Year 10 – Essay writing
You will be writing an essay on the following:
Title: Foxconn and Apple have recently been criticized for their workplace conditions
in factories in Mainland China. Discuss the reasons for these criticisms, and evaluate
the effectiveness of their response.
Before you begin writing we will be looking closely at the features of this type of
essay and completing some language work.
A. Working on the model essay – internet work
Go to my wiki and click on Study Skills. Open the website on academic writing.
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Click on Question Analysis under Academic Writing and do the on-line
exercises.
Click on Sample essay and complete the exercises
Click on Beginner paragraphs and complete the exercises
Click on Perfecting paragraphs and complete the exercises
Click on Introduction paragraphs
Click on Conclusion paragraphs
Click on Academic style
Give a brief summary of what you have learned about writing an academic essay.
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Model Academic Essay
Discuss why assignment essays are common assessment tasks in
undergraduate tertiary coursework, and evaluate the effectiveness of
assignments as an avenue for learning.
Introduction
Assignment essays are developed from set questions that give students a period
of time to research a topic and produce their answer with references to their
sources of information. While there are some disadvantages with using
assignment essays as an assessment tool, there are sound educational
purposes underpinning this practice. This essay examines the reasons why
assignment essays are beneficial for student learning and considers some of the
problems with this method of assessment.
Body paragraph 1
Assignment essay tasks are set to assist students to develop mastery of their
study subject. Firstly, assignment tasks enhance understandings about subject
matter. Yang and Baker (2005) reason that “to master your learning materials
and extend your understandings, you need to write about the meanings you gain
from your research” (p1). Secondly, research (Jinx, 2004; Zapper, 2006) clearly
demonstrates that students learn the writing conventions of a subject area while
they are researching, reading and writing in their discipline. This activity helps
them to “crack the code” of the discipline (Bloggs, 2003, p44). Thus, students
are learning subject matter and how to write in that disciplinary area by
researching and writing assignment essays.
Body paragraph 2
Using assignment essays for assessment supports student learning better than
the traditional examination system. It is considered that course-work assignment
essays can lessen the extreme stress experienced by some students over
‘sudden-death’ end of semester examinations:
“If we insist that all students write about everything they have learned in their
study courses at the same time and in the same place (e.g. in examinations), we
are not giving all of our students equal opportunities. Some students are not
daunted by the exam experience while others suffer ‘exam nerves’ and perform
at the lowest level of their capabilities. (Wonderland University, 2006, p4)”
Additionally, Jones et.al.(2004, p36-37) propose that assignment essays can be
used to assess student learning mid-course and so provide them with helpful
feedback before they are subjected to the exam experience. Exams only provide
students with a mark rather than specific feedback on their progress. Therefore,
setting assignment essays for a substantial part of student assessment is a much
fairer approach than on-off examination.
Body paragraph 3
As an assessment tool, assignment essays have some disadvantages for
lecturers and students. It has been found that assignment essays consume a
great deal of staff time and money to mark and student time to prepare (Sankey
and Liger, 2005, p192). A consequence of this is that feedback to students is
frequently delayed, and this is much less useful to students than rapid feedback
(p294). It is partly because of these disadvantages of time and expense that
other assessments such as multiple-choice tests and short answer questions
have an enduring place in the tertiary learning.
Conclusion
To conclude, it seems that assignment essays continue to have a prominent role
in tertiary education as an assessment tool. This is mainly because they are very
effective in developing knowledge and writing skills for subject areas. Also,
assignment essays can be less stressful than examinations as they allow
students to show their understanding of content in less pressured circumstances.
On the other hand, the time consuming nature of writing and marking essays
points to some disadvantages that also need to be considered. The weight of
evidence, however, supports the writing of assignment essays for student
assessment because this approach has such positive and proven effects for
improved student learning.
