveying the damage and talking with the people for a while, we distributed
the food. The community was incredible thankful. The food that we gave them will
help them get through the next few weeks as they start to rebuild their shelters and
find income again. It will make a real impact.
I met one young man and young woman while I was there who were just a
little bit older than me. The man was leaving to get his masters in pharmacy very
soon, but felt obliged to spend as much time at home with his family before he left.
The young woman just got her bachelors in chemistry. They both spoke excellent
English. They were clearly the exceptions in the village. Many of the children didn’t
make it past primary school. And even though they both were very well educated,
they still decided to come back to their village and family. I don’t know why, but it
left me feeling weird and a little sad. I liked them both very much.
We visited a few more villages along the coast. I went and stood in the ocean
and looked around at all the damage on the coast. There are fishing boats that are
completely destroyed with trees on top of them. We talked to some fishers for a
while that told us that they are really struggling because most of their gear and
boats are unusable. It felt like such a contradiction because the beach and ocean
was so beautiful but the destruction all around the coast was extreme.
A Dalit leader (who’s name I just couldn’t understand) joined us for the
distribution of the food. I spent a long time talking with him. He told me a lot about
the Dalit struggle. One thing that I found most interesting is that Gandhi is a very
controversial figure in Dalit politics. Gandhi did not support the struggle of the
Dalits. All of his initiatives and campaigns benefited largely only the Brahmin (the
highest caste). Ambedkar (the legendary Dalit leader) went to visit Gandhi during
his hunger strike and appealed to him to restructure the way he was approaching
his activism. Gandhi didn’t listen to Ambedkar and has made the cause of the Dalit
that much more difficult. It is crazy that a huge internationally recognized figure of
peace and human rights was also at the same time marginalizing another group of
extremely poor people. It makes me a little uneasy. I fear that this might be an
example of a larger discourse an activism. Maybe all activism is really a part of a
double edged sword. While you help some people, you also will hurt another group
of people. I don’t know.
On the way home, Magi explained in some more detail all of the things that
SRED and Fatima does. I worked for Fatima for an entire semester and she failed to
tell me SO much of what she does. She founded SRED in 1979 and since then has led
the charge in 15 movements – 3 state and national movements and 12 local
movements. When I say movements, I mean specific issues targeting a specific
group of people for example the sex worker movement, the rural women movement,
the tribal (or irula which is the more correct term) movement, and the mathamma
movement. SRED calls them movements because the goal is to mobilize the people
affected by these issues to speak up for their rights and pressure the government to
give them the rights that are written for them in the constitution. SRED is a very
people focused empowerment organization that focuses on putting power in the
people’s hands and holding the government responsible for maintaining a true
democracy. The more Magi told me the more I was blown away by the change
Fatima has made in Tamil Nadu and India in general. Even though I visited her
office everyday and felt like I learned a lot about her and her work, she only told me
the tip of the iceberg.
1/11/12
Today I spent the day at the other SRED center at Palavoy with the entire
SRED team. The all introduced themselves to me and explained their roles in SRED.
The way it works is that each of the 15 movements has a coordinator. After the
coordinator there are one or two other leaders and one secretary like person. The
coordinator and leaders help set up smaller leadership structures in each village
they work in. The meeting today was a meeting of all of the coordinators and some
of the leaders. They talked about a lot of business related stuff – most of which was
in Tamil so I didn’t understand. And then they all sat down and planned the rest of
my program for my stay here. The meeting was very long but I really enjoyed
getting to know the SRED staff.
I spent the rest of the night with the children. We did many rounds of the
hokey poky. The taught me some of their own dances and songs. The kept making
me sing English songs. I felt sorry for them because my voice is not very pleasant to
listen to, but they kept insisting that I sing. I had dinner with the young school
teacher who lives at the center with the children. Her name is Preethi and she is 20
years old. She is very shy, but sweet. I think we will become good friends once she
is more comfortable with me. After dinner Preethi asked if I would help some of the
older kids with English. So I sat down with one boy named Meganathan and asked
him questions in English and taught him how to respond. Other children joined in.
I’m not sure how effective I was at a teacher, but I think the kids had a good time.
1/12/12
Today I spent the morning in the office with Fatima, Vimala, and Sarass. I
helped edit a report on the cyclone for Fatima. The report was for a grant from an
organization in Germany for more money for relief for the people on the coast. I
then set up a wordress website for SRED, which is very exciting. They have never
had a website before. I got the basics set up and then started training Vimala and
Sarass on how to use it. In the afternoon Fatima took me to visit a group of Nomads
in the area. The Nomads looked very different from other people in the area. They
are much dirtier and where different clothing. The men mostly hunt small birds and
sell them in the market. The women make beads and then sell them in the village.
