Keywords: Homosexuality, discrimination, identity, stereotypes, religion, family
WEEK 3: EXPLORING NORMS AND MINORITIES JASMIN’S STORY
Content
This is the third lesson in a short module that is designed to introduce senior cycle
students to issues relating to sexual orientation, gender identity and homophobia.
The module, which can be carried out over a 6 week period, was piloted through
GLEN (Gay and Lesbian Equality Network) by Castleknock Community College.
This lesson explores how norms can affect life and the choices we make when
defining our identity. The core of the lesson is a real life story about a young woman
who does not fit the hetero-norm and identifies herself as an ethnic minority.
Students read the story and reflect on, analyse and discuss the different norms
described in the story.
Learning Objectives
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To develop student’s knowledge of bias and discrimination.
To strengthen students’ ability to analyse and discuss norms or societal
expectations.
To enhance students’ ability to reflect on their own attitudes and values and
on cultural and normative changes.
Subject
English, Social, Personal & Health Education or as a short stand alone module.
Meeting curriculum:
Estimated Time
2 x 40 minutes or one double lesson
Materials:
 A copy for each student of Student Sheet 2: Jasmin’s Story
 A copy for each group of 4-5 students on a set of discussion questions from
Student Sheet 3: Discussion Questions. Please note that for the group
work on “media and norms” internet access is needed.
 Group 1 work paper: Identity, norms and stereotypes
 Group 2 work paper: Norms and religion
 Group 3 work paper: Norms and media
 Group 4 work paper: Normal family?
A copy for the teacher of Teacher Sheet 1: Terms and Background for Working
With “Multiple Discrimination”.
 Sineads Hand Video clip (if students bring up marriage) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ULdaSrYGLQ
INTSTRUCTIONS
1. Introducing the Lesson and Jasmin’s Story
Begin by introducing the key theme and explaining to students they will be reading
about a real life experience of a young woman.
Give each student a copy of Student Sheet 2: Jasmin’s Story.
Allow time to read the story.
Take some time to clarify that all students understand the text – you can do this by
asking different students to highlight some of the main points under each section.
2. Group Work
Divide the class into groups of 4-5 students. Give students time to identify different
roles, for example, note-taker and reporter, chairperson and so forth.
Assign each group one of the themes from Student Sheet 3: Discussion
Questions to explore. Give them a copy of their appropriate set of questions.
Ask them to discuss their questions and to prepare to feedback on their theme for
the whole class. Give the groups up to 20 minutes to carry out the task.
Check in with each group to answer any questions or queries they might have.
3. Presentations
Ask each group to present their theme and the key points of their discussion. Other
groups can be encouraged to respond to what the group have presented.
When all groups have had the opportunity to present you can bring the discussion
closer to home:
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What do you think is meant by the term ‘multiple identities’?
Do you think it would be different here in Ireland to accept oneself as having
multiple identities and to be accepted by one’s family and society in general?
What do you think are some of the norms in this class or school on e.g.
gender identity and sexual orientation?
What do you think it would take to make it easier for people who do not fit e.g.
the gender norms for being a girl or a boy respectively?
What would it take in this class to change these norms or expectations?
4. Ending the Lesson
Take some time to briefly go back over the main points of the discussion. Highlight
any particular points that the students identified in relation to Irish society, the school
and themselves.
Tip to the teacher
Discuss the role that we all play in maintaining and changing norms and culture.
Jasmin experiences different forms of discrimination and bullying. Her mother and
the religious community of her mother do not tolerate her sexual orientation. She is
harassed at her workplace because she does not live up to gender norms. However,
Jasmin remains true to herself and finds support in the LGBT community.
Information for the Teacher
The objective of storytelling is to enable students to develop empathy with the main
character: What does it feel like to be vulnerable and exposed, and how can they
relate with understanding and empathy? Working with personal stories can also
sometimes motivate students to speak more openly in the group discussions that
follows. If this happens, it can present a challenge of maintaining a safe learning
environment. Therefore you might like to revisit the agreed ground rules before
progressing. Tell the students that while it can be very useful to refer to personal
experiences it is also okay to participate in the discussions without referring to one’s
own experiences.
