Shifting the paradigm: the intersection of domestic violence, child maltreatment and safety and well-being
Safe and Together Advocacy Institute Training Module 4:
How Domestic Violence Perpetrators Harm Children
Length: 1 hour
Needs:
 Flipchart or whiteboard and markers
 Sign-in sheet
 PowerPoint (Laptop/projector/screen)
Materials:
 Handout of PowerPoint Slides
 Handout: Menu of Expectations for Perpetrators
 Safe and Together cards (optional)
I. Introductions (5-10 minutes)
 Trainer introduces self, including that you are currently a participant in the Safe and
Together Advocacy Institute and this training is a part of your certification requirements.
Share some information about the Institute and your experiences.
 Ask participants to introduce themselves (If everyone knows one another, you can skip
this).
 Let participants know that the training will be one hour in length.
II. Introduce goals for the training [Slide 1] (5 minutes)
 Participants will learn the importance of a domestic violence perpetrator pattern-based
focus
 Participants will be able to enhance their assessment, intervention and case-planning
with domestic violence perpetrators
III. What is domestic violence? [Slide 2] (5 minutes)
Domestic violence is defined as a pattern of coercive control that one intimate partner engages
in against one or more intimate partners. This pattern of behavior may continue after a
relationship has ended, or when the couple no longer lives together.
Trainer should ask participants: “What strikes you about that definition?“
© 2014 David Mandel and Associates, LLC
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If it is not brought up, trainer may want to point out that domestic violence is not mutual
violence or something that two individuals “engage in”. Trainer should acknowledge that
mutual aggression exists, but for the purposes of the training, the focus is going to be on
coercive control. Trainer might also point out that some perpetrators continue their abuse even
after separation or divorce by using the children as weapons, pumping the children for
information, talking badly about the survivor to the children, not sticking to visitation or child
support schedules; continuing to harass and terrorize, etc.)
IV. Who are domestic violence perpetrators? [Slide 3] (10 minutes)
Domestic violence perpetrators, in the context of the child welfare system, are parents and/or
caregivers who engage in a pattern of coercive control against one or more intimate partners.
This pattern of behavior may continue after the end of a relationship, or when the couple no
longer lives together. The perpetrator’s actions often directly involve, target and impact any
children in the family.
Trainer should ask: What has been your experience working with domestic violence
perpetrators?
Trainer should be prepared to hear and respond to a multitude of comments from participants
(including: manipulative, charming, scary, narcissistic, intimidating, genuine, exhausting,
uncooperative, blaming, etc.) Trainer should be prepared to point out that while some DV
perpetrators may have co-occurring mental health or substance abuse concerns, many do not
have a mental health diagnoses and there is no DSM V diagnoses for DV perpetrators. Trainer
should validate workers’ experiences, and acknowledge that perpetrators can be frustrating to
work with and difficult to interview, engage and keep visible throughout the life of a case.
V. What’s Changed? [10 minutes]
Trainer should say: I need 3 volunteers to come and stand at the front of the room. Once
selected, assign each volunteer a role: father, mother and child.
Trainer should then say: “I need the three of you to stand together. Father, you are jealous,
controlling, and have been physically abusive to your partner. In addition, you expose your child
to these behaviors and routinely tell your child that his mother is stupid and that he doesn’t
have to listen to her. “
Trainer should say: “Now, father – please go stand on the other side of the room.”
Trainer: (to larger group): What has changed?
Trainer should be prepared to point out (if need be) that nothing in the behaviors of the
perpetrator has changed, nor can it be expected to change.
© 2014 David Mandel and Associates, LLC
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Trainer should thank participants and tell them they can go back to their seats.
Trainer should ask group: “So, how can we better intervene with DV perpetrators?”
VI. Intervening with DV Perpetrators [Slide 4] (15 minutes)
Intervening with perpetrators means:
 Making every effort to locate and interview them. Goals for interviewing should be
assessing perpetrator’s ability to recognize his behaviors as being harmful to the
children, assessing danger, assessing ability and desire to work with DCF/CBC and others
to change his behaviors, and planning for child and survivor safety.
 Asking clear questions specific to what is known about the perpetrator’s pattern and
outlining your concerns regarding behaviors and expectations for behavioral change.
 Making a genuine effort to engage him. In many cases, this is a parent or psychological
parent and someone the children love and care about.
 Clearly documenting what you know about the perpetrator’s pattern of behaviors and
actions he has taken to harm the children.
 Collaborating with community allies, including law enforcement, the criminal court,
probation, parole, faith communities, etc.
Intervening does not mean: [Slide 5]
 Colluding with the perpetrator by saying things like, “I know how women can be…” or “I
am also asking your wife to go to services”. It is important to be conscious that you are
giving the message that the perpetrator’s behaviors are a behavioral choice and not
caused by stress, culture, religion, mental health, substance abuse, etc.
 Shaming.
 Arguing with a perpetrator or attempting to make him “admit” behaviors. If a
perpetrator denies or externalizes blame, document it rather than engaging in an
argument.
Trainer should pass out ‘Menu of Expectations for DV Perpetrators’ Handout. Trainer should
point out that the handout is meant as a way to give ideas about how to case plan or safety
plan, but should be adapted to a perpetrator’s specific behaviors. The handout can be adapted
by CPI’s for use in safety-planning and for Case Managers for use in case-planning.
VII. Closing (5 minutes) [Slide 6]
Trainer should thank participants and share link to a short (5 minute) post-training survey.
Trainer should write link on flipchart. Trainer should also share that as incentive for
completing the survey they will be eligible for a monthly drawing of a $100. Target Gift
Card.
Link is: http://endingviolence.com/advocacy-institute-post-training-evaluation/
© 2014 David Mandel and Associates, LLC
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