“What Jesus Does to Relationships”
-Dr. Jeff Ebert
Philemon 1:1-25
October 18, 2015
Throw a pebble into a pond and what happens? The impact has a ripple effect. Small waves emanate from the center
spreading out in concentric rings. Throw a big rock into the water and you get big ripples. Right? Well, Jesus is a big rock thrown into
the water of your life. The impact of his presence in you has a ripple effect that spreads out into all corners of who you are. And
sometimes, even though we are his followers, we resist his influence. He pushes himself into areas that are uncomfortable,
inconvenient, that require us to change how we live. And change, no matter how good, is usually met with resistance.
If you are reading along with our 8 week Community Bible Experience, you’ve seen how Jesus made a big splash in the
ancient world. Seen how, through the preaching of the Apostles, the ripple effect of his death and resurrection spread throughout the
Roman Empire. That Gospel message was met with resistance, not just by people who didn’t believe, but also from inside the church.
People began to realize there were implications for following Jesus. The impact of Jesus entering a person’s life meant his influence
should spread to their personal behavior, to their lifestyle, to their personal choices, to their sexuality, their finances, their emotions –
their everything! The Gospel welcomed people to come to Christ in faith for salvation, but it also challenged people to live a godly life
through the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit; to live a life that would honor Christ – which meant turning away from the old life – the
actions and attitudes of the non-Christian world. And as we’ll see in today’s passage, nowhere was this influence of Jesus making a
bigger splash than in the area of personal relationships.
We’re in the little book of Philemon today. It’s only one chapter. Just twenty-five verses. A letter from the Apostle Paul to a
man named Philemon. Some people have called it more of a postcard than a letter, since it’s so short. Haddon Robinson, who is a
preaching professor at my alma mater, Gordon – Conwell Theological Seminary, says it’s a postcard with a punch. And I’m using his
outline to tell you why. Let’s think for a second about the mail system in the ancient world. That’s easy, they didn’t have one. Letter
writing was not a common thing. The army and the government had couriers who carried dispatches to conduct their business but there
was no established system for personal correspondence. Personal letters had to be carried by merchants who made money on the side
as they traveled. If you wanted to send a letter you had to find someone going in the general direction of the person you want to reach
and pay them to carry it for you. And then you crossed your fingers that it would actually get delivered. You waited and waited while
your letter crossed seas, robber invested highways, and all the dangers of travel in the ancient world. You counted yourself lucky if the
letter got through.
Paul stepped it up a notch. He used his own couriers to hand deliver his letters. Trusted disciples, like a woman named
Phoebe who carried the letter to the Romans. A man named Tychicus carried the letters to the Ephesians and Colossians. All the New
Testament letters were hand delivered by trusted companions – unsung heroes of the faith, because if it weren’t for them we wouldn’t
have the New Testament.
One mail carrier had an entire letter written just about him. He is also the one who carried that letter to a wealthy landowner
named Philemon. Philemon lived in the city of Colossae, which is in modern day Turkey. It’s possible that Philemon met Paul in nearby
Ephesus, heard the Good News about Jesus and became a believer. When he got back to Colossae he started a church in his home.
We can surmise that he was wealthy because of two things: his home was large enough for the church to meet there, and he owned
slaves. Now, we’re not talking about slavery as it was experienced in our country. Most slaves in the Roman Empire were indentured
servants who were paying off a financial debt through forced labor and one mark of wealth was owning slaves who worked your lands.
One of Philemon’s slaves was a young man named Onesimus. Turns out Onesimus didn’t like being a slave. Maybe his parents had
sold him into slavery to pay off their own debts. Tough luck for Onesimus, but whatever put him in slavery he was determined to change
the trajectory of his life. He decided to run away – and it looks like he thought Philemon should finance the trip. So, maybe when
Philemon was gone, he got into Philemon’s house and stole everything he could carry. Robbed him blind and took off for Rome.