References – see website for layout
B. Language Work – The structure of the academic essay
We will be looking at a number of language features in the model text. These
include: Conjunctions, sentence structure and nouns
Focus on Conjunctions
Table of conjunctions
Logical relations Conjunctions
that function to
organize the text
Additive
Comparative/
Contrast
Conjunctions
that join either
paragraphs or
sentences
Transition
Transition
Rhetorical
Cohesive
conjunctions
conjunctions
Moreover, In
Or
addition,
Moreover,
Alternatively,
In addition to
Furthermore,
Furthermore
Additionally,
Besides this
In addition,
Additionally,
That is,
Likewise,
On the other hand, In contrast,
Instead,
However,
Nevertheless
Similarly
Temporal
At the same time,
Finally, At first
Last of all,
Meanwhile,
Throughout
Previously,
First of all,
Secondly,
Next
Then
Lastly
Finally,
Consequential
To this end,
In this way,
As a result,
As a consequence
To this end,
Otherwise,
Therefore,
Thus,
As a result,
Since
Consequently,
Example
For example,
For example,
Conjunctions that join
clauses to make sentences
Linking
Binding
Conjunctions
and
or
too
Besides
If not…then
Both….and
But
not
only….but
Like, as, as if,
whereas,
except that
Although
Even though
Even if
In spite of
and
While, when,
meanwhile before,
then
as long as
After,
so
so that, so as
in case
if,
even if
unless
because,
for
as
since
by
thereby
for instance,
For instance,
Summing up
For instance
for example,
such as
In conclusion,
To sum up,
In summary,
To this end,
Identify the following examples of conjunctions in the text
i.
ii.
iii.
iv.
Cohesive conjunction that joins sentences - red
Binding conjunctions to join clauses in a sentence - blue
Linking conjunctions to join clauses in a sentence - green
Rhetorical conjunction – organize the text - yellow
Exercises
Complete the following exercises with an appropriate conjunction from the
list given
One – extract from The Sporting Spirit – George Orwell
Choose from
even if,
if
when
I am always amazed ________ I hear people saying that sport creates goodwill
between the nations, and that ______ only the common people of the world could
meet one another at football or cricket, they would have no inclination to meet on
the battlefield. ___________ one didn’t know from concrete examples (the 1936
Olympic Games, for instance) that international sporting contests lead to orgies of
hatred, one could deduce it from general principles.
Two
Choose from: Consequently, Finally,
When,
First of all,
too,
As,
Furthermore,
a. There is much that is undesirable about city life. _____________, people are cut away
from nature and forget about the simple pleasures in life. _______________, work and
travelling to work take up most of their time.
b. Controls should be exercised over what they read or see. Many adults, ________,
are not able to think clearly about right and wrong. ______________, I think, censorship
is necessary for everybody.
c. _________ children are young, they need plenty of love and care. ______ they grow
older, they need someone to be there to help with their school work. ____________
when they are teenagers, they need kind and sympathetic treatment at home.
Three
Recognizing kinds of logical orders (p34-36)
C Language : focus on sentence structure and nouns
1. Identifying the linguistic features of the sentence
Circumstance Participant
Exams
As an
assessment
tool
Process
Participant
only provide
students
Setting
is
assignment
essays for a
substantial part
of student
assessment
assignment
have
essays
2. Identifying the features of the Participant
Participant
Pre-modifier
Circumstance
Who, where,
how, why,
with a mark
rather than
specific
feedback on
their progress.
a much fairer
approach than
on-off
examination.
Some
disadvantages
for lectures
and students.
Deitic
Pointer
Numeral
Describer
Classifier
setting
assignment
a
much
fairer
essays
approach
assignment
3.
Head or key
noun
Exams
students
Qualifier
with a mark
rather than
specific
feedback on
their
progress.
for a
substantial
part of
student
assessment
than on-off
examination
essays
i. Practice in identifying Participant, Process and Participant/Circumstance
Look at the sentence taken from the last paragraph of the model essay. Decide
where you would insert the relevant structures into the table.
Ii. Put the relevant elements of the Participant into the correct column in the
second table.
……the time consuming nature of writing and marking essays points to some
disadvantages that also need to be considered.
Participant
Process
Participant
Participant
Pre-modifier
Deitic
Numeral
Pointer
Describer
Classifier
Head or key
noun
Qualifier
.
D Practice
Complete the following exercises
1.
2.
Conjunctions between paragraphs. Complete the model
Complete the Practice 5 exercise. You only need to do parts B and C
E.
Begin to work on your essay.