Most of the children don’t go to school. SRED has employed two teachers to work
with the Nomad children. I got to meet both of them. They told me that they spend
most of their time teaching the children basic skills of life – not education. Nomads
are an interesting case when talking about human rights. Many times they actively
choose to give up certain rights such as the right to shelter and an education
because they would rather be free. So in a way trying to provide them with their
rights takes away some of their rights. I’m not sure how I feel about it. Maybe its
just my Western bias creeping in, but I do believe that every child should have the
right to an education. But the Nomads seemed happy and content, so maybe I am
wrong.
1/13/12
I spent the first part of the morning with the children, who I am growing to
love quite dearly. Then I gave a long English to some of the SRED workers who
mostly speak limited English. I started off with some basic phrases and questions
and then helped each of them construct an explanation in English of their role in
SRED and the movement they are in charge of. By the end of the class, I feel like I
learned SO much more about what SRED does and the magnitude to which it
reaches across southern India. I also think that I become closer to many of the
workers who each have their own stories with how and why they became involved
with SRED.
In the afternoon Gracy (another one of Fatima’s women who speaks pretty
good English) took me to an Irula (tribal) village. Instead of the car, we took public
transportation. First we can in a share auto which is a small yellow three wheel car.
I’m pretty sure there should be a max of 4, maybe 5, people in these autos.
However, somehow we managed to fit 10 people in this little auto. Crazy. Then we
got on a bus in town. The buses are crazy crowded. There were no seats open and
people flooding the isle. Some man was basically sitting on top of me the entire way.
It was very different from public transportation here. At the next bus stop, we had
to wait for a bus for about 20 minutes. Within those twenty minutes around 30 or
40 school children and a few other older women had gathered around me. Most of
them were just staring at me. A few touched my arms. Some of the older children
tried to talk with me in English. When I motioned that I was leaving, they
immediately stuck their hands out and I shook all of them. In the bus, a group of
school girls stared at me the entire way. It doesn’t bother me that people stare at
me here. Sarina, my best friend at school who has been to India and has family
there, warned me that this would happen and she was right. What does bother me
is that the color of my skin gives me some sort of celebrity status here. It makes me
uncomfortable that people go out of their way to give me things and make sure I am
comfortable. Even though I am a guest, I know I get even more special treatment
because of my skin. I shouldn’t. I am here to serve these people and learn about
grassroot organizing. I have never been more aware of my race. But I guess I’ve
never been in a situation where I was the only white person in a room, much less an
entire village. It is interesting and educational and I’m glad I’m thinking about it.
We were warmly welcomed at the Irula village. We all sat down and the
leaders of the village told me about their struggles and how the movement has
helped them. Basically, the tribal community is not recognized by the government. I
would argue that they are much worse off than the Dalit community. The movement
came to this very poor village and helped mobilize them to petition the government
for family cards, which allow them to get a certain amount of free rations at the
ration shop. This is essential for their livelihood. The village has also petitioned the
government for a community certificate which gives them more benefits under the
law. The village is still very poor, but it is clear that the movement has greatly
improved their lives through these small measures.
1/14/12
Today I spent the day with Fatima and her 9 year old niece Venassa. We went
swimming at a country club. There was nobody there. Fatima is so interesting.
Indian women do not go swimming, but Fatima is all about challenging gender roles.
We had a very nice lunch and I had an excellent day. I really enjoy Venassa. She is a
smart and sassy girl who is too charming for her own good. Fatima is definitely in
the upper class of the Dalit caste. She has the money to do these luxurious things.
She has a driver for SRED and for personal matters and she has a woman named
Rajama who does all of the cooking and cleaning in her house. It makes sense
because she has been so successful. But it is a good reminder that even within a
marginalized people group there is still a hierarchy. I spent the rest of the day with
Fatima and Venassa. One of Fatima’s brothers and sisters in law came to visit. They
were very nice. Then Fatima’s sister Lily and her daughter Hanna (Venassa’s sister)
came to stay for the night. I stayed with them because the children had gone home
to their own villages for the Pongul festival.