Rome was far away, a journey of some 1500 miles. Of course a young man with cash in his pocket, looking for adventure,
would go to Rome. It was the great throbbing metropolis. A place of excitement and decadence. Onesimus could hide in the anonymity
of the big city. A country boy in the Big Apple having a wild time. Somehow, and we don’t know how, he hears about the Apostle Paul
and the good news of Jesus. Onesimus must have sought Paul out because Paul was not easy to meet. At this time he’s under house
arrest and would not be allowed to freely roam the city. Somehow Onesimus and Paul connect and in the process Onesimus becomes
a Christ follower.
There is something special about the good news of Jesus. As Paul went around the ancient world, all kinds of people
responded to the Gospel of Jesus. Religious scholars and Greek philosophers. Merchants and soldiers. Government workers and poor
farmers. Even the cultured women of Caesar’s own household. From royalty to runaway slaves. Jesus can touch anyone. That’s what
the love of Christ does - it works its way down deep under the skin where we are all pretty much the same. Down deep in the secret
places. Under the skin – that’s where this good news does its work. And that’s what happened to Onesimus. Jesus entered his heart.
Paul is under house arrest, chained to roman soldier 24/7, but Rome didn’t provide anything for the prisoners. You could die
of starvation and they wouldn’t care. So prisoners had to get people to help them financially, and just to do basic errands like go to the
market for food and necessities. Onesimus becomes Paul’s gopher – he would go and get him stuff, and in the process they became
close, like a father and son. Because of that bond I can imagine that one day Onesimus decides to come clean.
“Paul, I’ve got something to tell you. I come from a town in Asia Minor called Colossae.”
“Oh, I know about Colossae. I used to live right down the road in Ephesus.”
“Yeah, well, there’s a guy there in Colossae named Philemon.”
“You know Philemon? Why I told him about Jesus. If you ever go back there make sure you tell him what’s happened to me.
I’m sure he’d want to help.”
“Well, Paul, I don’t think Philemon would be thrilled to see me. You see, I was his slave, and I ran away. But before I left I sort
of robbed him to finance my trip. I’ve spent it all, and on top of that the law says that a runaway slave – that’s a capital offense. I’ve got
the death penalty hanging over my head. I’d like to make amends but I am not ready to be crucified for it.”
If you’ve been reading his letters you know how blunt Paul can be. I imagine he said something like, “Onesimus, you do have
to go back, but I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll write a letter to Philemon, and I think when he reads it everything will be okay.” So Paul writes
a very short letter. He gives it to Onesimus and off he goes to Philemon, 1500 miles back to Colossae. Imagine him walking the final
quarter mile up a dusty road to the house of Philemon. If it’s in the early morning Philemon would be sitting on the flat roof of his house
having breakfast in the cool of the day, surveying his fields. He sees a man walking toward his house. “That guy looks familiar. It looks
like…like Onesimus? That can’t be. He wouldn’t dare come back here!” As Philemon finishes his food the figure gets closer. “It is
Onesimus!” Philemon goes down stairs, grabs the club he keeps by the front door and gets ready to take batting practice on Onesimus’
skull. They meet in the front courtyard and Onesimus pleads, “Wait! Before you do anything please read this letter. I promise I won’t run
away.”
So with one eye on Onesimus and one eye on the letter Philemon begins to read out loud: (Verse 1) “‘Paul.’ You know Paul?”
“Yes, I meet him in Rome.”
“‘A prisoner.’ Is Paul in jail again?”
“Yes, he got in trouble in Jerusalem and appealed to Rome. He’s under house arrest.”
“‘To Philemon our dear brother and Apphia our sister .’” (I assume that Mrs. Philemon). So maybe Philemon calls into the
house. “Apphia, come here! There’s a letter from Paul.” Apphia comes out and she is stunned to see Onesimus. She probably went at
him, too. “What did you do with that broach you stole? That was my mother’s broach!”
“Wait a minute, Apphia. Let me read this letter from Paul. ‘And Archippus our fellow soldier.’” Archie – maybe he was their
son. “‘And church that meets in their home.’” He reads all the way down to verse 10. “‘I appeal to you for my son Onesimus, who
became my son while I was in chains.’ Onesimus – Paul thinks you’ve become a Christian! I didn’t think anyone could pull the wool over
Paul’s eyes. Onesimus, are you one of these phony converts?”
