The Mentoring Process
Mentoring is a process. Enactment of the mentoring process requires time, commitment,
diligence, reflection and resilience. We can’t tell you exactly “how to do” mentoring. Yet, the
literature on mentoring – and our observations and experiences – strongly suggest that effective
mentors cultivate certain essentials skills, and that there is a discernible process through which
mentoring relationships can get off the ground, develop and deepen.
Mentoring processes typically contain the following dimensions:
 A phase in which the relationship is initiated – outreach,
An effective mentor does not
wait for students to come to
scheduling of initial meetings, etc.
her or him. A mentor
 A phase in which mentor and mentee go beyond the
initiates relationships by
superficial and deepen mutual knowledge and
seeking people out, asking
questions, listening, and
understanding of each other.
demonstrating interest,
 A phase in which the mentee is encouraged to develop and
suggesting possibilities, and
focus on specific goals; attention is devoted to identifying
following up.
circumstances that are supporting or constraining progress,
and specifying steps and actions plans for attaining goals.
 Ongoing reflection and assessment on quality of relationship as well as extent of goal
achievement and any needs for modification of action plans.
 Celebration of accomplishments and closure.
To be an effective mentor, a peer educator needs to:
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Organize and initiate
Ask questions
Actively listen
Sensitively probe
Encourage students to set and take action on goals
Provide feedback to students
Acquire feedback from students
Reflect on her or his strengths and gaps as a mentor and continuously improve
Here are steps you need to take at various phases of the mentoring process:
Explain your interest in “getting together” with students – You do not need to make too big of
a thing of announcing this. Rather, simply indicate that you would like to get to know students
outside the larger group LC meetings and that you expect students to sign up and follow
through. You may choose to refer to meetings as “get-togethers” rather than “mentoring
sessions”.
Organize “get-togethers” over the semester in alignment with student schedules and your
schedule] Getting together with two groups of three each week from weeks 2-5 would permit
you to see 24 students. You will know each of these students at least a little if not a lot better. It
will help them, help you and help the group.
 It is important to make students feel comfortable and open to the idea of mentoring so
allow them to sign up for a time that best fits their schedule (but also of course yours).
We suggest a casual but quiet and convenient neutral location.
 Always remind students a day in advance that you have an upcoming meeting.
Set a comfortable tone – As the mentor you need to take the initiative and set the tone and
atmosphere of the meeting. You could use fun and/or purposeful “check-ins” to do this –
favorite hobby, favorite music, favorite movie, funniest thing that happened at UC so far, what
you would do tomorrow if you win lottery, etc. Keep it casual.
Pose questions in a variety of areas – Ask questions about various areas – adjusting to and
getting to know UC, making friends, family, relationships, health and well-being (stress),
finances and of course academics including particular classes. The questions do not need to be
very complicated – they are conversation starters. You can pose simple questions in these areas
such as “what has been going on with…”? How are things going with…?
“… Getting to know a mentee does not mean
knowing everything about that person. Rather,
gaining a good sense about who this person is
and what he or she brings to the learning
relationship will help the mentor connect and
facilitate…” (Zachary, 2000:20).
Ask simple open-ended questions that invite mentees to reveal their interests and concerns in
various areas of their lives, and tell stories about themselves. These are preferable to closeended questions for which a one-word response is sufficient. If you get really short response,
ask for elaboration. “I am curious about that; tell me more”.
Actively Listen - Active listening is crucial in all of our interpersonal relationships including those
specific to mentoring. To listen actively is to pay strict attention to what students are saying. It
means listening:
 With focus
 Empathetically
 Without thinking about your next response
 With attention to the meaning and implications of what the person is saying
Listening in such a manner honors the person you are listening to, convey that you care
and are interested, and reinforces that the conversation is about them – not you. Moreover,
actively listening allows you to probe as well as respond in a more effective manner. Active
listening is a habit. As you practice active listening, it will become more habitual - second
nature. Look folks in the eye, use good body language and truly pay attention to the person.
Probe - Initially, you may find that students provide only short and general answers – even to
your well-crafted question. Probing invites and encourages students to share more details of
their experiences, elaborate on any needs or concerns (or accomplishments), and reveal their
perspectives and feelings to a greater extent. What does a probe sound like? Probes occur in the
midst of conversation and thus cannot be scripted but examples would include:
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Wow – that’s really interesting – tell me more.
I think I hear you saying that _________. Is that right? Could you explain again and
tell me more?
I’m sensing that there is allot going on with _______. Is there? Would you like to tell
me more?
Probing might feel awkward. You may even feel that you are violating privacy in some
ways. But be insistent – in a friendly way. If you insist that the door is open, people will usually
come in – eventually. While you should not compel a fellow student to share and/or elaborate,
you can persistently invite her or him to do so. A conversation is like a spider’s web. Through
sensitive probing, you can weave it to a more intricate level.
