Grades 9-10
Prompt for Set 1: Scientists discover potential new cures for disease every day. When they are
developing medicines, they need to have some way to test whether or not the medicine will work for
humans. For years, scientists have tested drugs by using them in various ways on animals. Unfortunately,
as a result of making sure a substance is safe and effective for humans, many animals are injured or die.
How do you think these situations should be handled? On the one hand, it is bad to make animals suffer,
but on the other hand, scientists need to conduct these experiments to show that the medicines people
use are safe and effective. After reading the stimulus material, take a position on this topic and write an
essay stating your position and explaining why it is the better one. Use the most relevant evidence from
the articles for each side, pointing out the strengths and limitations of both sides of the issue.*
Essay 1
Diseases used to kill many people because even a cold or a splinter could kill you but now we
are saving lives of people and killing animals because tehse medicines have to be tested on
animals and scientists use everything from bears to mice to find more medicines that work. 20
million animals are experimented on and killed by testing every year so first they hae to give
the animal the disease or problem and then they try the new medicines to see if it works. But
to make sure they have to give the disease to some animals witout the medicine so they suffer.
Is it fair to have an animal get hurt or sick and not have any choice in what happens to them or
their babies?
Some people think that we need this testing to make people healthy but who said we get to
chose who lives and who dies so therefore should we kill animals to make ourselves live longer?
We have to stop using so much animal testing and find other ways that don't give them so
much pain. It should be a law that a company can use only a certain number of animals a year
and instead of always using animals, we could use a computer program so if it gives bad results,
they can keep working until it says it's ok and when that is done they could use only a few
animals to see if it worked. This would save a lot of animals and keep them from suffring.
Development
of Ideas
2
Organization
Style
Word Choice
2
2
2
Sentence
Structure
2
Conventions
2
Essay 2
If someone in your family has a disease like cancer, heart conditions, and AIDS they may have to suffer
pain and change their lifetyle. But they only are alive because of medicine. Back when medicine and
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Grades 9-10
vaccines weren't invented or that advanced, diseases like Polio, Malaria, Asthma, etc., killed
many people. Even getting a cold or fever could kill you. Nowadays all the medicines save many
lives, but they are killing, too.
All these vaccines weren't tested on other humans, but on animals. Everything from mice to
polar bears, new ways of saving people are tested first on animals. Animals that can't speak or
argue about us humans killing them. They have no say in living or dying. On average 20 million
animals are killed through this testing. Many of them don’t get pain killers when they are
slammed on the head, or get their legs chopped to see if they can adapt.
That’s because a painkiller can affect the research and can mess up the reactions. Is it fair to
test an animal get tested like this?
Many scientists argue that it is necessary to save lives. The question is, are we the ones to
chose who lives and who dies? Are we the ones to kill in order to increase our lifespans?
We should work toward ways to decrease animal testing and find other ways that don't involve
such pain and killing. It should be worked out so that a company can use only a certain number
of animals a year. Also, we could use a computer program that acts just like an animal with all
of it's behaviors and reactions. If it gives bad results, they can keep working until it says it's ok.
When that is done, they could use only a few animals to see if it worked. This would reduce the
chance of animals getting killed.
Score:
Development
of Ideas
3
Organization
Style
Word Choice
3
3
3
Sentence
Structure
3
Conventions
3
Essay 3
You might have a family member or friend who has had to experience the difficulties of a lifethreatening disease including cancer, heart conditions, and AIDS. That person may have had to endure
enormous bouts of pain and adapt to an irregular lifestyle. The most common reason they were even
able to live is because of medicine and treatments that supported them. Even a century ago, medical
science was not even close to what is capable of now. A long time ago, getting infected with something
like small pox could kill you. Just a century ago, a deadly flu called influenza swept throughout the world,
after World War 1. It was a major epidemic that is estimated to have caused more than 40 million
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Grades 9-10
deaths in between the years of 1918-1919.1 Every year, there is a new case of influenza, but thanks to
modern medicine, it’s not as dangerous as its counterpart in the 1910’s.
