Being an Ally
An ally is someone who is not a ‘member’ of a group of people facing discrimination, and yet they
support and advocate for the people of that group.
The importance of allies cannot be understated. The voice of an ally can often bridge the
comprehension gap that homophobic / transphobic people have. The voice of an ally can show
homophobic people that LGBTQ equality is not a “fringe” issue and that straight people care about this
issue as well. The voice of an ally can bring legitimacy to an argument because an ally is not part of the
marginalized group and has no personal gain for arguing for these issues. The voice of an ally can bring
LGBTQ people great relief, because it reminds LGBTQ individuals that this fight for LGBTQ equality does
not have to be fought alone.
For LGBTQ people it can be
challenging to constantly have to
defend and explain what it means
to be gay. LGBTQ people often
have to listen to hateful anti-gay or
anti-trans propaganda, hear
terrible stories in the news about
violence and intolerance, and deal
with discrimination or fear of
violence or emotional abuse. Any
argument or debate about LGBTQ
rights is intensely personal.
Perhaps LGBTQ opponents are
arguing for a particular “political”
point of view, but LGBTQ
individuals are arguing for their
rights. When a straight ally
advocates for LGBTQ individuals it
takes some of that weight off their shoulders. It means that LGBTQ people don’t have to do all the
explaining, all the teaching and all the work that it takes to deal with homophobia. Being an ally to an
LGBTQ person is one of the most meaningful and loving things you can do.
An ally can be anyone who genuinely supports LGBTQ equality (like a friend, family member or just a
good person) or an ally can be someone who is actively involved in the fight for civil and human rights.
Adapted from www.revelandriot.com
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Ten ways to be an Ally!
1. Participate in Ally training. Taking the time to learn some of the tricky terminology and issues
and challenges faced by many lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals can help you
have a better understanding of what it means to be an ally.
2. Think about what you say. If you don’t mean anything negative by saying “that’s so gay” or
calling someone a “homo” then use a different word to say what you really mean.
3. Check your assumptions. Don’t assume that someone straight just because they may be dating
someone of the opposite gender. Many bisexual individuals, and even some gay men and
lesbians, are in relationships with someone of a different gender.
4. Use gender inclusive language. If you are going to ask someone about relationships, steer away
from asking if the person has a boyfriend or a girlfriend and instead just ask if they are seeing
someone. Use the term “partner” or “significant other” instead of “boyfriend/girlfriend”.
5. Respect individual gender identity. If an individual was assigned a female gender marker at
birth but identifies instead as male, refer to that individual as “he” and use his chosen name. If
you are unsure about which pronouns to use, ask the individual which pronouns they wish to
use.
6. Interrupt offensive jokes and comments. It can sometimes seem like our society is over doing
the political correctness issues but language really does matter. You never know who might be
hurt or offended by these jokes and comments and if you intervene you can make a huge
difference in someone’s life.
7. Don’t assume that just because someone is gay, lesbian, or bisexual that they are
automatically attracted to you. Straight people are not attracted to every single person of the
opposite sex just because they are the opposite sex. Attraction is much more complicated than
that.
8. Check your own assumptions and biases. Don’t expect everyone to fall into neat categories.
There are many ways to be male, many ways to be female, and many ways in which sexual
orientation is expressed through identity. Not all gay men are effeminate and obsessed with
musicals…that would be a stereotype.
9. Educate yourself on LGBT history and culture. Learn about what heterosexual privilege is. What
are the legal and social issues and challenges that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender
individuals face?
10. Know your local resources. You don’t have to know all the answers. But it is very helpful to
know where to look for more information and resources. Visit the Gender Identity/Expression
and Sexual Orientation Resource Center in the Compton Union Building room 401. Also check
out the Human Rights Campaign website for lots of free downloadable resources at
www.hrc.org.
