Pastor Terry Plocher
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This guide was created as part of the “Facing
death with hope” sermon series. It was created to
answer questions people had in November 2012
and uses information that was current at that
time. It is, however, a new document in a
preliminary form. Consider it a first draft.
Contact Pastor Terry with suggestions, updates,
or questions.
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We Believe
Christians believe in Jesus Christ whose bodily
death and resurrection has made possible life
everlasting. Christians view death as another step in
our pilgrimage. It is the occasion when those who
die in the Lord move from this world to the realm of
life eternal lived with the Lord, where death, loss,
mourning, crying and pain no longer exist (Rev.
21:4). Yet Christians also experience death as a
time of loss when sorrow, grief and bereavement
are both natural and appropriate. These two
convictions guide the church in its ministry to
anyone who has lost a loved one to death, affirming
with both joy and tears the promise and hope of the
Gospel.
Grieving in a community of hope
Christians do not bear grief alone, but are sustained
by the power of the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, and
are to be surrounded by the support, consolation and
care of the church. Pastors and other caregivers
have been trained to minister to you and provide
support in times of loss. We welcome the privilege
of ministering to you on such occasions, and stand
ready to assist you in times of need. When death
occurs, your pastor should be informed as soon as
possible. This allows the pastor to provide
appropriate pastoral care and assist in making
arrangements for the funeral.
The funeral
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The funeral traditionally consists of several
movements.
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Planning- Planning for the funeral is an
important process. This booklet does not do
all the planning for a family. It makes
suggestions. While we do not wish to
burden families with a thousand decisions,
we don’t want to rob them of the privilege
of planning a service for their loved one.
This is usually done with the funeral director
and pastor within 12-24 hours following a
death.
Visitation- Visitation is important for two
reasons. If the body is present it is a reality
check. Especially when a death has been
sudden we are very good at denying both the
death and our pain. The presence of the
body brings reality to the death and to our
grief
The visitation is also important as a time to
be surrounded by family and friends. It is a
reminder that we do not live alone. We do
not die alone (even if no one is present we
are part of a community that will never be
the same without us), and we do not grieve
alone.
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Funeral service- For the Christian
community the funeral service is first and
foremost a service of Christian worship.
Yes, we want to remember, and honor the
deceased. Yes, we want to comfort the
grieving family. However we also believe
that we “whether we live or die we are in
Christ.” Therefore worship is a natural
response to a death, and worship is a great
resource in our grief. We believe that the
Service of Death and Resurrection provides
a context where a loved one can be
remembered and honored, worshippers can
be comforted, and God can be worshipped.
The funeral service can be held in any public
gathering place, but for baptized Christians
it is most appropriately held in the sanctuary
of the church. This space is familiar and
designed for worship. It is rich with the
symbols of our faith.
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Procession- the procession is not just useful
for getting the body and the mourners to the
cemetery. The procession reminds us that
death is a journey. We are sending our
loved one on their final journey, the journey
from this life to the next.
Dinner- The dinner is not required, but
provides a great opportunity for friends to
gather, remember, and support one another.
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The funeral director
The pastor is trained and dedicated to providing
pastoral care for persons who are dying or grieving
and planning and leading worship. There are many
other tasks for which neither the pastor nor the
family is usually equipped or prepared.
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Transporting and caring for the deceased
Local laws regarding what must happen at
the time of death
Preparing and publishing obituaries
Arranging for the opening and closing of the
grave
There are also many details that the funeral director
happily manages so that we do not have to.
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Purchasing the casket or urn
Displaying the body
Arranging flowers
Creating memory boards
Hosting at the various public events
Communicating with medical and law
enforcement authorities.
Filing death certificates
And much more
The roles of the pastor and funeral directors are
different and both are important to most families at
the time of a death. We work as a team, but it is
important to understand our different roles.
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FAQ
Is cremation consistent with Christian teaching?
Yes. Although the Christian community has
traditionally opposed cremation, that is no longer
the case. Cremation only hastens what embalming
delays: “We are dust and to dust we shall return.”
(Gen. 3:19).
What is the difference between a funeral and
memorial service? Simply put: the body of the
deceased is at a funeral service. There is no body at
a memorial service. In either case, the church views
each as an opportunity to proclaim God’s death
defeating acts in Christ as we remember all that
God has given us in the life of our loved one.
Can a Christian donate their organs to others or
their bodies to science? Yes you can.. There is
nothing in our church's doctrine prohibiting this
gift. On the contrary, the Lord enthusiastically
approves the laying down of one's life for his
friends (John 15:13). He would surely welcome the
sharing of organs no longer needed with those
whose lives could be prolonged and saved and/or
the gift of our bodies to further medical science.