Peer Educator Voices:
So far, the biggest thing I have noticed is how the conversation has evolved beyond just the
questions I had prepared and how willing the students are to talk. All of them feel open talking to
me about whatever problems they are facing. It has been cool to see them open up… I can now
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ask them more focused questions and interact with them on a deeper level.
Encourage Goal Setting and Follow Though - Where possible, have students leave a session
with at least one specific and immediate goal and commitment. “What is one thing you want to
accomplish or improve in the next few days; what can you do to make that happen”? Follow up
through casual conversation, e-mail or other means to see how the student is doing.
Patience & Resilience – Rome was not built in a day. If initial sessions simply break some ice and
lay the foundations for friendships and relationships, great. They can get more serious and
purposeful – while remaining fun – as they evolve over time. Mentoring is a process.
Encourage – Stress possibilities rather than limitations; stress strengths rather than deficiencies.
Let students know that with hard work and commitment, many things are possible.
Connect student to other people, resources, opportunities and potential mentors – There are
a tremendous array of resources and opportunities – and potential mentors – at UC. Make
students aware of them and encourage them to connect to them. Your mentoring sessions (and
any other formal or casual encounters in and out of the LC meetings) offer opportunities for
encouraging students to broaden their connections to people, resources and opportunities at
UC.
Provide Feedback - Success in any endeavor is achieved through continually assessing the gap
between our current level of performance and attainment – our current reality – and what we
want to attain - our vision. Mentors - through ongoing provision of feedback – can help students
close the gaps.
As you provide feedback, keep these seven attributes of effective feedback in mind:
Seven Central Features of Effective Feedback (adopted from Joe Cuseo)
1. PROACTIVE: it’s delivered early, thus allowing for quick diagnosis and intervention.
2. PROMPT: it’s delivered soon after performance is completed.
3. PRECISE: it clearly and specifically focuses on what needs correction or
improvement and what should be done to rectify mistakes and improve subsequent
performance.
4. PRACTICAL: it provides suggestions for improvement that are manageable, and
target modifiable aspects of performance that can be realistically implemented.
5. PERSUASIVE: it provides good reasons why improvement should be made and
encouragement or incentives for the student to act on the information provided to
improve future performance.
6. PERSONALIZED: it’s delivered in a warm, non-threatening manner that focuses on
the student’s behavior, not on the individual’s traits or characteristics.
7. POSITIVE: it includes recognition of the best aspects of the student’s performance,
identifying individual strengths or areas of personal improvement, and conveys
optimism that positive changes can be made to rectify existing weaknesses.
Align your feedback, where possible, back to the goals that students have established
for themselves. And focus the feedback on items that can be addressed in the short term –
devoting time and effort to this week’s Calculus problems, this week’s exercise plan, this week’s
guitar practice, this week’s connections with family, etc. Long term goals are indeed important
but they are achieved via what we do on a day to day and week to week basis. Today is indeed
the first day of the rest of our lives!
Continually Acquire Feedback from Students and Colleagues- You can enhance your impact as
a mentor (or group leader or learning coach) by asking for feedback on how you are doing. Your
assumptions about how things are going may not necessarily be accurate. Explicitly check how
things are going, make clear that you are receptive to constructive feedback, and stress that you
are open to improving as a mentor and committed to helping students succeed and thrive at UC.
Peer Educator Voices
I have learned a lot from my students about me as well. Some of the questions I have
asked them pertain to me and I have (heard about) positive things that I never realized
made an impact on them. This has given me more confidence in my mentoring skills and in
myself in general.
Kim Schwartz
Learning Community Peer Leader 07-08, 08-09, 09-10
Students may not feel comfortable providing critical feedback – especially if it is just
asked for in a point blank verbal manner. So, acquire it via various methods – direct questioning,
short surveys, e-mails, etc. Always thank students or others for feedback and acknowledged that
you processed the feedback.
Here are some questions you might ask –in person, in a short survey, in an email, on
Facebook, etc:
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How did the “get-togethers” go for you?
Are they helpful?
Is there anything else that we could be doing or discussing when we meet?
What would you like to do or talk about next time we meet?
Do you have any needs or interests that we are not addressing?
Do you have any suggestions for me?
Do you have any questions for me?
Follow Up - Make plans for the next “get together” – when and where will it be and what items
might be discussed. In subsequent get-togethers or just casually, ask how the students are doing
with specific issues that were discussed.
Commitments of a Mentor
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To deepen knowledge and understanding of mentoring
To enthusiastically engage in mentoring - suspending skepticism
and/or fear
To organize and initiate the mentoring process
To respect and maintain student confidentiality
To understand and respect paraprofessional boundaries – you are
not a counselor or therapist
To connect students to resources and other potential mentors
To be resilient and patient (while students grow and develop)
To self-assess, reflect and improve
To celebrate others’ accomplishments and your own