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LGBT IDENTITY DEVELOPMENT MODELS
D’Augelli’s Lifestage Model of the
Lesbian. Gay and Bisexual Identity
Development Process
Troiden’s Stages
for Formation of
Nonheterosexual
Identities
Cass’s Stage Model for Coming Out
STAGE 1:
Identity Confusion
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STAGE 2:
Identity Comparison
STAGE 3:
Identity Tolerance
STAGE 4:
Identity Acceptance
STAGE 5:
Identity Pride
STAGE 6:
Identity Synthesis
STAGE 1:
Sensitization
STAGE 2:
Identity Confusion
STAGE 3:
Identity Assumption
STAGE 4:
Commitment
PROCESS 1:
Exiting heterosexual identity
PROCESS 2: Developing a
personal
lesbian/gay/bisexual identity
PROCESS 3: Developing a
lesbian/gay/bisexual social
identity
PROCESS 4:
Becoming a
lesbian/gay/bisexual
offspring
PROCESS 5: Developing a
lesbian/gay/bisexual
intimacy status
PROCESS 6:
Entering a
lesbian/gay/bisexual
community
Tumultuous process of individual exploration of internal positive and
negative judgments of sexuality with heterosexuality viewed as preferred
state of being.
Involves the struggle with a sense of social isolation or alienation in
conjunction with a certain level of internal acceptance of a
nonheterosexual identity. Curiosity, confusion, and anxiety are typical
feelings within this stage and the main goal is to reduce discomfort.
Develops as the individual begins to realize that he or she is not the only
person with same sex feelings or experiences, a realization that comes with
some relief. During this stage, the individual accepts the probability of a
nonheterosexual identity and begins to seek out other LGBTQ individuals
in order to reduce isolation.
Occurs as the self-perception within the individual is one of a sexual
orientation that is decidedly not heterosexual but still exists with a
tenuous sense of self as an LGBTQ individual. The individual increases
contact with the LGBTQ community and begins to disclose his or her
sexual orientation to be few trusted heterosexual individuals.
In this stage, it is very important to the individual to be completely open
about sexual orientation and no longer hide his or her identity. This stage
often includes a certain level of distancing from heterosexual culture and
friends and largely focuses on LGBTQ issues and relationships.
Sexual orientation begins to become integrated into all aspects of an
individual’s identity so that it is just one facet of that individual’s being
but not the whole identity.
Individuals may identify that they have feelings of “differentness” and may
be unable to communicate what this means but will later identify this stage
as when they first became aware of same-gender feelings.
Individuals begin to identify their feelings and behaviors as homosexual.
Confusion is result of the individual’s initial belief that they are
heterosexual and the growing awareness of nonheterosexuality.
Reduced social isolation at this stage and increased contact with other gay,
lesbian, and bisexual individuals. Release of heterosexual identity.
Gay, lesbian, bisexual identity is integrated as a way of being rather than a
description of sexual behavior. Increased self-acceptance and happiness.
Recognition that one’s feelings and attractions are not heterosexual as
coming out to others as lesbian, gay or bisexual.
Challenging internalized misconceptions about what it means to be
lesbian, gay or bisexual and interacting in relationships with others who
can confirm ideas about what it means to be nonheterosexual.
Creating a support network of people who know and accept the
individual’s sexual orientation.
Coming out to parents and redefining the relationship after coming out.
This is a more complex process than achieving an intimate heterosexual
relationship because of the invisibility of lesbian/gay/bisexual individuals
in our society.
Making varying degrees of commitment to social and political action.
Devor’s Fourteen Stage Model of Transsexual Identity Formation
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STAGE 1:
Abiding anxiety
STAGE 2:
Identity confusion about
originally assigned gender
and sex
STAGE 3:
Identity comparison about
originally assigned gender
and sex
STAGE 4:
Discovery of transsexualism
or transgenderism
STAGE 5:
Identity Confusion about
transexualism or
transgenderism
STAGE 6:
Identity comparison about
transsexualism or
transgenderism
STATE 7:
Identity tolerance of
transsexual or transgender
identity
STAGE 8:
Delay before acceptance of
transsexual or transgender
identity
STAGE 9:
Acceptance of transsexual or
transgender identity
STAGE 10:
Delay before transition
STAGE 11:
Transition
STAGE 12:
Acceptance of post-transition
sex and gender identities
STAGE 13:
Integration
STAGE 14:
Pride
Unfocused discomfort with individual’s gender and sex.