1/15/12
Today I spent the morning with Fatima and her family. Then Gracy took me
to another village for the Pongul festival. The Pongul festival is an annual festival
that happens for four days every January. The festival is celebrated by all of the
people in the state of Tamil Nadu in order to give thanks for the harvest. It is sort of
like a four day long Thanksgiving. I went to the village where Uma, one of the
Mathamma movement leaders, lives. When we arrived we went to Uma’s small
house and I got to meet her daughter Jennifer who is a very beautiful and bright 15
year old studying in the 11th standard and wants to be a doctor. Uma took us to the
village center where there was extremely large music playing. A pot of sweet
pongul was being cooked in a traditional mud pot. There were children dancing and
singing. It was a very joyful sight to look like. They gave me some sweet pongul,
which was very good and somehow convinced me to dance with them.
After that I walked around with Uma and Gracy. There are 16 Mathammas
who live in Uma’s village. They took me to meet Devi the main leader of the
Mathamma movement. She is a Mathamma herself. She showed me the meal she
had made for the Mathamma Goddess. I am a little puzzled to why she worships a
goddess who has caused her so much pain and humiliation. But I think that I am just
incapable of understanding how Hinduism works because I don’t know very much
about it and inevitably I wear a Western blindfold. Devi and Uma took me to visit a
Mathamma temple and told me some of the struggles of the Mathamma girls in the
village. Whenever Devi and the movement go to the government and say that there
are 16 Mathammas in the village that need housing and ration cards, the youth of
the village tell the police that there are no Mathammas there. I am unsure why the
youth of the village are working against the Mathamma movement. In fact the entire
Mathamma issue confuses me entirely. I find it so hard to understand how the
practice continues even when women learn about their rights. I guess it is proof of
the hold religion can have on a society. I don’t know. After the village visit I went
back to Fatima’s house for the night.
1/16/12
Today I spend the entire day ill. I think I must have eaten something in the
village yesterday that messed with my system. I woke up in the middle of the night
throwing up and have been in bed with a fever all day. I knew I was bound to get
sick at least once. Oh well.
1/17/12
Today Fatima took Lily (her sister), Venassa, and me to Chennai to visit some
tourist sites. First we went to the Mount of Saint Thomas who was one of the 12
disciples. Chennai is one of three other places in the world that is home to a known
body of a disciple. Saint Thomas came to India for twenty or thirty years doing
missions work. He is said to have first introduced Christianity to many parts of
India. He died in Chennai. The Saint Thomas shrine was beautiful. It was on top of
a big hill and you could see all of Chennai. There were many tourists there. I sat in
on a Catholic Church in Tamil which was interesting to watch. I have really only
seen Hinduism in action during my time here. It was nice to see a different type of
religion, even though Christianity constitutes only a small percentage of the
population in India. We also visited the Santhom which is where Saint Thomas’s
actual body is. After that we dropped Lily and Venassa off at their house in Chennai
and then went back home to Fatima’s.
1/18/12
Today I spent the morning at the Kalluru Center helping Fatima with some
editing. Then Magi, Gracy, Chandron, and Mohun took me to a huge Hindu temple.
It was enormous and so beautiful. We walked around for a while. I took many
pictures. A few groups of shirtless Indian men visiting the temple to pray asked to
take pictures with me too, which is so funny. Hinduism is such an interesting
religion. It seems so primal to me. The gods are so crazy and alien looking. And it
seems to man created to me. All of the temples and gods are built by men. But once
again, this is probably just something I can’t understand because of the conservative
Christian community I grew up in. Despite what I think, Hinduism is dominant here.
People dress it, decorate their houses with it, eat according to its laws, and set up all
aspects of their lives according to the religion. In very poor villages, the one building
that is well kept is the temple. I don’t know very much about Hinduism except that
it was many many gods – each village has its own good. And I know that it
reinforces the caste system. A lot of Dalits and Mathammas are converting to
Christianity and Islam because they see that conversion is their only real way to
truly free themselves from the caste system. They have to truly believe that they are
not below anyone else before they can attempt to improve their status in society.
After the temple, we went to a Dalit village. This was a very successful village
in the movement. I sat down with some of the women and listened to their stories.
The struggle started when one of the women got married and all of her relatives
came to town and freely took water from the common pond in the village. Dalits
were not allowed to directly get water from the pond because they were considered
untouchable. Another caste person would have to get the water for them. So when
the Dalit relatives directly took the water this angered the other caste members of
the village. The upper caste men came to the Dalit part of the village and beat up
many of the Dalit women. They all showed me their scars. The other caste people
would not let them use the common pond, the temple, the burial site and took much
of their land. The women joined the movement though and took their problems to
the government. Their village became internationally renown for its advocacy. The
government closed down the temple and said that they would only unlock it when
the two communities cooperated with each other. The government also gave
separate water and burial grounds and gave many of the Dalit grants and loans for
better housing and land. The community still has many struggles and remains very
poor but they serve as evidence that joining the movement and standing up for your
own rights as a collective group can yield great success.