Check with the Department of Motor Vehicles for
the process to make your decision known to others.
Must one be a member of the Church to have a
funeral or a memorial service at the church? No.
This ministry of the church and its pastor are open
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to all who profess faith in Jesus Christ, whether a
member of the congregation or not.
Must one be a Christian to have a funeral or a
memorial service at the church? No. Whether
baptized or not, both the deceased and the family
are treasured children of a gracious and loving God.
This is an opportunity to show that love. All
services provided by the church will, however, be
Christian. It is not appropriate for the church to
provide a secular or non-Christian service.
How soon and at what time should the service
be? Funeral services are generally held within three
to seven days following death, thereby allowing
appropriate time for family members and friends to
gather for the service. Memorial services can be
held at any time. If a funeral is to be followed by a
burial that same day, the schedule of the cemetery
workers dictates that the service be held in the
morning or very early afternoon. Otherwise, the
service should be scheduled for a time that will
allow for the greatest number of people to attend.
Saturday and Sunday services will depend on the
policies of the cemetery and availability of
cemetery personnel, and will incur additional
charges. The funeral cannot be scheduled without
first consulting both the funeral director and the
pastor. This will usually be done at the planning
meeting which usually happens 12-24 hours after a
death.
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What fees are associated with the service? There
are no fees for the use of the church building.
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There is a janitorial fee.
Musicians and vocalists need to be paid for
their services.
There is a minimum donation to the UMW
for serving the lunch and families pay for
some of the food.
.It is customary to give the pastor an
honorarium for his or her services. For
members of the church, pastoral services at
the time of a funeral are part of the church’s
ministry to its members. Those honoraria
are discretionary. The pastor or funeral
director can answer any more specific
questions you might have.
All of these costs can be paid through your funeral
director.
What about music? Our organist is very willing to
play for funerals. After consulting with our organist,
other musicians may also be welcome. Vocalists
also add a great deal to a funeral service when they
are available. Usually a service will contain one or
two hymns. A partial list of hymns is provided in
the back of this guide.
Secular music is welcome if it doesn’t have a
message that is in contradiction with the Christian
message. The pastor decides on a case by case
basis.
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Can anyone besides the pastor speak? The
resident pastor presides at funerals. It is wonderful
to have friends or family members also speak. It is
harder than most people think. For that reason all
speakers to be prepared. Each speaker must submit
a written manuscript to the pastor early enough that
it can be reviewed and discussed prior to the
service. .
Do we have to have scripture and a sermon? Yes.
The funeral is a worship service in which scripture
will be read and Christian hope will be proclaimed.
I am open to creative alternative ways to
accomplish that purpose.
What about flowers? Flowers are completely at
the discretion of the family and are welcome.
Flowers are expensive and some families prefer a
few flowers and/or name a memorial in lieu of
flowers.
Can we have a visitation if the loved one is
cremated? Yes. It is encouraged. The visitation is
really for the friends to gather around the family
and offer love and support. The visitation often
draws more people than the service.
Even when cremation is chosen there are ways to
provide an opportunity to have a visitation with or
without a body present. Talk to your funeral
director about your options.
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Funeral guide
After it is completed remove this page and give it to someone you
trust to keep it for you. If you would like we can file it in the
church office.
Remember there are many more decisions to be made for a
funeral. Please make those arrangements with the funeral
director.
“Here are some things that are important to “me…
Full Name
__________________________________________
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If you have a nickname, what name do you want
the pastor to use in the service?
_________________
Will your body be present at the service? _____
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Will ashes be present? _______
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Would you like the casket open for a last
opportunity to view as people enter the church,
or closed as people arrive? _______
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Are there special music or hymn selections you
would like played just before the service starts?
_____________________________________
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
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Are there scriptures that are special to you that
you would like your family and the pastor to
know about?
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Are there hymns that you like to hear at funerals
that you would like played or sung?
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Is there non-religious music that you would like
to consider?
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______________________________________
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Are there poems or readings you would like to
suggest? (Please attach them to this folder.)
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Is there anyone whom you would like to speak
at your service?
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If there is to be a burial, where will it be?
_______________________________________
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Is there anything that is sometimes done at
funerals that you prefer not be done?
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
_______________________________________
_______________________________
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Is there anything you want the pastor to know
about you or anything else you want to tell
them? (Please use the back side)
Thank you for completing this funeral
service guide. May God bless you with a
long and happy life, and may you find God’s
arms wide open when this life is complete.