Individual has first doubts about suitability of originally assigned gender
and sex.
Individual begins to seek and weigh alternative gender identities.
Learning that transsexualism exists.
First doubts about the authenticity of own transsexualism
Testing transsexual identity using transsexual reference group. Start to
disidentify with male or female and starts to identify as transsexed.
Identify as probably transsexual.
Waiting for changed circumstances. Looking for confirmation of
transsexual identity.
Transsexual identity established.
Transsexual identity deepens. Final disidentity as originally assigned
gender and sex. Anticipatory socialization.
Changing gender and sex.
Post-transition identity established. Successful post-transition living.
Transsexuality mostly invisible. Stigma management and identity
integration.
Openly transsexed.
Stanton Schnebly’s Sociocultural Proprioceptive Lens for Contextual Identity
History
Identity
Development
Sociocultural
Proprioception
Climate
Stanton Schnebly’s
Sociocultural Proprioceptive Lens
for Contextual Identity
Laws and
Policy
Understanding Sociocultural Proprioception
The interactions of individual experiences and perceptions of personal history, social climate, identity
development, and laws and policies all influence the process of individual positionality relative to the social
world. Existing literature and theories frame these concepts in linear models in which each body of
knowledge is separate even if there is reference to the connections and influence of the other bodies of
knowledge. In my use of sociocultural proprioception as an organizing theoretical framework for identity I
disrupt the existing linear models and offer a more integrated and fluid model in which development is
contextual and influenced by society and culture.
LENS 1:
History influences and shapes individual commitment to society based on
Personal history
how an individual does or does not feel connected.
LENS 2:
Climate is made up from the attitudes, behaviors, structural diversity, and
Social climate
social history of a particular culture or society as well as the combined
subjective, objective, and lived experiences of the individuals within that
society.
LENS 3:
Identity in the social sciences is a term that is used to refer to an
Identity Development
individual’s understanding of self as separate and distinct from others.
This concept of self is based on the comparison of self to others as
directly related to social interactions. History, social climate, and the
cultural rules and expectations of society all set the context for individual
identity development.
LENS 4:
While laws and policy are designed to protect and guide members of
Laws and policies
society, they can also be a way to regulate and exclude some individuals
from being fully recognized or valued members of society.
References
Cass, V. (1979). Homosexual identity formation: A theoretical model. Journal of Homosexuality,
4(3), 219-235.
D'Augelli, A. R. (1994). Lesbian and gay male development: Steps toward an analysis of
lesbians' and gay men's lives. In B. Greene and G. Herek (Eds. ), Contemporary perspectives in gay and lesbian psychology (Vol. 1, pp. 118-132). Newbury Park, CA: Sage.
Devor, A. H. (2004). Witnessing and mirroring: A fourteen stage model of transsexual identity formation. Journal of Gay and
Lesbian Psychotherapy, 8 (1/2), 41-67.
Stanton Schnebly, H. A. (2011). Writings from the margins: An examination of voice, presence, and agency. Doctoral
dissertation, Washington State University, Pullman.
Troiden, R. R. (1989). The formation of homosexual identities. Journal of Homosexuality, 17 (1/2), 43 – 73.
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IDENTITY PUZZLE ACTIVITY
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COMING OUT ACTIVITY
1. I’ve never heard you talk about anything like this before. You must just want some attention.
2. I always knew you were gay, the only one who didn’t know was you
3. I may not understand what you are going through or what you mean when you say this, but I
care about you no matter how you identify
4. This is really unexpected, are you sure you are really LGBT? Maybe you are just going through a
phase. Everyone in college experiments.
5. Well if you haven’t ever been with someone of the same sex, how do you know you are really
LGB?
6. I imagine that this can be kind of a scary or difficult thing to talk about, thank you so much for
trusting me.
7. How did it feel to tell me this?
8. You should have told me sooner. I can’t believe you have been keeping this a secret.
9. How can I support you in your coming out process?
10. How do you want me to handle this information?
11. Have you talked to your friends and family about this? I just want to know what kind of support
system you have.