Finally be sure to follow up and close the discussion properly before the end of class.
You might need to check in with the students to ensure that students feel that they
were heard and respected.
Recommendations
It is recommended that you carry out this lesson as part of a short module.
Acknowledgements
Particular thanks are due to Anne Kenny and Vickie Stokes for their work in piloting
this module and for their constructive feedback.
Jasmin’s Story has been adapted from the book: ‘The Cursed love’: 14 stories about
homosexual and cultural diversity, by Marianne Nøhr Larsen and Malene FengerGrøndahl, CDR Editions 2007, Denmark, Photos Hanne Bielefeldt.
STUDENT SHEET 2 : JASMIN’S STORY
My mother is from the Philippines and a firm Catholic believer. She is very committed
to her religion and goes to mass every Sunday. In her version of Catholicism
everything is black and white; Heaven or Hell,
there is no middle ground. There is just one
right way of leading one’s life and my mother
won’t make any compromises!
My mother cannot accept that I am lesbian.
She believes I sold my soul to the Devil, and
she doesn’t understand why I won’t try to
change it. She considers homosexuality to be
an illness and a sin that will drag me to Hell.
But to me being lesbian is something
destined, something I was born as and something I cannot opt out of, even if I
wanted to. There is nothing I’d rather do than make my mother happy, but I can’t
change who I am.
Growing Up
I wondered why I wasn’t interested when the other girls talked about boys. I could
tell that I wasn’t like many of the other girls; I was friends mostly with boys and if I did
play with girls, they were ‘tomboys’ like me.
Then one day at Sunday school, the priest said that homosexuals were to be
executed and when none of the other children objected, I too kept my mouth shut. At
that time I knew that had to be what I was. I thought I’d never be able to tell anyone
and that I’d have to live like this for all eternity.
My mother didn’t not see me as a ‘real girl’. I could see how much she loved my
sister who is my complete opposite. How much she loved to buy her dresses and
make-up. In a way my sister was my saviour for as long as my mother had her I was
allowed to be different.
At 15 I realised that I had to tell my family how I was feeling. I felt really awful. I was
going through puberty and everything was building up. I could no longer stand to
keep it all inside of me. I told my brother. He thought it was cool! But he also just had
to tell his friends, so when I walked by they would start whispering. Even though he
was only 13, I was furious.
Family Attitudes
The other night we (my brother and I) were watching The Ellen Degeneres Show, an
American TV-show with a lesbian host. But my brother just said: That woman, she is
way too weird; she thinks she’s a boy! I told him that she is a lesbian so he replied:
Okay, I did think something wasn’t right about her.
To my father it came as no surprise that I liked girls. But it’s as if he keeps forgetting.
Often I feel like I cannot allow myself to say anything because of some of the
comments he makes about lesbians. I often feel very insulted and if I start a
discussion things can get really loud. But we never say directly that we’re also talking
about me.
If I were able to choose, I’d wish that my mother would love me just as I am. But she
doesn’t – she can’t when she doesn’t accept me as I am. When I told her that I
preferred girls, she reacted by trying to save me. At one point she arranged for me to
talk to a priest. I tried to make my mother understand that being a lesbian was not a
problem for me. I didn’t think I needed a priest but rather someone who knew what it
means to be lesbian or bisexual. I didn’t need to be told that I was wrong, but that it
was right! It would be enough for me if she would just make a tiny effort to listen or
to understand, but she won’t. And when we’re at family gatherings, she still
sometimes acts as if I’m invisible.
Some Tough Years
For a number of years I wasn’t having a very good
time; the whole thing about coming out and finding
out who I was, was really tough.
I am now open about my sexuality – though it is not
always easy. When I meet new people, it’s not the
first thing I tell them. But I don’t hide it either. I have
an inner voice that tells me to be honest and if
people cannot accept that I’m a lesbian it’s their
problem.