The most common reason people survive life-threatening diseases is because of medicine and special
medical treatments. Cancer, a very dangerous disease is acquired by about half of all men and one-third
of all women in the United States.2 Before chemotherapy was introduced in the 1940’s, there weren’t
many options to treat cancer. 3 Since then, chemotherapy has evolved into a leading cancer treatment
Penicillin, first discovered by Alexander Fleming in 1928, was one of the world’s very first antibiotics.4
Due to advanced medicine, the risk of dying from many diseases has been reduced dramatically. There is
a big disadvantage though, a side effect that kills millions.5
In order to carry out the number of tests necessary to get a single drug on the market, much of the early
testing is done on animals. Annually, about 20 million animals die through medicine- testing.6 There are
many reasons why animals are used, and the first one is because if the drug fails, humans wouldn’t have
to get harmed, the animals would. Also, animals such as apes/monkeys and mice have a close genetic
model of the average human. Another reason is because mice, in general, have a very short life-span
which is a few years at most. This allows the scientists to not have to wait, for example 40 years, to see
the complete result of a test.7 Some other reasons animals are used for testing, as stated by the Food
and Drug Administration is so scientists know how much of a drug is absorbed into the blood, or how
the drug is broken down chemically in the body.8
In a usual experiment, there are two groups of subjects. One group actually receives the medication,
and while the other gets a placebo, which is a fake medication. Both groups think they have gotten the
medication, but they haven’t. Animals can be tested on in many ways, including getting traumatized on
purpose or having their legs amputated or dissected at birth. These methods, although not done to be
cruel, are very agonizing and many animal patients don’t even receive painkillers.9 The big reason why
scientists and researchers do not give pain-numbing antidotes is because the painkiller supposedly
affects the results and in turn gives inaccurate information. Many scientists argue that without the use
of animals as subjects, it would be significantly complicated to progress the scientific era in medicine,
restricting the ability to save as many lives as possible.10 The fact is, without animals to do the tryouts
for us, it would be harder to create new revolutionary advances in health and prolong the lives of
humans. Although, we should try to regulate the amount of harm we do to these creatures.
Animals should be treated with respect, and we should use less brutal tactics to investigate medicinal
properties. We should find alternative methods that don't involve such animal genocide. Scientists
should develop a program which contains all known genetic information of humans and animals, and
which is able to perform a multitude of tests on any new medicine, giving all possible outcomes. If the
result is not favorable and doesn’t meet requirements, the scientists could change up the chemical
process or materials in the medicine until it meets the regulations. When this process is successfully
attained, scientists can be allowed to test on a voluntary person. Although computers will not be able to
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Grades 9-10
calculate everything that might happen, the use of electronics to solve these types of problems will
significantly help in the matters of animal testing. It can pave a road to a new way of life, with the use of
futuristic technology.
Score:
Development
of Ideas
4
Organization
Style
Word Choice
4
4
4
Sentence
Structure
5
Conventions
4
The Modern Language Association (MLA) style for formatting and citations was used for this essay. See
the following page for resources (not included in the drafts submitted for scoring). Since all sources were
listed in the End Notes, a separate Works Cited page was not included.
End Notes
“The Deadly Virus: The Influenza Epidemic of 1918.” National Archives and Records Administration, n.d.
Web. February 2014.
2
”Questions People Ask About Cancer.” American Cancer Society. 2014. Web. February 2014.
3
”Evolution of Cancer Treatments.” American Cancer Society. 2014. Web. February 2014.
4
”Antibiotics.” History Learning Site. 2014. Web. February 2014.
5
Evolution of Cancer Treatments.” American Cancer Society. 2014. Web. February 2014.
6
Andre, Claire, and Manuel Velasquez. “Of Cures and Creatures Great and Small.” Markkula Center for
Applied Ethics. Santa Clara University. n.d. Web. February 2014.
7
Melina, Remy. “Why do Medical Researchers Use Mice?” LiveScience. 2010. Web. February 2014.
8
"Why are Animals Used for Testing Medical Products?” U.S. Food and Drug Administration. June 12,
2014. Web. 25 Feb 2014.
9
Andre, Claire, and Manuel Velasquez. “Of Cures and Creatures Great and Small.” Markkula Center for
Applied Ethics. Santa Clara University. n.d. Web. February 2014.