12. Aren’t you worried about getting AIDS?
13. So, it sounds like you should really talk to a therapist about these feelings.
14. My relative is gay, so I know exactly what you are going through.
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MIX AND MATCH EXERCISE
1. Bisexual
A. A person who’s anatomical sex and gender identity are
congruent.
2. Transsexual
B.
A general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person
is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem
to fit the typical definitions of female or male
Transgender
C.
The external display of gender, through a combination of dress,
demeanor, social behavior, and other factors, generally measured
on a scale of masculinity and femininity
3.
4. Gender Expression
D. A term used to describe a person who identifies psychologically as
a gender other than the gender by which society may perceive
them.
5. Crossdresser
E.
A person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or
spiritual attraction for members of all gender
identities/expressions or biological sex
6. Heterosexism
F.
A term used to describe an individual, regardless of sexual
orientation, who chooses to dress in the “opposite” gender
clothing
7. Cisgender
G. Behavior that grants preferential treatment to heterosexual
people, reinforces the idea that heterosexuality is somehow
better or more “right” than queerness, or ignores/doesn’t
address queerness as existing
8. Ally
H. Someone who is attracted to both men and women. A person
who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual
attraction to people of their own gender as well as another
gender
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9. Pansexual
I.
A term used to describe a person who identifies psychologically as
a gender/sex other than the one to which they were assigned at
birth. This individual may use hormones and/or surgery to help
their physical body match their inner sense of gender/sex
10. Intersex
J.
A term used to describe someone who acknowledges and
appreciates differences in people and groups. This is someone
who is a safe and open person to talk to and someone who is
willing to stand up for the rights and well-being of others
SCENARIOS
ADMIN SCENARIO #1
A student comes to you for their advising appointment and as you are talking about their classes and
other school related topics it becomes clear that they want to tell you something. You ask the student
what is going on and the student tells you that they are gay. This is something that they have known for
quite a while but just haven’t told anyone. They tell you that they have been dating someone for the
past 4 months and this person just broke up with them and they just didn’t know where to turn.
ADMIN SCENARIO #2
A parent is touring campus, and notices the Ally card on your office door. She angrily says, “You can’t
use my tax dollars to promote homosexuality! Take that sign down now!” How could you respond?
ADMIN SCENARIO #3
After a full day of Orientation and campus tours a student comes to you as you are finishing up with
your advising sessions for the day. This student has been hanging back and waiting for a chance to talk
to you alone. This student shyly approaches you and tells you that they think they are transgender but
that they haven’t told their parents. They are currently assigned to a single gender residence hall but it
isn’t the gender that they identify with. They also want to know how to change their name. What do you
do?
ADMIN SCENARIO #4
You have been assisting students with the advising process when a frustrated student comes back after
not getting the classes he wanted. He says of the advising process: “That’s so gay. I tried to get my
classes for fall but the one I really wanted is full and I don’t have the right math level for the other class.
Every time I figure out a different class I can take my schedule gets all messed up and I’m not going to be
able to participate in the intramural football team because I have lab.” What do you do?
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Basic Glossary
A few notes about these definitions: Each of these definitions has been carefully researched and closely
analyzed from theoretical and practical perspectives for inclusiveness, cultural sensitivity, common
usage, and general appropriateness. We have done our best to represent the most popular uses of the
terms listed; however there may be some variation in definitions depending on location. Please note
that each person who uses any or all of these terms does so in a unique way (especially terms that are
used in the context of an identity label). Asking people for further information and/or clarification about
the way in which they use the terms is encouraged. This is especially recommended when using terms
which we have noted that can have a derogatory connotation.
Ag / Aggressive: A term used to describe a female-bodied and identified person who prefers presenting
as masculine. This term is most commonly used in urban communities of color.
Agender: Person who is internally ungendered or does not have a felt sense of gender identity.
Ally: A person who supports and respects sexual diversity, acts accordingly to challenge homophobic
and heterosexist remarks and behaviors, and is willing to explore and understand these forms of bias
within him or herself.
