Lessons on Diction Part I:
Weak Word Choice
Instruction
The writer’s primary task is to take words out of thin air and string them together into coherent
sentences. Not only do those words have to be in the correct order, they have to be the right
words for the right effect on the right audience. In other words, effective diction is a rhetorical
exercise that is difficult skill to master.
Consider the following sentence taken from a student analysis of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a
Dream” speech:
(1) In Martin Luther King’s text that he gave, he brings forth an extravagant amount of
viewpoints that centered on the listeners and worked at their perspectives and propositions as
to the problem of race issues.
This sentence has some diction problems. Below are three common examples of weak word
choice that we see here in sentence (1).
The wrong word
In Shakespeare’s comedy, Much Ado about Nothing, the absurd character Dogberry
responds to the evidence of a criminal’s misdeeds by saying, “O villain! thou wilt be condemned
into everlasting redemption for this.” The word “redemption” is clearly a malapropism, an
unintentionally humorous misuse of a word. In our writing, we often use words incorrectly,
often because we’ve never taken the time to look up those words. In sentence (1) the word
“propositions,” which usually means “a plan or proposal suggested for acceptance” is probably
the wrong word.
The “not quite as good as another” word
Not all synonyms are created equal. Sometimes we use words or phrases that are not
quite as good as others (i.e., not as clear, accurate, or descriptive). In sentence (1) above, the
word “viewpoints” would be better substituted with “arguments;” the phrase “brings forth”
with “presents” or “offers”; and the phrase “worked at” with “affected” or “influenced.” You
can also practice choosing more precise words by getting rid of adverbial qualifiers like “really,”
and “very” (i.e., replace “really smart” with the word “brilliant” and “very strange” with the
word “bizarre.”)
The imprecise word
The word “extravagant” has several meanings: it can mean “given to lavish or imprudent
expenditure,” “exceeding reasonable bounds,” “extremely abundant or profuse,” or just
“excessive.” Would any of those definitions fit into the way sentence (1) uses the word? The
third definition seems closest, but can we say with accuracy that Martin Luther King used
arguments in extreme abundance?
Sometimes imprecise words make our sentences vague. For example, in sentence (1),
what word would be more precise than “perspectives”? What about the word “text” or the
phrase “centered on”? Could we substitute a word or phrase that would be more specific than
“race issues”?
Exercises (these exercises are more effective if students are asked to bring dictionaries and
thesauruses to class)
1. Rewrite sentence (1) above using stronger, more accurate word choice. Take out words
that seem “wrong” to you; replace “not quite as good as another” words with better
ones; and replace imprecise words with more precise ones.
2. Exchange papers with a peer and select a page to revise for more effective diction. Try
the following activities:
 Circle all the words whose definition you don’t know. Look up these words in the
dictionary to determine whether or not your peer has used them correctly.
 Put a box around any word you feel your peer has misused—the word may be “not
as good as another,” imprecise, or completely wrong. Again, you may want to use a
dictionary.
 For the words in boxes, write alternative words in the margin as a helpful suggestion
to your peer. For this activity, you may want to consult a thesaurus.