Student’s name: ____________________
Period: ______
Date: ______________________
Descriptive Essay Exploration
Mr. Cleon M. McLean
Department of English
Ontario High School
Prompt: Describe an important experience that has shaped the person you have become.
Steps for Introductory Paragraph
1. Use an anecdote (short, short story) as a hook
2. Highlight the lesson from the anecdote and
connect the lesson to your own “important
experience”
3. THESIS STATEMENT=
Subject + 2 opinions
Subject=About what you are writing your
essay (important experience)
Opinions= 2 (This is how many body
paragraphs you will write) reasons why your
experience was an “important” experience
Steps for Body Paragraphs
1. Transitional phrase
2. State the first reason (from
the thesis statement) why
the experience was
“important”
3. Uses sensory details (touch,
taste, smell, hear, and see),
space-relations,
positioning/ordering of
things and people
4. Describe what feels were
brought about by the
sensory details. To describe
feelings, use similes and
metaphors.
Steps for Concluding Paragraph
1. Transitional phrase
Example of Introductory Paragraph
Imagine for a moment sitting on a bench in the quad at a
local high school. There are hundreds of students
hustling and bustling to class or to lunch. However, no
one in this crowd notices you; you feel terribly alone like
a strand of hair drifting through the air. It is not easy to
feel alone; it is not easy being alive yet invisible. On
Easter Sunday, April 8th, 2012, my neighbor Alcott
Alvarez invited me to his church, Our Lady of the
Angels in Los Angeles. When we arrived, what I saw
and heard in the church changed my life, because from
that afternoon onwards I no longer felt invisible to the
world.
Example of a Body Paragraph
To begin, what I saw at Our Lady of Angels Church in Los Angeles on
April 8th changed my life. Namely, the wooden exteriors of the church rose
to the sky almost as if they were stairways to heaven. Moreover, the serene
look of the six-feet-tall guardian angel stationed above the two iron doors
of the church created a contrast between softness and hardness. This
contrast created a sort of balance that ushered me into the church. Inside,
the church appeared almost as big as two football fields, especially because
it had about two hundred Mahogany wooden pews—each one was about
12 feet in length. On either side of the church were four thick columns,
each one holding an electric candle. These candles flooded the room with a
soft yellow light. Even more, 20 feet above the altar were two stained glass
windows which were fitted just so, as if they were heaven’s eyes looking
down on the congregation. The gigantic Easter bonfire outside of the
church shot up flames that licked the stained glass windows, causing the
windows to send a rainbow of light into the church, creating a sublime
atmosphere. This was the first time I had stepped foot into a church, and I
felt enraptured, especially because the play of lights was not shining through
me, but shining on me. I felt like I was being seen from both heaven and
earth.
Example of a Concluding Paragraph
In full picture, my first visit to Our Lady of the Angels Church showed me
that God’s Church was not just a physical building to be admired, but a
2. Restate thesis statement
place where I was not invisible to Him and others. Singing and praying
with Alcott and the rest of the congregation made me feel like I was a gem
3. Say what larger meaning has in a necklace on which God was the pendant. From that Sunday afternoon
come from the restated onwards, no longer did I feel alone and invisible, for it was then that I
thesis statement
knew that I was a child of God. Since that day, I have welcomed God into
my heart as my Lord and Savior, and my heart is now His church.
Student’s name: ____________________
Period: ______
Date: ______________________
Mr. Cleon M. McLean
Department of English
Ontario High School