At work a lot of the guys have a tough time accepting me, they often make sarcastic
remarks to me about being a lesbian and I have had to challenge them many times.
Having Faith
In many ways I feel my mother let me down, but I still care for her. I can’t help
missing her either no matter how terrible she is. And in someway I do understand
her. She has her reasons for behaving the way she does. When she is angry with
me it’s mostly because she wants to save me from going to Hell.
I still consider myself to be Catholic, but it’s impossible for me to go to the church I
went to as a child. Everyone stares at me. Many people believe that I cannot be a
lesbian and have a faith but I have a right to have a faith and I try to stick to it even
though my mother says homosexuality is the Devil’s work.
Having a Community
In the gay community everyone knows each other. We go out to the same places so
it’s sort of like a small village in the middle of the city centre. There is a lot of gossip
which can be annoying but altogether it’s
positive because it gives me the feeling of
being part of something bigger. When I’m a
part of the community I never feel all alone.
In a way I live in two separate worlds, my family is one world and the gay community
the other. But although the two worlds never meet I think it’s important not to keep
anything secret. I think it’s wrong to lead a double life. I believe your parents should
know who you are.
I’m proud of who I am and I stand up for myself and my identity as a lesbian woman.
I don’t tolerate other people’s prejudice.
A Real Catholic Dream
I would like to have a wife and two children, a boy and a girl. That’s a real Catholic
dream - a family going to mass every Sunday – I just swop the man for a woman.
We shall be married in a church and we’ll both be wearing trousers. Otherwise it’ll be
too male-female-like. I shall invite my parents to the wedding, and they shall both
show up and my mother shall become totally crazy about my wife…
It’s a lovely dream- but not reality. My mother would freak out completely and refuse
to meet my wife. My father would probably agree to meet her but then he’ll be a bit
odd or unfriendly when we meet. I am sure it would be awful but that won’t stop me
from dreaming.
STUDENT SHEET 3: DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Give each group a copy of one theme. Remember that internet access is
needed for Media and Norms
Group 1: Identity, Norms and Stereotypes
In this group you will discuss what norms and stereotypes are and how they affect
the ways in which we form our identity. Try to use examples from both Jasmin’s story
and your own life.
Ask your teacher to explain the following terms or look them up
(www.ittakesallkinds.eu): norm, stereotype, gender stereotype, gender identity,
sexual orientation
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What is the difference between a norm and a stereotype?
Can you identify the different aspects of Jasmin’s identity that the story
explores? For example, daughter, friend, etc.....
What do you think it means to be “a real girl” to
o Jasmin
o Jasmin’s family members
o You
Jasmin describes herself growing up as a “tomboy”. Discuss in your group
what you think this means?
Can you identify any gender stereotypes that exist in Ireland. List them and
discuss whether you know someone (from real life, from Jasmin’s story or
from TV/media) who has broken these stereotypes.
What are the
consequences of breaking these stereotypes?
Jasmin describes a number of different settings (home, church, workplace),
where she is met with negative attitudes. Can you identify the different
reactions people have and discuss in your group where you think these come
from?
Discuss in your group why it is so hard sometimes to be “different” from the
norm and what it means to break norms. Try to use examples from real life or
from the media.
Group 2: Norms and Religion
In this group you will discuss how religion influences the norms and how we form our
identities
Ask your teacher to explain the
(www.ittakesallkinds.eu):
norm, stereotype, sexual orientation


following
terms
or
look
them
up
Jasmin and her mother both believe in God and consider themselves
Catholics. What are the differences between Jasmin’s and her mother’s way
of being Catholic? Is Jasmin’s mother more Catholic than Jamsin?
Why do you think it is important for Jasmin to remain Catholic and go to
church, even though the Catholic Church is very critical of homosexuality?
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Do you think Jasmin can avoid having to choose between her faith and her
sexuality? Why/ Why not?
Discuss in your group what role religion can play in forming norms?
Group 3: Norms and Media
In this group you will discuss what role the media play in defining the norm and
reflect upon the norms that media in your country represent.