Androgyne / Androgynous Person appearing and/or identifying as neither man nor woman, presenting
a gender either mixed or neutral.
Asexual: Someone who does not experience sexual attraction towards other people, and who identifies
as asexual. May still have romantic, emotional, affectional, or relational attractions to other people.
Berdache - A generic term used to refer to a third gender person (woman-living-man). The term
‘berdache’ is generally rejected as inappropriate and offensive by Native Peoples because it is a term
that was assigned by European settlers to differently gendered Native Peoples. Appropriate terms vary
by tribe and include: ‘one-spirit’, ‘two-spirit’, and ‘wintke.’
Bicurious A curiosity about having sexual relations with a same gender/sex person.
Bigender: A person whose gender identity is a combination of male/man and female/woman.
Binding The process of flattening one’s breasts to have a more masculine or flat appearing chest.
Biphobia: Fear of, hatred of, or discomfort with people who are bisexual.
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Bisexual: A person (male or female) who is emotionally, romantically, sexually, affectionately, or
relationally attracted to both men and women, or who identifies as a member of the bisexual
community.
Bottom Surgery Surgery on the genitals designed to create a body in harmony with a person’s preferred
gender expression.
Butch A person who identifies themselves as masculine, whether it be physically, mentally or
emotionally. ‘Butch’ is sometimes used as a derogatory term for lesbians, but it can also be claimed as
an affirmative identity label.
Cisgender – A person who’s anatomical sex and gender identity are congruent.
Closet: Used as slang for the state of not publicizing one’s sexual identity, keeping it private, living an
outwardly heterosexual life while identifying as LGBT, or not being forthcoming about one’s identity. At
times, being in the closet also means not wanting to admit one’s sexual identity to oneself.
Coming Out: To disclose one sexual identity or gender identity. It can mean telling others or it can refer
to the time when a person comes out to him/herself by admitting that his/her identity is not what was
previously assumed. In some situations, a heterosexual may feel the need to come out about her or his
identity.
Crossdresser: Individual who dresses in the “opposite” gender clothing for a variety of reasons,
sometimes for sexual pleasure. Crossdressing is not indicative of sexual orientation. This term replaces
the sometimes pejorative term transvestite.
DSD / Disorder of Sex Development - A medical term used to refer to someone whose sex a doctor has
a difficult time categorizing as either male or female. A person whose combination of chromosomes,
gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, gonads, and/or genitals differs from one of the two expected
patterns. (See Also Intersexed Person)
Down Low - See 'In the Closet.’ Also referred to as ‘D/L.’
Drag - The performance of one or multiple genders theatrically.
Drag King A person who performs masculinity theatrically.
Drag Queen A person who performs femininity theatrically.
Dyke Derogatory term referring to a masculine lesbian. Sometimes adopted affirmatively by lesbians
(not necessarily masculine ones) to refer to themselves.
Fag Derogatory term referring to someone perceived as non-heteronormative.
Fag Hag A term primarily used to describe women who prefer the social company of gay men. While this
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term is claimed in an affirmative manner by some, it is largely regarded as derogatory.
Femme Feminine identified person of any gender/sex.
Femme Queen A term used to describe someone who is male bodied, but identifies as and expresses
feminine gender. Primarily used in urban communities, particularly in communities of color and the New
York City ballroom communities.
FTM/F2M: An abbreviation for female-to-male transsexual. This person most likely prefers masculine
pronouns.
Gay Male: A man who is emotionally, romantically, sexually, affectionately, or relationally attracted to
other men, or who identifies as a member of the gay community. At times, “gay” is used to refer to all
people, regardless of sex, who have their primary sexual and or romantic attractions to people of the
same sex. Lesbians and bisexuals may feel excluded by the term “gay.”
Gender: A binary sociological construct defining the collection of characteristics that are culturally
associated with maleness or femaleness; masculine and feminine make up gender just as male and
female comprise sex.
Gender Binary The idea that there are only two genders male/female or man/woman and that a person
must be strictly gendered as either/or. (See also 'Identity Sphere.’)
Gender Cues What human beings use to attempt to tell the gender/sex of another person. Examples
include hairstyle, gait, vocal inflection, body shape, facial hair, etc. Cues vary by culture.