After the village I came back to the Kallaru Center. Colene who is a Colby
student doing research in Chennai for her senior thesis on organ trafficking was
staying at the center for the night doing some interviews in town. It was nice to
catch up with her.
1/19/12
I’m going to miss the sunsets in India. They are the most beautiful sunsets
I’ve ever seen and they happen every night. I look forward to 6:00pm every night
because of the breathtaking beauty of the sunset.
I spent the morning at Kallaru. I gave another English lesson to the workers
and had such a great time. I think they are finally learning how to describe their role
in SRED in English. I also helped out with some office tasks. Then in the afternoon,
Magi, Revidee, Colene, Padma, and I went to do some doctor visits for Colene’s
research. She interviewed the doctors on their views on organ trafficking and the
laws surrounding organ donation. It was very interesting. Sarina would be so
interested. After that, Colene and Padma left.
Magi then took be to another Dalit village. This was another very successful
village in the movement. These people were subjected to many caste abuse and
were very poor with few basic amenities. After the movement came they petitioned
the government and received a separate ration shop, burial ground, and water tank.
They are now asking for a separate bus stop because when they wait for the bus, the
bus stand is in the upper caste part of the village and they are not allowed to sit or
stand under the stop. One major thing that I have been noticing is that the answer
to the problem is often to ask for separate resources. I wonder how much change
this brings to the social thinking of the culture. It is clear that having a separate
ration shop and water tank makes it much easier to satisfy the basic needs of these
people which is of prime importance. But does making everything separate change
this culture of discrimination or just eliminate the immediate sphere in which the
discrimination takes place. At the end of the day the other caste people have more
money and have better jobs. In the U.S. the civil rights movement campaigned for an
end to separate facilities. It seems to be the opposite here. In the short run having
separate resources clearly leaves a great impact on the livelihood of these people,
but in the long run is this caste mentality changing because of it?
After we left the village, we went to the outside of a nearby large temple and
picked up a few sex workers. We then drove to a small house close by. We did this
because if the police suspected we were having a meeting with sex workers they
would arrest all of them. In this small house, I was traditionally invited in the home
by the owner shaking a pan of red pepper water and putting a dab on my forehead
and then pouring the water on the cement in front of the doorway. We then
proceeded to sit down with about 19 sex workers ranging in age. The leader of the
movement started speaking first and told me her story. Over 35 years ago her
husband hung himself. He did this when she had two small children. She ended up
getting another boyfriend. However the man she was dating was bad news. One
day he sold her into a brothel. She was never allowed to leave the brothel and was
forced to cater to the “needs” of customers everyday. One day – probably because of
her age – the owner gave her 1000 rupees (roughly 20 dollars) and told her to leave
the brothel. She went back to her village. Her family was furious that she returned.
Her brother beat her up and told her that she was never to come back to the village
again because she was a sex worker. She ended up coming to the temple area
because there were many men looking for sex there. She had two small children and
no means to support herself. She had no education and no skill training and a
stigma as a sex worker that prevented her from getting any sort of job. She didn’t
have a house or any income. So she said that she did the only thing she knew how to
do. She worked as a sex worker in order to support herself and her two children.
When the movement came she got another job selling flowers in town and took
charge organizing other sex workers to educate them on their rights and build a
constituency that the government would have to listen to. Her story was so sad but
she was such a strong woman.
We spent the rest of the time answering questions that I had and talking
about what the movement was doing. Most of the workers became sex workers
because their husbands died and left them no money. Many of them had children
and no other means to support themselves. Many of them spent much of the small
amount of money they earn to buy alcohol in order to make the sex less painful.
Most of them are extremely poor and have children to care for. About 45 of the
3200 of the workers in the movement have HIV/AIDS and 5 of their children do.