Ask your teacher to explain the
(www.ittakesallkinds.eu):
norm, stereotype, sexual orientation




following
terms
or
look
them
up
Jasmin mentions “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”.(If you do not know the show,
you can browse its website: http://ellen.warnerbros.com). The show has been
on air since 2003 and is very popular in the USA and most of Europe. Discuss
whether the fact that its host is lesbian has anything to do with its popularity?
Do you know of any musicians, TV-hosts, actresses or actors who are LGBT
persons? Does it affect your opinion of their music/shows/movies etc.?
How do you think the media in Ireland represent minorities (ethnic, religious,
sexual etc)? Are there any stereotypes used?
Choose one or two popular youth programmes, sitcoms, TV-shows or news
programmes from your country and discuss how they influence the norms in
your society.
Group 4: Family
In this group you will discuss the ways in which norms and stereotypes influence our
understanding of a “normal” family.
Ask your teacher to explain the following terms or
(www.ittakesallkinds.eu): norm, stereotype, sexual orientation
look
them
up
1. At the end of the story Jasmin describes her dream image of her future family.
She also mentions that it is rather unrealistic that her parents will approve of
it. Why do you think Jasmin keeps dreaming of something she considers to be
unrealistic?
2. What is a “dream family” for you? Go around the group and compare your
image of a perfect family? Are they different? Why/ Why not?
3. Take some time to think individually about the following statements and then
rank them according to what you think is most important to make your dream
life come through
Having the same partner throughout your life
Getting married
Having children
Not having children
Being in love with your partner
Sharing the same values and beliefs as your partner
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Having the same faith as your partner
That your friends like your partner
That your parents accept your choices
That you and your partner have enough money
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☐
4. Based on the responses to the above discuss the following: What norms on
gender, sexual orientation or other are expressed in your ‘dream life’? Where
do these norms come from (your parents, media, religion or other?). Do your
parents and grandparents have similar or different ways of being a family?
Why/ Why not? How do you think it will make Jasmin feel, if her mother
refuses to meet her future wife?
TEACHER SHEET 1: TERMS AND BACKGROUND FOR WORKING WITH
“MULTIPLE DISCRIMINATION”.
Identity and roles
Identity is a rather complex term, but is generally understood as a sum of many
different parts, which all together define us as individuals. All these parts and the
ways in which we use them are influenced by various factors, such as our cultural
traditions, religious beliefs and societal settings. How we identity or position
ourselves changes all the time, depending on whom we are around; what
expectations we anticipate meeting based on our gender; our sexual orientation;
age; ethnicity and so forth; what opportunities we have and what barriers we see and
meet.
People often play different roles in different settings. Many young people are
particularly skilled at navigating between different cultures and communities and
defining their identities in various ways. It may seem as if we are always free to
decide which part of our identity we choose to use or emphasize in a given time and
a given context.
However, in any given society a certain set of norms exist concerning how and when
we position ourselves – a certain way to understand how to be a “normal” boy, girl,
mother, sister, Muslim, Christian, student, teacher etc. These norms may not be
visible, but they most certainly affect how and when we choose to identify ourselves.
In Eren’s story how he feels about his ethnicity, religion and family affect his choice
of expressing his sexual orientation.
Some roles or parts of our identity we can choose how to define – for example you
can choose a certain way of dressing, a particular interest or a political affiliation –
other things such as skin colour or disability you are unable to control. We cannot
choose our sexual orientation and gender identity but an individual can hide it from
others, although the stress of this can exact a heavy toll on the individual’s wellbeing. As Eren’s story shows, the choices we make about coming out or not affect
our wellbeing and can make us feel uncomfortable, unhappy and depressed. The
freedom to be open about one’s identity can therefore be very positive in many ways
but it can also have negative consequences in situations where the social,
traditional, religious or other contexts do not find such identities acceptable. This can
lead to serious inner conflicts or to conflicts between the individual and his/her
surroundings.