Gender Diverse A person who either by nature or by choice does not conform to gender-based
expectations of society (e.g. transgender, transsexual, intersex, genderqueer, cross-dresser, etc.).
Preferable to 'gender variant’ because it does not imply a standard normativity.
Gender Expression A person’s choice and/or manipulation of 'gender cues.’ Gender expression may or
may not be congruent with or influenced by a person’s biological sex.
Gender Identity: How one perceives oneself – as a man, a woman, or otherwise.
Gender Normative See 'cisgender'.
Gender Role: Norms of expected behavior for men and women assigned primarily on the basis of
biological sex; a sociological construct which varies from culture to culture.
Genderqueer: A gender identity that rejects the notion that all genders can be described on the
masculine/feminine binary.
Gender Variant A synonym for gender diverse. 'Gender diverse’ is preferred to 'gender variant’ because
variance implies a standard normativity of gender.
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Genderfuck The idea of playing with 'gender cues’ to purposely confuse "standard” or stereotypical
gender expressions, usually through clothing.
Getting / Being Read How a person’s gender is perceived by a casual observer, based on gender cues /
expression. (e.g. a butch woman being perceived as a man). Sometimes refers to a transperson being
perceived as transgender, another gender than what they wish or chose to be perceived by, or as their
biological sex.
Hermaphrodite An out-of-date and offensive term for an intersexed person. (See'Intersexed Person’.)
Heteronormativity: Processes through which social institutions and policies reinforce the notion that
there are only two possibilities for sex, gender, and sexual attraction: male/masculine/attracted to
women and female/feminine/attracted to men.
Heterosexism: Norms and behaviors that result from the assumption that all people are or should be
heterosexual. This system of oppression assumes that heterosexuality is inherently normal and superior
and negates LBGTQ peoples’ lives and relationships.
Heterosexual: A person who is emotionally, romantically, sexually, affectionately, or relationally
attracted to members of the opposite sex. Often called a straight person.
Heterosexual Privilege Those benefits derived automatically by being heterosexual that are denied to
homosexuals and bisexuals. Also, the benefits homosexuals and bisexuals receive as a result of claiming
heterosexual identity or denying homosexual or bisexual identity.
HIV-phobia The irrational fear or hatred of persons living with HIV/AIDS.
Homophobia: Fear of, hatred of, or discomfort with people who love and sexually desire members of
the same sex. Homophobic reactions often lead to intolerance, bigotry, and violence against anyone not
acting within socio-cultural norms of heterosexuality. Because most LGBTQ people are raised in the
same society as heterosexuals, they learn the same beliefs and stereotypes prevalent in the dominant
society, leading to a phenomenon known as internalized homophobia.
Homosexual: The clinical term, coined in the field of psychology, for people with a same-sex sexual
attraction. The word is often associated with the idea that same-sex attractions are a mental disorder,
and is therefore offensive to some people.
In the Closet Refers to a homosexual, bisexual, transperson or intersex person who will not or cannot
disclose their sex, sexuality, sexual orientation or gender identity to their friends, family, co-workers, or
society. An intersex person may be closeted due to ignorance about their status since standard medical
practice is to 'correct,’ whenever possible, intersex conditions early in childhood and to hide the medical
history from the patient. There are varying degrees of being 'in the closet; for example, a person can be
out in their social life, but in the closet at work, or with their family. Also known as 'Downlow'.
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Intergender A person whose gender identity is between genders or a combination of genders.
Institutional Oppression Arrangements of a society used to benefit one group at the expense of another
through the use of language, media, education, religion, economics, etc.
Internalized Oppression The process by which a member of an oppressed group comes to accept and
live out the inaccurate stereotypes applied to the oppressed group.
Intersex: Term used for a variety of medical conditions in which a person is born with chromosomes,
genitalia, and/or secondary sexual characteristics that are inconsistent with the typical definition of a
male or female body. The term disorders of sex development (DSD) also describes these conditions.
Replaces the inaccurate term “hermaphrodite.”