Magi says that they live in one of the worst conditions of the people that RED works
with. After the movement came, it helped some of them get small jobs selling
flowers, fruit, bangles, and baskets in town as an alternative to sex work. However
many of them are still sex workers. The movement is currently petitioning the
government to get them land for a house. Once they have a permanent address, they
are eligible for family and ration cards. These things will help them greatly and
could act as a platform to get them out of sex work. After talking until it was dark
outside, we all hugged and said goodbye. They were so grateful for my presence and
showed me an attachment that was much deeper than the color of my skin. This
meeting showed me the power of just listening to someone’s story. Many of those
woman have lives that are so much harder than I could ever comprehend. There is
not much I could do to help them right now. But by showing them that I cared and
listening to their story – a story that they don’t get to tell many people – I truly felt
like I made an impact on their lives. It was a very hard meeting to sit through but
I’m so glad that I did.
1/20/12
Today Fatima took me to a Mathamma meeting at the Palavoy center. I spent
the first part of the meeting photographing all of the products and taking pictures of
the women in action – sewing and making sanitary napkins and paper cups. I am
going to use them to help make a catalogue for Fatima’s tailoring unit women before
I leave. Then I sat in on the rest of the Mathamma meeting. There were all ages
there including some very young children. They sang and danced and played games
for a while and then they sat down in a circle and talked about their problems. I
didn’t understand much of it because I didn’t have a translator but I could tell that it
was hard on all of them. Their bodies basically have no rights and they are dedicated
to this Goddess for life. It is heartbreaking. After the meeting I came back and did
some office work with Vimala. I can’t believe I go home in a week and I don’t think
I’m ready. But maybe I will be in a week. Probably not.
1/21/12
I’ve realized something being here – well actually I’ve realized a lot – but one
of the main things I have learned is the power of grassroots organizing. One of the
main things I was excited to see here in India is how a true grassroots human rights
organization operates. I have been nothing but impressed with SRED. Even though
they lack a lot of technology skills that could amplify their efforts and funding is
often short, SRED knows how to mobilize and empower people. Sometimes SRED
gives aid, but mostly the workers work on empowering the people to fight for their
rights and join an organized movement of people rallying for a better livelihood. I
have only ever seen how a U.S. based human rights NGO operates and I’m pretty
sure that none of the Western based NGO’s I know could do the job that SRED is
doing here. They know the people and understand the culture and have a direct
connection that quite frankly Westerners will never have especially when they are
doing all of their advocacy on the other side of the world.
Today Magi and Mohen took me to a tourist site on the coast. The site was a
bunch of old Hindu temples from like 4 BC. They were incredible. Hinduism is a
very material heavy religion but it is also very beautiful to look at. I really like Magi.
She is a strong woman who is very committed to tis cause. And she has a wonderful
sense of humor. And Mohen is just a big joker. Even though he speaks very little
English we are becoming very good friends. When at the tourist sites we went down
to the beach. I put my feet in the water. I love the ocean. There is something so
beautiful and peaceful while at the same time terrifying and chaotic. It is a
contradiction and anthropologists love contradictions.
1/22/12
Today I slept in for the first time on the entire trip. So nice! Magi took be on
her two wheeler (!) to a nearby Irula (Tribal Village). We sat down and talked with
the two Irula movement leaders for a while. The main thing that the movement was
doing there was petitioning the government for family cards and better housing. So
far the government has come through for 45 of the 300 families. Most of the people
in the village work making bricks. And when I say most people I mean the women
and children too. Most of the children don’t go to school because they have to stay
home and help make the bricks. They showed me around the brick making area and
then showed me how to make a brick. It is a very laborious job and must be
extremely hard on your body. The family get’s paid 400 rupees for every 1000
bricks made. One of the leaders told me that it takes roughly 2 days to make 1000
ricks – 2 days with very long hours. 400 rupees roughly translates into around 8
dollars – which is less than I make in one hour at Colby. The poverty in the village
was extreme and the lack of education for the children is heartbreaking. They were
lovely children. They held my hand and walked alongside me the entire way.
Fatima said that there is only so much they can do for these people because the
poverty is so extreme. The first step is getting a family card, which gives you access
to the ration shop and the other government benefits. Many of these people don’t
have one because they are Irulas and are therefore not recognized by the
government.
I spent the rest of the day with the children. I taught two of the older girls –
Meena and Vivitha - English for a while and then played games and watched TV with
the smaller ones. They all tried to teach me Tamil, which is a beautiful language
both spoken and written but is incredibly difficult. It has like 250 characters!
1/23/12
Today I spent the day at Kallaru working with Sarass on the catalongue for
the tailoring unit. She is a very fast learner but it is in general a long and tedious
process that took all day. I went to Fatima’s house for a nice dinner with her and her
mother. I spent the rest of the night with Preethi and the older children working on
English. The children are becoming the highlight of my days here. I’m growing far
too attached to all of them and know that saying goodbye is going to be very hard.