10
Andre, Claire, and Manuel Velasquez.. “Of Cures and Creatures Great and Small.” Markkula Center for
Applied Ethics. Santa Clara University. n.d. Web. February 2014.
1
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Grades 9-10
Prompt for Set 2: Many students are involved in school-related activities, such as sports, music,
drama, and service and learning clubs. Your district school board is considering a measure to
forbid students from missing class for these types of activities. This would include out-of-town
games, concerts at elementary schools, or trips to another city. Write an argumentative essay
in which you argue for or against such a measure.
Essay 4:
I beleive that students should be allowed to leave the school for school related activities. This way,
students can better understand the things they are studying in class. For example, us student's in Mr.
Carter’s Biology block class had the oppurtunity in early October to go to Gregson Resevoir on a feild
trip. While we were there we learned about the thing's we had been studying in class first hand. Another
great example is Mrs.Lee’s P.E. class. Her students will go bowling on a feild trip so that her students can
learn first hand the rules of bowling and how to play.
I beleive that by leaving the school and experiencing the topics first hand the students have a better
understanding of what their studying. I'm sure that when you were in school you always enjoyed going
on feild trips and leaving the school and that you learned more about the topic than what the textbook
said. I mean, it is better to see a real leaf or a real bird than just read about it. Some kids don't ever get
to go anywhere with their families so it would be good for them too.
So there you have it. My reason's why I beleive students should be allowed to leave the school for
school related activities.
Score:
Development
of Ideas
2
Organization
Style
Word Choice
2
2
2
Sentence
Structure
2
Conventions
2
Essay 5:
BLEEP, the loudspeaker blares. "Members of the football team, the band and the cheerleading squad
need to report to the foyer to leave for the game." As several students triumphantly make their exits,
the rest of the class looks on with envy. They wish they, too, could get out of this prison before the bell.
The teacher is irritated to have them leave. But is missing the end of a school day for a musical
performance or athletic championship such a terrible thing? Students leaving school early for extracurricular activities do not disrupt any substantial amount of others' learning time themselves. If these
©2015 Measurement Incorporated. All Rights Reserved
Grades 9-10
students are advanced enough in the activity to be missing a tiny bit of school, then the time is well
spent in this other field of expertise. Why do teachers always count a few students walking out the door
as a "terrible disruption"? Two minutes out of 90 cannot possibly make a dent in the progress of a class.
With all the other distractions that happen in a period (class discussions that go off in tangents, students
sleeping, pencil sharpeners grinding, announcements over the intercom, etc.), what difference does
another very minor one make? Students who leave early are never truly missing a significant amount of
class. When you consider how many days are in a school year, twenty to thirty minutes of one day
cannot possibly affect the amount of material learned. Ill students sometimes miss weeks, even months,
of school! Plus, the phrase "make-up work" was not invented on a whim. If you miss an assignment, you
can do it at home. The reason behind a student's absence from the latter part of a class is always
extremely important. The purpose of school is to educate a person so that they may use those skills in
their later professions to help make the world a better place. If one's world-helping proffession has
more to do with sports or music than algebra and literature, they should most definitely be allowed to
miss a part of the latter to become more advanced in whatever field will help them later in life. Every
person's talent lies in a different place. A two-minute disruption or one missed assignment cannot
possibly matter in the long run. For the long run is what a student misses class for. The student's future what they can do to help themselves and others to make their name known for great acheivments or to
improve the world is what really matters.
Score:
Development
of Ideas
3
Organization
Style
Word Choice
3
3
3
Sentence
Structure
3
Conventions
3
Essay 3:
"BLEEP," the loudspeaker blares, and the assistant principal’s voice announces, "Members of the
football team, the band and the cheerleading squad need to report to the foyer to leave for the game."
As several students triumphantly make their exits, the rest of the class looks on with envy. They wish
they, too, could be emancipated. The teacher is inevitably irritated to have them leave. But is missing
the end of a school day for a musical performance or athletic competition such a terrible thing?