“No, no. Keep reading.”
“‘Formerly he was useless…’ Well, that’s the truth. ‘…but now he has become useful to both of us.’” The name ‘Onesimus’
means useful, so Paul is doing a little play on words. “‘Now he is useful to both of us.’ Well, that remains to be seen.” Philemon keeps
reading down to verse 17. “‘So if you consider me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me. If he has done you any wrong
(and he has), and if he owes you anything (and he does), charge it to me. I, Paul, am writing this with my own hand. I will pay it back.’”
Paul knew about everything Onesimus did. Everything he had stolen. Knew the death penalty could have been enforced against
Onesimus. And yet he still says, “Whatever he owes, put that on my account and I’ll pay for it. It’s all on me.” This is, in part, a beautiful
illustration of what this good news of Jesus is all about. Paul paying a debt that Onesimus could not pay. That’s what Jesus does for
people who put their trust in him. Pays a debt to God’s holiness that we cannot pay.
There’s an old story about when Nicholas the First was Czar of Russia. He used to visit his military outposts dressed as an
ordinary soldier to see what was really going on. In one outpost there was a young officer who was in charge of the funds used to buy
supplies for the troops. Well, it was a lonely place and the young man began to do what soldiers in outposts have always done, he
looked for something to fill the long hours. He began to gamble, first with his own money and then when that ran out, with the money
that had been entrusted to him. He always intended to pay it back. People always do. He just needed that one big win. Right? But it
didn’t come. Then the news came that secret police were making their rounds to inspect the books, and that they’d be at his post the
next day.
The young officer went to his office, took out the books, wrote down what he was supposed to have, and then checked the
safe and counted out what he actually had. He’d lost so much more than he realized. He knew his fate. He was going to be arrested,
executed; his family disgraced and held accountable for his actions. He couldn’t face that, so he decided to take his own life at midnight.
He got out his revolver and a bottle of vodka. Began to drink to work up his determination. He took the piece of paper with all the
numbers on it and wrote a simple note to his family. “So great a debt, who can pay?” No one! He wished it would be different but he had
to end it all. But, as fate would have it, the despair and the vodka lulled him to sleep.
Nicholas the First happened to be visiting that camp in disguise. Late that night he noticed a light on in the office. Curious, he
knocked on the door and went in. He saw soldier slumped over the table. He looked at the figures on the paper. Saw the note. “So great
debt, who can pay?” He figured out what had happened and was going to have the officer arrested when he noticed the young man was
the son of a friend. So, instead he wrote one word on the page, then stamped it with his official signet ring, and went out into the night.
Hours passed and the man woke up. He picked up the revolver and was about to do it when he looked down at the paper with the
words, “So great debt, who can pay?” Underneath he saw the signature of Nicholas. Everyone knew that signature and the mark of his
ring. Somehow Nicholas had come and guaranteed his debt. Nicholas - that one word spoke peace to the young man’s desperate
heart.
When I was in high school I didn’t know much about God, except if God was halfway holy, and I had to meet him, I didn’t
stand a chance. Somebody told me the good news, and one word spoke peace to my heart: Jesus. Like the old hymn says: “Jesus paid
it all, all to him I owe; sin has left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.” What Paul did for Onesimus, what Nicholas did for
soldier, Jesus did for everyone who puts their confidence in him. Jesus pays the debt. Do you know that peace with God? You can.
Right now. Turn to him and say, “Thank you.” As Martin Luther once said, “We are all Onesimus.” So like Onesimus, invite Jesus into
your heart to be your Redeemer and Lord. Don’t put that off. Settle the debt once and for all. But folks, that’s only half of the good
news. The big splash, the ripple effects of Jesus goes further than that. After Philemon read the letter he probably said, “Okay,
Onesimus, I believe Paul will pay your debt. You can go out to the slave quarters and get some sleep, and tomorrow you can go back
into the fields with the rest of the slaves.” But Apphia says, “Dear, I don’t think you read the letter carefully. Paul said, ‘If you consider
me a partner, welcome him as you would welcome me.’ If Paul were here would you send him out to the slave quarters? I think that
means we are to do for Onesimus what we would do for Paul. Onesimus, I never thought I’d be saying this, but let me show you to the
guest room.” So, if we read this letter right, Onesimus went from disgraced slave to honored guest. Something like that did happen.