1/24/12
I’m not ready to leave this place. For a while I was afraid that I wouldn’t be
ready to face Colby. While that is still true, the more important problem is that I
love it here and don’t want to leave. Yesterday in the car I was thinking about
saying goodbye and for the first time in a long time I felt that panicky sad feeling in
my heart. I love it here. I love being with Fatima and her family. I love playing with
the children and teaching them English. I love having dinner with Preethi every
night. I love teaching the women in the office about pictures and web stuff and
watching them understand and do it on their own. I love visiting the villages and
hearing the hard stories of the people and then hearing what the movement is going
to overcome their problems. I love the food. I love watching the sunset set fire to
the sky every night. I love talking with the women and forming friendships through
language barriers. I love singing with the children. I love watching my 9:00pm
movie with my cup of tea every night. I love my hot shower in the morning. I love
waking up to the sound of playing children and roosters. I even love this hard bed
and all of the crazy dreams I have on it. I love waving at the children 100 times a
day. I love eating with my hands. I love playing with Puppy at Fatima’s house. I
love reading my book while I eat my breakfast. I love meting all of the amazing
empowering people Fatima knows. I’ve made a home for myself here. I was so
nervous about coming here. It felt so casual and unimportant. Maybe I casually
came here but I am sure not casually going home. It is going to be hard on my heart.
I can already feel it. I will never forget the stories I heard here. I will never forget
the faces of all of the children. I will never forget the drive of all of the women. And
I will never forget the love I have found so abundantly here.
Today Fatima took me to a meeting of Dalit and Tribal leaders from the 3
districts that SRED works in. I didn’t understand most of the meeting because it was
in Tamil, but Sarass did translate much of it. Apparently after I left the tribal brick
making village the other day the government came and cut down the electricity
lines. They claimed that the village was getting electricity for free because of the
work of the previous chief minister of the state and that they could no longer do this.
In order for them to get electricity back, the village families have to pay a large
amount of money each month (2,500 rupees), which they simply can’t afford. The
leaders spent a long time talking about this and how to approach it.
I spent the rest of the day and night with the children. I sat in the office with
Preethi and Sangeetha, the two school teachers who are my age, talking for a while.
They are very sweet girls and I finally feel like we are becoming real friends. I asked
them both if they had boyfriends. They both accused each other of having
boyfriends – which I’m assumer are just little crushes. It felt like three girls laughing
and giggling about boys. After we joked around for a while, Preethi told me that she
will be married next year in an arranged marriage where her parents will pick the
boy for her. She won’t get any say in it. I asked her how that made her feel and she
skirted around my question. Sangeetha said she won’t have an arranged marriage
but that Jesus will lead her to the boy she is supposed to be with if it is His will for
her to be married. Both of them are strong Christians. Sangeetha is the exception in
Indian society. Most marriages, like Preethi’s, are arranged. This makes me sad. I
feel like this is just one of the other ways in which I am privileged as a Westerner. I
will get to marry somebody I love because I have that freedom. But once again,
maybe this is just my Western mindset getting in the way per usual.
Preethi showed me her classroom and talked me through the lessons and
activities she does with the kids. Preethi and I had dinner together. I think she gets
lonely staying by herself at the center. The children make good company and I can
tell she loves them very much, but she still seem s a little sad. We spent the rest of
the time with the children. I sang a lot. I’ve always thought of myself as a terrible
singer, but the more I sing by myself the more I enjoy it. Maybe I’m not as bad as I
thought. Or maybe I am and the children are lying when the say they like my voice.
Who knows. They taught me some Tamil songs and words. I then told them the
Bible Story of Noah’s Ark. Preethi translated. All of them, except for Meganathan,
come from Hindu families but they all seem to love Christianity. They pray every
day in the morning, love Christian songs, and love Bible stories. It’s very interesting.
Meganathon sat by me the entire time. He is a sweet boy with great leadership
qualities and will grow up to be a good Indian man. The only obstacle for him is that
his family is very poor and illiterate. He doesn’t even know when his birthday is. He
will have to do it by himself and that is a hard thing to do. A little girl named
Meenatchi sat on the other side of me. She tried to teach me Tamil for a while and
declared me her sister. I love the children very much.