Students who are involved in these activities have worked hard to be in these special groups, and if they
are advanced enough in the activity to be missing a tiny bit of school, then the time is well spent in this
other field of expertise. The purpose of school is to educate students so that as adults they have the
skills to help make the world a better place. Some of these students may very well be planning to
continue their commitment to music or sports throughout high school, college, and even beyond, so
involvement at this point can only enhance their education. Not everyone in a physics class has the
inclination to become a physicist or engineer. Isn’t it better to encourage students to be well-rounded,
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Grades 9-10
to explore different activities and talents, and to contribute to school life as a whole rather than make
little robots whose sole talent is in taking notes?
Why do teachers always count a few students walking out the door as a "terrible disruption"? Students
leaving school early for extra-curricular activities do not disrupt any substantial amount of others'
learning time. With all the other distractions that happen in a period, such as class discussions that go
off in tangents, students sleeping, pencil sharpeners grinding, and announcements over the intercom,
what difference does another very minor one make? The time it takes for these students to leave is less
than the time it takes for a teacher to discipline students for talking or being late to class. Students who
must leave early for school-related activities must keep up their grades and they must not be
disciplinary problems. In fact, if a student makes a D in a class or is sent to in-school suspension, that
student forfeits the right to participate in the activity. This seems to me to be a great way to encourage
students to do well in school, and so teachers would want to tempt more students to participate in
these kinds of activities. Perhaps if more students were involved in these types of activities, there
would be fewer disruptions due to misbehavior and fewer students with wandering attention. Too
many teachers are exasperated with students leaving early, seeing it as a serious problem as well as an
attack on their teaching. After all, these students will be missing the last half hour of this class. What
about the curriculum? What about all the crucial information they will miss? Perhaps the teacher is
also thinking of the extra time she will have to spend to get them caught up. However, these students
already know that they are obligated to make up any work they miss, and the very fact that they are
involved in activities which require a certain level of commitment and responsibility should convince
teachers that the students can handle missing some class. Teachers should allow enough flexibility in
their classes so that students who miss some class now and then are not penalized, while at the same
time letting the teacher off the hook for being totally responsible for making sure every student does
every assignment. This flexibility would also help when a student is absent due to illness. But one missed
discussion, lecture, or assignment cannot possibly matter in the long run, and the long run is what a
student misses class for. The student's future - what they can do to help themselves and others as
adults is what really matters, and for that, missing class for a few minutes may be the most important
thing they can do right now.
Disruption? Detrimental to learning? I think not. Instead, imagine a new scenario, in which enlightened
administrators and teachers not only concur that extra-curricular activities that require occasional
absence on the part of students, but applaud and celebrate the opportunities they provide. Think about
what would happen.
"BLEEP," the loudspeaker blares, and the assistant principal’s voice announces, "Members of the
football team, the band and the cheerleading squad need to report to the foyer to leave for the game."
As several students begin to move toward the door, the rest of the class begins a cheer, urging them to
do their best and to win the game. The teacher stands at the door, proudly wishing them luck.
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Grades 9-10
Score:
Development
of Ideas
4
Organization
Style
Word Choice
5
4
4
Sentence
Structure
4
Conventions
4
For more examples of student essays, see the Common Core State Standards Initiative site, which
includes samples of actual student essays for all three writing genres and for all grades. Each essay
includes helpful notes and explanations. The first set of essays is from an on-demand writing
assignment. The second set shows a range of writing, usually with one or more short essays and one or
more longer ones.
Link: http://achievethecore.org/page/504/common-core-opinion-argumentative-writing
Each of these essays was scored using our PEG scoring engine. These scores follow:
Grades 9-10 On-demand Argumentative:
Grade/Essay
High School
Should Not
Participate
To Teachers and
Whom It May
Concern
Development
of Ideas
Organization
Style
Word Choice
Sentence
Structure
Conventions
4
4
2
4
4
4
3
4
3
3
4
4
Grades 9-10 Range of Writing Argumentative:
Is It Love
4
5
4
4
5
4
Keep On Reading
Is It Love
4
4
4
5
3
4
4
4
4
5
4
4
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