LINE-EDITING COMMENTS
A Sampler
by David G Sharpe
Department of English
Ohio University
METHOD
>>keep a catalog like this open in Word beside the document receiving
feedback
>>find entries by Ctrl-F (find) from anywhere in list, enter search string
>>add new entries by entering it in Auto-Correct in edited document,
switch to this list, insert two lines, type keyword without “=", use shortcut
to add full entry, then add = to keyword
SAMPLE ENTRIES
Here’s a continuous extract, to indicate how the catalog can work.
=argu
[[<<effective argumentation]]
=ask
[[<<most effective if asked as a direct question]]
=assoc
[[<<this word may not have the best associations – this implies >> -- try>>]]
=auth
[[<<weakens your authority – suggests that you think " "]]
=author
[[<<author intrusion – this is commentary that takes the reader outside of the
content]]
=awkw
[[<<awkward, try>>]]
=back
[[<<this moves too far ahead in time, and then has to back-track to the event]]
=bas
[[<<watch out for basic grammar errors]]
=be
[[<<verbs of “being” say only that something exists – action verbs show it exists,
but with more energy – we are perceptually more interested in action than
existence]]
=before
[[<<moved to present the general overview before the specifics]]
=began
[[<<”begin/began” postpones the core action]]
=begin
[[<<unnecessary delay – “begins to” is expressed by doing the action itself]]
=believe
[[<<shown by the fact that you are saying it]]
=best
[[<<use only one (choose the best)]]
=blank
[[a blank line between paragraphs (white space) helps the reader see the units of
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LINE-EDITING COMMENTS
David G Sharpe
A Sampler
your thought]]
=blue
[[<<for a better map of what's to come, matching the later development]]
=break
[[<<break up overly long paragraphs into smaller coherent units]]
=breakemp
[[<<use a paragraph break to emphasize this]]
=broad
[[<<broaden your audience by introducing technical terms in layman’s terms]]
=build
[[<<build up to this important element -- use later]]
=buildup
[[<<good buildup for what will happen]]
=bury
[[<<a main element is buried inside the sentence – move for immediate clarity
and better flow]]
=by
[[<<add a ‘by-line’ – identify yourself as the author]]
=cap
[[<<hidden redundancy – being “capable of” is expressed by doing the action
itself]]
=care
[[<<unnecessary error – proofread before finishing! – what you are saying
deserves undivided attention]]
=cat
[[<<category words like “ADD” aren't needed (labeling adds nothing significant to
your point) -- just say the point directly]]
=cause
[[<<give cause before effect for a more natural sequence]]
=change
[[<<repeat, but with a change to keep this fresh and deliberate]]
=check
[[<<use a dictionary or spell-checker]]
=choose
[[<<between two similar statements, choose the best]]
=chop
[[<<combine sentences that are too short and choppy]]
=circ
[[<<circular language – “xx” is the same as “yy”]]
=cite
[[<<use a citation that gives enough information for the reader to locate the
source material -- add an endnote]]
=clar
[[<<for clarity]]
=clear
[[<<already clear]]
=clich
[[<<use variation to avoid clichéd phrase]]
=climax
[[<<try to save at least one significant, previously un-used point for the end, as a
climax to your argument – or end with fresh, concise, previously unused language
>>such as>>]]
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LINE-EDITING COMMENTS
David G Sharpe
A Sampler
SOME FREQUENTLY USED COMMENTS
Here are a few additional entries, randomly chosen. Any time I make
a comment in a paper that I know I can use again, I take the time to
add it to AutoCorrect -=close
; [[<<use a semi-colon for closely-related thoughts expressed as sentences]]
=colloq
[[<<more suited for conversation than the written word]]
=delay
[[<<go straight to the point without delay]]
=end
[[<<end here for emphasis]]
=exam
[[<<what follows is clearly an example with no need for a label]]
=flow
[[<<changed for better flow]]
=foc
[[<<delete to strengthen your focus on the primary content]]
=insult
[[<<unnecessary danger of insulting your reader – solve by deleting]]
=introdelay
[[<<a general intro causes unnecessary delay and a sense of repetition – go
straight to your unique content]]
=jump
[[<<energize your writing by jumping past implied points -- the content moves
forward here>>]]
=load
[[<<overloaded sentence -- distribute some of the content elsewhere]]
=minor
[[<<remove minor verbs to make the remaining prime ones more effective]]
=need
[[<<imagine what the reader needs to know – you know about this, but your
reader doesn’t]]
=opp
[[<<the meaning here is opposite to what you intend]]
=oppo
[[<<IMPORTANT: consider possible opposition when you are trying to persuade]]
=pair
[[<<a word pair is weaker than finding a strong single word]]
=pers
[[<<person shift -- be consistent (singular or plural, first/second/third person) – or
reword to avoid the pronoun]]
=phr
[[<<good phrasing]]
=read
[[<<read out loud to discover the natural pauses in the sentence]]
=ref
[[<<loose referent -- identify clearly what is being referred to -- grammatically this
refers to “ADD”]]
=rhet
[[<<this sounds good, but is only ‘rhetoric’ in the empty sense – good language
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LINE-EDITING COMMENTS
David G Sharpe
A Sampler
works best with new, good content]]
=rush
[[<<this is evidence that you have rushed through this paper – mistakes like this
affect your credibility -- take care before you make your writing public]]
=said
[[<<already said]]
=shift
[[<<number shift -- be consistent (singular or plural)]]
=spell
[[<<mistakes like this won’t be found by a spell-checker – you need to carefully
re-read]]
=stutt
[[<<”it” here is like a stutter – replace “it” with the earlier wording that gives the
meaning]]
=tag
[[<<integrate quotation identifiers within the flow of the text – for variety and
rhythm]]
=thisref
[[<<”this” refers to something not yet introduced – first identify clearly what you
are talking about]]
=trust
[[<<errors in basic fact weaken the reader’s trust in what you have to say]]
=voice
[[<<good voice here]]
=whowhat
[[<<establish basic info as early as you can (who, what, where, when)]]
=xclich
[[<<delete to avoid cliché]]
=xfiller
[[<<IMPORTANT: notice how the core meaning of this paragraph can be said,
with no loss of meaning, by a fraction of the words – that frees up space for
additional significant content (not filler) – you have to work harder, but for a
stronger result]]
=xpass
[[<<rework sentences to use active voice rather than passive]]
=xstate
[[<<rework flat statements (usually signaled by verbs of being such as
“is/are/becomes”) into more interesting expression>>]]
=yes
[[<<this works well]]
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