1/25/11
Today Fatima took me to Chennai for a regional workshop called
“Implementing Women Friendly Laws.” I thought that most of the program was
relatively boring with too many numbers and text heavy powerpoints with little
focus on people actually on the ground. I did enjoy comparing the chaos and lack of
organization to the chaos of similar organization back in the states. Some
interesting things thought regarding child marriage and Hindu culture. A big
argument against child marriage campaigns is the culture argument. Many people
claim, “ We can’t change this – it is our culture!” How do you overcome this? We
know that there is an injustice at hand but how do you solve it within a respectable
cultural context? An anthropological dilemma, I suppose. Another interesting
though concerns rape. Many of the women at the conference were talking about
alws protecting women from domestic violence and rape. Some were either talking
about the need for rape kits and rural mobile clinics. But Fatima said that the real
problem is not the law or clinics but the fact that women simply don’t report rape
because they are so ashamed. This comes back to a culturally specific attitude
towards sex and conservatism. The key is education and the more I read and see
here in India the more I believe that the first step must be education. Without it,
everything else falls apart. Spent the rest of the night with Preethi and the children.
1/26/12
Today is Indian Republic Day. 63 Years ago today India’s free government
was formed. For the morning, the children had a flag raising program that was so
much fun to watch. All of the children were in uniform and had flags pinned to them
and flowers in their hair. There was singing and saluting. I took many pictures and
enjoyed watching the children be so happy. I spent most of the day with Sarass in
the office. We almost finished the catalogue which is such an accomplishment. I
spent the rest of the time training her on the website. She finally got it and was so
happy. I think her and I are becoming real friends. Her English is spotty but we
understand each other and talked a lot today. She is a very right young woman who
learns very fast. After that, Fatima, Venassa, and her older sister picked me up and
we went to visit her brother in Chennai because it is his daughter, Cathy’s 17th
birthday. We had a nice big dinner that was spicy but delicious. Cathy is a very
sweet girl. Her brother Vijay who is my age is very shy. I enjoy meeting all of
Fatima’s family. They are all very kind and friendly. I feel at home with them as if I
could be a part of the family.
1/27/12
I’m getting sadder and sadder about leaving. I think I have to come back next
January. It is going to be the hardest to leave the children. I love them all so much
and am spending every last second that I can with them. I think it is the hardest
because I know that the odds of me ever seeing them again is slim and after that
bonds that we made that is hard on my heart.
Today was a special day. I woke up and finished the catalogue with Sarass,
which is very exciting! Today was a special meeting for the Mathamma movement.
The money that had been donated by the Rotary Club in Maine was used to buy
fruits and vegetables and fish for the Mathammas to sell in their village to make a
profit which the will then use to buy more goods to sell in their villages. The
morning was filled with powerful speaker from the movement and other Dalit
leaders. The meeting will be on the news later tonight, which is so cool. A local
government figure came and gave a talk that was very well received. He promised
to make the Mathamma issue a higher priority in his work. Then the good were
distributed out to the Mathamma women. I got to hand out a basket! After lunch
was the cultural program. There was a bunch of street theater and singing. I LOVED
the street theater. It was so similar to the forum theater I did at Colby with Dalit
issues, which is so cool to see how connected they actually were. Then there was a
lot of dancing. The children joined in and pulled me into the dance with them and
some of the women. I had such a good time. So much joy!
After the meeting was over, the staff and coordinators of SRED sat down and
conducted an evaluation of my stay there. They went through day by day my stay
there and what I accomplished. It was all in Tami so I’m not sure what all was said.
After the evaluation, Shanthi stood up and honored me with a beautiful green shall
for finishing the catalogue. Then they gave me a present of a beautiful embroidered
shirt. I feel so honored and blessed to have gotten so close to these people. After
that I said a few comments about my stay there. Don’t now if I accurately summed
it up. I had so much to say. I truly believe in the ultimate power of grassroots
organizing after my stay here. These people are making true progressive change
while still respecting cultural values. The meeting was a beautiful end to my stay
here. I got a picture with all of the workers and feel like my time with them came to
a happy end despite how sad I am to leave.
I ate dinner at Fatima’s house and then took an auto back to the center with
Rajamma. On the way we stopped at Sangeetha’s house to say hello. I met her
family, who are all so sweet. I spent the rest of the night with the children. Some of
the girls dressed up in saris and we all danced around. I don’t know what it is about
these kids but they have touched my heart. Maybe it is that I just love children, but
it feels different. I feel protective of them and my heart drops when I think about
leaving.
1/28/12
Today I woke up and spent some time with Sangeetha, Preethi, and the
children. They showed me their daily morning prayer routine. I’m pretty sure that
part of this education might be an active effort to convert these kids to Christianity.