LGBT: Stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. GLBT may also be used. At times, a Q will be
added for Queer and/or Questioning, an A for Ally, an I for Intersex and/or a TS for Two- Spirit.
Lesbian: A woman who is emotionally, romantically, sexually, affectionately, or relationally attracted to
other women, or someone who identifies as a member of the lesbian community. Bisexual women may
or may not feel included by this term.
Lifestyle: A word often used outside the LGBTQ community to describe life as an LGBTQ person, e.g.
“the homosexual lifestyle.” Many people find this word inappropriate because it trivializes identity,
implies that sexual orientation is a choice, and ignores the variety of lifestyles that LGBTQ people live.
Lipstick Lesbian Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender expression. Can be used in a positive
or a derogatory way, depending on who is using it. Is sometimes also used to refer to a lesbian who is
seen as automatically passing for heterosexual.
Metrosexual - First used in 1994 by British journalist Mark Simpson, who coined the term to refer to an
urban, heterosexual male with a strong aesthetic sense who spends a great deal of time and money on
his appearance and lifestyle. This term can be perceived as derogatory because it reinforces stereotypes
that all gay men are fashion-conscious and materialistic.
MSM: An abbreviation for men who have sex with men. This term emphasizes the behavior, rather than
the identities of the individuals involved.
MTF/ M2F: An abbreviation for male-to-female transsexual. This person most likely prefers feminine
pronouns.
Oppression The systematic subjugation of a group of people by another group with access to social
power, the result of which benefits one group over the other and is maintained by social beliefs and
practices.
Outing Involuntary disclosure of one’s sexual orientation, gender identity, or intersex status.
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Packing Wearing a phallic device on the groin and under clothing for any purposes including: (for
someone without a biological penis) the validation or confirmation of one’s masculine gender identity;
seduction; and/or sexual readiness (for one who likes to penetrate another during sexual intercourse).
Pangender A person whose gender identity is comprised of all or many gender expressions.
Pansexual: A person who is emotionally, romantically, sexually, affectionately, or relationally attracted
to people regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Use of the term usually signals a
repudiation of the concept of binary sexes (a concept implied by “bisexual”).
Pass: To represent one’s self as a member of a social group other than one’s own. For example, a lesbian
who passes for straight, or a biological man who is perceived to be a woman.
Polyamory Refers to having honest, usually non-possessive, relationships with multiple partners and can
include: open relationships, polyfidelity (which involves multiple romantic relationships with sexual
contact restricted to those), and sub-relationships (which denote distinguishing between a “primary"
relationship or relationships and various "secondary" relationships).
Prejudice A conscious or unconscious negative belief about a whole group of people and its individual
members.
Queer: Term describing people who have a non-normative gender identity, sexual orientation, or sexual
anatomy—includes lesbians, gay men, bisexual people, and transgender people. Since the term is
sometimes used as a slur, it has a negative connotation for some LGBT people; however, other people
have reclaimed it and are comfortable using it to describe themselves.
Questioning: The process of examining one’s sexual orientation and/or gender identity. Can be used as
an adjective.
Same-Gender Loving (SGL): How some African-Americans prefer to describe their sexual orientation,
seeing “gay” and “lesbian” as primarily white terms. “Same-sex loving” is also in use.
Sex: 1. A biological term dividing a species into male or female, usually on the basis of sex chromosomes
(XX = female, XY = male); hormone levels, secondary sex characteristics, and internal and external
genitalia may also be considered criteria. 2. Another term for sexual behavior or gratification. Sex is a
biological fact or a physical act.
Sexual Assignment Surgery (SAS) - Surgical treatment for DSD or intersex bodies to assign a male or
female sex, where such designation may not otherwise be clear. Historically, this has been performed
shortly after birth and kept from the person. SAS is still performed in some cases today. See
www.isna.org for more information.
Sex Identity How a person identifies physically: female, male, in between, beyond, or neither.
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Sexual Orientation: The direction of one’s sexual interest toward members of certain sexes. Can involve
fantasy, behavior, and self-identification; a person’s general makeup or alignment in terms of partner
attraction. Includes a same-sex orientation, male-female orientation, a bisexual orientation, or a
pansexual orientation.