Eren experiences bias on multiple grounds. The religious community he belongs to
does not accept his sexual orientation. He feels that he must hide it from his parents
and from the ethnic community he identifies with. Still Eren is confident in who he is
– particularly since he has found a community where he can feel accepted as gay
and religious. He succeeds therefore in coping/navigating through the conflict
between his identity and the norms.
Multiple Discrimination
The term ‘multiple discrimination’ refers to the fact that discrimination is a complex
phenomenon and often a person can be discriminated against on more than one
ground.
Being discriminated against means that a person is treated less favourably than
another because s/he belongs to a certain group. In the world of human rights the
reasons for discrimination are listed: you must not be discriminated against because
of your age; gender; disability; sexual orientation; ethnicity or race and/or religious
belief. Equality means that everyone should be able to access the same goods and
services. However it is not about treating everyone in a same way – it is about
treating everyone equally.
The difference is that equal treatment allows us to take individual’s personal
capacities into consideration. For example, a school might state that it makes no
difference in admission between children with disabilities and able-bodied children.
However, this is not of much value if the same school does not address the special
needs that children with disabilities have and makes sure that these needs are met
in the school (wider doors, special toilets, desks etc.) Equal treatment and nondiscrimination therefore is about making sure that all persons have the same
opportunities and access to the system by creating facilities adapted to those
persons’ needs.
It often happens that a person experiences discrimination on several different
grounds at the same time. The fact that we have many aspects to our identity
related to the roles that we assume results in us being labelled differently in different
settings. The experience of discrimination in multiple settings makes it more difficult
for a person to navigate between different settings, as it becomes even more
complicated to play different roles and avoid challenging the norms.
The terms ’minority’, ‘majority’, ‘diversity’
The term ‘minority’ refers to a person or a group of persons who share the same
characteristics. The minority stands in an asymmetric power relation to the majority
of a group or population. A minority is often in a less favourable position than the
majority who has the power to define norms and access to rights. Moreover, a
minority may be numerically larger than the majority. For instance during apartheid in
South Africa a small and white part of the population had the power to define norms
and access to rights of the larger black and coloured parts. Other examples of
minorities are sexual minorities, ethnic minorities and religious minorities.
Majority refers to a privileged group in a society whose member’s share common
characteristics and stands in an asymmetric power relation to a given minority(ies).
The majority possesses a ‘norm monopoly’ and thereby sets the agenda for what is
considered right and wrong at a given time. This ‘norm monopoly’ can be practised
through unwritten rules, legislation and/or in administration. An example of such a
‘norm monopoly’ is the heteronormative allegation dictating that it is more ‘natural’
and ‘right’ to be heterosexual than to be gay or bisexual. In legislation the
heteronorm dictated by the majority is demonstrated through for example, the bar on
access to marriage for same-sex couples.
The term diversity includes both the visible and invisible differences between
people. These differences can for instance be based on gender or gender identity,
age, disability, religion or faith, ethnic background, sexual orientation and/or political
opinion. The concept of diversity encompasses both minorities and the majority.
When referring to ‘diversity’ in this material, it builds on the idea that diversity is the
positive coexistence of people with diverse backgrounds in for instance a community
or a school, and recognizes diversity as a resource for society.
The term multiple discrimination refers to the fact that discrimination is a complex
phenomenon whereby an individual might experience discrimination on more than
one ground. For the most part focus is only on one aspect of the person and
therefore there is a tendency to overlook the fact that all people have many aspects
to their identity. All or most people define themselves as belonging to a gender;
having an age, ethnicity and sexual orientation etc. A woman who belongs to an
ethnic minority can for instance experience discrimination not only on the grounds of
her ethnicity but also on the basis of her gender and religion.
The term ‘diversity’ includes both the visible and invisible differences between
people. These differences can for instance be based on gender or gender identity,
age, disability, religion or faith, ethnic background, sexual orientation and/or political
opinion. The concept of diversity includes both minorities and majority. When
referring to ‘diversity’ in this material, it builds on the idea that diversity is the positive
coexistence of people with diverse backgrounds in for instance a community or a
school, and recognizes diversity as a resource for society.