Then I went swimming with Fatima and Venassa. Sarass came and watched. After
that I came back and helped Sarass with some editing and picture stuff. After that I
spent some time talking with Sangeetha and the children. She told me that she is
taking an exam to hopefully be placed in a government job where she will oversee a
bunch of schools. She said that around 76,000 people take the test, but only 32
people get the position. I told her she must write when she finds out!
I spent the rest of the night with the children. I did the hoky poky with a
bunch of the children and the girls dressed up in saris again. I talked with Preethi
for a long time while the children were eating. She told me this situation of some of
the children. Meganathan and Magesh come from very poor families and are slow
learners so their teachers beat them. They dropped out of school. Mala and her
sister, Sonia, lived too far away from the nearest school to attend. Vivitha had to
stay home and drop out of school because she had to take care of her father he was
ill with leukemia. Renaka and Kavia’s parents were both beggars and couldn’t afford
to send their children to school. Meenatchi and her sister belong to the Irula
community who in this case are largely migratory workers. Two months ago her
father committed suicide. She never went to school before this. Meena, who is
incredibly bright, belonged to a very poor family that could not afford to send her to
school. Vijay also belonged to a very poor family. He ran away from school because
he didn’t like it. Sylvan also belonged to a very poor family and has a heart
condition. A few of the girls parents had separated and their mothers had
remarried. This made their family reject them because they were offspring of the
other father. Mauri was addicted to some sort of drugs and was unable to attend
school. All of the children are in some way drop out children. They come from very
different and very hard situations. Preethi says that many of them are still very slow
learners. After that I sat with Preethi and some of the other children in the
downstairs hall. Magesh, Mauri, and Karthi were making rythms and songs with
their hands on the table. They were so talented – especially Magesh. Preethi said
that he is a slow learner but is very talented at music. And Karthi was such an
excellent little dancer. I really enjoyed watching them, but it also made me a little
sad. The truth of the matter is that they will never have the chance to pursue what
they love to do. If I was as talented as them I would have the opportunity to pursue
that in the states. But they don’t have that opportunity. I don’t know. It just made
me a little sad.
1/29/12
Tonight is my last night in India. I think I’ve spent today mentally preparing
to say goodbye. I went up to Chennai today to see Sarina’s mom, grandmother,
brother, and sister in law. It felt sort of like a transition back into America. They
lived in a very upscale apartment in Chennai and we talked about American things. I
could feel how different my mentality was with them that it has been for the last
month. I wish I could stay longer and it’s going to be hard to say goodbye but I’m
going to do it and I’m going to make it meaningful. I wrote letters to Preethi,
Sangeetha, the children, the SRED workers, and Fatima. I want these people to
remember me because I will always remember them. India has left an impact on my
heart. I’ve seen so many hard things here but for all of the heartbreaking stories I
have heard I’ve seen just as many stories of hope and agency. I haven’t nearly
processed everything yet and I don’t’ think I will for a while. I do know that India
has helped me. It has helped me break out of the numbness that last semester left in
my heart. It has made me feel free and happy and has motivated me to make the
choice to be that way. I have this theory that if you make a conscious choice about
something in your mind you can make it a reality. I don’t want to make Colby the
enemy anymore. I want to continue to challenge it and push it to be a better place,
but I can’t let myself fall back into the hell of last semester. I just can’t.
Going back to Colby is going to be a culture shock and I know I’m going t miss
my mentality and the atmosphere here very much. I’m probably going to be
overwhelmed by the wealth of Colby and the mentality that dominates there. But I
don’t want to hate it anymore. Colby is in itself a culture, just like Tamil Nadu and
all of these individual villages here. Even though I love the freeness and beauty I
have found here I have also seen a lot of hate and ugliness and brokenness
embedded into this culture. Colby is the same way. I want to embrace that ad love it
for its good things but not hate it for its bad things. I want to be the person I was
here. I want to be free and happy and inspired and kind and loving. I may be faced
with many challenges there and I may want to convert to the person I was last
semester but I wont let myself. I’m so lucky to have the opportunities I have and I
can truly make a change in this world somehow but I can’t do it in the state I was
last semester. If I can bring the mentality I have here back to Colby, not only will I
be happier, but my grades will improve and I will be more successful in my activism
efforts.
Even though I may be living half way across the world, I know that I now
have a home here in India and I feel so blessed to call the people I have met here my
friends.