Why Are My Kids So Bad?: Constructing a Freshman Ethic to Promote Success and Sanity in the College Classroom Sarah Capello, English, Point Park University Abstract: Each semester, students and professors spend grueling hours gleaning and imparting knowledge. Unfortunately, these long hours and degree ambitions are frequently derailed by nonacademic classroom distractions like chatting, texting, Internet surfing, absenteeism, and sleeping. Class instructors spend needless amounts of time answering emails and entertaining office visits from students who miss class, fail to submit assignments, neglect to write papers, and have, overall, no moral motivations to complete coursework above a barely passing level. Drawing on the research of Sam Eldakak (“Does Applying Ethics in Education Have an Effective Impact in the Classroom?”), Sharon Smaldino (“Classroom Strategies for Teaching Ethics”), and Barbara S. S. Hong, et al. (“Impact of Perceptions of Faculty on Student Outcomes of Self-Efficacy, Locus of Control, Persistence, and Commitment”), this poster postulates preemptive strategies and policies that professors can implement to instill proper behaviors and an ethical paradigm for students to follow. As Freire argues in The “Banking” Concept of Education, when an educator holds all knowledge, the student is reduced from an intelligent participant in the learning process to a semi-comatose sponge. If applied to the classroom ethical paradigm, we can see that a banking approach will endorse an oppressive list of classroom “dos and don’ts” with no personal connection to the students. This poster, instead, proposes a constructivist pedagogy where students set their own policies and consequences for classroom behaviors with basic guidance from the instructor. By constructing an ethic for the class, the college instructor will bypass axiological gray areas and be spared maudlin entreaties for exceptions and extensions. In turn, students will be morally and academically invested in their coursework and prepared for future courses. Designing a classroom ethic for freshmen is especially relevant and highlighted in this poster due to their general lack of experience and knowledge of university expectations.