Onesimus was accepted as they would accept Paul.
Do you begin to get the picture here of how the gospel of Jesus dramatically changes relationships? A slave now has to be
welcomed as a brother. An equal. In Christ we are all the same – so how can one person own another? How can one believer treat
another believer as inferior? You can’t. The same Spirit of Jesus that lived in Philemon lived in Onesimus. They were brothers – not
owner and slave. And that idea was absolutely revolutionary. The gospel of Jesus brought with an equality in relationships that the
world had never seen. Never. Here’s one of the most revolutionary, dangerous, and world upsetting verses in the whole Bible – written
by Paul in Galatians 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in
Christ Jesus.” In one sentence Paul laid waste to the pillars of privilege and prejudice in the ancient Roman world. In one sentence he
said in Christ there is a different way to live. Racial divisions that pitted the minority Jewish people against the majority Gentiles.
Economic divisions that classified people according to their finances. And gender divisions where women were considered the property
of their husbands or fathers. All reversed because of the new oneness in the Body of Christ. Totally revolutionary.
You know Paul gets a bad rap from some folks who think he was anti-women. He was the most liberating spokesperson for
women that the world had ever seen. In the entire ancient world the church brought an equality for women that was unheard of. In fact
this new freedom for women was so liberating it started to get out of control. Women were taking their new freedoms too far. That’s
what is behind some of his commands to women about how they should behave in church. They needed to throttle it back a bit because
their freedoms were causing too much confusion in the local church. There had to be a sense of balance with the surrounding culture
even while experiencing a new sense of equality. For example, that’s why he tells women in 1st Corinthians 11:6 to keep their heads
covered. They lived in a culture like many modern day Islamic countries, like Saudi Arabia, where modesty laws are in force, and a
woman with an uncovered head was considered to be a prostitute. That’s how they advertised their business in the ancient world, by
uncovering their heads. So though Christian women had the freedom in Christ to do so, it wasn’t smart and it would bring the cause of
Christ into disrepute. Some women were taking their new freedom too far and it put the church in danger.
But think for a moment what this change in relationships meant to Philemon. Philemon moved from slave to brother. What if
Philemon had other slaves who were believers in Christ? He would have to treat them as equals, as brothers, too. That would upset his
whole financial model. The economy of the ancient world was based on slavery. They didn’t know anything else. There hadn’t been any
opposition to slavery until the gospel of Jesus said believers were all brothers and sisters equal before the Lord. That slaves should be
treated as brothers and sisters, not property or assets. It was going to cost Philemon a lot of money to be a follower of Jesus. The ripple
effect of new relationships in Christ was going to hit him hard in his bank account. That thing that Jesus said, you know, the “forgive us
our debts as we forgive our debtors” is a real thing now for Philemon. Jesus said to his people, you are to forgive others as you have
been forgiven. This gospel has relational implications that cannot be ignored.
Earlier I said that we are all Onesimus, our debt is paid by Christ. But we are also all Philemon, where we are called to
examine our relationships and ask, where am I holding onto a debt? Who owes me something that I need to forgive? Maybe it’s the
debt accrued by an absentee father who didn’t give you the love and attention you deserved. Someone who failed you in a significant
way. Or maybe it’s an injury you received – a harsh word from a former friend? Someone wounded you, betrayed you, and in your mind
they still owe you big time. Or is it some way in which you feel superior to others. Your ego, your race, your gender, your finances – set
you above others. You need to come off your pedestal and realize we are all sinners in need of grace. That the ground is level before
the cross and all people are equal before the Lord.
I really want you to think about something this week. In what ways are you Onesimus in need of forgiveness and grace? In
what ways are you Philemon with the need to forgive and to offer grace? Jesus is a big rock thrown into the water of your life. Let the
ripple effect of his presence spread out to all corners of who you are. AMEN.