10/04/2015
Table Manners
Luke 14: 1, 7-11
PRAY
I remember when I was a kid – sometimes I would go spend the night with a
friend. And every time I did, my mother would say the same thing. It was usually
the last thing she said as I headed out the door. “Now David, be sure to mind your
manners.”
Now I had a general idea of what that meant, because I had been taught the
proper way to act. I’m not sure where I learned it or how I learned it. Good
manners was just one of those things I learned growing up. I know a lot of it came
from my mother. Some I probably picked up by watching others. And I’ve learned
it is a cultural thing – sometimes even a regional thing. What is proper in one
place may not be proper in another. But the basic rules of courtesy and good
manners are universal.
I remember when I was a young Army officer – a new lieutenant serving my
first assignment. I was invited for dinner at the home of my company commander.
I really wanted to make a good impression. I had met his wife but only briefly. I
had never been in their home. And I was nervous. I still remember what we ate
that night. We had steak and baked potato and English peas. I like English peas,
but I hate the way they can jump right off your fork. So I was being extra careful.
Then it happened. As I was cutting my steak, something slipped and I shot peas
half way across the table. And if that wasn’t bad enough, after dinner we had
coffee with dessert. The coffee was served in these dainty little china cups. You
know the ones with a handle so small you can’t get your finger through the hole.
And when I reached for my first drink of coffee, this is what happened. Coffee
everywhere – in my plate and all over her beautiful linen table cloth. So much for
good table manners. Oh, they were very gracious. They said it could happen to
anyone and for me not to worry about it. But I don’t remember ever being invited
back to their home.
Manners are important. Whether we are at home or at some fancy formal
affair, it is important to know how to behave – to know how to act – to know what’s
proper.
In the reading from the Gospel of Luke, Jesus gives a lesson on manners.
One day Jesus was invited out to dinner. It was the Sabbath. They had all been
to church. And someone asked Jesus to come to his house afterwards. But Luke
says they had an ulterior motive. “They were watching him closely.” They wanted
to catch Jesus in a misstep. They were looking for some action, some expression,
some behavior they could criticize. They were looking for any reason to discredit
him.
As the Gospel stories frequently make clear though, it is risky to invite Jesus
to dinner. If there is an error, a failure, a faux pas to be revealed, it’s not going to
be his, but ours. Jesus has the uncanny ability to see right through our wellrehearsed facades to reveal the essential nature of our character. That’s what
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happened that day. That’s what happens whenever we spend time in the master’s
presence.
Jesus used the occasion of dinner that day to underscore two essential
characteristics of Christian behavior – that is proper Christian behavior: humility
and generosity.
Not only was Jesus being watched, he was watching them. Jesus noticed
how the guests clamored for the best seats at the table and he told them a story.
Actually, the basis for the story was not new. Jesus reached back into their own
history. He recalled a precept from the Book of Proverbs – Proverbs 25:6-7. “Do
not exalt yourself in the king's presence, and do not claim a place among great
men; it is better for [the king] to say to you, ‘Come up here,’ than for him to
humiliate you before a nobleman.” Jesus couched this teaching in a story about a
wedding feast, but he was really talking about living in God’s kingdom. He
concludes by saying, “For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those
who humble themselves will be exalted."
When you come to the table in God’s kingdom, its best to be humble. I
remember a song by Mac Davis: “O Lord, it’s hard to be humble, when you’re
perfect in every way.” Well, we may not think we are perfect, but we are prideful.
Humility may be the most elusive of all virtues. The amazing thing about humility:
the moment you think you have achieved it, you’ve lost it.
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Historians tell a story about the funeral of Charlemagne. Charlemagne was
perhaps the greatest Christian ruler of the early Middle Ages. After his death a
mighty funeral procession carried his body from his castle to the cathedral. When
the royal casket arrived, with a lot of pomp and circumstance, it was met by the
local bishop, who barred the cathedral door.
"Who comes?" the Bishop asked, as was the custom.
"Charlemagne, Lord and King of the Holy Roman Empire," proclaimed the
Emperor's proud herald.
"Him I know not," the Bishop replied. "Who comes?"
The herald, a bit shaken, replied, "Charles the Great, a good and honest
man of the earth."
"Him I know not," the Bishop said again. "Who comes?"
The herald, now completely crushed, responded, "Charles, a lowly sinner,
who begs the gift of Christ."
To which the Bishop, Christ's representative, responded, "Enter! Receive
Christ's gift of life!"
Even Charlemagne in all his glory and good works could not assume a
position of honor. The more that honor is bestowed on us, the more we must
resist its lure. Does that mean we shouldn't be proud of our accomplishments?
No, not at all. But we should not seek the accolades that come with success. We
should not be motivated purely in order to receive the praise of others. Albert
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Einstein once said, “Try not to become a man of success, but try to become a man
of value.” And the book of Proverbs reminds us that “Pride comes before a fall.”
We become humble, truly humble, when we realize that we are all sinners in
need of salvation, beggars in need of bread. We are welcome at God’s table not
because we deserve to be there, but simply because God loves us and because
God invites us there. It does not matter how rich or poor we might be. It matters
not whether we are male or female, powerful or helpless. God isn’t concerned
with our intelligence, or our accomplishments, or who our parents were. It doesn’t
matter where we were raised or what school we graduated from. None of that
matters. We are welcome at God’s table only because the host has invited us.
Jesus purchased our ticket. His sacrifice ushers us into the family of faith.
Through faith we become sons and daughters of God, and heirs to the kingdom.
Being humble begins with an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and of joy
that we are invited to come and be part of the family. If we are truly grateful,
humility will naturally follow.
And when we are truly grateful, we will be generous. Jesus reminded his
hearers and he reminds us that generosity, genuine generosity, is based in love,
not in the expectation that we will be repaid. “When you throw a party,” Jesus
said, “don’t invite the ones who can pay you back, but the ones who cannot.”
Giving without the expectation of receiving is true generosity.
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Each time we come to the Communion Table, each time we take into our
bodies the body of Christ, we are reminded of who we are and whose we are. We
are brothers and sisters in Christ, members of God's family. It is that knowledge,
that awareness, that fills us with gratitude and generates in us a true spirit of
humility and generosity.
Mother Teresa was once asked, "How do you measure the success of your
work?" She thought about the question and gave her interviewer a puzzled look.
Then she said, "I don't remember that the Lord ever spoke of success. He spoke
only of faithfulness in love. This is the only success that really counts.”
AMEN!
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