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Who is responsible for producing the order of
worship or program? The funeral director
produces the pamphlet you receive as you enter the
door. The order of worship is a separate item
that is prepared by the pastor and provided to
people who need it. Copies of the service are also
left with the family so they can share it with those
who were not able to attend.
Does the church provide pallbearers? No. The
family selects them
Who is responsible for funeral notices or an
obituary? The funeral director will be able to assist
with these contacts.
Who provides the guest book? The funeral
director.
Do we have to have a luncheon? No. But the
lunch is a wonderful place for family and friends to
gather informally and prepare to go their separate
directions. There are additional costs associated
with the lunch.
What about going to the cemetery? If you use a
local cemetery is it best to go the cemetery
immediately after the service in the building
because the grave side is really the conclusion to
that service. If the cemetery is further away, it is
best to have the lunch first.
Can we have military or fraternal rites? Yes.
Fraternal rites are held in locations other than the
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church at a separate time from the funeral. Military
rites can be provided after the committal service for
those who have served. Your funeral director can
arrange this for you.
May the family designate its desire for memorial
gifts? Of course many families direct memorials to
charitable causes. Some or all memorials can be
directed to the church. The family may provide
some general direction for the use of memorials.
The memorial committee takes that into account
and makes suggestions to the families.
An alternative is the Endowment fund where the
principal will be invested. The income derived from
that principal will be used to further the ministry of
the church. Ask the pastor for details.
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Possible Scriptures for funerals
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Genesis 15:15 Abraham's death
Genesis 49:1, 29–33; 50:1–2, 12–14Jacob's
death and Joseph's response
Exodus 14:5 –14, 19–31Israel's deliverance
Exodus 15 (UMH 135) Canticle of Moses and
Miriam
Joshua 3:14 –4:7Crossing over Jordan
Job 1:21 Job's faith
Job 14:1 –12aWe are of few days.
Job 19:25 –27My Redeemer lives.
Proverbs 31:10 –13, 19–20, 30–31A good
woman
Isaiah 25:1, 6–9God will swallow up death.
Isaiah 26:1 –4, 19Your dead shall live.
Isaiah 35:1 –6, 10Zion restored
ISAIAH 40:28–31 they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 41:8 –10, 13Do not fear.
Isaiah 43:1 –3a, 5–7, 13,15, 18–19, 25; 44:6,
8aGod will deliver.
Isaiah 55:1 –3, 6–13Hymn of joy
Isaiah 57:14 –19Poem of consolation
Isaiah 61:1 –4, 10–11The Spirit of the Lord is
upon me.
Isaiah 66:10 –13As a mother comforts, so does
God.
Ezekiel 34:11 –16Shepherd of Israel
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Ezekiel 37:1 –14, 21–28These bones can live.
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Micah 6:6 –8What does the Lord require?
Zephaniah 3:16 –20Restoration of Israel
PSALM 23 *
Psalm 27 (UMH 758)Devotion and deliverance
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Psalm 34 (UMH 769)Thanksgiving for
deliverance
Psalm 40 (UMH 774)Thanksgiving for
deliverance
Psalm 71 (UMH 794)Deliverance from evil
Psalm 77 (UMH 798)Deliverance from trouble
Psalm 84 (UMH 804)How lovely is your
dwelling place.
Psalm 118 (UMH 839)Thanksgiving for
deliverance
Psalm 126 (UMH 847)Prayer for deliverance
PSALM 130 Out of the depths I cry unto thee,
O Lord!
Psalm 143 (UMH 856)Prayer for deliverance
Matthew 5:1 –12The Beatitudes
Matthew 6:19 –21Do not lay up treasures on
earth.
Matthew 11:25 –30Come to me all who labor.
Matthew 25:31 –46As you did it to one of the
least
Matthew 28:1 –10, 16–20Jesus' resurrection: Go
make disciples.
Mark 16:1 –8The open tomb: Jesus goes before
you.
Luke 1:67 –75 (UMH 208)Canticle of Zechariah
Luke 12:22 –40Do not be anxious; be ready.
Luke 24:1 –12The empty tomb
Luke 24:13 –35Jesus at Emmaus
John 3:13 –17God's gift of eternal life
John 5:19 –29Whoever hears and believes has
life.
John 6:30 –40, 47–51Jesus the bread of life
John 10:1 –18, 27–30Jesus the Good Shepherd
John 11:1 –4, 20–27, 32–35, 38–44The raising
of Lazarus
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John 12:20 –36Unless a grain of wheat dies
JOHN 14:1–4, 18–19, 25–27 [Jesus said,] "Do
not let your hearts be troubled.