Sexuality: The complex range of components which make us sexual beings; includes emotional, physical,
and sexual aspects, as well as self-identification (including sexual orientation and gender), behavioral
preferences and practices, fantasies, and feelings of affection and emotional affinity.
Stealth This term refers to when a person chooses to be secretive in the public sphere about their
gender history, either after transitioning or while successful passing. (Also referred to as 'going stealth’
or 'living in stealth mode’.)
Stereotype A preconceived or oversimplified generalization about an entire group of people without
regard for their individual differences. Though often negative, can also be complimentary. Even positive
stereotypes can have a negative impact, however, simply because they involve broad generalizations
that ignore individual realities.
Straight - Another term for heterosexual.
Straight-Acting A term usually applied to gay men who readily pass as heterosexual. The term implies
that there is a certain way that gay men should act that is significantly different from heterosexual men.
Straight-acting gay men are often looked down upon in the LGBTQ community for seemingly accessing
heterosexual privilege.
Stud - An African-American and/or Latina masculine lesbian. Also known as 'butch’ or 'aggressive’.
Third Gender: A term for those who belong to a category other than masculine or feminine. For
example, Native American two-spirit people, hijira in India, kathoeys in Thailand, and travestis in Brazil.
Top Surgery - This term usually refers to surgery for the construction of a male-type chest, but may also
refer to breast augmentation.
Trans* - An abbreviation that is sometimes used to refer to a gender diverse person. This use allows a
person to state a gender diverse identity without having to disclose hormonal or surgical
status/intentions. This term is sometimes used to refer to the gender diverse community as a whole.
Transandrogyny A gender diverse gender expression that does not have a prominent masculine or
feminine component.
Transfeminine A gender-variant gender expression that has a prominent feminine component.
Transgender A person who lives as a member of a gender other than that expected based on anatomical
sex. Sexual orientation varies and is not dependent on gender identity.
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Transgender (Trans) Community A loose category of people who transcend gender norms in a wide
variety of ways. The central ethic of this community is unconditional acceptance of individual exercise of
freedoms including gender and sexual identity and orientation.
Transmasculine - A gender-variant gender expression that has a prominent masculine component.
Transition This term is primarily used to refer to the process a gender diverse person undergoes when
changing their bodily appearance either to be more congruent with the gender/sex they feel themselves
to be and/or to be in harmony with their preferred gender expression.
Transman An identity label sometimes adopted by female-to-male transsexuals to signify that they are
men while still affirming their history as females. Also referred to as 'transguy(s).’
Transphobia The irrational fear of those who are gender diverse and/or the inability to deal with gender
ambiguity.
Transsexual A person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the one to which they
were assigned at birth. Transsexuals often wish to transform their bodies hormonally and surgically to
match their inner sense of gender/sex.
Transvestite Someone who dresses in clothing generally identified with the opposite gender/sex. While
the terms 'homosexual’ and 'transvestite’ have been used synonymously, they are in fact signify two
different groups. The majority of transvestites are heterosexual males who derive pleasure from
dressing in 'women’s clothing’. (The preferred term is 'cross-dresser,’ but the term 'transvestite’ is still
used in a positive sense in the UK.)
Transwoman- An identity label sometimes adopted by male-to-female transsexuals to signify that they
are women while still affirming their history as males.
Two-Spirit: Contemporary term chosen to describe Native American and Canadian First Nation people
who identify with a third gender, implying a masculine and a feminine spirit in one body. Replaces the
offensive term berdache.
WSW: An abbreviation for women who have sex with women. This term emphasizes the behavior,
rather than the identities of the individuals involved.
Ze / Hir Alternate pronouns that are gender neutral and preferred by some gender diverse persons.
Pronounced /zee/ and /here,/ they replace ‘he’ and ‘she’ and ‘his’ and ‘hers’, respectively.
No glossary could encompass the range of identities and terms that are used within LGBTQA
communities. If you hear a term you don’t recognize, or feel like someone is using a term in a new way,
ask the individual what the term means to him or her.
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