John 15:1 –17The vine and the branches
John 16:12 –22, 33Sorrow becomes joy.
John 20Jesus' resurrection
Acts 10:34 –43Peter's sermon on Jesus'
resurrection
Romans 5:1 –11, 17–21Peace with God through
faith
Romans 6:3 –11Dying and rising with Christ
ROMANS 8:1–2, 11, 14, 17–18, 28, 31–32, 35–
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There is therefore now no condemnation for
those who are in Christ Jesus.
Romans 14:7 –9Christ, Lord of the dead and the
living
1 CORINTHIANS 15:1–2a, 12, 16–18, 20, 35–
38 a, 42b –44, 54–55, 57)For if the dead are not
raised, then Christ has not been raised.
2 Corinthians 5:1 –11a, 14–20Away from the
body, at home in the Lord
2 Corinthians 4:5 –18Glory in God
Ephesians 3:14 –21Bow before God; know the
love of Christ.
Ephesians 1:15 –23; 2:1–10Alive in Christ
Philippians 3:7 –21The power of Christ's
resurrection
Colossians 3:1 –17Raised with Christ
1 Thessalonians 4:13 –5:11Concerning those
who sleep
2 Timothy 4:6 –8, 17–18I have fought the good
fight.
Hebrews 11–12The saints of God
1 John 3:1 –3We shall be like God.
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1 Peter 1:3 –9, 13, 21–25Blessed by God
Revelation 7:2 –3, 9–17The multitude of the
redeemed
Revelation 14:1 –3, 6–7, 12–13Blessed are the
dead in the Lord.
REVELATION 21:1–7Then I saw a new heaven
and a new earth;
Psalm 42 (UMH 777)As a deer longs for
flowing streams
Psalm 43 (UMH 778)You are the God in whom
I take refuge.
Psalm 46 (UMH 780)God is our refuge and
strength.
Psalm 90 (UMH 809)From everlasting to
everlasting
Psalm 91 (UMH 810)My God in whom I trust
Psalm 103 (UMH 824)Bless the Lord, O my
soul.
Psalm 116 (UMH 837)I will lift up the cup of
salvation.
Psalm 121 (UMH 844)I lift up my eyes to the
hills.
Psalm 139 (UMH 854)O Lord, you have
searched me.
Psalm 145 (UMH 857)The Lord is gracious and
merciful.
Psalm 146 (UMH 858)Praise the Lord, O my
soul.
Canticle of Hope (UMH 734)God shall wipe
away all our tears.
Canticle of Remembrance (UMH 652)The souls
of the righteous
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Hymn ideas for funerals
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UMH See hymns 700–707 Death and
Eternal Life
and 708–712 Communion of the Saints.
Also see suggestions under Eternal Life and
Funerals and Memorial Services in UMH
and the following:
163Ask Ye What Great Thing I Know
557Blest Be the Tie That Binds
141Children of the Heavenly Father
318Christ Is Alive
407Close to Thee
709Come, Let Us Join Our Friends Above
510Come, Ye Disconsolate
315Come, Ye Faithful, Raise the Strain
710Faith of Our Fathers
129Give to the Winds Thy Fears
654How Blest Are They (for an older adult)
77How Great Thou Art 103Immortal,
Invisible, God Only Wise
314In the Garden
488Jesus, Remember Me
133Leaning on the Everlasting Arms
59Mil Voces Para Celebrar
520Nobody Knows the Trouble I See
57O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing
143On Eagle's Wings 733Marching to Zion
368My Hope Is Built
356Pues Si Vivimos (When We Are Living)
66Praise, My Soul, the King of Heaven
(stanzas 3, 4)
491Remember Me 523Saranam, Saranam
(Refuge)
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666Shalom to You
512Stand By Me
704Steal Away to Jesus
496Sweet Hour of Prayer
703Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
395Take Time to Be Holy
545The Church's One Foundation (stanzas
1, 5)
546The Church's One Foundation (stanzas
1, 5)
303The Day of Resurrection
116The God of Abraham Praise
504The Old Rugged Cross
480O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go
247O Morning Star, How Fair and Bright
(stanza 3)
518O Thou, in Whose Presence
184Of the Father's Love Begotten
308Thine Be the Glory
383This Is a Day of New Beginnings
153Thou Hidden Source of Calm Repose
322Up from the Grave He Arose
526What a Friend We Have in Jesus See
also: Beloved, Now We Are the Saints of
God (Hymn 219).
*I am grateful to the Acton Congregational church
for parts of this guide.
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